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how to not get frustrated with yourself when you do a compulsion (especially if it’s one that you always do)

Does anyone else worry that you or others they have confessed to or sought reassurance from are downplaying or minimizing things that are actually a problem or bad? How do you know for sure if you downplaying something that is bad?

My bf and I of one month spend a lot of time together. but recently I feel relieved when he’s gone and prefer to be alone. The love I show him feels forced. I hate feeling this I don’t want to. He reassures me that it’s just OCD and I do love him and then I feel better and in love but then it happens again. I’m scared deep down I am losing feelings but am in denial. He’s such a great guy I don’t wanna feel this. But I feel like I want to push him away or do my own thing a lot of times and I HATE IT!! I’m so sad and frustrated. Can OCD cause this? Or should I break it off ):

Hi, is it possible to actually stop intrusive thoughts or do I need to shift my tactic to accept I can’t get rid of intrusive thoughts but concentrate on how I react to intrusive thoughts. If so that’s a game changer in my life

When I was 15/16, I would talk to random strangers online in chatrooms. I was really lonely, moved to a strange city, and the pandemic had started during this time too. I thought it was funny to just mess around with people. But then it got weird. I would talk to people, tell them my name. I trusted some of them. It’s so embarrassing. I look back and realize a lot of those people were genuinely weirdos and idk why I was so gullible but. It all plays into my OCD. I keep thinking what if I talked to those people because I’m like them/will become like them. Why was I so stupid? What if I really wasn’t gullible and I knew better even though I know that I genuinely was sheltered and dumb asf because I was 15/16 and knew nothing about life?

I’ve been suffering from non stop 24/7 dpdr for a year and a half now. I never really had OCD in a big way before I suffered some major panic attacks. Since then I’ve been a completely different person. I used to live a carefree life of traveling. Socializing. Experiencing life. After my panic attacks I became agoraphobic, couldn’t leave the house or work. My thoughts were like a washing machine over and over. I’ve done a lot of work to help overcome the fear of panic, but I’m still stuck in a 24/7 DPDR state- my thoughts never stop, I’m always searching for answers about my mental health, I have music stuck in my head from the time I wake up to the time I got to sleep, my mind is racing, attacking what I value, saying hopeless thoughts, anxiously worried about everything, I don’t do physical compulsions but I’m mentally checking myself all the time to see if I’m in DPDR still, or if things feel “weird” - I have a huge fear of going crazy and death. Although I’m not having panic attacks anymore, I’m still mentally anxious all the time. I feel like I cannot escape my thoughts, they torture me. I can’t feel any emotions, I’ve lost my sense of self, I can’t make new memories or be present - I’m constantly in my head. A lot of what kicked this off was years of trauma that was stored in my nervous system, once unleashed, I haven’t been able to recover. I want my life back. I’m tired of living in fear and exhaustion to the point where nothing brings me joy. Anxiety and ocd have taken my freedom from me, I feel like the thoughts rule every decision I make instead of being able to live freely, sometimes I don’t think it’s anxiety because I can’t feel anything physically, but these thoughts torture me- no one should have to live this way. What do I do? I’m taking medication but all it’s done is stop the physical symptoms, the thinking has not gotten better

Hi! I’m new here. I have OCD but nothing to the extent that my young daughter does. I’m struggling so bad to watch her go through this and see the distress and panic in her face when she can’t seem to stop the compulsions or quiet her head. I feel like so many different types of OCD might be easier to battle with ERP. She has many different types but the one that’s hitting her the hardest and I’m struggling to find ways to help her with is the fact that her brain is telling her that if she doesn’t do this and do that and touch this this many times etc etc etc then someone (usually me) is going to die. She won’t say this out loud either because she’s afraid of speaking it into existence. How do you do an exposure for something like that? It has to be so hard when you think someone you love might die because you don’t touch something a certain way. I’d love to find someone on here who has ever experienced the same thing. Does this type of OCD have a name?

Have to go to court tomorrow and face my harasser. I am terrified and it’s making my OCD go out of whack and is scaring me.

It’s been a while since my last post and I’m doing good, but my ocd therapist on here and I believe that we try combining therapy and medicine since I’m still making good progress, the anxiety is still strong. I talked to a psychiatrist and explained what’s been going on. I’m willing to try some new medicine to see if it helps. Has anyone tried Escitalopram? I just want to know not for reassurance but just to hear some stories. If you don’t want to post, it’s okay, I’m just curious and I promise I’ll try not to look for reassurance

I’m really hesitating about taking medication, I’ve always been scared of medication used for mental health but my psychiatrist considers that I would benefit from these pills and that they will make my recovery easier. Can you please share your experiences with ocd medication? Has it been helpful? Did it give you some sort of addiction? Secondary effects? Thank you 🙏🏼

Just curious.....how many people who've received their " OCD Conqueror" badge still have regular intrusive thoughts that ramp up their anxiety?

Now I feel like one is imminent, I’m starting to really struggle and my anxiety is through the roof. I started Wegovy 4 weeks ago and also switched from combination birth control pill to the mini pill about the same time, I’m wondering if these changes are impacting my mental stability and triggering my OCD. I’m so scared, replaying real event (or false memory) things over and over again in my head again.

I wanted to see if any girlies had a similar experience. I’ve been on the birth control pill (sprintec) for about 9 years now. The onset of my OCD started half way through about year 4. I’m wondering if anyone has ever contributed their onset or symptoms due to birth control? Second question is it seems the longer I am on the pill and experience the week before my period (still in the active pills) the week before the sugar pills i have awful PMS symptoms that exacerbate my pure o harm ocd. I am considering coming off of the birth control as I’ve read several studies that it wrecks your gut health and depletes serotonin levels. Any gals notice their ocd to be worse and less manageable while on the birth control pill? Or anyone who had positive experiences coming off of it?

I just went on an internet spiral. Obviously it is one of my compulsions. I was researching about pedos and the criteria. I even went as far to almost sign up for a pedo support group because obviously I was convinced after my research. UGH I knew I was not supposed to do that. I feel worse and better at the same time. I hate myself. I hate this. I was really bad like this in October but I got put on medication and I thought I was getting better then this happened. I hate this. I don’t know who I am. I don’t want to be a pedo but sometimes I think I am in denial. I am so stressed with this and school (it’s mid term season). Literally this is the same time I had a break down last semester. I am seeing a pattern. I hate this I hate myself.

does anyone else deal with the need to tell their parents everything bc if you don’t you feel like they don’t know you? especially if you feel like you’ve done something wrong?

i have two dogs, and i love them both so much. but one of them spends more time with me than the other. but that doesn’t mean i love them less. well i was working with one with training, and my mind was like “you don’t love him, you never loved this dog, you hate him, he sucks” i have never EVER felt this way about him. but now i can’t be near him without thinking i secretly hate him, but i don’t. i love him so much

So I had a good day yesterday but last night and today I've been ruminating over what I could have done better and what I messed up and it's basically ruining my memory of the day by making the less good stuff bigger in my mind than the good stuff. I'll have to bring this up with my therapist but in the meantime, does anyone have any thoughts on how to better focus on the good aspects?

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

I honestly can’t deal with this anymore. I have a 2 year old who needs me, a partner and family who love me. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to leave my family behind. I just wish there was a magical fucking cure to heal me!! I can’t confess anymore because my partner put up his boundaries. And literally drowning in thoughts. I haven’t stopped obsessing about these things for days on end like the whole time I’m awake, till the moment I fall asleep. I never get a break. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m over living a life that doesn’t even feel like I’m living. I’ll probably just be stuck this way forever so what’s the point… I know that sounds selfish but I can’t help my feelings. I cry every day almost. Had a full on mental breakdown today. Feel so fucking bad. Feel so guilty for these thoughts. I literally have been in the backyard screaming like I’m dying over these thoughts for atleast an hour today. My daughter hears all of this from inside. I’m a terrible mum and a terrible partner and a terrible everything. Everyone would be better off without me.

Hey, well, this is my first time ever posting in here but I figured why not? I’ve been struggling with this issue for almost three months now and it’s been a constant battle, I guess I just really need some support, so almost a year ago now, I got in a relationship and I realized I may be Asexual since I didn’t really have any sexual desires towards my partner, starting late November though, I began to have these intrusive images in my head of us having sex. These thoughts have caused me a lot of anxiety and stress as well as depression. It’s weird, I know deep down in my heart I don’t desire any of that with her but the thoughts feel so real at times and sometimes that makes me feel like I want the thoughts. I’m pretty much lost at this point and don’t know if whether it is OCD or if I’m just in denial. The thing is, I don’t want to see her that way, she doesn’t want to ever engage in any sexual activity and I want to respect that and respect the decision we both made to never do so unless it’s to have a baby. I just feel a sense of doom I guess, I’m scared that I might like the thoughts when I don’t want to like them. I’d feel so much guilt if it isn’t OCD and it’s actually me, and the thought of that terrifies me. I hope every day it’s OCD.