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I feel like a p because my little brother was telling his friend that I had a hand a game called slap battles and I was happy to join the game it’s like why do I feel happy because of that I remember I use to help people get badges for the game and this one kid who I would always help and I would join to play with him and he was telling me he’s from this country and he was 8 or something and I feel like a p because of that thank God he unfriend me because till this day I think about it and if he was still my friend I don’t think I would sleep at night thinking if I said or did something wrong in the game Like he asked one day how old I was and I didn’t want to tell him but I think back at it and I’m just like did I not want to tell him because I wanted to do something or I didn’t tell him because I wanted to fit in? I feel so bad when my brother friends friended me and I don’t friend them back because I know what rejection is like and I’m not trying to be mean but I just won’t sleep at night thinking about if I did something I just get upset It’s so upsetting and it makes me want to cry

Does anyone have any tips on how to sleep with harm ocd, I’m always so tired but I can’t fall asleep until it gets to the point my eyes won’t stay open, I’m scared that I’m gonna do something in my sleep or my thoughts just eont shut up and it causes issues with sleeping, advice needed please

*Trigger Warning: Work, Mistake, Harm, Real Event* Afraid to post this… One of the worst theme I've ever had is the fact that I made a mistake at work many years ago and will not be able to find out if anyone was harmed. My brain takes the worst-case scenario as reality (which is so painful), and researching has only led to more panic. I have been thinking about this incident for about a year now and am filled with fear and guilt. Is there anyone here with similar experiences or tips that could help? I would be grateful for any response...

I have faith in every single one of you. I have had some of the toughest subtype you could ever go through, and I thought my life would be over. I know and understand how hard it is to handle. I still deal with it now, but I can manage it alot better. When they say the only way is through, it's true. You must believe in yourself. OCD only wants control. They should have called it "The Controlling Disorder". Life is unpredictable, unexpected, and especially uncontrollable. Each subtype that we deal with, we feel that we have to have the most control over. When we learn to let go of that control and accept the possibility, not the probability, it does get easier. Stay strong and keep moving forward!

I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.

I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’ve lost so much weight due to this mental illness. I sleep 18 hours a day to escape these thoughts. I grieve my old self so much. I miss crushing on men, I miss loving men, I miss dressing up nice and get compliments from men, I miss listening to music and daydream about my dream man. I miss wanting to get married and have my own kids with my dream husband. All of those things… I’ve desired them so much and I’ve daydreamed about them so much. My OCD is telling me that it’s all fake. I miss my old desire and love for men. I’m so tired of being alive. I’m so tired of seeing multiple posts where people who apparently suffered from SOOCD became their fears. I’m so tired. Cause y’all probably didn’t even have ocd in the first place idc. I will say it again, has it been someone with pocd or harm ocd and their obsessions/fears became true NONE of y’all would’ve had the same reaction. Stop normalizing soocd obsessions becoming true. It is someone’s worst nightmare. People are out here attempting because of it.

I've been told a lot that in order to get better, we need to tolerate uncertainty, which yea I get that and I'm trying every day more and more to reach that point!! But I've also been told that we need to tolerate uncertainty AND "our worst fears becoming true". Like how does that work, especially with POCD, OCD about a///ault, SA and all of that? Like that is really difficult for me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to just shrug stuff like that off

I don’t know what to do with this bs anymore. I’m crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. I’ve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and it’s so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I don’t want it to be the truth. I don’t want to accept any possibility.

Like always, porn has been a problem and I spent the entire night watching it. I feel tons of shame for things I've seen without intending to see, and I feel shame about struggling with it altogether. I kind of feel like crying but not that much. I'm just trying my absolute best to practice acceptance and not judge myself. I'm just trying to see this as a problem that others struggle with as well and not put myself down for it over and over again. I know that doesn't help in the long run, but it's hard not to feel that way.

Is it okay to use "I am" statements when intrusive thoughts come up? I'm afraid of telling myself the wrong things and it becoming a compulsion. If anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it! 🤍

I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I've spent the morning crying, and I feel like I don't deserve to. I feel like I'm a horrible person or a... you know. I'm so sick of this. I'm just so tired of everything. I don't see my psychiatrist until two weeks from now. How am I going to make it till then? :( Even writing this post, I feel like I'm deceiving everyone and that I'm actually a monster. I'm so convinced of this right now. I don't know what to do. I was literally okay a few days ago. I don't even know what's real and what's not, like... I think I do? But everything is so distorted. I can't stop replaying memories trying to figure things out. I really need my psychiatrist right now. I feel like I need to confess, like I've been trying so hard not to, but every person I see, I just keep thinking about how badly I want to ask them if I'm a bad person or not, and that makes me feel worse. A good person wouldn't feel the need to ask that over and over again, would they? What if I'm just seeking validation because I can't accept that?

I genuinely can't help but feel irredeemable over every little mistake made or regret I've had. It's so up and down, but I just miss the certainty. Knowing "this is who I am." I'm so disconnected from myself. Like, I'm really, really trying. Today is really rough... I got triggered the other night, and it's been hell since. I've been fighting seeking reassurance. I want it so, so incredibly bad, but I know it won't help me :( Some days, I just don't want to be here. It's funny because yesterday I felt amazing until I got triggered. I just immediately spiraled after that. I don't know. Does it genuinely get better? Will therapy really help me? Sometimes, I think maybe this is the best it'll get, and that scares me. Sorry for the vent. I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly anxious right now. I can't even cry (due to Zoloft). It feels claustrophobic somehow, having all these emotions trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go 😭

hi! i was wondering if anyone here began treatment using sertraline and then got off of it later? im just curious about other people's experiences using if for their ocd and if they eventually got off of it or are just taking it indefinitely. Thanks!!

Hey guys recently I been facing anxiety because I have a fear that I acted on something I know I didn't do but it feels real because it felt like I had attraction and arousal to a younger photo of a ex gf I feel so weird feel so anxious I need help Idk what to do

Today marks my third day on 150 mg of Sertraline, and I've been noticing some symptoms or issues that could be related? I'm wondering if anyone else deals or has dealt with something similar? I've been having really vivid dreams and nightmares, and when I wake up from them, I'm DRENCHED in sweat. Like absolutely soaked. But besides that, I'm extremely anxious. Even the dreams I can't remember leave me feeling off, and then I spiral wondering what they were about. Then there's not being able to cry? I'm not incapable of feeling emotion, but the tears feel trapped, and I just get nauseous if anything. There's been a couple of times where I've been able to cry, but it's like on and off 😭 Oh, and the last thing is constantly feeling hot? Like my face will feel flushed, but the rest of my body is a normal temperature. It's weird🧍‍♀️

I bought some books on OCD because I like education and would like to know a little more behind why I feel or think this way. I opened up to my mom about this and she keeps saying I’m obsessed with having OCD, she doesn’t actually believe I have it, and that I forced myself to have those thoughts. She then told me she’s going to ask her mental health provider (she’s a nurse) if you can give yourself a mental illness because she said there’s no way someone could spiral out of control within a few days the way I did.

Help please I went to tell my little brother that the giant Uno cards was in the closet and for a second I looked at his butt and it felt like I looked at it with desire Because I was smiling and went to look at his butt and my eyes went up so that means I was looking at him up and down with desire? This is why sometimes I feel like it’s P

Is it possible to follow Christ without actually believing? I want God but don't always trust and especially with Jesus/Christianity. I want to believe and I don't but I am still drawn in; it is comforting and compelling. I like what Jesus represented, I like the teachings (although don't always seem practical and seemingly so hard to live up to), and I LOVE Christian music. I love the community. It is so hard to embrace it really and it although gives me comfort brings on a lot of anxiety and confusion. I feel like I have no control to function when I am supposed to let myself be led; I don't even know what that means when I have to think and move my body to live. I want to have a strong faith in God in general without feeling condemned. I want to feel there is a God holding on to me so I don't feel so alone, restless, and lost. Who better to love than your creator? Who better to put your trust in to help you in times of despair. I cant help to think that the Bible is a myth and although if Jesus did exist was only a prophet. My conditioning and impulses are constantly rejecting it and so many times I opened myself up only to quit the next day because it doesn't stick. I am constantly met with rejecting thoughts and fear. It's not sustainable. At the same time, I love him and his story well I only read a little of the Bible and intended to sermons, etc. Another thing, how do I know what is the truth when I am getting interpretations of the Bible when reading, listening to others interpretations through pastoral sermons and other people voicing their opinion?

I wanted to ask if it is possible to purposely think of an intrusive thought and then shifting your mind instantly to something else? Is it still an intrusive thought if you have been thinking of it 'purposely' for a second? I dont know how else to explain it, but it felt like I was purposely thinking of it. Anyone else had similar experience what happened during intimate moments like masturbation I feel so ashamed cuz the thoughts are so bad they're either about family members children and stuff like that it feels like I think it I just want to know if I'm not alone I feel like a monster because it feels like I thought these things or like I did think these things and I don't know what to do I feel so ashamed and grossed I need help I just want to know if anyone had a similar experience to shed light on because I don't know I feel so isolated

I have to be alone with my children tomorrow and I'm scared. Harm OCD has me panicking and ruminating. I don't want to hurt my babies they mean everything to me. I keep fighting for them, I got a better job for them and I want to create a better life for them. I'm so afraid that I might hurt them so I need to be away from them but I also don't want to be away from them. The thoughts and images are so much. I'd rather die before I hurt them. Accepting the uncertainty of possibly hurting them is not something I can accept or live with. And it doesn't help having existential ocd because that says none of it matters anyway. I just want to be the old me, I hate this disorder I hate this disease I hate me for having these thoughts. I'm sorry for ranting. I just need to get it out. I hate this worry disorder!