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I'm tired and can't sleep:( and sad Is there anyone I can talk to please, it's urgent. It's about ROCD

Hey! I read that in order to better manage my OCD and be less worried all the time, I have to be okay with uncertainty. For me, it's coming to term with the fact that I might be attracted to a man someday (I'm a lesbian) even though the thought feels terrifying. I don't have anything against men or against bisexual people obviously it's just not who I am and I'm so so afraid of losing my identity. Anyone got tips on how to be okay with accepting that you can't be 100% sure your worst fear won't turn out to be true?

I’m meeting my bf’s family tomorrow and, should time allow, his coworker friends. Unfortunately I’m approaching my period, so my OCD symptoms are spiking. His friends especially have been a huge trigger for me. I’m really really hoping I can confront this important meeting with a clear and sound mind, but I know the nerves will be there there regardless. Anyone got any tips?

Does anyone ever miss their ex and wonder if it was even the right choice to break up with them and you get the urge to go back? I sometimes feel this way even though I’m with someone new but whenever I miss my ex it makes me question if I even love my current boyfriend or not and sometimes I compare them both when I shouldn’t. I remember being happy about breaking up with my ex as I wasn’t getting the communication I wanted and maybe OCD had something to do with it but I’m not sure. My ex also tried getting me to go back with him when I was talking to someone else at the time not only that but our last call he called me all mad and accusing me of comparing our relationship to the one where I was talking to a guy when really I didn’t even compare them both at all. But it did shook me that he was acting like this but also i understood how hurt he was and I did feel guilty. But it’s just been hard and me missing my ex definitely doesn’t help with questioning if I love my current boyfriend or not as it just adds on more stress. Does anyone else relate to this? If so, how did you move forward?

Hey y’all this is my first post. I’ve known I’ve had ocd for around 6 years now, but haven’t had much specialized help (just a standard therapist, who is great, she suggested this app) I’m mainly just posting to vent and for people to hopefully make me feel a little less alone in my current situation. I’ve developed coping skills for many of my ocd obsessions in the past, but haven’t really made a dent in what I’m realizing is pretty bad ROCD. I was in an abusive relationship for about 4 years, and it was this weird thing where like I would not only be unhappy from the abuse but also have intense ROCD. Which is relevant, because I’m now in a super happy and healthy relationship, but am unfortunately still experiencing ROCD. And of COURSE that makes my brain feel either like love is just never going to work out for me, or that this new relationship is wrong for me, which I know isn’t the case. But it’s just so exhausting feeling like I have this horrible brain fog around my partner half the time. I never felt like this when my partner and I were just best friends for 6 months, and all that’s changed is that she is even sweeter and more attentive to me. This just all sucks so bad, and I think I should talk to a specialist about it.

can NOCD therapists offer sessions that cover other mental health/life issues that i need to work on and fix? like just my day to day life, issues that I'm having with family or my relationship, ext. and school stress? as well as receiving treatment for OCD.

I have a lot stress factors weighing in me, and I've already been in the midst of an OCD flare up so I'm struggling pretty hard right now. My brain is digging so deep to think of anything bad or gross I did when I was younger and I don't know how to handle it. I want to tell it all to my gf but I don't want her to look at me different over weird thoughts when I was younger, but my brain is telling me I'm hiding it and I'm a horrible person. I don't know what to do, I haven't spiraled like this in a long time and I can't get out of my own head going deeper into past thoughts and memories and actions I'm deeply ashamed of.

I can’t help but look at how happy they are and think I never got that, I never got selfies, flowers, treats and treated like a princess and now they are posting it everywhere. His family must like her because he’s changing, he’s not who he was with me and I thought I was brining out the better in him turns out she is. I can’t help but compare myself everyday. I can’t get out of my mood out of my funk, out of this constant stress and pain I’m putting myself in. Everyday it’s literally a battle to get myself out of bed without crying. It’s been a few months now but everyday it hurts. And not because I miss him, I don’t, he treated me shit and I deserve someone better, but because I’m living a shit life, having a shit time, while the people who hurt me get everything they ever want. Why don’t I? I’m sat at work like almost crying because I’m so tired and so done with this shit now. I’m genuinely exhausted and can’t see a single good thing. Why can’t I be happy?

By going through life having no or little OCD symptoms, to having it daily now, it's my belief that OCD is fundamentally a HABIT. Yes, this is simplifying it a lot, but I think that's what it is. Which is why ERP seems to be effective (although I've never done ERP). Like any habit, you have triggers, rewards, cycles, etc. Something triggers an alcoholic to drink, they get rewarded by the high, then they get hangovers, then they get negative effects, etc. Going through this myself -- Years ago, I literally GENERATED my own OCD. I remember how and when. I basically wanted to "come clean" to my girlfriend. Me and her had both done some somewhat shady things in the relationship, and this was me "confessing." Ok so here's what happened and here's what started it all -- so what started out as "confessing," absolutely went it to HYPER CONFESSING, day by day. I would scour my brain, trying to remember EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING I'd ever done "wrong" in the relationship -- however trivial or maybe some weren't as trivial. But the point is, the habit HAD BEEN SET. What started out as good-intentioned "confessing" to "have integrity" in the relationship, grew day by day into my brain interpreting that as "oh this is something you NEED to be doing every day. You NEED to be ruminating. You NEED to be "checking." AND IF YOU DON'T, you will feel SHAME and GUILT. And guess what it? It hasn't stopped since. What happened was it just moved the target. So, what started out as "did I do anything 'wrong' in the relationship" checking, it switched to "did I do anything 'wrong' in life." So that's where I'm at today. Stuck in that loop. Fun times.

Today, I’m just feeling empty and I want to write down my feelings. My (now ex) girlfriend and I had been together for two and a half months, with about a month of talking before that. But it felt like so much longer; I was staying at her house for long periods of time, even while she went to work. She was playful, caring, mature, had quirks that I adored (and still do), and just let me feel like a kid again. It was something I think we both felt coming, but I’m dealing with it very hard right now. And the conversation happened right at the end of an otherwise great day; we just returned from a short two day trip where we explored museums and I just kept holding out hope that things would be ok. I had an amazing time and got a bunch of souvenirs depicting hobbies I really love, but they just feel tainted. She was my first in almost everything: my first girlfriend, my first time caring for someone romantically, my first time sexually, my first heartbreak. We had broken up last night, but I still spent the night with her and we both woke up in good spirits after cuddling for hours. As we were gearing up to get out of bed and for me to leave is when it started feeling real. I broke down crying in her arms and she was so comforting, we kept kissing each other on the cheek and forehead as she wiped away my tears and reminded me that while we aren’t each other’s forever person, it won’t be the last time we see each other. I had told her a couple of weeks ago that I’m not sure I could ever say “I love you” to her, and that in tandem with me moving away few hours away to finish my Masters is I think what did it, even though we had plans of seeing each other consistently. But it feels like a big mistake, as we both agreed right before I left that we truly do care for each other. And I really really do. I feel like ROCD played a part in this. I introduced her to my family and met her mom. Talking to her about anything, even my deepest OCD fears, was met with compassion, and I trusted her. I keep holding out hope that once I move back after my degree or even before then, things will change and she’ll want to get back together. I keep playing back every good moment of our relationship and the conversations we had breaking up. And I even expressed to her that I was still holding out hope, but she rebutted saying she doesn’t think we’re the right fit. My mind is overwhelmed with thoughts of her and every little thing she did, and I just miss her so much. Things were perfectly fine and great earlier this week; we hiked, she helped me move my things around, we kissed a bunch and were intimate. It felt like a switch flipped within a couple of days. Both of us said we had these feelings ebb and flow, but I thought it was just something we could work through. I feel so broken right now and just wish I could collapse into her arms; it feels like a part of me died. We were bonding yesterday at a museum with dinosaurs (something I love) and she let me feel like a kid again, and I just miss that feeling so much. Every time I close my eyes all I can think about is her face and her quirks and everything, and I don’t know how to move forward. I know this is all jumbled; I just kinda wrote things as they came up in my head. Thank you for reading.

Anxious my husband cheated after ten years with a woman he was engaged to several maybe 15 years before I moved from the big city to a small farm town and they are around one another all the time and everyone told me even in our ten years of marriage he’s never gotten over her and he blames me for the cheating and when I quit my job due to stress and a child I was withdrawn and was crabby and not the most pleasant but I didn’t go out and look for someone to talk to at the bar down the street for 4 months like he did I took care of our family

I'm so unhappy and confused. I don't even know if it's rocd. I think I want to break up with him but I don't want to want that. I feel so horrible my perfect boy doesn't deserve that. I want to love him again so badly and I don't want a life without him i just don't think I love him at all and I don't think I'm attracted to him anymore and I don't think I enjoy spending time with him at all. I just want it to go back to normal. I wish this had never happened but when i say I want to love him it f3els like a lie. I miss loving him so badly and I want to love him again I just don't want it to be difficult. It's ruined my whole life. Were almost at a year and I've loved him since I was 11 in 2020. My perfect boy. Why did I wake up one day not loving him. This is so out of character for me, I usually attach myself to people and never let go. Why don't I love him. Why don't I want to love him. What's wrong with me. I don't want to want to breaknup. I need help

Tw porn and incest My boyfriend used to have a porn addiction and I cant get over the fact that he used to watch incest videos. What if he fantasizes about his family? What if he likes to talk to his family about sexual things? (They make sexual jokes sometimes) What if he is attracted to his family members? What if he wishes that he could have sex with them? He’s telling me none of these things are true and that I need to just trust him but how can I truly believe it when I know what sort of stuff he used to get off to. I feel so sick and I don’t want to ruin my relationship over this but what am I supposed to do? I want to fully trust him but how can I? Someone please help. I just want to understand.

Hey guys I’ve been thinking about this all the time, so I told my parents about my condition with my intrusive thoughts and dreams, and they still care and love me, but my mom always says that you should get married if you worry so much, and that will help you, and that she can’t wait when I have children, but I just don’t think any of that will help me, plus I worry so much like if I do find the one I love than how can I tell her of the thoughts and dreams I’ve had, and how can she think I want children at all right now with these thoughts.

im worried that im falling out of love or if I haven't already, then I'm on track to. I don't know what to do

I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough..I’ll always have issues and ocd relapses. My bf needs someone better.

so i wanted to come on here and tell you all about a break through i’ve had. i’ve been in therapy for ocd for 8 months now and i can say and confirm and it has truly changed my life. im still growing and healing, i still get thoughts, i still get my obsessions. but i can resist and ignore compulsions now. as i heal ive noticed the thoughts more, gotten nervous they might mean something. it makes you feel crazy and like your whole journey was a lie and that these have been thoughts all along that are true. i’ve been in an 8 month long relationship since january and with my ocd it has not been easy. many times i felt like i should give up because even though i love my partner, i can’t be with anyone unless im completely healed. but something in me always made me stay. i come back now in august with those same thoughts and i worried that this might that it’s the end or that he truth has come. however something stuck out to me after i read up on the matter more and gained insight. something i learned and will now always instill is that love should be freedom, and feel freeing. freeing to be you, freeing to grow. i realized quickly that ive been free to grow and explore. but ive been holding myself back. not out just of fear but of not realizing that i am my own liferaft. i hadnt begun to step into my true unblocked energy, one that knows and trusts what i need and knows that the universe, god, whatever is above will always align me in places at the right time. this of course, is a balance and not one that needs to be taken immensely serious. in fact we should be taking life less seriously. i say all this to let you all know and instill that as we step into our confidence and trust and instill the outward energy inward. rather than worrying on if they’re right for you, or if you are in the right relationship, or if you feel disconnected or lacking of connection. connect back with yourself first, you be able to understand and see that the only thing holding you back from achieving your goals and dreams with career, self, relationships and more truly lies within you. it’s uncomfortable, it’s hard and it makes us scared to loose the situations that don’t serve us. but once you connect back with the energy and trust you have for yourself, you truly begin to realize you can let people in, everyone including partners are people YOU let in your life and are simply people with other lives that you need not connect to yours in the sense of making personal decisions or dictating your mood. people don’t speak enough on what it means to heal after ocd symptoms go down. you realize it’s about getting through the thoughts to get to the root and do that inward work. it’s still something im working towards. do something you love, go for a walk, read a book, it’s uncomfortable because we’re so used to be preoccupied that when we step back into ourselves we feel like we don’t know ourselves and it’s ocd that tries to take over once again. trust in yourself, your own decision and what you want, feed your mind, and understand we’re all doing this for the first time, but you can handle because you are your liferaft, your safety and you security and peace. i promise it’s life changing. reach out if you need someone to talk to you will get through it💌💗

My friend Jake and k have been hooking up and we were supposed to hang out but he said he was tired so he was going to go to sleep I was upset but I said that I wanted him to get some rest and we can hang out another day but then I walked to get my medicine form the pharmacy he lives right across the street I saw he was having a fire with two girls and a guy that I’m also friends with so he lied to me about going to sleep but whatever. Him and this one girl have been friends for over a decade and so I don’t want to be controlling and tell him to stop hanging out with her because it makes me insecure and also we aren’t seeing eachother and I know they’re friends so blocked her because I knew I would keep obsessing about it and I don’t want to be controlling or crazy to him or her but she asked me why I blocked her and I didn’t tell her why and then I added her back because I felt guilty but I’m worried I have NPD because I think deep down I wish they weren’t friends she is so beautiful and smart and funny and it makes me feel worthleee but that isn’t her fault

someone please reach out im really not doing okay and this is the closest i think ive come to making the decision that ny relationship needs to end but i cant do it. it's gotten so bad that even being around my boyfriend doesn't calm me down or make me feel better out these feelings, it just makes me feel like they're more real. im not confident that I'm just dealing with ocd at all. I'm so worried that my relationship is beyond repair and that I've fallen out of love because of resentment from problems we have. I don't know what love feels like how do I even know and yeah I know lo e isn't a feeling it's a choice but it's so hard to make choices let alone the correct ones when I'm doubting every aspect of our lives and relationship. I don't want to prolong the inevitable and make us both more miserable until we decide to finally end it but I don't want to end it if things can get better and I will feel normal again and in love. not guilty every time I say I love you because then I have the thought that I shouldn't say it because I don't know anymore. How do I talk to him about this. I bring it up but then I gloss it over with a reason that is more understandable and true but less painfu then "I don't know if im falling out of love or even what love feels like and I don't even know myself anymore so I don't know how I feel" and then we kinda comfort eachother until we get too sleepy to stay awake. I know OCD messes with your brain and can make feelings feel so real when they aren't and thoughts that aren't logical make the most sense. I know how it works but having OCD doesn't mean you can't experience the same things other people experience in relationships. So how do you know the difference.

All my life my boyfriends have told me I was too much and too emotional. I feel everything so deeply. Have to express everything I feel and I feel A LOT. It exhausts them. I am currently in a relationship with an amazing guy and I can only see the bad. I hate when he's having his alone time playing video games or on his phone because it leaves me feeling a void and feels like a threat. I know it's irrational but I can't help the fear and resentment I get when he does his own thing and makes me feel alone. Why would he rather do those things then be in the present moment with me ? These thoughts are constant and I cannot be happy no matter how hard I try distracting myself. Does anyone have advice