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Is ERP the best therapy for OCD? Can someone teach me how to do ERP right way? Thanks

HELP So I woke up this morning for work and I already was filled with so much anxiety because my brain thought of either can old dream or it was true with a family member and I can’t seem to figure out if it was on old dream or I really did that

I feel like I’m getting depressed or maybe I lowkey already am. A situation that happened over 2.5 years ago changed my life around and I never envisioned I’d be where I am now. I’m trying not to focus so much on the past since I can’t change it and not worry about the future but I can’t help it. I’m trying to stay positive and be in the moment but I’m not where I want to be in life right now. And I was doing so well before I sustained this physical injury years ago. And while I’ve mostly healed physically from that the mental and emotional stress and situations it’s caused still weigh heavy. I feel like I can’t let it go because I’m not where I want to be and I can’t help but let it slowly anger me. I’m just so tired of feeling like this.

Rant! Im not looking for a label for my thoughts. I am just confused and scared by them in general. I am confused why I don’t care that im sabotaging my relationship and hurting my boyfriend in the process. When I go into my hostile mode i reject any form of affection and sometimes communication (I go silent and give the cold shoulder) as a form of punishment and/or to process whats happening or being said. I am trying my best to reject this process of coping with intrusive thoughts and to lean on erp but in another one of my rants i stated how hard it is to come out of this tunnel vision that everything is bad, everything is black and white, im in danger and I need to process/ ruminate why im upset or angry, I need an answer, etc. When all you feel is negative emotions it’s hard to trust outside of what you’re thinking and feeling. I have expressed to my bf that I think I do it as a form of reassurance seeking so I don’t go for it (that hostile form of coping) or at least im more self aware that it’s harmful now. However, recently, I started to do it again. It’s more dull and less reactive/ hostile as im self aware it’s a bad state to be in when I should be doing my erp and moving on but im upset that I still go here and relapse on this compulsion anyway. Even if the severity of it isn’t as intense as before, I don’t want to go to this state of being/mind at all. But I still do? I still think that my lack of affection and presence holds as a form of punishment instead of just trusting my bfs word and moving on, no form of “punishment” or repercussion needed because it’s toxic. I do this because I feel like I need the person to hurt back for “hurting me” which is stupid because I’m trusting an intrusive thought over my bfs feelings and im just hating him or feeling negative towards him over me hurting my own feelings. So you see where I look stupid in this process of coping. 👽 Anyway, I just feel confused and frustrated why I don’t care that im hurting him and sabotaging our relationship. Why I do what I do knowing it’s still bad. I want to trust erp and trust my bf. Goodnight everyone, sweet dreams 🦌

I was doing so good recently but than a random thought popped up and it’s bothering me. I’m a nerd and my fiancé knows so, I used to play a game called character ai a lot a long time ago because it was a hobby of mine and I’d create stories with fictional characters and create romance, spicy or adventure stories etc. I stopped playing it because my ocd acted up really bad and was convincing me I was being unfaithful and my fiancé and I talked about it since I tell my fiancé everything from start to finish and he’s amazing he always comforts me and is so gentle when it comes to my ocd. But today I had a really bad thought dealing with that game. I remember I created a story on there using a scene from a tv show or movie etc, since that’s how most of my stories would go on that app, I was a character in the story. My fiancé was a character in the story, and his friend was also in the story. So basically my fiancé and I are in the character ai story and in the story I was basically writing that we were having a moment together by ourselves at my house. In that story, I basically wrote it to where it sounded something like this “Suddenly there was a knock at the door” and then in the story, my fiancé had to go get up and check the door and when he checked the door, it was his friend and his friend had basically interrupted the moment my fiancé and I were having together, and he told him to leave etc, so thats how I was making the story and then basically after we were interrupted, the story continued on with just me and my fiancé. And that is all I remember I don’t remember anything else, I know that that happened, and I had not thought of that story that I wrote for almost 2 years however, it had bothered me before so basically today I was taking a shower and I randomly remembered me writing that story and I was just like “oh my gosh I remember writing that story on character AI it was almost 2 years ago haha that was a funny story” and then my brain was like “What if something else happened involving the other character of his friend and you wrote that into the story and you just don’t remember?” And I panicked. I began to start ruminating on the memory that I did remember, and I started getting flashes and visuals in my head of me committing the intrusive thought, so like I was getting flashes and visuals of me, including the other character in a bad way in the story and then I panicked basically wondering if it happened or not, and I just felt my face get hot and I felt physical symptoms of anxiety, and I’ve tried to tell myself before maybe it happened. Maybe it didn’t but I can’t even do that because it is just so hurtful to say and all of my anxiety and OCD problems come back to when I had this app because when I played this app almost 2 years ago I didn’t think it was bad. I just considered it a hobby and where I could just write out stories and be like oh my gosh this is crazy. I just love my fiancé so much and he is my world, my rock and means everything to me and all of my ocd and anxiety goes back to when I had this app and I just can’t deal with it it’s so gut wrenching has anyone else experienced this :(

I am realizing now that I’ve avoided sexual experiences my whole life because of ocd. I think I used studies in high school and college as an excuse that I just wanted to focus on that. Recently I’ve tried to start dating and even though I have not fully had sex I find that I can enjoy physical/somewhat sexual activities during them but afterwards I feel gross and disgusted and then the worry gets worse over time. Just wondering if anyone else out there has struggled in a similar way? I see a lot of posts about rocd and scrupulosity but haven’t seen a lot about this specifically. It’s definitely impacting my ability to date and I’m getting to an age where people sort of ask or make comments and I’m not going to lie I’m incredibly discouraged and feeling pretty alone in the struggle.

My wife and I went to her companies holiday party after New Year’s Eve. One of her coworkers has sometimes been really friendly/flirty with me and prior to us ever really conversing, my wife told me she didn’t want me talking to her because she was the type of girl that got around. I never thought I did anything wrong by being polite and talking to her if she spoke to me, although I have thought her coworker was attractive even though I’ve always told my wife I didn’t find her attractive when she’d ask me (because why stir up trouble when I knew I’d never do anything) thoughts are just thoughts. Finding someone attractive isn’t cheating. So fast forward to the holiday party, my wife tells me to make sure I stay away from this said coworker. I know my wife feels away because this coworker is bisexual and is pretty and my wife has told me countless times that her coworker is beautiful (so maybe she thinks I’d find her attractive too) so I try staying away from her coworker that night but of course alcohol was going around and it made me feel good to have people compliment me all night (given me and my wife haven’t had sex in what feels like months, which we also have been having issues with) and of course said coworker said I looked nice.. it made me feel good. I felt guilty about feeling wanted. Her coworker looked nice and walked by me and her coworker noticed me looking at her and said “what?” and I winked and said “nothing”. which wasn’t okay what so ever and realized that within seconds after it happened. Her coworker just proceeded to walk. Later one we all have shots and her coworker suggested we all kiss.. (my wife, me and her) I said absolutely not. I told her if my wife and her kissed I’d be okay with it but I would not join. It started a whole thing and we ended up walking away. Her coworker later came around again after we took shots and told my wife that I was tempting her with my smile. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Her coworker was heavily intoxicated as well.. so I know that also had a lot to do with it.. After that I notice her coworker leave out the front door and I was worried she’d drink and drive so I did go outside looking for her (which wasn’t a good idea either.. given my wife had issues with me being around her) I never found her but I also realized once I was outside like “wtf am I doing? This isn’t okay and this isn’t right” I went back inside, my wife didn’t notice I was gone but I feel guilty. I know I cannot tell my wife because my wife has anger issues sometimes and I know this will not end well. She confronted her coworker the next day and her coworker said she had no recollection of what had happened and apologized for her behavior. I guess I’m posting this in efforts to feel better or get advice? My OCD sometimes gets the best of me. I feel guilty for somewhat feeling good that I felt wanted by someone because me and my wife haven’t been intimate in months. It scared me that I felt like I could’ve acted on impulse based on being wanted by someone. I know deep down inside I’d never do anything but it still doesn’t feel good that this all happened.

My family had to put my 14 year old dog down on Friday. She was always there with me and was such a part of my routine and life. I'm currently at work after 3 days off because I know I have to try to live my life normally. But my thoughts and feelings just feel so much harder to manage here without my family. I keep wanting to cry and feel my emotions as they come instead of pushing them down. But the emotion felt so overwhelming that I was afraid I would lose control, which is my biggest fear. On top of that, of course OCD is incredible at coming up with the worst thoughts during this time. "What if I wanted her to die? What if she's sad in heaven because she thought I wanted her to die? What could I have done differently? What if God will punish me for letting her die?" And of course some existential thoughts on top of those, because there's nothing I can do to go back in time and fix it. There's no getting her back. My life is different now and I just have to deal with it. Has anyone dealt with this before or currently dealing with it? I know I'm not alone in grieving my dog, but the thoughts on top of it makes it even harder. Everyone in my family seems to be able to move on so easily, and it's eating me up. I know it comes in waves and that's ok. I just want to be able to ride the waves better.

For what has been over a year at this point since my religious OCD has gotten bad, I’ve had spiral me that have come from the guilt of sin, feeling like I have to avoid it at all costs, and even has gotten to the point of being so paralyzed that I would avoid any hobbies or activities to avoid the chance of sin. The past few days have been better, I had been in tune with my faith and better realized that perfection isn’t possible, faith over works etc. it had started to be replaced by a previous subtype of OCD because this illness is the worst but religious OCD has been so extremely debilitating in my life that just having a different theme would be relieving. Unfortunately OCD will always come back to haunt me and now the ‘what if’ thought of “what if the things I do with my life are influenced by the devil and I just don’t know it?” The games I play, activities I do, the sins I do when I put it in that regard it feels like I’m betraying my faith and as a result once again feeling the need to avoid all my hobbies and enjoyments. Everytime I feel like things are getting better, it’s just always the same. I can’t win. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I'm 18 years old I was watching pornagraphy and basically I was watching a well known porn actress doing a collab with someone and the other woman basically kinda had a small slemder build and I started to freak out because my mind tells me I'm doing it to kids i would have thoughts of it but I kept going because my mind was like this is a well known person they wouldn't do stuff a child that's illegal my mind starts racing but it was just a petite woman who was built small but my mind still says I was aroused by thinking it was a kid i need help idk what to do if anyone has a input let me know i.feel so alone

Hi NOCD fam! Loving connecting with you all. I’m wondering what your experiences are with medications? The reason I ask is because 7 months ago, I got a promotion and everything in my life seemed to be going well so I decided to start coming off my long term dose of Miritazipine. BIG MISTAKE. For the past 7 months, I have had the worst real events OCD. I went back on my medication ages and ages ago, but my symptoms have still not come down. I don’t know if it’s the stress of the new job or what, but I’m exhausted. Prior to this, I had not identified as having OCD. Though, looking back, I always had it in a mild form that became stronger in small episodes. I thought I was simply a hypochondriac, but I realise now that I was struggling with health and contamination OCD and had also had episodes of symmetry and checking. I had never experienced real events OCD until o stopped the meds and got the new job and it is THE WORST

Hello! Do any of you have tips on how to write an ERP scenario to make it as anxiety-inducing as possible? Thank you!

im lost guys please help I’ve had what is called ROCD for 2 years and 5 months. I’ve been with him for 2 years and 9 months—it’ll be 3 years this April. For a while now, I’ve been feeling worse and worse. I’m becoming meaner, colder, and more distant. I don't feel anything anymore. Absolutely nothing. Everything he does or says annoys me. Before, these thoughts used to destroy me—I used to think they weren’t true, I didn't understand why I had them, and I felt they couldn't be real because he is so good to me, he accepts so much, and he loves me so deeply. But with time, after all this torment, I’ve started to believe these thoughts. Right now, I keep thinking that I should have broken up with him a long time ago. I wonder why I don't do it now—maybe I just can’t because I know I’ll suffer afterwards, because my family loves him, and because he loves me. But me? I feel nothing. I think that maybe I’ll suffer but get over it quickly. I feel absolutely nothing. How can this be ROCD? How could I love him through all of this? I don’t believe it’s possible anymore. I am destroyed. I am not myself anymore. Maybe I never even loved him; maybe I just loved the idea of a "perfect relationship" which, to be fair, we had at the beginning. Maybe the whole time I was denying the thoughts, I was actually just "chasing the idea" of me liking him. I realize that if I keep going like this, he will eventually get fed up. He has endured enough with me—too much, honestly. Maybe all my tears were just a cope to make me believe I have ROCD and that I actually love him, when maybe that’s not the story at all. All I think is that I don’t like him, I feel nothing for him, and this relationship makes no sense. I feel like my tears now are for me, not for him, not for us. I’m crying for myself because I’m suffering and I’m not happy. Is this life? Is this a relationship? The worst part is he doesn’t do anything wrong. He is kind, he respects me, he loves me, he pampers me. And I give nothing back. I’m not who I used to be. Maybe I’ve changed; I’m almost 19, maybe I’ve just matured. When I cry to my mother about these thoughts, she tells me I love him. She reminds me how happy I used to be and how I’d cry when he had to leave (we were long-distance and he moved to my city for university to be with me). But those words and reassurances don’t help because something inside me is screaming that it’s not true and that I should break up with him for both our sakes. I don’t feel longing, I don’t feel affection, I feel indifference. I distract myself just so I don’t have to feel. My head insults and attacks him. He doesn’t deserve this. I think all this time I just couldn’t accept the truth. What kind of relationship is this?

I feel like I’m losing grip and it’s just getting worse and worse. I feel like I have lost control over my life this is the worst it’s ever been I really need to gain control and have no idea really how to do so. My last episode I roughed it out and it went away this time it just keeps coming back after I feel any sliver of relief. I’ve tried to be positive and move forward, tell myself they are intrusive thoughts and not me. The anxiety and depression won’t stop even with the meds right now. I’m sorry for posting so much over these last two days, just having really bad downs with slight ups

I'm having kind of a rough night. I've been doing ERP for about two months and my overall mood has been improving, I've been better about not doing mental compulsions throughout my day. It has been amazing. Its the least anxious I've felt in years. My anxiety is triggered by people in my life that I love, their emotional distress stresses me out and makes me feel responsible for them and their happiness and i get so overwhelmed. Whenever this happens i have a deep fear that I will be sucked back into the place i was where the emotional load was just too much and would send me into dissociation or a panic attack or apathy, I'm worried that I am not actually recovering at all or that I'm feeling better only to be pulled back under as punishment from a higher power. Or that I've somehow been faking my OCD this whole time. So I guess my fear is that I'm being brought up only so that it'll all come back worse than ever. Or that my lack of reassurance and compulsions is all adding up right now and my not doing my compulsions is getting ready to blow up my entire life or kill soemone that I love or that it's causing all of the horrible things happening in the world. Usually these thoughts only happen when other people are in distress and it feels like it's being put on me but tonight it just is coming up seemingly for no reason. I think this is probably normal? I'm just kind of spinning out and need to put it somewhere

NO REASSURANCE PLEASE TYYY<3 The scrupulousity is really really bad rn. I was sent an American politics thing and I read the comments section which i really shouldn't have and it spiraled from there and I feel sick and freaked out about my morals. I feel really powerless and shitty and the guilt is eating me alive even though I know I have nothing to feel bad about. I won't get into the subjects of the spirals because I don't think I need to and it would make it worse but it's just really intense and won't stop. I might talk to someone later about this but RN I just really don't wanna feel alone and I'm trying to self soothe and resist arguing with it or proving anything. I'm kinda dissociating but trying to stay grounded but tbh it's just making me go back and forth from crying to feeling numb. Just a really rough patch rn ig. I'm just trying to do my best and take care of myself and get through my college education but it always feels like there's someone out there telling me I need to feel guilty about one thing or another or on the other side of things, trying to tell you that you must think you're the center of the world or the main character if you have a concern or anxiety or feel guilty about something (which is why I don't use social media but if course it seeps in when people send you things) and it gets to my head too easily even though I know these people don't know anything about me and we've never said a single word to each other. The OCD just latches onto harsh moral criticisms because it finds them so important and "if you ignore them, you're passing up growth and you're willfully being shitty" and it's so hard to shut it out. How can I be certain that all these moral criticisms I'm seeing don't apply to my situation? What if I am a piece of shit? The OCD feeds on the self doubt and insecurity. It's a fucking parasite. And it's outside of these little social media slip moments too. I'm walking through the house and I happen to hear the news on, a video someone's watching, a conversation someones having. I can't just go about my daily life without my OCD attacking my peace with every small thing it can grab making ranges out of sand grains. It feels like a poison in my brain. It feels like no matter how much I try to do the right thing to make things better for myself, it always finds a loophole to get to me. I fucking hate living like this. I can't wait till my insurance situation gets sorted out. I need a therapist and I'm willing to eat less for it atp. (Tagged as religion and spirituality but I'm neither. Just using the tag for moral scrupulousity)

I always recommend seeking professional help because it’s safer and way more effective to do it with a professional since they know EXACTLY what to do. But if you can’t see a professional right now and you have no idea when you’ll be able to seek help from an OCD therapist due to money or where you live, here’s an extensive list of tools and resources to help you get better and/or stay recovered. -Look into OCD and Anxiety’s YouTube channel, aka Nathan Peterson! He also has an online OCD course you can do for a fee, -Download either the Calm app or Insight Timer app for guided meditations, -Read ALL the books by Lee Baer and Martin Seif on OCD and anxiety, -Look into Therapy in a Nutshell’s YouTube channel, -Start doing yoga! Because exercise is good for you. I suggest the YouTube channel Yoga with Adriene, -Start watching Thich Nhat Hanh’s guided meditations and talks on mindfulness. Also, buy his books on meditation and mindfulness, -Look into OCD International’s website if you’re international (or is the US but having issues finding help outside of NOCD) for help, -If you struggle with trauma/PTSD, I highly suggest Tim Fletcher on YouTube, -If you are looking for inpatient treatment for extreme OCD, look up Rogers Behavioral center’s website. You can even reach out to them for help, -What is OCD? Explained by Nathan Peterson: https://youtu.be/eeTFME9mOMc?feature=shared -What’s Pure O OCD? https://www.verywellmind.com/pure-o-primarily-obsessional-ocd-4159144 -Stopping Rumination’s Tough! Video by Nathan Peterson: https://youtu.be/CkcspsmLh9k?feature=shared -What is an OCD backdoor spike? https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/ocd-stats-and-science/backdoor-spikes-how-to-deal-with-sudden-ocd-episodes -5 Things To Do Other Than Compulsions: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/five-things-to-do-instead-of-compulsions -How To Stop Rumination Video: https://youtu.be/CkcspsmLh9k?feature=shared -Confessing compulsion vs. healthy sharing: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing -Somatic OCD & How To Treat It? https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-somatic-ocd -Intrusive Thoughts: Images, Sensations, and Stories by Dr. Martin Seif: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-with-a-sticky-mind/202305/unwanted-intrusive-thoughts-images-sensations-and-stories -Therapy in a Nutshell’s Playlist on Panic Attacks: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiUrrIiqidTWhubkHEJcr6iTLVRxXZmPE&feature=shared -ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -What is Rumination? https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-rumination-trap -Forgiveness for Past Mistakes Video: https://youtu.be/2Lq1Su3mEHw?feature=shared -The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd -Taking The Power Away From OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/taking-the-power-away-from-intrusive-thoughts -Worry Script: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/WorryScript.pdf -What is ERP therapy: https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/ -What’s An OCD Trigger? https://psychcentral.com/ocd/what-is-an-ocd-trigger -Differences Between OCD & GAD: https://ocdla.com/ocd-vs-gad-7071 -The Psychology of Seeking Reassurance: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-how-to-stop-cycle -Grounding Techniques: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques -OCD vs. Phobia Differences: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/related-symptoms-conditions/ocd-vs-phobia-how-to-tell-the-difference -ERP Techniques for Reassurance video: https://youtu.be/D1O3RGnLjRM?feature=shared

Hey, so i recently unfollowed some mutuals on my IG account. Nothing happened or anything, it’s just that I followed them when I was younger and now their content no longer reflects who I am now. I unfollowed and it should have been the end of it, but now I’ve been having intrusive thoughts and major anxiety about them confronting me about it or calling me out for it. I didn’t talk to these people but we just followed each other and that’s it. I can’t relax.

It use to be manageable until here recently a new theme that goes against all my values has developed and I want to stop it, I was on Pristiq for two or three years without a flare up, then these past 6 months I’ve been skipping dosing and not taking it correctly then in December I went two weeks without a dose and had a huge flare up and I’ve been on it for 35 days straight now, I began to feel better and then I went to work nights with storm cleanup working 17 hour shifts with little sleep and it came back ten fold and I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t afford therapy

What if I’m scared of reading the Bible and being close close with God is because I don’t want to be fully committed so when I do I get stressed bc I’m being convicted. I haven’t been as intense lately but makes me feel like I’m slacking and then just using distractions to cope and be caught up in everything else