Date posted: 2d

In my head/ overthinking

Okay so today I’ve been really struggling with SO-OCD and I find it’s random triggers. Like I made a new friend on placement because I was excited to be on placement with my new friend my heads told me I like her romantically when I know I don’t because she’s just a friend and I’m not attracted to her because she’s not a man I’m so scared that these feelings are just me in denial. Like I over analyse situations. For example there could be someone on placement who I’ve seen on a previous placement a few years ago so that must be a sign that I’m gay I have so much anxiety and I over think and analyse every situation I’ve been in and how I’ve felt at the moment and then I spiral and I go on dating apps but not for the right reason. I go on looking for reassurance and then when I get it, the conversation suddenly dies down randomly and then I think that it’s a sign from the universe that I’m meant to be single or I’m not meant to be with a man. I’m also terrified to say it out loud incase it comes true. But I’ve also realised that I never had these thoughts when I was in school nor did I ever get this anxiety type feeling because I was surrounded by boys and girls and I had crush’s on boys, and I really liked this certain boy but looking back I overthink that crush and whether I actually liked him or not. But now because I’ve finished school I’ve not got many datable men in my life like you do in school, and I’m not really surrounded by men as I am women. Because I’m doing a degree that’s mainly women, my hobbies are mainly women or on my own and I don’t really go out partying and meeting boys so I don’t really have that part of my life. I feel like that’s a big trigger too. I feel like I’m so fixated on getting into a relationship because I’m 22 and I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and I feel like I’m running out of time and that I’m going to be still single at 30 which is also a big fear of mine. I just wish there was answers

Sexual Orientation OCD

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

Sounds to me like you're dealing with textbook OCD. OCD attaches itself to who and what you value and what you fear. SO-OCD is very common. The fact that you're freaking out about it indicates to me that it's OCD. Are you in OCD therapy with a therapist who uses ERP therapy? This is very treatable.

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

Here's some ERP that you can work on. OCD is making you ruminate all the time over if you're gay. The rumination is only enforcing the theme and causing you a great deal of anxiety. ERP teaches us to take away OCD's mojo by accepting uncertainty and staying in the present. Example: when you have an intrusive S.O. thought just say to yourself, "Maybe I am and maybe I'm not, but I'm not doing it now, I'm not planning on doing it, and I'll worry about it if the the situation ever presents itself." When you become indifferent to it, over time you get off the OCD treadmill. OCD wants you to spend your day searching for absolute certainty that you're not gay, but when you accept uncertainty you beat OCD at its own game. Hope this helps.

10493822

Date posted: 2d

I’m a university student, I can’t afford therapy. I know I need it. Plus ive never ever been comfortable talking about it in person. I’ve told my closed friends I was diagnosed with it but I have never opened up about the themes.

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

Would you feel comfortable in checking with you school's mental health services for students? OCD is very common in your age group. You can see if they have a therapist who is trained in ERP therapy.

10493822

Date posted: 2d

Thank you, I will try and do that. It’s so hard not to do a compulsion because the temptation is so strong.

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