It’s near the tenth anniversary of when I saw my dad die, I can’t get the intrusive thoughts out of my head of him dying. Before today I was awake for 48 hours straight. God I just feel so exhausted.
I had the exact same intrusive thought about my dad too, I know exactly how you feel and man is it awful. Today that Intrusive thought no longer bothers me and hardly even pops up in my head now. Your dad was obviously someone significant to you! I used to also remind myself of the times my dad was happy and imagine that as well, but definitely easier said than done. Emdr has also helped me in the past with things related to trauma, maybe that is something to consider? I wish you the absolute best!
@Jennaffuur I’m glad you’ve been able to get to that point. Again I’m still new to this so hopefully as I work more towards my mental health goals I’ll be able to be more stable.
Have you looked into trauma therapy? You might very much benefit from it since that can be considered very traumatic and OCD plays off that.
@Nica I’d definitely be open to it. I just had my first session today so I’ll bring that up during my next one next week.
You are so loved by him. You are loved by all of us.
Hey, I’m so sorry your going through this. OCD is so unfair and it’s debilitating on its own I can’t imagine it being mixed with what you have lived through. I recommend you give magnesium a try. I have been taking it for 5 days now and my ocd thoughts have decreased drastically. I discovered giving magnesium a try off of a forum of women who had heightened intrusive thoughts with their cycles. Do some research on it but it wouldn’t hurt to take. Also really recommend getting trauma therapy. Maybe one that works with ocd as well. Life is so difficult and I really hope this helps and that things get better soon ❤️🩹
@ Skyline 🕊️ Thanks for your kind words, yeah I’m gonna bring up trauma therapy in my next session because my therapist said I might also have PTSD. And I’ll give magnesium a try thanks 🙏 hope you’re having a good day
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and I’m hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldn’t be sexualized out of anxiety. I’m ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I don’t want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and it’s driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them I’m scared of compulsions, I’m scared of thoughts, I’m scared to be awake, I’m even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. I’m exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isn’t feeling any less severe and it’s been months. I don’t want to keep questioning my every move but I’m so hyperaware of everything I do. I’m so tired. Some days I don’t even have tears to cry with. I’m just so full of despair and shame
does anyone else get really vivid intrusive thoughts of the person who you are talking to (or close to physically) just randomly striking you violently? i keep getting them when i’m just talking to my dad one on one in the car & i get a flash of intrusive thoughts of him grabbing my hair & shoving my face in the dashboard. it gets me so anxious :’)
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