Scrupulousity intense rn

NO REASSURANCE PLEASE TYYY<3 The scrupulousity is really really bad rn. I was sent an American politics thing and I read the comments section which i really shouldn't have and it spiraled from there and I feel sick and freaked out about my morals. I feel really powerless and shitty and the guilt is eating me alive even though I know I have nothing to feel bad about. I won't get into the subjects of the spirals because I don't think I need to and it would make it worse but it's just really intense and won't stop. I might talk to someone later about this but RN I just really don't wanna feel alone and I'm trying to self soothe and resist arguing with it or proving anything. I'm kinda dissociating but trying to stay grounded but tbh it's just making me go back and forth from crying to feeling numb. Just a really rough patch rn ig. I'm just trying to do my best and take care of myself and get through my college education but it always feels like there's someone out there telling me I need to feel guilty about one thing or another or on the other side of things, trying to tell you that you must think you're the center of the world or the main character if you have a concern or anxiety or feel guilty about something (which is why I don't use social media but if course it seeps in when people send you things) and it gets to my head too easily even though I know these people don't know anything about me and we've never said a single word to each other. The OCD just latches onto harsh moral criticisms because it finds them so important and "if you ignore them, you're passing up growth and you're willfully being shitty" and it's so hard to shut it out. How can I be certain that all these moral criticisms I'm seeing don't apply to my situation? What if I am a piece of shit? The OCD feeds on the self doubt and insecurity. It's a fucking parasite. And it's outside of these little social media slip moments too. I'm walking through the house and I happen to hear the news on, a video someone's watching, a conversation someones having. I can't just go about my daily life without my OCD attacking my peace with every small thing it can grab making ranges out of sand grains. It feels like a poison in my brain. It feels like no matter how much I try to do the right thing to make things better for myself, it always finds a loophole to get to me. I fucking hate living like this. I can't wait till my insurance situation gets sorted out. I need a therapist and I'm willing to eat less for it atp. (Tagged as religion and spirituality but I'm neither. Just using the tag for moral scrupulousity)