is it possible to even have a relationship while i’m suffering with real event ocd and ocd in general. i’m just so scared they’ll find out everything bad i’ve done and leave me
I'm going through exactly this. I feel like everything I've ever done will come to the surface and I'll die in prison knowing that they hate me. Ocd attacks what we love and it attacks what we regret. I take this as a sign that I must really love them.
I have this too. I remind myself that no one is perfect and try to have grace for myself. I also remind myself that if I think one obsession will go away, then another always pops up- OCD will keep pestering so waiting on living life until the anxiety is gone is just another OCD tactic. I do highly recommend having a good set of tools to use to battle the OCD. There’s a self compassion workbook you can buy that’s really helpful for OCD too
@r.m.1 thank you so much what’s it called?
I get the feeling. In the end, I just work on pushing past those worries and focusing on the good things about me as well as the life I want to have. Anything else is less important- certainly not important enough to mean I shouldn't try
having this exact problem rn :/ like i feel undeserving of a relationship at all, especially because of my real events. but i told my therapist abt it and they told me that when i find that person, they’ll understand that i’m not defined by my thoughts or past mistakes. ig at the end of the day just working to better yourself and focusing on the positive is all you can do. i like to at least hold out hope that everything else will fall into place, even if it doesn’t feel feasible sometimes 🫶
Can relate
i’ve been going through this exact situation for a month now and it’s absolutely agonizing. i have so much disgust for myself because of my real event ocd and i’m terrified that if i ever tell my partner about this (or if she finds out another way) she will feel those same feelings of disgust towards me and never look at me the same again. right now i’m working on unconditional self acceptance and self compassion because i know that i cannot control how my partner thinks or feels about me, but i can control how i feel about myself.
If I manage to get a girlfriend will the ocd go away or will it get worse and be combined with rocd aka “what if I don’t actually like her and want to be with a guy” and then it will all go downhill. If that’s the case I don’t think I should start a relationship because I dont want the girl to go through all that.
for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.
Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.
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