Post Nut Clarity

I did the deed yesterday for girlfriends day and after I finished we felt a little emotional to the point we almost cried and telling my girlfriend that I love her so much and then I said I’m scared of losing her and I wanna be with her forever. And then I started getting scared like what if I don’t like her actually or I don’t love her for real after this and I started panicking and got scared and had anxiety for a bit. Then in the shower after she went home and I told her I would give an arm and a leg for real to be in love with her if I’m not and I felt like crying again after typing all that stuff like that because I wanna be in love with her so bad and I don’t wanna have to leave her

Relationship OCD

a_raisinbran...

Date posted: 19d

This sounds like OCD twisting a really emotional moment into fear and doubt. But honestly, the fact that you care this much and want to love her so badly says a lot—you do love her. OCD just tries to convince you otherwise. Don’t let it trick you into thinking you need to leave someone you clearly care so deeply about! OCD is strong but we are stronger!

Anonymous 224

Date posted: 19d

@a_raisinbran_original I got a therapist and idk if I have ocd but he says I have ocd but I’m not even sure if I do. But besides that like today I was thinking today and my dad said as a joke she doesn’t love u and it made me think I wish I loved her a lot and I started tearing up a little and sat in sadness. I’m scared that the love we had is based off of lust and not actually love because me and her are really touchy and sexual a lot but I have gotton hurt by her a lot and jealous a lot and cried because I’m scared I’m gonna lose her so is that all lust and post nut clarity is my true feelings?

a_raisinbran...

Date posted: 17d

@Anonymous 224 Firstly, thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share this. I think it’s actually really common for people with OCD (or who are still figuring out if they have it) to feel uncertain about their emotions and question what’s real, especially when it comes to relationships and love. That confusion and doubt can feel overwhelming, and OCD has a way of making everything feel less clear and more intense. What you described: the tearing up, feeling scared of losing her, getting hurt and jealous.. those all sound like very real emotional reactions. Lust and love can exist at the same time, and just because you’re physically close doesn’t mean the feelings aren’t also emotional and meaningful. OCD can twist things and make us doubt what’s genuine. You’re not alone in this. It’s okay to be unsure, and it’s good that you’re working with a therapist. Give yourself space to feel confused without needing to solve everything at once. That’s part of the process.

Anonymous 224

Date posted: 16d

@a_raisinbran_original Yea but I’m scared because I think like can I make a connection outside of the bedroom and can I hangout without doing anything sexual cuz we are young and yk I’ve never had a girlfriend and especially this is my first girlfriend.im 18 it’s hard to not be lustful and I hate that that’s all I want. I want to be enjoying her presence without thinking lustfully. I mean I have gone out a lot with her outside of the bedroom like we’ve gone on dates and stuff. But is the connection based off lust and physical attraction? I’m scared I’m not able to make a connection or don’t wanna make a connection outside of the bedroom. But at the same time I don’t want her to go with another person.

a_raisinbran...

Date posted: 15d

@Anonymous 224 Hey, I hear you. Honestly, what you’re feeling is super common—especially in a first relationship. At 18, it makes total sense that lust feels really strong and kind of overwhelming sometimes. That doesn’t make you a bad person—it just means you’re young and figuring things out. The fact that you’re even asking these questions and wanting more than just the physical stuff really says a lot. You clearly care, and you’re putting in the effort to understand yourself and the relationship. That’s a big deal. Even if things don’t work out long-term, the fact that you’re thinking about this and trying to grow from it shows a lot of maturity. You’re building awareness now that’ll help you not just in this relationship, but in any future ones too. You’re doing the work, and that matters.

Anonymous 224

Date posted: 15d

@a_raisinbran_original But I want this relationship to work out long term. Like hearing that this relationship won’t work long term triggered me a little bit😞

a_raisinbran...

Date posted: 15d

@Anonymous 224 I’m not saying it can’t work out long term. In fact, I think you have what it takes to succeed in this. It’s not just about the physical side of things, even if your mind sometimes tries to convince you otherwise. It’s clear you really care about this person, and that matters. As long as you’re doing your best, staying focused on your mental health, and making sure this doesn’t become an unhealthy fixation tied to your OCD, I believe things will work out the way they’re meant to. Hope this helps!

Anonymous 224

Date posted: 15d

@a_raisinbran_original Thank you I js want everything to go well for me and her

a_raisinbran...

Date posted: 14d

@Anonymous 224 I hope it does! 🙏🏼🩵

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

I feel like I don’t love him sometimes 💔

I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔

Ferrety

Date posted: 15w

Panicky around my girlfriend

I posted the other day and I'm still panicky and nervous around my girlfriend. It all started over a week ago with the first panic attack I've ever had while at the store with her. I looked over during it and saw her face during it. A day later a thought popped in my head that I should "break up with her." I fight the urge every day as it is not something that I want. I don't want to give up on her but the more I fight it the more my body seems to get stressed and anxious. As it stands right now my back is going crazy, tense as anything along with a tight feeling in my stomach and chest. It's causing me so much distress. Is this normal?

Relationship OCD

LiaExe28

Date posted: 15w

Couple of rough days - soocd

I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad

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