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The only thing keeping me from getting rid of my pocd theme is the false attraction. At least I really hope and pray it is. I just can't get over it. How did you guys overcome that part?

This is another heavy topic, I tried posting about it yesterday but I deleted it as I dont think I was ready to post about it yet. I ended up relapsing with porn yesterday, specifically animated porn. I still feel really gross about it and wish I didn't relapse. It's made me realise that my OCD is very much linked to pornography and the stuff I have seen without wanting to. I don't want to see that stuff anymore. Im still kind of spiraling right now actually. Does anyone have any advice?

I had broken up with my bf like 3- 4 months ago it only lasted like 2 days being broken up. We’ve been together after those 2 days. In those 2 days people had messaged me asking what happened and I told them some stuff I don’t remember anymore and i feel so guilty because I don’t remember what I said and I blocked those people so I can’t see the messages. All I remember saying was I just don’t see a future with him. And I told my bf about this and cried to him and we talked about that. And I find whenever he does something nice for me I don’t deserve it. And that I’m hiding something from him and I can’t stop ruminating on what exactly I said and that I need to tell him. Help please!

I want to cryyyyyy. I am in agony for no good reason. I went on a wonderful date the other day were we spent some very quality time together and then texted back and forth a bit and she started throwing out some ideas to hang out again. I’m working on not jumping the gun and reaching for certainty prematurely when it comes to intimacy so from my lens I have been very honest but intentional with how I’ve chosen to engage. She hasn’t responded to my message in over 48 hours and now I’m really struggling with how much this simple, probably mundane, situation is eating at me. I feel like I’m holding my breath trying to survive through this discomfort. I keep checking my phone over and over again and contending with these thoughts about what if I did something or what if she never responds and what I did to cause this. Im so tired. The issue isn’t her communication style. It’s how my brain is filling in voids. It’s so taxing and even if this is just a normal hiatus from texting (something we spoke about being okay), it’s too early in the connection to communicate what I’ve been going through and request a clarification or heads up text about not communicating for a bit. This is what she did before and I absolutely loved the way she did that. I really don’t want to text all the time back and forth that’s exhausting but the ocd is weaponizing my fear of abandonment against me. I’m working so hard to face my demons head on by putting myself in this situation and sitting with all this experience kicks up in me. Just because I have struggles, traumas, and quirks does not mean I do not deserve to love and to be loved. I’m trying to be gentle with myself throughout this but it’s really hard. It’s crazy how something so mundane can bring me to my knees. I’m so tired. So so tired. I just want a chance to practice love and mature in how I hold it. This is so much more difficult than what they sell you on in the movies and in music. There’s no perfect girl coming to nurse my woes away. No one that I can sweep off their feet high enough that it encapsulates my entire sense of self worth. That’s a trap. A sticky one. But still a trap. This is the work. Not a masochistic, white knuckling pseudo-exposure. A genuine pursuit of connection in all its imperfect glory. I post on here from time to time mostly to vent and am not really looking for a response, but I’m struggling. I don’t want reassurance I just was hoping to get some words of support from a community that understands this agony not just as a person pursuing connection but also someone the has to put effort into loosening the vice grip ocd likes to put on these circumstances. Thank you guys and happy ocd awareness week!

hi guys, I am 14M and am new to this app. I was diagnosed with ocd a few months ago, and I have been suffering with existential ocd for a while. All in all, am really scared of it not being nothingness after death. I apologize for how long this is, so feel free to skim through it. My newest fear is that once you die, you go into the next available life over and over and over forever (this is something called generic subjective continuity, or GSC) and my brain keeps making horrible fears on how horrible the next lives can be, and because the universe is most likley infinite, there’s infinite copies of me and infinite variations (some where I’m being tortured in gruesome and horrible ways), and after infinity if general subjevtive continuity is real, I’ll have to experience all of those horrible versions of my life, alongside horrible versions of other lives as other organisms, animals, people, etc. Google keeps saying GSC is likelier than oblivion for my POV, so all of my fears feel like certainties. I feel like fiction/horror is ruined since I’ll subjectively experience every horror movie in GSC too. My brain keeps generating horrible, really gruesome and disturbing scenarios knowing GSC is liklier than oblivion and I’ll have to subjectively experience it possibly. Like fishing (something I loved before all of this), and just killing bugs seems impossible because “what if the next available life is in a parallel universe as the bug that I killed”? It imagines how horrible the next lives will be, and how horrible the variations will be, since it’s eternal. I know this probably sounds really dumb, but I’ve googled for 4+ hours a day. I’m really wondering if anyone else has similar fears, or fears regarding infinity/a multiverse. It feels 100% real unless I disprove it 100%. I spiral on “likelihood/probabilities” on my fears and desperately try to prove my fears as less likely than oblivion. GSC on its own makes the egg theory (living as everything and everyone, ever in every possible variation.) real indirectly, which is another huge fear. Before my ocd flared up, I’ve never (not once) thought about stuff like this. If you asked me this a year ago, I would laugh it off as not real. It feels so real now. I’m just looking for people who have something similar/a similar experience.

{First post! I hope my tags are okay, I'm still getting used to using my health apps for the correct thing, instead of being a forgetful lurker.} — Sort of like title is asking. So, for a bit of background, my mother is one of those "nothing is wrong with my children" parents, and denies very obvious symptoms within all of my siblings, self included. She's slowly getting better about that, and I've gotten more comfortable sharing my symptoms and problems with her. However, it's important to note that, due to the way I was brought up by her, I tend to intellectualize and compartmentalize myself a LOT. By that, I mean I tend not to be emotionally or mentally "in-tune" with myself or my thoughts. Recently, I called my mother, just to chat. Somewhere in the conversation, the topic of me and OCD came up. In her own words, my mother said she absolutely knew my brain was wired differently. According to her, one of my lifelong compulsions is "an element of chaos." I can clean a room top to bottom, but then I can't sit in it for an extended period because it feels too "sterile," and unlived in. She told me she'd had to explain to my other siblings in the past that I wasn't "dirty," I was just different. It's not even something I've noticed! My partner also noticed this, and whenever we have this sort of conversation, they tend to point out other compulsions I have; but this is the first time the "chaos" compulsion's been brought up. I was in utter disbelief about it, and after finishing the conversation with my mother, my partner and I got to talking. I went into a full spiral, going on and on about how I can't "possibly" have OCD because I have several other health and mental conditions, so having OCD felt like "too much," and that I didn't feel as though my compulsions were obsessive or based on irrational thoughts. My partner tried to remind me about some recent compulsions I'd had only a few days prior, as well as my long history of compulsions and moments where it inhibited daily function. I argued that they "didn't count," because the fear was rational due to history (personal or general) with that particular trigger. I argued I wasn't "afraid," I was careful. They reasoned that it was only further proof, because I'd never personally experienced the outcome of that fear. According to them, it was a very clear fear of contamination and illness that had resulted in the need to react with a particular behavior. Either way, the argument devolved into me constantly denying many of my conditions, and them getting frustrated because they know that denying symptoms and conditions will only hurt more down the line. They think some of it has to do with how the internet treats people with any atypical conditions, because I argue points such as "but what if I don't actually have OCD and it was wrong, and I'm secretly stealing resources from others?" They said that me thinking that way was clearly a sign of the intrusive and anxious thinking that resulted in my compulsive behaviors to begin with, and I said it was a reasonable thought. Every compulsion was met with "well my brain isn't being irrational, it's just how I am." The chaos compulsion became less about the idea of me being uneasy about a seemingly sterile and orderly environment, and more that it just felt "off." My brain doesn't say "it's wrong because x," and sometimes it BARELY comes out as "it's wrong." Most of the time, I can't hear the thought behind the compulsion, I just act on it subconsciously without processing. My partner says this is due to my near-constant dissociation, and the fact that I grew up the way I did. I never thought to look in and check-in with myself to see how I was doing, too busy making sure no one else got upset around me. Somewhere in this, the thought that of my denial being a compulsion came to mind. I brought it up, and they think it very well could be a compulsive behavior in response to a fear of being "broken," or "wrong" in some way. I grew up the middle child of a dysfunctional home, and the threat of a hospitalization being on my "permanent record" kept me from getting the help I needed as a child. I was the kid that good grades, and was ignored unless my grades slipped to anything lower than A's and B's. My partner believes this caused me to develop many of my conditions and complexes, including a fear of not being "good enough." So, is it possible that me being in denial of my OCD (and other conditions) is a compulsive behavior?

I can’t stop waking up to this aching feeling in my chest, and all these thoughts in my head. I don’t know what to do. My chest hurts, and I’m so tired. No matter what I think or try to do, this aching feeling in my chest doesn’t go away. It’s every night. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t even know if it’s a mental or physical problem. How do I get it to stop?

Im trying so hard to be better... but I'm struggling... I just hope someone finds the time to respond... I genuinely feel so lost right now... and someone on here blocked me which makes me feel worse... UPDATE: My ex and I broke up nearly 6 months ago... so... the girlfriend thing is outdated... and I'm so exhausted... plus I got assaulted at my job as a caretaker in march... nearly assaulted by a drunk man in September... i haven't had a proper break since last winter... and my intrusive thoughts of real events is haunting me... With my harm ocd hitting full swing... i find myself triggered by my pocd again... and i feel like a horrible person... i tried not to post... i tried to do what people told me... but right now i feel absolutely horrible... I genuinely feel so guilty... I cant handle the anxiety... Im doing horribly right now because I feel so so guilty about this... Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p3dophilic activity and inappropriately abusing and inappropriately messaging women and minors and abusing others and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... and that I'll be cancelled and arrested later in life because of all of this... I have genuinely never felt more alone in my life than this particular moment right here... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... (the 18+ HOCD situations were about 18+ graphic HOCD situations that triggered me immensely...) When I was 19, in an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person because of politics... I vented to her a second time because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I'm so genuinely triggered... I don't want to be a P or a MAP or a groomer or a bad person... I wanna be a good person who does good things for other people... I dont want to be arrested for any crimes... I just want to be a good person who helps people in the medical field... I only want to help others... the last thing I want is to commit any form of harm towards kids or teens in any way... 😭😭😭 And I keep getting intrusive thoughts of calling the 14-15 year old "cute" with her saying "thanks" on text... I genuinely find this so awful and disgusting...

Im trying so hard to be better... but I'm struggling... I just hope someone finds the time to respond... I genuinely feel so lost right now... and someone on here blocked me which makes me feel worse... UPDATE: My ex and I broke up nearly 6 months ago... so... the girlfriend thing is outdated... and I'm so exhausted... plus I got assaulted at my job as a caretaker in march... nearly assaulted by a drunk man in September... i haven't had a proper break since last winter... and my intrusive thoughts of real events is haunting me... With my harm ocd hitting full swing... i find myself triggered by my pocd again... and i feel like a horrible person... i tried not to post... i tried to do what people told me... but right now i feel absolutely horrible... I genuinely feel so guilty... I cant handle the anxiety... Im doing horribly right now because I feel so so guilty about this... Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p3dophilic activity and inappropriately abusing and inappropriately messaging women and minors and abusing others and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... and that I'll be cancelled and arrested later in life because of all of this... I have genuinely never felt more alone in my life than this particular moment right here... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... (the 18+ HOCD situations were about 18+ graphic HOCD situations that triggered me immensely...) When I was 19, in an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person because of politics... I vented to her a second time because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I'm so genuinely triggered... I don't want to be a P or a MAP or a groomer or a bad person... I wanna be a good person who does good things for other people... I dont want to be arrested for any crimes... I just want to be a good person who helps people in the medical field... I only want to help others... the last thing I want is to commit any form of harm towards kids or teens in any way... 😭😭😭 And I keep getting intrusive thoughts of calling the 14-15 year old "cute" with her saying "thanks" on text... I genuinely find this so awful and disgusting...

18+ So me and my bf have been trying to attempt sex. For context, we are both virgins and I have never done anything or inserted anything in me. The first time we attempt he wasn’t turned on and it just didn’t work so we took a break for a few weeks trying other things so the next time is more relaxed especially because it was a huge thing for me to want to do it because it’s my first time and very special for me but I realized how much I really want to have that experience with him. Well yesterday we tried again and it couldn’t go in and it was SOO painful and of course I googled and talked to ChatGPT and it kept saying “it’s not supposed to hurt” which of course disappointed me a lot and then triggered my ocd. Then I’ve seen many suggestions on making a gynecologist appointment but I’ve like never done anything like this before so it’s all so new and scary and kinda embarrassing for me and I’m also soo afraid that if it is a diagnosis is there something wrong with me? Why can I enjoy and have sex like normal people? And then I spiral into thinking my bf deserves someone who doesn’t have all these problems and honestly I’m experiencing soo much anxiety and I don’t know what to do and on top of that it was soo embarrassing ☹️

Hi Everyone, My name is Sydney. I was diagnosed with OCD about 4 months ago when I went through a partial hospitalization program. I started ERP 7 weeks ago and my OCD has gotten so much worse. It’s so loud. I can’t get relief from googling anymore but I still reach for it. I don’t know anyone who’s gone through ERP so I feel very alone. I’m hoping it’s common for it to get so much worse before it gets better. I just feel alone.

Hi! So like I'm pretty sure it is like a "compulsion" of mine to re-read, re-think, or double check a lot. Like I had to write a few emails out for my boss, and all of them essentially said the same thing but like I kept re-reading them at one point over and over. Then there is the fact I got some information I needed for each email from a spreadsheet, so, at one point, I ended up going back and rechecking the information I wrote to make sure I ain't mess up anything. Then, I'm overthinking whether or not I should be even sending these emails out now because my boss didn't tell me a specific date she wants me to send the emails by. Even though I had her look at an original draft I wrote to make sure it sounds okay (minus the spreadsheet info). So like she EXPECTS me to do this for her sooner or later. I even CCed her on the email. I shouldn't be overthinking that fact but I WAS. I asked someone to reassure me it was okay to send them. I ended up sending the emails after taking way longer than necessary when I had them already written out. I'm okay now. What I'm trying to ask is, how do I stop myself from the "compulsion?" The need to re-check everything even when I know the answer, when it's not a big deal to mess up, when I have already been spending so much time making sure it's PERFECT. I know I gotta just resist or in this case, just send the damn emails without thinking, but like HOW??? Is this even OCD or am I just overthinking this whole thing too? I'm new to this thing. Just got diagnosed.

I have a friend that I have now realized has feelings for me. And is being extremely possessive over me to the point that he's minorly stalking me and getting pissed off at my other friend's for spending time with me. I'm worried about his mental health because I know he's showing signs of like psychosis. He has like hallucinations that he talks to and names and gives like personalities and stuff, and I just don't know how to mellow out the friendship, because i've just been ghosting him. I've had multiple people that go to college with me reach out to me and ask how I'm doing. Because he is so possessive that he's making other people uncomfortable. We reached out to my college's r. A about the fact that he has hallucinations, but they can't do anything about it because he's an adult, and he can choose if he wants to go to therapy or not. I just don't know what to do. Because i'm worried that he might escalate, he has my schedule, he made me change my schedule from it just being blocked with college to all of my classes during that time period so he knows what classes I go to. And it makes me worried that he might try and have a conversation with me. In person, instead of online like he has been. It's been making my anxiety spike and my ocd get worse due to the stress from it just not sure what to do.

It's been months since I last posted to this website. I thought I was getting better and learning to establish better boundaries. For a minute, I could live with myself despite the things I did as a teenager. Because I thought at the end of the day, I was only a kid when I did those things. It wouldn't erase the harm in them and it shouldn't ever, but I thought because I had these signs of OCD instead of not caring or getting off from them, I needed therapy to get back to where I was before this all started and be the assertive and moral person I want to be. I took comfort knowing those things happened because I was a dumb kid and not someone intentionally hunting vulnerable people down, so there was still time to fix it and I'd be able to protect others instead of hurting them But I started seeing these exposed documents all over Twitter even after I muted the words and my intrusive thoughts and compulsions started feeding on my past actions again. I have been relying on AI for reassurance, clarity and advice and I'm not sure it's going anywhere anymore. I feel like I'm a threat to minors again and I'll always be a groomer for what I did. But it's weird because I recently discovered that I myself was groomed by my ex friend. We didn't have a large age gap but it was everything else that made it grooming My intrusive thoughts and compulsions have been trying to turn it back on me by bringing up what I did and how it affected others. I don't even know if I can talk about it anywhere but with a therapist because it's super disturbing. But it's been telling me that if what my ex friend did was grooming, then that makes me a predator too. I keep analyzing my thoughts and trying to seek certainty but I don't know if I'm only avoiding accountability for my actions by doing that. What I did was deeply messed up and nothing can ever justify it. I worry about the people I hurt a lot even if it could be creepy, and I wish I could have only said no and draw lines and boundaries instead of letting things happen. I was so reckless and a pushover as a teenager and I know I can't take that back no matter how much accountability I take and how much I "prove" I'm not that person anymore I can no longer look at certain fictional characters and media without spiraling. Some time ago, I temporarily went back to looking at a child character and simply shrugging it off and telling myself any groinals was the stress and intrusiveness talking. But now I struggle to look at any character under 18, even if they're an adult for most of that media without worrying about whether or not I'm a pedophile. I stopped looking at a specific character I found attractive because of this and that character instead became a trigger for spirals I have also been dealing with contamination compulsions, specifically with bathroom problems. My hands feel dirty whenever I use the bathroom, and I agree it's good to wash your hands after you use the bathroom, but it's been stressing me out. It's not as bad as the pedophilic intrusiveness and compulsions but it's been something I have been noticing and wanting to say somewhere The good news is that I have insurance now. I'm praying that after getting my card, that I'll be able to see a therapist so I can at least find a way to deal with this in a healthy way. Even rn I'm trying to resist the urge to text crisis again because these spirals make suicide and reassurance seeking tempting. I'm only slightly better than I was earlier this year and that really sucks. I was doing so good for a few weeks and it came crashing down again. I'm so tired

So I’m not as knowledgeable with medication for OCD or for any mental illness for that matter. I never took a prescription and my past therapist never prescribed me one. But I guess I do have some certain questions about medication for ocd though? (Also I’m sorry if these are obvious answers) 1. Does medication stop you for having compulsions, rumination, etc.? 2.What were some positive or negative symptoms you had with certain medications? 3. Were you still uncomfortable with doing ERP while you were on meds? Again, I’m really sorry if these answers are obvious 😭. God Bless! 💛

I’m 24M and have been dealing with what I was diagnosed with as hocd for almost 5 years. Before this started around 19, I was completely convinced I was straight. I had crushes on girls, got nervous and excited around attractive women, had sexual thoughts and wet dreams about women, wanted a wife and kids, and never questioned my sexuality. I also remember being attracted to small things like a woman’s expressions, perfume, mannerisms, etc. I had basically never considered that I could be attracted to men. Then around 19, I suddenly became terrified that I might be gay. I started checking myself constantly and eventually started watching gay porn specifically to see if I would react. Over time, I began experiencing strong physical and emotional reactions toward men, and eventually those reactions started feeling very natural rather than just anxiety. At the same time, my attraction toward women seemed to disappear almost completely. I can talk to women normally, but when I try to see if I’m attracted to them, I often feel nothing or even repulsion. I don’t understand how I went from being so naturally attracted to women to feeling this way. The hardest part is that I don’t just have groinal responses I feel genuine attraction toward men, including fantasies, emotional feelings and wanting physical closeness. Sometimes I even feel relief when I think “maybe I really am gay,” which then makes me question whether the OCD is even involved anymore. Then the doubt comes back and I start analyzing everything again. My therapist believes I have OCD and recently told me to stop checking women, stop using porn as a test, stop putting pressure on myself to feel attraction, and let the whole subject breathe for a long time. She also pointed out that I didn’t start watching gay porn because I naturally wanted to explore being gay I started it specifically because I was afraid I might be gay and wanted to check. She thinks I need to stop trying to solve the question. I’m struggling because I understand the OCD explanation intellectually, but emotionally I keep thinking, “How could OCD make me feel this different for almost 5 years?” I’m not looking for someone to simply tell me I’m straight. I genuinely want to hear from people who experienced a major change in how attraction felt, especially people who had strong attraction to women before hocd and later felt strong attraction toward men. Did anyone else experience this kind of dramatic before and after and eventually understand what was happening?

So my mind is still on this same problem; it's been a week now. I have a huge fear of going crazy, whether it be psychosis or schizophrenia. This started when I had little to no sleep. It was 4 a.m., and I couldn't sleep, so I decided to masturbate so I could sleep. That didn't help. I already had weird thoughts that made no sense, lots of anxiety, and this head pressure. When I turned to my right side on the pillow, I said in my head, “I knew I was gonna feel better,” and then I got a thought that said, “You're welcome,” in a Russian accent while I was sleeping. It was so random, but unfortunately, at the time, my brain was looking for something to worry about. At first, I found the thought strange. Then another thought came: What if the thought came from something else? Obviously, that's ridiculous, and I tried joking about it and tried to sleep, but then a huge wave of anxiety hit. I got up, went to the bathroom, and said to myself, “Do I believe this?” I said no. I knew I hadn't gotten any sleep; I was very anxious, and I had racing thoughts. I've had hypnagogic hallucinations before, and at the time this happened, I forgot about them. But, to tell you the truth, I don't know where this “You're welcome” thought came from other than my mind. Of course, anything outside of that is just delusional. Now, my biggest fear is that I believe some lady was communicating with me; see how crazy that sounds. Logically speaking, I know this is 1. It was just a random thought, and my OCD misinterpreted it as a crazy "what if," but has anyone ever had this before, or something similar? I just want to know I'm not alone, pls.

I feel shameful for things I did in college 7 years ago. I’m getting married in two months, and want to confess to my partner things I did in college from my intimate past (before I was dating him). It’s things from my intimate past that I keep thinking “my fiance would hate knowing this about me. I can’t believe I did that) This is a horrible feeling. Should I confess? I feel like he doesn’t know the “real” me from these things…

TW if sex talk makes you uncomfortable... Yesterday was a struggle and today has been even worse... Yesterday, I noticed a huge difference in my arousal. My body isn't reacting the same or doing the things it can normally do. I had my antidepressants doubled a few months ago because I was going through a terrible time (right before DX). I've had these issues with SSRI's before so I touched base with my psychiatrist about going back to my regular dose since I feel like I am doing better mood wise. I didn't have these issues before upping my dose. She said it is "highly unlikely" that my SSRIs are affecting my sex life. I'm like jfc. Start downward spiral. I start Googling it and the medication I'm on may affect things like arousal and climax, which is what I'm experiencing. I decided to send a message back and be more specific in my concerns...but the damage was already done. Uncontrollable anxiety all day... I've felt on edge and like near a breakdown all day. I can't get it out of my head and the ROCD is in full effect. I just want to cry. The other day I was thinking how this hasn't shown it's ugly head in a while and I'm making it all up...then today was just absolutely unbearable. I got relief talking about it and legit deep cleaning my fridge. I know that's not what I'm supposed to do but there feels like there is something so fundamentally wrong with me. Am I doomed to be like this forever.

Hey, so um, before I say anything, I’d like to say that if you get seriously triggered by mentions of abuse, do what’s best for you even if that means not reading this, your mental health matters. Anyways, idk why but over the past few months whenever I hop on sites like Instagram or Facebook for example, I get these vey graphic, violent and disturbing things that pop up on my feed as petitions to sign for to help fight injustice and cruelty. The message is good but they can get specific with what is happening like @n!mal @buse and sexu@l @ssault (I didn’t know if saying those words outright would trigger anyone so I tried), and it makes me spiral and have panic attacks with flooding intrusive thoughts, especially when it involves cruelty to animals and children. A part of me wants to block those ads entirely from my phone but my ocd is telling me that if I do that, I’m just as guilty as those awful people and turning a blind eye, so I try to not throw up after reading those things and sign the petitions. The thing is though, more and more pop up and it’s almost always worst than the last one. It’s at a point now where my family, friends and bf are worried about me and tell me not to engage but my mind won’t stop saying that may make me the equivalent of an abuser too or just a disgusting human being who doesn’t care about others if I skip whatever ad or petition pops up describing those things. Deep down I know it’s just my insecurities and fears getting to the better of me but a part of me can’t just handle this and I feel really bad about that, especially since it hurts me so much to see others suffer and I do want to help, even if it’s just a little bit. Anyone have any tips on how to handle this situation? I’m so so sorry if anyone is triggered and I wish you all an amazing and blessed day ❤️