ROCD POST

This obsession is very random and particular, but it revolves around relationship OCD and is causing me a ton of distress. Basically, I found out over the weekend that my ex the one before my current boyfriend is engaged. I promise you Im in a happy and healthy relationship of over 3+ year relationship, and I’m moved on from all of my ex’s. But for some reason when I saw his post, it triggered me and almost hurt my ego if that makes sense? I can’t stop ruminating and looking at his post and announcement of the engagement on Facebook and it’s just upsetting seeing him get engaged because it’s like no you really hurt me and don’t deserve to be happy in my opinion. I know that sounds toxic to say but that’s how I feel. It also hurts me because I was his first serious girlfriend and he didn’t treat me that well and now seeing him all cleaned up looking nice and seeming matured is pissing me off. I know I shouldn’t think about it, but ocd makes that seem almost impossible. Please let me know your thoughts bc I feel like I’m going insane…

Pandora_2003

Date posted: 18d

no way me too! im in a happy healthy relationship of 3+ years, over my exes, then i saw a post about him engaged and i was in shock, because he also hurt me real bad, and hurt my relationship in the process, he made me feel like he would never find love again and burdened me with it, just to get married to someone else, it's soooo confusing and makes a lot of sense how ocd would feed off that uncertainty but truth is, you never know what's actually going on, a few months later they got divorced, social media never tells you the full story, it hard to not ruminate on it but it helps to remember that hey you made it out, you are not your past and you don't have to let it define you, hope this helps

relatabletho...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18d

@Pandora_2003 Thank you so much. That helps me a lot. I feel like we are very similar and have the same storyline just off of reading everything you said haha. Me ex would always say, “ even if we break, I couldn’t be with or date anyone else again” so then when he proposed to someone else I was completely caught off guard and confused. And that’s what ocd hates. Today I feel better and I can tell it’s not effecting me as badly. It just hurts when you help prepare someone for the next person and didn’t get treated really well. But you’re right, you never ever know what’s going on on social media and it feels nice to know I’m not alone. Thank you for replying, it means a lot to me.

relatabletho...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18d

@Pandora_2003 we should also be friends if you’d like. It’s nice having someone to talk to about this who understands. Especially ROCD.

Pandora_2003

Date posted: 18d

@relatablethoughts of course! i'm so glad it helped, and omg i can't believe he also made you feel like he'd never find someone, our experience really is similar this guy was the most persistent to be with me more than any guy i ever met, like he tried every trick in the book, just to do that so it definitely messes with you head, im always down for a friend:)

overthinkerh...

Date posted: 18w

ROCD/ Harm OCD

Anyone experience this? I have had OCD for past 9 years, over the course of that time I have had multiple themes from POCD, false memory OCD, contamination OCD the list goes on. Right now I am struggling with the thought that an ex is going to harm me, my family and fiancé. I am about to get married and my fiancé makes me so happy I am in love and finally found the person that truly completes me. However, of course OCD latched onto that. My OCD convinces me that if my ex finds out I’m going to get married that he will harm me and my family. The other day I did a compulsion and looked at my blocked list which my ex and his family and friends are on, I quickly glanced at their little profile pics to make sure they were okay and that they weren’t planning on scheming to harm me and my family and my fiancé. Immediately after I did this I started to freak out, my OCD made me think I was a cheater and that I secretly want to reach out to this ex. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD from that situation because I went through a traumatic experience with this individual and this is what had lead me to believe that he will harm me. Anyone else experience similar?

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w

Help with ROCD

Can anyone relate to this type of ROCD? It’s like i obsess of my partners past, I’ve spent probably 100 hours over the last 3 years asking him about girls he was with before me questioning him about every little detail and seeking reassurance. I don’t want to think about these girls at all. And I’ve been in ERP since August and was doing really good and not sure if it’s just getting bad again the last few days because of the holiday (Easter) and i had to go to his hometown where I know he had a past in and he recently brought a ring which I’m so excited about but it just seems like it’s getting harder for me and i don’t wanna be talking about girls he dated for a few months before me when we are about to get engaged. Am i ruining my future? What can I do to help and to not bring up stuff about the girls before me? How can I be in the moment and not relate everything to an irrelevant girl before me? Help

M_8

Date posted: 7w

ROCD- help please!

My ex boyfriend broke up with me last summer and it was really rough on me even thought we only dated for a little while. He treated me terribly but I guess I wanted it to work. However during the fall I was healing well and met my current boyfriend. I knew him as a kid and we reconnected and started dating. It’s the most WONDERFUL relationship ever and I love him so much. However for the past couple months, on and off, I have been obsessively thinking about my ex, to the point of feeling so sick to my stomach. Just the thought will do it. I have been stopping myself from checking his instagram because that just makes it worse. I do not want me ex back at all and I am so happy now. I recognize these thoughts as intrusive and hurtful. I just want them to stop and be in the moment. Has anyone had a similar experience? What did u do? Also, I want to tell my boyfriend about this but I am unsure on how to do so.

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