- Date posted
- 1y
falling out of love?
im worried that im falling out of love or if I haven't already, then I'm on track to. I don't know what to do
im worried that im falling out of love or if I haven't already, then I'm on track to. I don't know what to do
Hello there friend!! I just wanna let you know that I went through this exact same thing about two years ago with my boyfriend at the time and it was really bad and very scary and very confusing. But we started school and I started getting distracted with other things and it started to go away somehow and I was reminded how much I really did love him and that during those times I never didn’t love him, but I didn’t know that this could’ve possibly been OCD, but during those times I would try to buy stuff for him and go out of my way for him to see how my reaction was. I was constantly looking for reassurance from him and almost like other people as well, but you are not alone and you love your partner I promise you!!
@Nguillory Yes, unfortunately, reassuring fellow OCD-ers can be very sneaky. Unfortunately, no one can tell you that you are ‘in love’ with someone, it’s a conscious choice and has evidence to go along with it.
Love isn't always a feeling, it's a choice. As OCD-ers we cannot usually trust our feelings (it's arguable that anyone should, because our feelings are inaccurate representations of what is going on). What we can look at is: are you both safe? Do you both treat each other well? Do you do nice things for eachother? Then that's all you really need in this moment. If not, then you may need to have another look.
It hurts so much to write that. Lately, every time I talk to my boyfriend — whether it’s through text or in person — I feel this deep irritation, like everything he says or does annoys me. Sometimes, it even feels like disgust, and it’s terrifying. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t even feel sadness about not feeling anything… just numb. I look at him and I don’t feel like I used to. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be so sure I loved him, and now I feel like a completely different person — cold, distant, empty. My brain keeps telling me: “You don’t love him anymore. You never did. You’re only staying out of habit.” My mom told me that if I don’t like him anymore, then I’m hurting both him and myself by staying in this. And hearing that broke me. Because that’s exactly what I fear — that I’m faking everything, and I just don’t want to admit the truth. I feel so lost. And I don’t know how to separate my thoughts from reality anymore. All I know is that I want to feel something again — anything. Because right now, all I feel is guilt, fear, and confusion. i used to know these thoughts are just thoughts and that if i didn’t have them i would be so happy but now, i cant think aboyr that bc the thoughts feel too real.
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd
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