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So I feel like a horrible wife and I’ll explain why. Last night, my husband and I went out to eat with some friends and he drank more than usual (nothing wrong with that) but he was being extra loud and obnoxious in my opinion than normal so I was getting kind of aggravated with him but I always try to just let him have his fun and not be a Debbie downer because he works so hard and he deserves to let loose. So I didn’t make it known I was aggravated but I was getting annoyed with him. When we got home, he tried to initiate sex with me and I said “I’m not really in the mood.” He looked shattered. And I immediately regretted saying that. He wasn’t mad, just hurt as I have never said anything like that or rejected him. So in turn, I am now shattered knowing that I hurt him and made him feel unwanted. I HATE myself for making him feel that way, especially because I have voiced that I would hate to feel rejected by him which is partially why I don’t ever initiate. And he called me out (rightfully so) about it being hypocritical that the reason I don’t initiate is because of my fear of rejection and now I just did that to him. He’s absolutely right. Where I am struggling today is just feeling like I am the absolute worst person ever and my rumination is stuck on he deserves better than me, because I fully believe he does. But this is causing self doubt and all the things that come along with rumination. This is not my typical OCD thought but now even talking to him I feel like I’ve crushed him and I’m disgusted with myself if I’m being honest. And he has told me that he’s fine and he’s just happy that I heard him out on his frustrations and apologized. He was over it about 20 minutes after it happened but here I am still stuck and I can’t stop crying. Idk what to do. Just hoping for any advice on how to get out of my own way here.

Hi everyone. I need some guidance on how to navigate my feelings the right way? Or if there is anyway I can calm down tonight? For Context. My sister a few years ago. Sort of catfished me? Pretended to be someone else to be my friend. I didn’t have friends and so she pretended to be some guy to be a friend to me. But I randomly thought one day. What if he isn’t real and it was her. I thought it was my OCD. But I eventually got her to admit it. I never called or FaceTimed this person or spoke to them in person. Fast forward, she introduced me to another friend. This friend seems real given the fact they have multiple social media’s that go back a long time. Consistent photos. And most importantly. I have called them, FaceTimed once I think. And have played video games with them. But I have never met them in person. Today we went to their work to just say hi and leave. Thing is. We didn’t see them there. Couldn’t find them anywhere. And I felt that knot in my stomach. Has she somehow lied to me again? How could she have done all this. They have to be real, right? I have played games with them. Called them with my sister right next to me. I felt and still feel sick. I doubted myself last time. Thought of all the stuff that made the other person real just to find out my sister faked them. But I don’t know if she could fake all this or how she could. Regardless. I feel sick. And suspicious of her. And I hate feeling like this. This friend said they would come out drinking with us tomorrow so we can meet in person for the first time. Guess I’ll see if they turn up. But I just don’t know. I feel like I’m being crazy. I have spoken and FaceTimed them I’m pretty sure. Definitely played video games with them. But. I guess I’m anticipating the sadness I’ll feel if it turns out my sister is pretending to be yet another one of my friends somehow.. and that a person I saw as a friend just doesn’t fucking exist again.. so yeah. Guess I’ll see tomorrow? I don’t know. Anyway. This has put a spanner in my day/ night. And I wish I could stop thinking of it but I can’t.. please help me find some clarity guys :(

🔴Explain metacognition and how does it correlate to ocd if it does That's a great question - and actually a very deep one. 🔵Metacognition means "thinking about hinking." It's your ability to notice, reflect on, and evaluate your own thoughts, beliefs, and mental processes. For example, if you catch yourself thinking "Why do I keep worrying about this?" or "Is this thought realistic?" — that's metacognition in action. It involves two key parts: 1. Metacognitive knowledge: What you know about your thinking — e.g., "I tend to overanalyze situations." 2. Metacognitive regulation: How you manage your thinking — e.g., "I'll stop ruminating and distract myself." How metacognition relates to OCD ... OCD isn't just about intrusive thoughts — it's also about how people relate to and interpret those thoughts. That's where metacognition comes in. Many researchers (especially Adrian Wells and others who developed the metacognitive model of OCD) believe that OCD symptoms are maintained by dysfunctional metacognitive beliefs - not just the thoughts themselves. Here's how that looks: 1. Intrusive thought appears: Everyone gets random thoughts (like "What if I swerve off the road?"). 2. Metacognitive interpretation: In OCD, the person might believe "Having that thought means I'm dangerous," or "If I think it, it could happen." These are metacognitive beliefs - beliefs about the meaning and power of thoughts. 3. Attempts to control thinking: Because the person believes their thoughts are dangerous or revealing, they try to suppress, neutralize, or analyze them - leading to compulsions, reassurance-seeking, or rumination. Ironically, these efforts strengthen the obsession by giving it more importance and attention. Common metacognitive distortions in OCD • Thought-action fusion: Believing thinking something is morally or practically equivalent to doing it. • Thought control beliefs: Believing you must control or eliminate certain thoughts to stay safe or good. • Overimportance of thoughts: Thinking that having a bad thought says something true about who you are. • Need for certainty: Believing you can't rest until you're 100% sure about something. Why understanding this helps Modern therapies like Metacognitive Therapy (MCT) or ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) both target this metacognitive layer - not the content of the thought itself, but how you relate to it. They teach that: • Intrusive thoughts don't have inherent meaning. • You can observe them without engaging. • Trying to control thoughts actually keeps OCD going. So, in short: OCD isn't just a "thought problem" — it's a metacognitive problem about how you interpret, react to, and try to manage those thoughts. Would you like me to explain how metacognitive therapy specifically uses this understanding to treat OCD? It ties directly into learning how to step back from obsessive loops. 🔴Yes 🔵Perfect - this is where it gets really interesting (and often very freeing for people with OCD). Metacognitive Therapy (MCT) was developed by psychologist Adrian Wells, and it focuses not on what you think (the intrusive content), but on how you think about thinking - your relationship to your thoughts. The Core Idea In MCT, the problem isn't the intrusive thoughts themselves — it's the metacognitive processes you use in response to them. For example: • Thought: "What if I accidentally hurt someone?" • Traditional reaction: "Oh no, why did I think that? I need to make sure I never do." • MCT view: The problem isn't the thought - it's your belief that the thought is meaningful or dangerous. So instead of analyzing or neutralizing the thought, MCT helps you step out of that mental struggle entirely. The Metacognitive Model of OCD According to Wells, OCD persists because of something called the Cognitive Attentional Syndrome (CAS) — a pattern that keeps the obsession alive: 1. Worrying, analyzing, and ruminating about the thought 2. Focusing attention inward (monitoring for danger, checking how you feel) 3. Doing rituals or compulsions to get certainty or relief Each time you engage in this loop, your brain learns, "This thought must matter - keep paying attention to it." MCT works by breaking this loop. § What MCT Actually Teaches Here's what therapy focuses on: 1. Detached Mindfulness You learn to notice thoughts without reacting. Instead of asking, "What does this mean?" you practice thinking, "That's just my brain producing noise." You don't try to control or push thoughts away - you let them exist without judgment or response. 2. Changing Metacognitive Beliefs You challenge and test the "rules" your brain has been following, like: • "If I think it, it might happen." • "If I don't control my thoughts, I'll lose control!" • "I have to be certain before I can move on." Through behavioral experiments and guided exercises, you learn those beliefs aren't actually true. 3. Reducing Mental Rituals Instead of replacing or analyzing thoughts, MCT teaches you to drop the strategies that feed OCD - like mental checking, reassurance-seeking, or endless "what if" reasoning. This feels uncomfortable at first, but it's what allows the anxiety to fade naturally. Difference Between MCT and ERP • ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention): You expose yourself to the trigger and prevent the compulsion. • MCT: You focus less on the trigger and more on your thinking style — learning that thoughts are harmless mental events. They actually complement each other: ERP changes behavior; MCT changes how you relate to the mind itself. Why It Helps OCD Specifically People with OCD often have high metacognitive awareness — they notice and think about their own thoughts a lot. MCT helps channel that awareness in a healthier direction, teaching you to watch thoughts like passing clouds rather than threats you need to analyze. When practiced consistently, people often find: • Fewer compulsions and less rumination • Less urgency to "figure things out" • More comfort with uncertainty • Quicker recovery from intrusive spikes

A couple of weeks ago I had to do an assignment involving more than one person. And ever since I realized I did a project/assignment wrong and had to do it again and quick as it was a day before thanksgiving break, keep in mind I have no access to the assignment after class I forgot to add the name of one of the people who designed one of the pictures in the project my brain has been spiraling like crazy. All week during thanksgiving break I’ve been thinking about it constantly over and over again. Then after I added the name of the designer and turned it in i remembered that the project will be printed and possibly published online if it’s good enough and the teacher talked about a border that will be around the assignment and to make sure to make the project fit. My brain started tweaking out telling me that the name won’t be there and I’ll be accused of plagiarism. I constantly asked the teacher questions about the assignment throughout the week. After I asked the teacher about the printing she showed me how she’d print it and that she moved the name. But then my brain spiraled out later in another class telling me that what about if she publishes another part of the project online months later, (the one that she chose not to print but can still technically be published online if she thinks it’s good enough). I then asked her about it again. She said she that if anything related to online publishing it’ll will be in months. Then I asked her again when she wasn’t as busy about what if there was a border hypothetically and it covered the name of the person who made the picture, would you edit it and she said yes. Now currently my brain annoyed me once again telling me what if the border is too small for her to notice the name of the creator of the picture being covered by it and she publishes it without double checking and you get in trouble or accused or plagurism. These thoughts feel genuine and that I have to keep asking. I told the teacher about my ocd and constant thoughts and she said I’m allowed to email my instrusive thoughts to her about the assignement even if she may respond late. I wanna do that but if I keep getting reassurance or anything like that it’ll worsen the thoughts. I genuinely don’t know what to do. I’ve talked to my friend who also has ocd about it, he introduced me to this app, I’ve talked to my mom about it, I’ve talked to the teacher about it. These past weeks I’ve been stressed, sleep deprived, I often woke up with my hands shaky, I can’t concentrate on homework, and I keep arguing with these thoughts and losing. Worse of all everytime I’m in the class where I had the project my thoughts are extremely strong. I just want my life back.

i automatically compulsive imagined a trigger se*ually and "attractively". As soon as I saw that i felt automatically instant arousal, not in the groin, but in my mind, as if I experienced attractiveness. As soon as that happened I instantly felt dread and distress, i was panicking, because it happened without my control, automatically. Can someone explain this why and how it happened? And if it's normal. Or if I did something irredimable.

I’ve recently hit a very big milestone with my boyfriend. The problem is my fear happened again, I didn’t enjoy it, and couldn’t feel anything because I’m always subconsciously monitoring everything I feel/don’t feel. TMI but It’s really REALLY hard for me to get turned on and the last time I was FULLY in the mood was a couple years ago when I met up with my ex. But after that It’s never happened again. Extra TMI but I can’t even get aroused to things I used to be aroused by before this theme bc I feel like I’m watching for my reaction. But when it’s things I don’t want to feel any arousal towards I get aroused. Moving on, when I first noticed I had a crush on my current boyfriend 4 months ago, my mind was clear and I wasn’t really checking as much. But, when I noticed my feelings and attraction for him my body went into a “scanning” mode and I felt myself going numb. I would start to check if I found him attractive every time I saw him, if I still felt the same way the day I realized I thought he was cute, or if I was still excited about calling him. There’s times where him and I kiss and I’m fully present and enjoy it. But when I notice I start to focus on it again and I start to feel nothing. The best way I can describe it is there is a mini me in the back of my head watching everything I feel. Everything I think, feel, and dont feel is always being “watched” and I don’t know how to stop it. I miss being fully present when I’m with him because I finally felt the things that have been “shut off” ever since this theme started when I was 15. The more I subconsciously monitor the less I feel for him and I hate it.Im trying really hard not to ruminate on my lack of strong feelings, attraction, and libido when I come back from dates with him now. It really sucks because in the beginning of the relationship I was so happy about finally feeling attraction and emotions again. This is so annoying and I really hope someone can relate 😭. I need tips please.

Ive been thinking a lot abt what happened still w last post i made on here ,and I also have had some stuff happen for an update. Summarizing my last post really briefly, I found out a friend had unadded me and softblocked me on everything whilst I was already very paranoid that my friends did not like me. When I asked about it I was told that it was because 'our communication styles clash/ different kind of autistics' and it wasnt my fault. When first discovering they had done this (unadded/softblocked me on everything suddenly) I tried to handle this well,but I got very very paranoid and frantic,and I asked them if it was ok to re-add me and I asked if they were upset w me bc they did not do this to anyone else in the server ,which i think bothered this person and I should not have done (i was added back for a little while but eventually unfriended again) it was the next day after all this happened I was told that this friend felt pressured when I came to them about this,and though I also apologized for this i cant stop thinking abt it. Lastly was the fact there was an incident a few weeks ago where this person felt I was derailing convos,again this was something I apologized for,but I cant stop thinking abt it and if it played a part. I feel really guilty and like I keep fucking up,and im still quite scared everyone is going to leave me.

I recently have been diagnosed with OCD at the age of 28. I spent my life dealing with obsessive thoughts and habits I didn't know it wasn't normal. Anyway, I am having trouble dealing with my triggers and one of them being my brain convinces me that if I tell anyone about what my OCD thought is, it for sure will come true. Even typing this post is making my heart rate go up thinking me even posting this is going to lock things in. I have tried medication and talk therapy, sadly they didn't help. My therapist just kept saying "get over it", and I so desperately wish I could. So if you have any tips or ways around this please share. Thank you so much.

Hey so I don’t actually have ocd but I’m trying to understand my girlfriend better to be there for her in actual helpful ways, and I think she might have ocd and talking with her she thinks she might to. She is a huge perfectionist and definitely a germaphobe, as well as some sensory issues. She also has some things that seem like compulsions, she’ll feel like she needs to squeeze her fingers and hands, sometimes picking at them even if there’s not like dry skin or anything to pick at, and sometimes she’ll even feel like she needs to like rub them across something spiky or just a very specific surface but its not always the same. She also feels the need to have her whole body squeezed when she’s really stressed, almost like she wishes she was in a hydrolic press, so really really tight hugs or things like that help but I think that might just be a different thing and not ocd. She also has a weird feeling that makes her not want to kiss(as well as intimacy) and she struggles explaining what it is like. She really didnt want to kiss me for a while but she thought that it was just because of past experiences that were bad but then we finally kissed and she said she felt almost panic but different. I really care about her but this block making it so she cant kiss has recently made some bumps in our relationship. I would like to kiss her but I would rather have her happy so it’s fine, but I know that it affects her not knowing what is wrong and its made some doubts in the relationship. We’ve been able to talk it out and Im being really patient with her, but I want to fully understand her so that I can actually help her Does this sound like ocd? And what can I do to help?

NSFW content warning For the past 3 weeks I’ve been spiralling 24/7 about the years when I was in a long distance relationship with my now husband. I would make a bunch of nsfw photos and videos for him and we would make videos together for when we were apart for a long time. This stopped years ago when we moved in together and we have since deleted the content from anywhere we actively had it stored. My problem is that I’m obsessed with the idea that I could have been hacked somehow and the content could be online without my knowledge. I never had any signs of being hacked or having a virus and I had 2FA on my accounts (most of them at least, I can’t remember exactly it was too long ago), but I had multiple accounts and maybe had some that got abandoned that I don’t have access to. I used to do virus scans and never had a problem with a virus but what if I didn’t realise I had one. I’m also obsessed with the idea that somehow this content could have ended up on someone else in my households devices somehow, thoughts like “what if i shared this folder by mistake” “what if i accidentally put it on an SD card or memory stick”. I’ve been honest with my family about this and I’ve even gone through all the family photos (as best I can, there are thousands and some glitched and were unavailable to view) and found nothing, but I’m scared that there could be stuff on my old laptop hard drives at my parents house and whilst I know they would never snoop I’m scared they could get robbed and the hard drives taken but I don’t know if digging them out and erasing them would be compulsive? I’m also struggling hugely with false memory that has worked its way into this overall fear. What if I recorded something bizarre that I didn’t even send to my husband and don’t remember? Everyone I’ve spoken to including my husband and mom think I am being irrational and say this is my OCD but I am struggling too much to believe there is no real threat so I’m not avoiding my compulsions because my brain is making me feel like this is an active threat. Is ERP even effective for something like this that has basis in reality? I feel like my life is completely over from this fear, sometimes I think I am being irrational to put my life on hold and have it destroyed over something i have no proof of happening but I have considered suicide over this.

I have a a person with a girl child working in my house right now, and when she was here, I was already distressed due to a past event. Her kid came to drop a cloth and told me "work is done" even though her mother had told me the same before. But at the time, I was anxious, and I thought to myself, why did this kid tell me when her mother had already told me. And I assumed the kid just wanted to be friendly, and say something. But then I started to feel weird, I started getting intrusive thoughts of weird nature, that I assumed the kid was interested in me or I'm a weirdo who thinks too much over a simple interaction. Then I realised, the kid probably just wanted to inform me the work is done why did I think she would be friendly, and go out of her way to tell me again, and I have been disgusted at myself due to this, This is not even OCD, this just feels like a weirdo confronting themselves.

i know i have to sit with it and not ask for reassurance but the thing is that i dont know if i deserve to do that. i'd never hurt my cat but still i think i kinda did, because if you lift a cat only by his armpits all the weight of the cat will shift to his armpits causing strain, and my cat on top of that is a but overweigheight (i didnt really know that, but i also knew enough that it wouldn't feel comfortable). i needed to sleep and my cat kept jumping on the bed and being loud, no matter how many times i get him off the bed. i was frustrated. and i lifted him up to get him off the bed without properly supporting his legs, only the armpits, because i was exhausted and also like angry with him so i thought that i shouldn't bother being nice, and i felt horrible. also i heard a voice, which i don't know if it was intrusive or not, telling me "let him be still in air" and i followed that command automatically, it wasn't out of genuine evil or malice, I just listened to see, a self sabotage. "do it" and i immediately did. I felt immediately like i did something unforgivable. I need to study for a very important exam in my life. and this happened like a month ago.

Possible TW I feel like I've been doing a lot better recently with dismissing these intrusive thoughts and even arousal sensations, but unfortunately today I was reading an erotic story on ao3 (for clarification, whenever I use ao3 I ALWAYS purposefully make sure to filter out any of the "underage" tags that are on there so I don't come across any disturbing content), but unfortunately in the middle of the story there was some sort of flashback scene which mentioned that one of the characters had seen the other character masturbating while they were underage. It wasn't exactly graphic, but it was enough to really freak me out. Obviously as soon as I saw this, I left the story immediately, but what bothered is the fact that it seemed to increase my arousal? I don't know if it was just the anxiety, coupled with the fact I was ALREADY aroused due to it being an erotic story, but it's got me quite bothered. I've thought about it several times since, and I keep getting very intense groinal responses/arousal/erection sensations. I want to just dismiss this and move on as another symptom of OCD, but I feel guilty for doing so, like my brain is telling "you can dismiss it so easily/not care about it because you actually DO like it". Is it normal to have these kinds of reactions to this stuff? I know at the end of the day it's am erotic story and it's written to be arousing, but the idea that I could be aroused by something like that really bothers me. I want to believe it was just anxiety, because if I look at it objectively, there's nothing arousing about it. I think it may have just been the shock and taboo of it that caused arousal? But even saying that, my brain is telling me I'm just trying to make excuses about it. :( any input would be appreciated.

Hi there. I am really just looking for anyone who can tell me I’m not alone and maybe not a disgusting, incurable monster. I had this terrible intrusive thought about nine months ago and it’s sent me over the edge. I was spending time with my Fiancé at the time and all of the sudden this thought pops into my head “but he’s not as attractive at your brother”. I was sent into this INSANE spiral and fear about so many things at once. Am I not as attracted to my fiancé as my brother? Am I attracted to my brother?? What does that even mean??? And I can’t get past it, I think, because I know my brother is attractive… beyond all of my friends telling me so my whole life he just has those like “classic” symmetrical features that people consider attractive. So THEN I spiral into, “if I can tell my brother is attractive does that mean I’m attracted to him??” And then I want to crawl into a dark hole and hide forever but I can’t because the person I’m hiding from Is me… if you have any thoughts, advice or solidarity to share I would greatly appreciate… thank you for reading ❤️

OCD can feel so isolating. I understand the need to stop compulsions and not constantly confess. But I find that this has been an extremely lonely process. I’ve been dealing with OCD for several years now and I find that keeping it all to myself feels so “irresponsible”. This is especially true with real event or false memory OCD where I feel like I could have done something wrong but I’m not sure. Many times it feels like I could be hiding something… which triggers the downward spiral of “what ifs”. That being said, when I do share bits and pieces of what I’m dealing with, it may satisfy for a time, but it always comes back. The uncertainty lingers and pain returns. So what to do? Keep it bottled up?? I’m only human and I don’t have a ton of family/friend support right now…my wife is my best friend and the only person I truly rely on. I feel like I’ve let her down. I feel like a failure. On top of that, OCD can make me feel like I’ve harmed those around me. Pls help with your experiences/ thoughts.

18+ please (Mentions of 🌽) I've been having a really annoying pattern of seeing something that triggers my checking compulsion, usually an attractive woman my brain instantly objectifies and sexualises them and I'll usually say something (in my head) like "They're so pretty" to try and stop the objectification sometimes multiple times then I'll go on twitter or instagram (Maybe to do the checking compulsion without realising idk) then I'll see something that triggers my POCD that makes me not want to do the checking compulsion but at the same time reinforces the stress I feel which makes me want to do it to relieve stress (My checking compulsion is sometimes to porn and sometimes I'll destress if you know what I mean) and it's like this balancing act that's really irritating, I'm resisting it now but am not always so good at doing it and it makes me feel bad for giving into the compulsion. Most recently I was just watching a streamer who is an attractive woman (Objectively speaking, I'm fairly certain I'm asexual) and my brain did it's usual routine, then I went on twitter and saw more attractive women but also a Spider-Man comic cover with a character that is supposed to be 16 (and 3 other characters) in a weird situation that I think was trying to imply something sexual? (It was just the characters standing around but that seemed to be what other people where thinking as well). People where rightfully talking about how weird this was and someone posted another panel of the character and they were wearing their costume which is like a skintight black suit and you could see the outline of their butt and it triggered me because I got worried I would sexualise it (Which I think I did by being afraid of that happening) and I double checked to make sure it wasn't sexualising her because that's one of my big fears, I don't think it was but it was certainly a bit weird anyway, I clicked off the post and moved on and saw more attractive women that was again reinforcing the checking compulsion and then a drawing of Batman and Robin and Robin is wearing those really weird shorts and my eyeline went there accidentally and again I think I sexualised it and I just wish my brain wasn't like this (I think I also noticed the artist drew a bulge which weirded me out but I could be wrong)

My ocd keeps telling me that i will make someone pregnant if i dont do the compulsion and i actually fall for it,what can i do? Accepting them is so scary what if someone gets pregnant by me all of a sudden?

real guilt versus ocd guilt (created by ocd worries) or both. I cant figure out if there is really a difference. either way my mistake and then the partial lie about it when I opened up about the mistake is eating away at me. I feel the need to confess even more to my partner, but if I can't recall every fact, will it even help? or will it make us both doubt myself even more. I know I left details out theres no explanation for what I did or why I didnt open up fully about it and now I feel so guilty I cant take it. And all I want to do is tell my partner every single detail and let him decide if he wants to break up or not because if I think about him doing the same thing id be distraught. I dont know what to do. Everytime I begin to think about this I get so deep into the spiral that it feels impossible to do anything. And im alone during the day for the next 4 days while i dont have work and everyone else has work or school. im scared to be alone and im scared to keep living my life if it will always feel like im living a lie. I dont know how to deal with this. I was doing fine and then it all hit me like a truck. I cant stop ruminating and i could really use some effective tips anyone has.

So i have pure O ocd, with rocd. And recently on my 75mg of zoloft, the thoughts have started to spike so bad again. Like in the beginning. Does anyone know what dosage of zoloft has a therapeutic effect. Because my zoloft was working so good on 75 mg, to the point I completely forgot about my thoughts. Then i started talking to a guy i super like. And worried the thoughts would come back./ missed a dose/ so they did. Please all advice!!!

Need to hear the success stories of people who actually conquered their fears, who can actually sit in discomfort and bear the uncertainty without trying to researching for the triggers or outcomes of their assumed fears.Has anyone in this group had actually done that ?? The tips to get over OCD are everywhere available but am looking for someone actually done that successfully.Coz I have almost lost Hope that i can ever recover am fighting with OCD for the past 18 years.