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my bf doesn’t believe in God. his parents didn’t care either. this makes me sad cause what if we get marry and God forbid are separated bc he was never saved? i can’t force religion on someone.

Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship.. Today, for the first time, my partner cried because of it .. I didn’t know how to deal with my thoughts, and seeing him like that made me realize that I really need to change something. Anything that doesn’t make sense to me feels unbearable. And as soon as I talk about one thing, the next thought comes into my head, something else that doesn’t make sense and leaves me feeling uncertain again. I honestly feel extremely helpless right now.. Just as a side note: I was officially diagnosed with ROCD in a previous relationship, not with my current partner, but in a past one.

i’ve told five friends, my sister, and my parents and they all say they don’t think i’m lesbian or into girls the way i’m scared of. but chat gpt says family and friends don’t know. i’ve been on meds for a few months now and the amount of thoughts and time they take up is less and how arousing the thoughts are are less but it’s still there and now feels enjoyable and like i prefer women emotionally and in my life and feel numb for men. but i have a bf and don’t miss him a lot but i enjoy sex with him and stuff. idk what to do anymore

i made a first post about this, this is the second part. but i decided to stay with him and things took a toll today. lately, for weeks now, i can’t get the thought of him cheating on me out of my head. some things have happened to cause me to think like this but recently it’s gotten worse. we got into a huge huge argument today and we nearly broke up. we had set a rule on instagram about updating each other when we posted or changed our profile photo bc he had trust issues with that in the past so we set those rules for him. and I gladly did so. but then today i texted him, nearly 10 hours went by - no response - then i open up instagram and he posted something without letting me know. so I got upset told him if that’s how he wants to do things then he can. then he got upset because i always “assume” things without asking but there was nothing to ask because you’ve been on your phone but you can’t text ur gf back? he claimed he was asleep and he woke up to post, and he said he saw my text but he didn’t feel like talking to me and didn’t know what to respond to with. on top of that his posts r made for a female audience. and then he said “you’re tweaking when ive only been gone for 9 hours”, but yesterday he got disappointed when i didn’t respond within an hour. and I told him his double standards are insane. he got mad. told me I should just leave him since he’s not enough and I made him feel like a sh*tbag. I don’t know what to do. i want to be with him but everytime we fight we end up fighting against each other and not the problem. he told me i need to ask before i assume things, but when i ask he says “im tired, i don’t wanna do this right now, im not worried about that can we just chill”. I don’t feel emotionally safe to open up to him. and he takes everything as an attack. he told me I should be with someone I trust but he’s not understanding that I want to trust him and I want to be with him and the reason why I don’t trust him is because of things he’s done and not because of my past, he thinks im projecting my past onto our rls. we decided to see if we could go 2 weeks without arguing and if we can’t we need to breakup but how can I improve my trust with him and our rls in general?

This is my first time posting on here, and it’s sorta a general question. I genuinely don’t know what to do with myself when my emotions take over from a thought. I know the basics of ERP work is to sit with your feelings, label it and let your thoughts pass, but even when I try to indulge in good distractions and avoid the thought, the feeling still lingers and I can’t help but vent to my partner about it. I can see it’s affecting him and our relationship. I’ve tried journaling, going out for a run, breathing exercises, labeling my thoughts and feelings, but I’m still left restless and unable to sleep because my frustrations and anxieties get too strong. I listened to a recent podcast on reassurance seeking, and she says that a study shows that venting has ZERO benefits. The host says she journals or records herself venting to avoid “bottling it up” and she acknowledges that others may also be going through their own things. I want to be able to ride the wave on my own and practice these tools in the process, but does anyone else have any advice that helps them? TLDR: My feelings get too strong and leaves me restless. I’m seeking advice on what other strategies I can use to cope with my emotions on my own, besides journaling, going for a run, breathing exercises and labeling my thoughts/feelings.

My ROCD comes in waves but I recently began hormonal birth control to help level out a genetic disorder I am dealing with. The harm OCD and relationship OCD has gotten so much worse the last few weeks since starting. My brain is constantly going between. Am I going to hurt someone? Am I depressed? To every other what if known to man. But the ROCD is what has been pissing me off. My relationship is a complete 180 from what I’ve ever experienced. I have only ever been with abusers. My ex husband was a narcissistic person and ruined me (likely why I have this ROCD in the first place) but anyway- my relationship is great. We’re best friends. We share the same values morals and wishes. We enjoy the same things. He can do his own thing and I can do mine. But when my ROCD hits, I disassociate and panic and go through what ifs about the relationship. We have also both been going through some stuff the past few months which has decreased the way we have sex but a ton (went from 2x a day to a couple times a week to now maybe 1x a week- and I fear it’s repeating the same pattern as with my ex…different situation- he was abusive and my current partner isn’t) but with these ROCD bouts I start wondering- is he too short? Do I find him attractive? Do I want to be with him? Should I leave? And now have convinced myself that since we’re in a normal healthy relationship (which can feel boring) that there must be something wrong and that I need to figure out what to do. I’m convinced that less sex and connection (exploring one another as we did when we started dating) means the relationship is doomed. I have never been in a healthy relationship and I know it takes work and showing up everyday. True love isn’t for the weak because it makes you have to work to keep it alive- especially when it’s “boring”. Idk what to do though. These thoughts and spirals are driving me mad. And no matter the situation, the spiral continues. I’m always anxious and thinking “what if” Any tips? I know one person in here said DO NOT leave my partner because it’ll only provide temporary relief and never solve the deeper issues I’m going through. I hate this feeling. I just want to enjoy my life.

i’m so stressed about college. i’m SO worried about meeting people, talking to people, making friends, meeting my roommates, etc. i’m scared that they won’t like me. i’m scared that i’ll say/do something that i couldn’t control and then they all hate me. i’ve been so on edge with my ocd lately, and it’s not very out of the ordinary to have me wanna do something like. weird. but it’s also just like…anything can happen. that little “your chances may be low, but they’re never zero” is always in the back of my head and it stresses me OUT. “the chances of you doing some weird and crazy thing or something out of pocket to your new roommates are very low, but never zero” like that TERRIFIES me dude. idk what to do. on top of it, im scared that they might accidentally do something and contaminate me or my surroundings or anything and then there’s nothing i can do about it. im always VERY particular with keeping things clean, with who can touch them, etc etc, but what if they do something behind my back? or what if they don’t but i think that they did and im stuck instead my head for the next like day or so? i’m so scared. i dont know what to do. does anybody have any college experiences they can share to help me?

My close friend recently told me after a lunch we had with our significant others that I made the lunch not as fun as it could have been because I was in my head and being quiet. I apologized, but we’re all supposed to go on a long road trip in a week and I’ve been thinking non stop for two days about how I might get in my head while we’re on the trip and ruin my friend’s and everyone else’s time. Especially because traveling and socializing are anxiety triggers for me. I’ve thought about bringing it up to my friend, but I don’t want to make anything dramatic if it was just an off handed comment. She has never made me feel bad about my mental health issues before now and I’ve known her for 8 years. Is talking to her just a form of reassurance seeking?

Hi guys, im kind of spiraling right now because I read on reddit but also in articles that when women take the birth control pill for a long time and get off it they notice that 1) their taste in men changes and 2) their sexual orientation changes (that it was basically masked by the hormones and they are actually into girls). I'm super scared because I believe that SOOCD (or not) started for me at a young age (I remember watching a movie and they zoomed in on a women's legs and I felt something down there and got so scared). So when I started the pill I was about 16 years old and had already experienced SOOCD (if it really is that but I was also diagnosed by a psychologist). But this is when yous tart discovering yoruself. And then I met my now fiancé at 20 (I still had doubts about my sexuality) but I was/am happy with him. I am now trying to handle my SOOCD by saying no one is 100% anything and sexuality is so complex and can be fluid and that today i am choosing to love my bf and its been going ok (the thoughts are still here but without the anxiety so thats fine). I'm 27 now and I'm just scared that once I get off the pill I'll realise that it was never SOOCD, that I was never into guys and it was just the hormones and society and that I will leave my fiancé and ruin everything and would have lost all this time. The most horrible thing is that when I imagine it it feels real and it feels like I'll be happier with a women and I'll just be sad because im losing a friend and not the love of my life. Did it happen with someone here or do you have any advice?

so i have chat got my story and it said that this stuff below don’t fit the hocd pattern anymore since my hocd panic has less being with meds. please help is this not hocd anymore? Vivid, consistent arousal for specific women (dominant/feminine, deep-voiced) that isn’t immediately washed away by panic but sits with you as something you long for. Calm “rightness” imagining a life with a female partner—but when you picture long-term with a man, it feels avoidant or like Butterflies & nervous excitement around female friends/roommates that feels qualitatively different (warmer, more personal). Emotional closeness & jealousy over female friendships, wanting to be their primary confidante, and protective in a way that isn’t immediately interrogated by fear. Comphet reflections that go deeper than “scripted”—you resonate with many comphet signs but still feel something ineffable in your women-focused fantasies that comphet alone doesn’t explain. Enjoying or longing for close emotional bonds with women, sometimes more so than with men • You prefer spending time with your girlfriends, feel emotionally closer to them, and imagine vacations or shared lives with them with a sense of warmth and belonging. • This emotional closeness feels deeper and more authentic than your relationships with men. Feeling avoidant or indifferent about romantic or social activities with men, such as dates, texting, or missing your boyfriend • You notice that you don’t miss your boyfriend when apart, don’t look forward to dates, or feel annoyed during hangouts, which can reflect a lack of emotional investment or romantic attraction to men. Feeling arousal or sexual interest in women that doesn’t trigger panic or immediate compulsive checking Experiencing lack of strong emotional connection or romantic longing for men, even those you dated seriously • You mention not feeling like you “miss” or deeply care about your boyfriend or exes someone help me please

is it possible to even have a relationship while i’m suffering with real event ocd and ocd in general. i’m just so scared they’ll find out everything bad i’ve done and leave me

This obsession is very random and particular, but it revolves around relationship OCD and is causing me a ton of distress. Basically, I found out over the weekend that my ex the one before my current boyfriend is engaged. I promise you Im in a happy and healthy relationship of over 3+ year relationship, and I’m moved on from all of my ex’s. But for some reason when I saw his post, it triggered me and almost hurt my ego if that makes sense? I can’t stop ruminating and looking at his post and announcement of the engagement on Facebook and it’s just upsetting seeing him get engaged because it’s like no you really hurt me and don’t deserve to be happy in my opinion. I know that sounds toxic to say but that’s how I feel. It also hurts me because I was his first serious girlfriend and he didn’t treat me that well and now seeing him all cleaned up looking nice and seeming matured is pissing me off. I know I shouldn’t think about it, but ocd makes that seem almost impossible. Please let me know your thoughts bc I feel like I’m going insane…

I want to get married and I’m scared I might end up being like those female pred because they’re always married!!! I’ve always wanted marriage Because I would feel like i would cheat on my husband because of the thoughts and unwanted urges and the intentional thought at the salon

seriously someone pls give me advice 😭 I think last week I posted about how I have a crush on my friend and how my brain was making me question everything (mostly my sexuality). Well now I know he has a crush on me too and I’m already worrying about not liking him anymore, even though I was thinking about him all day before he confessed to me. I went to look at pictures to make sure I still think he’s attractive and I didn’t feel the same. Now I’m worrying about if I’ll no longer feel attracted to him when we hangout in person. Why can’t I at least have a simple crush? Why must I question everything??? WHY CANT MY BRAIN JUST FUNCTION NORMALLY THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!?? If you have any tips on how to deal with this please let me know 😭.

I did the deed yesterday for girlfriends day and after I finished we felt a little emotional to the point we almost cried and telling my girlfriend that I love her so much and then I said I’m scared of losing her and I wanna be with her forever. And then I started getting scared like what if I don’t like her actually or I don’t love her for real after this and I started panicking and got scared and had anxiety for a bit. Then in the shower after she went home and I told her I would give an arm and a leg for real to be in love with her if I’m not and I felt like crying again after typing all that stuff like that because I wanna be in love with her so bad and I don’t wanna have to leave her

Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..

So I haven’t been on this app in a while. But I just want advice on how to overcome this. I’m now 18 and I’ve been trying out dating apps. I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda picky when it comes to dating only because I plan on dating to marry…so I take it a bit more seriously. But for some reason it’s so hard to click with people on these dating apps. So my friend was helping me through this dating apps process. I told her that I wasn’t interested in this guy I was texting anymore because of the way he was responding to my messages. And she says maybe you’re gay…this is honestly the sixth time (I’m definitely over exaggeration but this isn’t the first time someone had said this to me) someone has ask/said this. Every time someone says this it literally sends me down this spiral of are they seeing something I’m not seeing. Despite never having a crush on a girl my mind goes down this loop of overthinking. And when I say I don’t want that lifestyle or I don’t really find pleasure in being apart of the lgbtq community my mind is like in denial. I just wanted to have a fun teenage dating experience and now every time I open the app I always think what if I really am gay and I’m just in denial…or what if the reason why I’m not connecting with anyone is because I’m really into girls. Since i’m also religious, my mom wants to go what you’re denying who we are because of your religion. And I tried to reassure myself by saying I would know if that was the case like I would feel deep down who I’m truly attracted to and know that I’m trying to cover it up by dating men. This whole thing is so mentally taxing because I was going through this all throughout my senior year of high school and I’m not going into my freshman year of college so. Like I literally felt so much anxiety next to one of my classmates who was gay and a masculine presenting. I feel like if I would’ve told this to anyone, they’d say of course you’re in denial. But ig reply if you can relate

I still do not have an OFFICIAL diagnosis (I dont have the means to do so) but given my symptoms, past and present in my life hugely suggest OCD is what I am dealing with. I cannot be 100 percent certain but after searching for answers and researching for a long time now, I am fairly certain and confident this is what I am struggling with. Given this step forward, I am making more effort into giving up compulsions. at the current moment I believe to be dealing with ROCD, as I have been having several intrusive thoughts that conflict with my relationship. For starters, recently over the past month or 2, I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts like not being over my ex, being attracted to someone else, losing feelings for my partner and not being in love, etc. I can consciously identify that I dont believe these thoughts to be true but it causes me so much distress and anxiety. It gets extremely unbearable some days, and I have leaned into 2 main compulsions. I have relied on thought checking and googling as my source of relief. At first the googling was genuinely to start finding answers; hence why I have made some of the discoveries I have about OCD including this site. But it developed into every time I was anxious, I would whip my phone out and start googling strictly to find an answer that would reassure me or calm me down. As for thought checking, it acted as a way to reaffirm my love for my girlfriend in my head when I have had the thoughts that collide with my relationship and how I feel about my girlfriend. It worked at first but developed into a compulsion where every time a bad thought got me worked up id either do my normal googling or Id think about that in my head to calm myself down. Over time these compulsions have gotten less and less affective and now when I do them it only gets me more anxious and desperate for reassurance (strengthening the cycle or whatever it is lol). I did some more research and finally have accepted the very real fact that I am going to have to sit in heavy anxiety and not give into compulsions for a while in order to treat this. I have to sit in the thoughts that make me feel all this hightened anxiety and distress without giving into compulsion. to be honest I am scared, the thoughts are more rampant than ever, but I am ready to commit to this. I dont think I am gonna be able to go cold turkey on my compulsions so I am ready for the reality I might relapse on the compulsions sometimes, But am gonna keep going until I can break these shackles OCD has on my life right now. I wanna ask, what is everyones methods they use to avoid giving into compulsion when the thoughts get loud? any advice is welcome :)

I really need help rn but I feel like a horrible person. For context: I am on my period right now, 2 hours of sleep last night because cramps were so bad, haven't eaten until now and it's 7pm, had to work all day, so it's kinda just a perfect storm. On top of that my ROCD has lots to latch onto: 1) Me and my bf of almost 2 years just renewed our lease for another year and that just is obviously triggering for ROCD. 2) Somehow the biggest trigger is the fact that he shaved his beard last night, and he often wears a thick beard and when he shaves it's like he shaves 10 years off his face and I feel like I'm dating a teenager. My ROCD is really latching onto this and I'm struggling to feel attracted to him and that's opening a whole Pandora's box of ROCD fixations for me and I HATE that my brain blows up such a tiny thing into the end of the world. On top of that, I'm feeling the INCREDIBLY STRONG URGE to confess (which is a compulsion) to him that I'm having these thoughts but I know that would only give me temporary relief and would make him feel deeply insecure about himself for no good reason. I hate myself and I feel like he loves me unconditionally regardless of how I look and I'm just being so nitpicky and shallow.

My boyfriend of 3 months is leaving for college in 2 weeks and I am terrified. He is picking up a girl on his way that is 12 hours away from where I am and they are driving together to the college. What if he realizes that I am not the right person for him? What if he falls out of love? What if he forgets what me and him have built here? It’s all about the “what ifs” and I don’t know how to stop. I have been praying for weeks now and I know the Lord will work in us to help this but what if my boyfriend is not in my future? I am terrified and have no idea how to stop the spiral.