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Does anyone with rabies ocd overthinking every little pinching feeling or even stepping outside

Hey y'all, i hope everyone's doing okay. I remember posting here about thoughts that felt gut wrenching and so urgent but lately i feel like ive learnt to live with ocd and have it under control. Of course there are some bad moments but not that often anymore. And i don't know but this has been on my mind lately. I feel like... Because i dont feel the presence of OCD on the surface as it used to be, it feels... as if I'm not that different anymore? Is that normal? I don't even know how this thought makes me feel. I just feel like im in a void right now. It feels very different from back then, but i also don't feel like a different person. Just as if the disability gave me a differentness as if i was more special back then. But I know myself how bad things used to be to the point that i wanted to off myself. It was so scary. Some thoughts still make me wanna just... Get out of my body. But when i remember my past obsessions, i think like, yeah it was nonsense that i was going crazy over that. But it's almost as if this feeling of "not feeling special enough" is a bit upsetting? Well i know ocd is very much present in my life. Even when im writing this theres a disturbing thought in my head telling me that what im writing here right now is exaggerated. I know its present in my daily life, my conversations and most of the stuff. I also remember that I used to not want to get medicated because i was scared of getting better. I don't know anymore. Id like some of you guys's opinions. Thank you

I have been suffering from intense intrusive thoughts for quite some time now. The usual theme is me being socially unacceptable somehow. People will exclude me, hate me, be annoyed of me, disgusted by me, etc... My mind shows me very vivid pictures and stories where on each step and scene I am doing the most cringe, awfully disgusting, hateful, horrible, creepy thing that will guarantee people will hate and avoid me either consciously or subconsciously at best. This can be a one time sudden blow -- a thought that appears as a "woosh" out of no where and is absolutely terrifying. Or it can be a long ride where I do unacceptable things subtle-ly and it all compounds and climaxes. This causes me immense stress, panic and fear -- and that is an understatement: I am dying. I also have thought contamination -- Everything I /do/say/think/ is contaminated by a thought that somehow translates my actions in the present into some social scenario where it is one of the worst things to do at the moment. This all makes me avoid basically any social setting that is not purely professional -- which is most of the color in life. Though I understand how any theme of OCD can be really difficult to deal with, I sometimes believe that mine is harder to deal with because it involves future and social scenarios: future is uncertain and as a human I will have to socialize. I know that is probably not true and at the end of the day it is OCD and we are all feeling that dying feeling by either one theme or another. I wanted to know what "flavor" of OCD is this? Are you experiencing the same theme? What helped you deal with it?: If you have some niche knowledge or insight please share... Thank you for your time. That was it. Have a wonderful day though I can't have mine :(...

Some years ago, I picked up a theme. It’s about peeing before bed time The most natural thing we do without thinking about it. Unfortunately, for me, I now stress about peeing and making sure I empty my bladder before I go to bed. But I know it’s my brain tricking my body that I have to pee at the moment I lay down. It’s absolutely horrible and what makes it worse is that I keep pushing every time I have to pee even though I’m done I keep push pushing and push pushing until I feel like I am completely done Now I feel like I’ve weakened my you know what. Maybe it’s my age I’m 39. I noticed that when I drink carbonated water, it irritates my bladder so I try to not drink it so much but I just hate how frustrating this is that I avoid bedtime and I procrastinate and it’s 5 AM and I didn’t want to deal with it earlier so now I’m dealing with it and I have to learn to just have a stable bedtime so I can take care of this earlier. I’m laying in bed and I really want to go pee again. Does anybody else struggle with this?

I’ve had no side effects, positive or negative, to any medication I’ve taken. This includes 80mg of Prozac, 200mg of Zoloft, 60 mg of buspirone, and 10 mg of abilify. My ocd symptoms are bad (my Y-BOCS score was 39), so I’m not sure if the severity is the issue, or if there is another issue. My therapists supervisor thinks something else may be going on because I have had no side effects from 10 mg of abilify. Does anyone have ideas? I read that some people metabolize medications more quickly than others, and I don’t gain weight easily, so maybe that is the problem. It could also be ADHD in addition or the severity of the symptoms, or something else

I am currently on a EMT class. I have tremendous doubts about my abilities. I fear failure and constantly see video like thoughts of my peers and Instructors being disappointed and frustrated with me. I actually ended up going to class, parking car at school and not being able to walk on because I was so afraid of not passing and losing my composure in class. Today I talked to my therapist about how one of my obsessions is being afraid of not knowing which means I might fail. This leads to avoidance. This feels to powerful and it really does feel like I will fail and leave a bad impression on my instructors. Can anybody relate? Please reach out for further details and clarity. I want to hear about others and those with similar experiences.

I’m the only person I’ve met with ocd, but i know a lot of ADHD people. i met back w my therapist again today and we didn’t focus much on ocd. We touched on it a tad but he seems to think a lot of my problems i experience through my day is adhd. At first it made me feel that i was lying about ocd and i was scared. But i do agree it weighs on me heavily. Has anyone treated their adhd at all and it helps w their ocd? We talked about self regulation and it seems to me i need a lot of help with that.

I have a question about my ocd theme. First it started from hocd about 3 weeks ago after a trigger. After educating myself about what it is and how to deal with it, it gradually started to change themes to pocd and harm ocd and none of these themes bother me that much now. The thing is that i spend most of my day thinking about ocd itself. And i cant seem to stop. Any tips on what to do?

First, this is my first post. I am new here. I just had my first meeting with a therapist here. I was watching a video on the NOCD podcast and Dr McGrath mentioned how the idea that being a bad person or rather the uncertainty around it, is foundational to OCD. Speaking for myself, this is absolutely true. I was always a good kid. I was always the “nice” boy. And I had no reason to doubt it. The first time I had a negative and dark intrusive thought about a person, it was horrifying and completely counter factual to who I thought I was. Everything became proof that the nice boy image was a lie. The fact that I kept this to myself instead of talking about it to people who love me is proof that I don’t really love them and worse despise them. During this podcast when the doc spoke about this, I had a memory and a connection I made that I had not made before prior to this. I remembered that a possible source of this anxiety and uncertainty was taught to me by the Christian church at least within the circles I was a part of. One of the concepts that was taught almost on a daily basis was that we are fundamentally wretched human beings. Absolute sinners. Born as enemies of God. Deserving of death. This is the framing for talking about giving your life to Jesus. That if you are - genuinely - repentant, you will be saved from eternal torture. What does it mean to be “genuine”?? There can never be any certainty around something as subjective as that! This idea stuck with me and fed into my OCD over the years. I had just forgotten that it started in church.

hi, i am xian, an 18 years old who is not yet diagnosed with ocd but has been having ocd symptoms for five years now. i started to notice the symptoms when i was in eighth grade, but i didn’t know what it is at that time. back then, i wasn’t taking the symptoms seriously. even after i researched about my situation, i still didn’t think much of it at that time. however, i started to pay a lot more attention to my ocd than ever these past few months and decided that i don’t want to engage with ocd thoughts, do ocd compulsions, and to be at war with my mind all the time anymore. i started researching more about ocd and learned more about it. the more i learned, the more i want to recover. however, what i noticed is that, whenever i try to start my healing journey, my ocd would just worsen. my ocd these past weeks got so bad to the point where i would just spend my entire day doing compulsions, and if i didn’t do any, i would just spend the rest of my day ruminating. ocd affected my mental health badly. whenever i try to analyze my thoughts, i would just get brain fog, and so i do compulsions to regain focus and clarity. however, instead of it removing my brain fog, it would just make it more intense and persistent. at first, the compulsions were like my saviors—giving me relief from the obsessions’ constant attack. but now, whenever i do compulsions, instead of it making me feel better, it would just make me feel worse. an obsession would appear while i am doing compulsions, so it would lead to me doing another compulsion. then again. and again. and again. until the compulsions would just take most of my time. however, i can’t stop myself from doing those because it already became a routine—or a habit—at this point. i know what i should do—to just do nothing and not engage with the obsessions. however, the obsessions seem to know that i am not trying to engage, and thus a new obsession that’s a lot more worse than the last one would appear—making me pay attention to them and do compulsions. it’s like, ocd knows what i am trying to do and it would do its best to prevent me from trying to recover. because of ocd, the friendships i had built with people are either breaking or are already broken by me. i have to avoid those people because they became part of the triggers. i don’t want to go to school too because the people there also became part of the triggers. i don’t want to see and interact with them anymore. i went to the national center for mental health near my area to inquire if they do consultations. unfortunately for me, they don’t give consultations to 18 years olds and below. they referred another branch to me, but the place where it was located is kind of far from my area, so i decided to just wait until i turn 19. to be honest, that was frustrating. i really want to get diagnosed by a professional because even if i know what i am going through, people would not believe me—not that i would tell them anyway, but just in case a situation where i am required to do so occured—and i might not believe myself either. what if i am really a bad person who is having these disgusting thoughts? what if i am just finding excuses to justify why i am having these thoughts? to me, getting diagnosed by a professional that i have ocd is a proof that those disgusting thoughts aren’t mine—but ocd’s. it is the proof that i am just a normal person getting constantly attacked by ocd. i plan to use this platform to start my healing journey, share, vent, and ask advice from people as well. i genuinely want to recover and i want to start doing it now. no matter how hard it is, i want to live happily again. i know i will have ocd for the rest of my life, but i, at least, want to make it manageable. i hope this platform will help me with that. i am a person who values freedom more than anything, so isn’t it torture for me to be trapped in my own mind with thoughts that aren’t even mine? i hope i can recover. i don’t mind if the journey ahead is long, i just want to live normally and happily again.

I find I comical how the mind says “this obsession isn’t getting to you so let’s finds something new to obsess over.” I have a question with OCD and I have been dealing with OCD for six years. I’ve been dealing with specifically SOOCD. My mind has been spiraling for the past two or three days about different obsessions. But the one that stuck, the most was the thought of not knowing who I am. Like what if I’m lying to myself about my sexuality because of my faith. Yesterday I was able to calm myself down by saying either way God loves me. God loves all of us, no matter what orientation. But then I start dealing with a more intense obsession. What if I’m lying to myself denying who and what I truly am and I become a non-believer. Like I’m not homophobic it’s just I don’t want to be with the same sex but my mind is like you’re lying and you’re going to stop believing in God. Guys ik this sounds crazy but I just don’t know my my mind is like this. It’s crazy how OCD sees what you value most and targets it I feel like I’m going crazy. Can anyone relate.

I’m pretty sure what i’m doing is a compulsion but this is the last time i’ll come on here and do this. I have a private social media account just to have exposures readily available to me and so i don’t have that content flooding my real account. I see a lot of lesbian content on there like couples, coming out stories, tons of masc lesbians (biggest trigger), stuff like that. Whenever I see stuff like that I force myself to watch and i’m noticing how i’m building up a tolerance bc im way less anxious whenever i see content like that or things involving wlw couples. I saw a more feminine couple and made myself go through their account bc i was feeling brave since more feminine presenting women aren’t as anxiety inducing to me as masculine women. I watched their videos, refrained from doing compulsions, and bam as soon as they kiss or get handsy i get a groinal response. I continued to scroll down and I see more lesbian couples kissing and more “how i realized i was gay” videos. after getting a groinal response from watching a lesbian couple makeout (it was a “just to be with youuuu foreverrrr” video). I felt nothing at first but then when i see it i think to myself like “oh this is sexual” and get anxious or feel anticipatory anxiety, and then i got a really strong groinal response. I’ve learned to just brush it off and continue without analyzing, but the video that showed after was of a straight couple basically doing the same thing but i had zero reaction anywhere. No groinal response, no attraction to the guy, just numbness. Then I start to think “what if this is just me being in denial” and I remember how i’ve basically have had loss of attraction for 6 years, and I feel like the groinal might be real and just me lying to myself. I just wish I had that same sexual and physical attraction I had towards men before this theme started years ago. I feel like it would be so much easier to manage it. I literally have no libido AT ALL i’m never ever in the mood and feel sexually numb. Im numb to straight sexual content or anything regarding men. All of this, my past childhood experimenting (i’ve posted tons about this before), my issues being intimate and affectionate w my ex’a, TMI my arousal to anything sexual, and the other proof floods my head whenever i notice these things. I’m not going to dwell on this anymore tonight but I just needed to vent about it. Hopefully this is just OCD and I can live the life i’ve always wanted. If not then 🧍‍♀️idk.

Okay so today I’ve been really struggling with SO-OCD and I find it’s random triggers. Like I made a new friend on placement because I was excited to be on placement with my new friend my heads told me I like her romantically when I know I don’t because she’s just a friend and I’m not attracted to her because she’s not a man I’m so scared that these feelings are just me in denial. Like I over analyse situations. For example there could be someone on placement who I’ve seen on a previous placement a few years ago so that must be a sign that I’m gay I have so much anxiety and I over think and analyse every situation I’ve been in and how I’ve felt at the moment and then I spiral and I go on dating apps but not for the right reason. I go on looking for reassurance and then when I get it, the conversation suddenly dies down randomly and then I think that it’s a sign from the universe that I’m meant to be single or I’m not meant to be with a man. I’m also terrified to say it out loud incase it comes true. But I’ve also realised that I never had these thoughts when I was in school nor did I ever get this anxiety type feeling because I was surrounded by boys and girls and I had crush’s on boys, and I really liked this certain boy but looking back I overthink that crush and whether I actually liked him or not. But now because I’ve finished school I’ve not got many datable men in my life like you do in school, and I’m not really surrounded by men as I am women. Because I’m doing a degree that’s mainly women, my hobbies are mainly women or on my own and I don’t really go out partying and meeting boys so I don’t really have that part of my life. I feel like that’s a big trigger too. I feel like I’m so fixated on getting into a relationship because I’m 22 and I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and I feel like I’m running out of time and that I’m going to be still single at 30 which is also a big fear of mine. I just wish there was answers

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with false memory OCD? I’m just so afraid that my thoughts are real and they involve some pretty horrible stuff - I just feel like I’m going crazy or that I can’t trust myself to remember things correctly

I don't usually post on here so this might be kinda awkward 😭 I recently had a comeback of one of my worst themes which involves a real event, it was something I did when I was around 14 and a really s*xually charged child struggling with intrusive thoughts. This memory usually stays in the back of my mind but it's usually 'dormant' however, recently I was at a family event and a story from this time period was brought up which kind of triggered me? Being reminded that this era of my life really happened kind of grounds the thought and makes me panic again, I had to immediately isolate myself to deal with the guilt that overcame me, and started looking up similar stories which might be a compulsion- but it didn't do too much since mine feels so much worse than all the others 😭 Now, I have this really close best friend and I trust her to pieces, so much that I keep feeling the need to confess it even though I know I shouldn't and that it might make it worse, part of me wants to because I feel like I'm keeping secrets of my dark past from her, and the other doesn't want her to see me in an awful light. It's now exacerbated because we're celebrating her birthday together this Friday and there's gonna be some drinking involved- which is making me really scared that I'll confess these things to her while drinking, that I might never be able to drink with friends again out of fear that I'll confess, and that I'll eventually have to confess these things to somebody... I don't know how to deal with these feelings 😭 it's all been eating me up lately and I just want to enjoy the time with friends that I've been looking forward to for months now...

So for a English college course, my friend gave me the answer and because I was a dumbass and lazy person I copied it word for word, and of course it had turntit or whatever it’s called, and the professor messaged both me and my friend saying we both have to re do it, she confronted me about it and yes I did tell her the truth and told her to never trust me with giving me out the answers again, I won’t go to class tomorrow because I have horrible cramps but that was before everything, but I will properly apologize to her in person with a hand written note, I know my friend will probably not talk to me anymore because she had arguments with her other guy friend over being replaced in marvel rivals so I’m gonna say goodbye to that friendship especially because she was my only friend. I feel super guilty and I admit it is my fault and feel bad that we both have to re do it, I’m not sure how else to apologize. But I really hope her other guy friend doesn’t say anything because when they fight I really never say anything because it’s not my argument oh gosh what do I do, I also know she will probably be hella pissed at me and not speak to me, she’s probably telling her other friends about me because she would tell me about her telling her other friends, I mean I don’t have any other real friends to be talking about what I should do. I need help, someone curse me off idk what do I do how do I make it up or do I call the friend ship quits?

My bestfriend and I are both Christians. My other friend is an Atheist. I don’t care she doesn’t have the same beliefs as me and only want the best for her. With that being said her and my bestfriend have been having augments about their beliefs and I feel like she’s starting to make my bestfriend rethink her faith. This would be none of my business if my bestfriend didn’t send me photos of their texts when they were having these little fights. Some of the things my friend is saying to her logically don’t make sense. My bestfriend hasn’t outright asked for my opinion but I feel like at this point I should point out these inconsistencies and let her make the decision but I’m not very good at explaining math or science or really anything. I just know that a lot of people have a problem with Christian’s being pushy or judgy and I want to be neither of those things.

A few months ago, about six or seven months ago, I adopted rats as pets, and they mean everything to me. But sometimes I feel like my OCD is getting in the way of taking care of them, because every small detail that happens turns into something I ruminate about all day. For example, if one of them doesn’t want affection at a certain moment, I start ruminating that he doesn’t like me anymore, that he hates me, and things like that. If one of them eats a little less, I immediately start thinking he’s sick, that he might die, that I need to take him to the vet. Any small situation becomes something huge in my mind. I also find myself constantly monitoring them. All of this is mentally exhausting, but I don’t know if this is OCD, because I can’t clearly identify what the obsessions and compulsions are. Maybe the compulsions are asking ChatGPT if something is normal, what something means, or looking for reassurance on Reddit, or maybe it’s just the rumination itself. I don’t know. My OCD has always been mostly about relationships, ROCD, and that is more under control now. But I feel like these other things, which might also be OCD but that I didn’t pay as much attention to before (bc I was foccus on the ROCD that was fck TERRIBLE to me), are getting worse day by day. And I don’t know how to deal with it, because I don’t even know if this is OCD or not. Maybe I’m just faking it. Maybe I’m exaggerating. Maybe I had OCD in the past and I don’t have it anymore, or maybe now I’m just pretending and it’s actually just normal anxiety. I don’t know, I really don’t know. I feel desperate, truly desperate.

I’ve been dealing with pretty bad gender OCD for the last month and freaking out about whether I’m in denial about actually being trans, and today I realized I actually have experience with being in denial about being (mostly) gay, and it’s helping me see that that’s not what this is. When I was in denial about being gay, it was because of social consequences (worrying about being accepted and not wanting to be seen as different), since being attracted to guys feels normal and natural to me. As far as I can remember I never obsessed about it or constantly checked my sexual responses to see how I felt, and in a world with no social stigma or homophobia, I think I would have never had any issue with it and I would have come out a lot sooner. I always knew I found guys attractive and had a hard time imagining dating or having a serious relationship with a woman, I just never quite connected the word “gay” to it. It was a sort of “I know that gay men like men, and I think men are attractive, but I’m probably just bi or a straight guy who’s looking at attractive men l because I want to look like them” situation. At this point a year after coming out to myself, I’d be really confused and weirded out if there were some 100% accurate blood test for sexual orientation that proved I’m actually straight, because it would mean that what I’ve always felt would be a lie. Once I admitted that I was gay, it was definitely a bit intimidating to process (not least because I knew that there could be social consequences) but it was a relief because it just felt right, and it felt good to put a word to what I’ve always felt and accept that I am that. I’m not out to many people and I don’t have any gay friends (or many friends at all, really), but I feel less lost and more at peace knowing that there’s a word for what I am. That’s not at all how this feels. When it comes to this, fear of being subjected to social stigma is certainly part of the angst going through my head, but it’s secondary to the primary angst, which is “I don’t want to transition, transitioning to me sounds like a kind of death, BUT WHAT IF I HAVE TO? I’m satisfied with my body as it is and with being seen as a guy, I don’t see myself as or want to be another gender, I don’t want to lose the body and appearance that I have now, what I want is for these thoughts to go away so I can go back to being that happy and comfortable guy who never thought twice about his gender, BUT WHAT IF I’VE BEEN A GIRL THIS WHOLE TIME? WHAT IF I ACTUALLY DON’T LIKE MY BODY/PRESENTATION?” Unlike with being gay, I want a test to prove with 100% accuracy that I’m a cis male with TOCD because then that would mean that I am what I’ve always felt I am and this is just my neurodivergent brain temporarily playing a trick on me again that will pass. I don’t know if this will help anyone else, but it’s helping me. (I got an OCD evaluation through a work-sponsored therapy session with a social worker, and he determined that I have moderate-bordering-on-severe OCD. I’ll get on actual treatment soon.)

I broke up with my boyfriend almost a week ago because of how he was treating me but hes been super sad and swears he’s going to work on himself because of how much he loves and cares about me.. i want to believe him but part of me also worries is this just some sort of tactic to reel me back in and it’s just gonna be the same?? I also feed bad if I do give him another chance because I already vented to my best friend and mom about him.. which I would’ve never told them anything unless I was DONE. So now I just feel bad for talking bad about him when he’s willing to try so hard to get me back. Ugh idk I’m torn between constant feelings of feeling bad, missing and loving him a lot still, stressed about having to explain my reasonings for taking him back, feeling unsure, etc. Any advice from anyone who has been in this position😭