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the NOCD Community

It’s near the tenth anniversary of when I saw my dad die, I can’t get the intrusive thoughts out of my head of him dying. Before today I was awake for 48 hours straight. God I just feel so exhausted.

I’m really hesitating about taking medication, I’ve always been scared of medication used for mental health but my psychiatrist considers that I would benefit from these pills and that they will make my recovery easier. Can you please share your experiences with ocd medication? Has it been helpful? Did it give you some sort of addiction? Secondary effects? Thank you 🙏🏼

Just curious.....how many people who've received their " OCD Conqueror" badge still have regular intrusive thoughts that ramp up their anxiety?

Trying to just allow the thoughts to just happen. Idk what else to do.

Now I feel like one is imminent, I’m starting to really struggle and my anxiety is through the roof. I started Wegovy 4 weeks ago and also switched from combination birth control pill to the mini pill about the same time, I’m wondering if these changes are impacting my mental stability and triggering my OCD. I’m so scared, replaying real event (or false memory) things over and over again in my head again.

I wanted to see if any girlies had a similar experience. I’ve been on the birth control pill (sprintec) for about 9 years now. The onset of my OCD started half way through about year 4. I’m wondering if anyone has ever contributed their onset or symptoms due to birth control? Second question is it seems the longer I am on the pill and experience the week before my period (still in the active pills) the week before the sugar pills i have awful PMS symptoms that exacerbate my pure o harm ocd. I am considering coming off of the birth control as I’ve read several studies that it wrecks your gut health and depletes serotonin levels. Any gals notice their ocd to be worse and less manageable while on the birth control pill? Or anyone who had positive experiences coming off of it?

i constantly say things like under my breath to myself to “neutralize” thoughts and sometimes i even say the thoughts out loud and then i feel contaminated and have to brush my teeth and wash all my items around me. this is a daily occurrence. when i accidentally say things out loud im trying so hard not to say it that sometimes i do. please help

I just went on an internet spiral. Obviously it is one of my compulsions. I was researching about pedos and the criteria. I even went as far to almost sign up for a pedo support group because obviously I was convinced after my research. UGH I knew I was not supposed to do that. I feel worse and better at the same time. I hate myself. I hate this. I was really bad like this in October but I got put on medication and I thought I was getting better then this happened. I hate this. I don’t know who I am. I don’t want to be a pedo but sometimes I think I am in denial. I am so stressed with this and school (it’s mid term season). Literally this is the same time I had a break down last semester. I am seeing a pattern. I hate this I hate myself.

does anyone else deal with the need to tell their parents everything bc if you don’t you feel like they don’t know you? especially if you feel like you’ve done something wrong?

i have two dogs, and i love them both so much. but one of them spends more time with me than the other. but that doesn’t mean i love them less. well i was working with one with training, and my mind was like “you don’t love him, you never loved this dog, you hate him, he sucks” i have never EVER felt this way about him. but now i can’t be near him without thinking i secretly hate him, but i don’t. i love him so much

So I had a good day yesterday but last night and today I've been ruminating over what I could have done better and what I messed up and it's basically ruining my memory of the day by making the less good stuff bigger in my mind than the good stuff. I'll have to bring this up with my therapist but in the meantime, does anyone have any thoughts on how to better focus on the good aspects?

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

I honestly can’t deal with this anymore. I have a 2 year old who needs me, a partner and family who love me. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to leave my family behind. I just wish there was a magical fucking cure to heal me!! I can’t confess anymore because my partner put up his boundaries. And literally drowning in thoughts. I haven’t stopped obsessing about these things for days on end like the whole time I’m awake, till the moment I fall asleep. I never get a break. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m over living a life that doesn’t even feel like I’m living. I’ll probably just be stuck this way forever so what’s the point… I know that sounds selfish but I can’t help my feelings. I cry every day almost. Had a full on mental breakdown today. Feel so fucking bad. Feel so guilty for these thoughts. I literally have been in the backyard screaming like I’m dying over these thoughts for atleast an hour today. My daughter hears all of this from inside. I’m a terrible mum and a terrible partner and a terrible everything. Everyone would be better off without me.

Hey, well, this is my first time ever posting in here but I figured why not? I’ve been struggling with this issue for almost three months now and it’s been a constant battle, I guess I just really need some support, so almost a year ago now, I got in a relationship and I realized I may be Asexual since I didn’t really have any sexual desires towards my partner, starting late November though, I began to have these intrusive images in my head of us having sex. These thoughts have caused me a lot of anxiety and stress as well as depression. It’s weird, I know deep down in my heart I don’t desire any of that with her but the thoughts feel so real at times and sometimes that makes me feel like I want the thoughts. I’m pretty much lost at this point and don’t know if whether it is OCD or if I’m just in denial. The thing is, I don’t want to see her that way, she doesn’t want to ever engage in any sexual activity and I want to respect that and respect the decision we both made to never do so unless it’s to have a baby. I just feel a sense of doom I guess, I’m scared that I might like the thoughts when I don’t want to like them. I’d feel so much guilt if it isn’t OCD and it’s actually me, and the thought of that terrifies me. I hope every day it’s OCD.

i don’t want it to seem like i’m wanting reassurance, because i really don’t. but i was wondering if this is an ocd thing. randomly during the day, i’ll hear something, i wish i could describe it. like i will hyper focus on a sound or the way something was said/pronounced. here’s an example, i closed the fridge, and the way the sound was, i overthink it! i was thinking “why does it sound like that, did i like how it sound, does this sound scare me, why am i overthinking something i never have before” and i do this a lot. just wanting to know if this could be a symptom of ocd. i never used to do this until these last few months. now i over analyze sounds,words,eating,drinking. can’t catch a break 😞

i can’t stop having these thoughts it’s been taking over the past few days and i think i’m having an anxiety attack right now i have these thoughts “what if i don’t make this through this is like an everyday thing”, “what if i hurt myself or what if i want to do it” or it’s like “what if i go grab a knife and do something” and it scares me and it gives me anxiety and i’m scared i just want this to go away i have my thoughts telling me all of this my dad was saying to take me to the hospital if they get worse i didn’t go today because i didn’t want to but it’s 8 pm here and i think i might ask if i could go tomorrow i’m just so tired i want a therapist to talk to right now but my parents are low on money until they get paid on friday and my dad was gonna see if we go to the hospital because they can just get billed it’s like if i get reassurance nothing helps and even if i have a distraction nothing helps it’s like my thoughts continue and it makes me forget things

Does anyone else think of their ocd as like, a separate entity? I do, and I think it’s helped me a lot. I feel like it kind of is a parasite sometimes, especially with intrusive thoughts. What do you guys think?

the past week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life i tried to kms a couple times and i just cut myself really bad but what caused this all is my mind saying ive done something wrong even though i haven’t. I’ve asked many people they said i haven’t done anything wrong i even asked my parents and i know the answer but my body can’t seem to accept it. There’s genuinely something so wrong with me and i’m so tired of living.

I found out my mom was molested by her dad when she was little. My parents got a divorce when I was a teen and my grandpa became like my dad. He was a well respected man and he was a little weird but I chalked it up to him just being a dirty old man (when he would joke about things). My mom started having flash backs later in life and blocked them out. I was so sad to know this happened to her and that it happened at the hands of some I loved and trusted. Now I want to be a mom but I am afraid of someone hurting my kids. My grandpa has passed away but I have OCD and my intrusive thoughts are: what if someone I love and trust does this to my kids? I love and trust my husband and he is an amazing guy for an example but I over analyze things like the dog sitting on his lap and stuff like that. We talked about me going to therapy and my husband said hell come with me but I keep having bad experiences with therapists so I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me? I want to be a good mom and let the past go but im worried im going to overanayalze everything and that scares me because my friends, family, and husband don’t deserve me thinking horrible things

Hello, I'm new here. I went through a really intense and traumatic breakup about a year ago and I'm currently working with my university for a SA/Title IX case against him as he was abusive in varying ways and very manipulative. I have the need to check and search the parking lots, the spaces around me, etc.. for him and his very distinct car frequently. It's been getting a lot better as I'm seeking therapy and back on medications. But some days I still have frequent urges to check, I feel like if I don't check, then something bad is going to happen. Aka, I'll run into him, and I fear he'll hurt me or say something to purposefully distress me. I get incredibly nauseous, panicked, obsessive overthinking if I don't which doesn't allow me to be present and learn in classes. Something that has helped me cope is having headphones and sticking to a strict routine and limiting my time on campus.