is it possible to even have a relationship while i’m suffering with real event ocd and ocd in general. i’m just so scared they’ll find out everything bad i’ve done and leave me
I'm going through exactly this. I feel like everything I've ever done will come to the surface and I'll die in prison knowing that they hate me. Ocd attacks what we love and it attacks what we regret. I take this as a sign that I must really love them.
I have this too. I remind myself that no one is perfect and try to have grace for myself. I also remind myself that if I think one obsession will go away, then another always pops up- OCD will keep pestering so waiting on living life until the anxiety is gone is just another OCD tactic. I do highly recommend having a good set of tools to use to battle the OCD. There’s a self compassion workbook you can buy that’s really helpful for OCD too
@r.m.1 thank you so much what’s it called?
I get the feeling. In the end, I just work on pushing past those worries and focusing on the good things about me as well as the life I want to have. Anything else is less important- certainly not important enough to mean I shouldn't try
having this exact problem rn :/ like i feel undeserving of a relationship at all, especially because of my real events. but i told my therapist abt it and they told me that when i find that person, they’ll understand that i’m not defined by my thoughts or past mistakes. ig at the end of the day just working to better yourself and focusing on the positive is all you can do. i like to at least hold out hope that everything else will fall into place, even if it doesn’t feel feasible sometimes 🫶
Can relate
i’ve been going through this exact situation for a month now and it’s absolutely agonizing. i have so much disgust for myself because of my real event ocd and i’m terrified that if i ever tell my partner about this (or if she finds out another way) she will feel those same feelings of disgust towards me and never look at me the same again. right now i’m working on unconditional self acceptance and self compassion because i know that i cannot control how my partner thinks or feels about me, but i can control how i feel about myself.
i hate ocd so deeply. just a few months ago the idea of moving in ( in the future ) with the love of my life was comforting and it kept me going. the idea of sharing our lives was everything i needed. now because of ocd it feels like a nightmare, im not excited anymore. ocd makes me doubt that im a bad lover, that i wanted to deeply hurt my lover in the past and that i forgot about it. our relationship was the most comforting thing in my life, genuinely a safe place where i could rest, i felt normal around my lover i could let go of the feeling that I'm a monster. now it's terrible, it's all ruined, i feel like we shouldn't be together, it's a genuine nightmare, and it's not because of them, i love them so much they are the most beautiful person i ever met. it's just that not knowing if i wanted to hurt them or not makes me feel like i shouldnt be around them, so insisting on being in their life makes me feel horrified. my therapist says i shouldn't break up with them because this is all ocd. my lover wants to be with me, they always tell me about how they can't wait to live together, i think they r happy and feel loved in this relationship but it doesn't change how i feel. i Just wish i could go back in time idk what to do anymore. this is what i cherished most in my life and i don't have it anymore and i don't know if ill ever get it back
I feel completely unlovable. I have a difficult time getting close to people because of my OCD and I have to force myself to not compulsively seek reassurance. I feel like I’ll never find my person. I’m worried I’ll be an awful wife because of my inability to do anything. I want to show up for my partner, but I feel stuck because of my OCD. I think it’s safer to just be alone.
So I’m really struggling to believe that anyone will want to be in a relationship with me and still love me when they find out about my pocd and intrusive thoughts. I am holding a belief no one can love me with this condition and they will be repulsed by me when they find out. I just don’t know how to shake that feeling and be brave enough to try and share with anyone I’m dating.
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