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working to conquer OCD
Not looking for any crazy reassurance here but once you start “not engaging”with thoughts, is it common for them to pound you all day still? Do you just keep not engaging all day long for however long it lasts?
Hey guys! I’ve been struggling with constant anxiety and rumination for a few weeks now really it’s been longer than that but I was still working so I was able to get my mind off of it for a little bit. Now I’m waiting to start my new job Monday and have been home alone just ruminating. This theme is that I’m going crazy and need to check myself in somewhere and my thoughts are confusing and don’t make sense sometimes. Idk how to stop it. I haven’t done erp in a few years due to finances. I just want time be able to calm down again. From the time I open my eyes until I can finally get to sleep I’m having panic attack thoughts without the physical racing heart and stuff. Has anyone else experienced this? If so what did you do to help it? I’m not on medication.
I'm 17 and I was just wondering if it's OCD to think all of a sudden ' promise ok your pets life to go from one room to another within 30 seconds.' I used to be really scared and in Hinduism materialistic things (anything from sound sight touch taste smell etc) are ignoranve distracting you from god so I thought that by giving up things like not having chocolate for a day, not listening to music, etc I would be making 'sacrificws' to keep my rabbits alive. But then I started thinking things like 'promise on your rabbits life to eat this sweet for example' even if initially I was avoiding it because pleasures from taste are igorance. But now I keep getting it many times a day 'promise on your rabbits life to do this, do that, etc.' it's really interfering with studying and I have an offer for med school 🙏 but I'm not sure I'll be able to go
Im going crazy, my brain wants me to be morally perfect. I cant have bad thoughts otherwise im afraid i will send out some bad energy to people I broke up with my boyfriend of 10 years and my ocd is hyperfixating on him, everything I do is connected to him and i’m so afraid Also its solar eclipse and that’s stressing me out because of all the energy Also there are a lot of small things going wrong And im just freaking out, my ocd is going through the roof i cant stop it, im afraid of everything Im punishing myself, i cant say certain words of i cant say thing I want to say, i cant do things i want to do, i want to cry but my tears are not coming
I'm stuck. My compulsions always centered around expelling all anxiety from myself, but now I've found something external that can't be neutralised - completely ego-dystonic centered around the most horrific thing I've encountered in my life and the thought that someone could know I had watched it and thought I was genuinely into it sexually. I always clung to this idea that I could expel enough anxiety that it wasn't bothering me. Wouldn't be perfect, but I could at least get rid of it enough to function well. But this has knocked me down completely: This is a thought that will always cause me anxiety anytime I think it, every social situation, every day at work is a ticking time bomb where I feel I have to avoid it. There's positives. I've learned a lot about my compulsions around perfectionism socially. After the anxiety passes I'm still confident, I'm still funny, it doesn't affect my personality. I know it isn't me. But I can't laugh off the subject matter like I would normally do, and no matter what I do I will always be able to think something that causes me anxiety on this. And when it does, my anxiety slaughters me. It throws me cognitively, if I've eaten anything, I get to taste it twice; that happened yesterday - Thankfully I have a great relationship with my manager and team leader so could convince them to keep it between us and keep working but the moment you feel your stomach go and the saliva starts to come, it's coming up whether you want it or not. The anxiety spike hits me when I wake up in the night, stopping me sleeping. When I'm enjoying myself 'too much, it brings it up to put me in my place. When I go to the gym or out with friends, the fear of the anxiety hits me. It's actually not even the situation anymore, it's the anxiety about the anxiety. But I've watched myself slide backwards from all the incredible progress I've made. I've made mistake after mistake feeding compulsions I never should've done, all the time working towards a different compulsion that I thought would magically fix all this. That's the most insidious thing about OCD. The more you try to fix it, the worse it gets. I've never had this before. Never something external that can't be resolved. I can't sleep much. Can't eat a lot. Watching my muscle mass deteriorate. What if it happens on a date? What if it happens in an interview? Why this? Why did my OCD latch on to something this disgusting (That one probably answers itself actually haha). Either this helps me finally realise that not all thoughts are meant to be resolved, reveals more about the OCD and helps me improve. Or it doesn't. Anyone had anything like this? A period of sustained downhill with the OCD that you pulled out of? Something external that you couldn't ever get confirmation of, but helped you in the end? Maybe didn't, but you still soldiered on anyway. Just looking for a little optimism tbh.
Sometimes i worry that i dont really have ocd or any mental illness and that im just tryna victimize myself. Ive been commenting on so many peoples posts since i got this app (today) but im worried that its because of my ego, thinking i know everything or that “im such a good person cus i wanna help people”. Sometimes i convince myself my suffering is deserved. I dont think it is but i wonder if thats just me being self serving. Like everyone has a bad side right?? Why do i suppress mine so bad does that mean im secretly horrible?
How do you improve on Self Esteem when you are disgusted with yourself because of your intrusive thoughts?!?!
Does anyone ever worry that they’re inherently a bad person just waiting to do something horrific?
Does anyone else ever question if/doubt that their feelings are real? I've been doing that near constantly for a long time now, and it causes a LOT of distress (at least I THINK it's distress). Lately when I feel spiritual and read my scriptures, pray, or watch a religious message, or get the urge to, my brain says, "What if you're only doing this out of compulsion, not cuz you really want to?? What if your spiritual feelings are fake?" It hurts a lot to feel that way. Years ago my OCD was causing me to do insane scrupulous rituals, and in the aftermath, my concept of OCD rituals and healthy, spiritually uplifting rituals got crossed. :/ Like, "Is that the Holy Ghost or are you just being mentally ill again?" There are other feelings that my brains doubts, but spiritual ones are the most distressing.
Is it reassurance if I tell myself “if it happened the way you think it did then you would have remembered it without a doubt” the first part of my memory is real and when I first thought of it there was a feeling of shame attached. Now I’m been wondering if more happened or if i’m choosing to forget the horrible parts but I feel like if more happened then there would be shame attached to that too therefore i’d remember it.
Does ocd put these types of thoughts in your head about anyone that’s even remotely attractive… stuff like “they look good or would look good naked” and puts images there of them people like I don’t want to think this stuff it makes me feel actually disgusting. Especially when it’s saying it about people from my past I don’t want to think this stuff at all. I hate this illness. How am I meant to ignore these thoughts I feel horrible I love my boyfriend so much
Anymore. Does it mean it’s not ocd? I’m just frustrated. Those thoughts are different from who I was, but I’m not feeling like myself anymore. Anyway it should pass, but it’s so so so hard. I feel like I survive everyday. 😭
Sometimes after I’ve done something „risky“ on my phone or something that makes me uncomfortable or leaves me insecure, I go on this app here to read/like/comment. This might be a compulsion.
I've been living with OCD for over a decade now. I've tried various methods, seen therapists for several years (and still am), started taking medication in the recent months, and turned to Christianity, hoping to harness the power of religion to aid myself. I've tried all sorts of approaches. What I want to say is that many times, I've felt these methods were helpful, especially since I began taking medication in the past few months. However, I still experience lapses every so often, like in the last four days where I've spent most of my days ruminating. I'm feeling quite down at the moment. Previously, during lapses, I would remind myself to look on the bright side and live in the moment, starting self-care right from the now. But having it continue for four days straight, I've really started to lose some of my confidence. I wonder why, despite doing so much, I still experience such severe lapses. And now, I find myself somewhat unwilling to come out of it. I hope you all can offer me some words of encouragement. Thank you!
My obsession is so obscure and specific and I’m sure no one else has it bc every time I Google it no one relates so it’s making me think that it’s not an obsession and I’ll never overcome it. I just wish I could go back in time when I didn’t have this obsession
Is NOCD super expensive? I told my dad I really need some help and he offered to help me find online therapy. I have looked at betterhelp a little bit nervous they can’t help me, has anyone used them? Any other recommendations. I have no diagnosis of anything and never been to a therapist so I don’t even know if this is actually OCD that I’m dealing with. I’m dealing with intrusive thoughts and images, ruminating a lot on the past and worried I was a really bad person in my teens without realizing. I don’t know where to go to find help, my father is paying so I don’t want his money to be wasted and I have no idea what to do.
I have intrusive urges and thoughts come into my head how do stop them ? Or accept them ? 🙏
So I've been doing a lot of introspection in order to FastTrack my recovery for OCD. I am now finally able to share to you guys what I came up with, and I know this is gonna help a lot of people on this forum if you take this seriously. Its called the AUL principle. To remember this better, think of someone from the American south pronouncing the word "All" Here's how it works by letter: Awareness: become totally aware of your intrusive thoughts. DO NOT try to hide the intrusive thoughts through compulsions and reassurance. This is obviously the hardest step because the thoughts are so vile, heartless, destructive that we just want to turn away and run from them. But don't, confront the fears. Uncertainty: live with the fact that you don't know what is going to happen to you. For example, if you worry that someone is gonna hurt you if you go to the store, think "maybe I will get hurt" "maybe I won't" live with the fact that we don't know what is going to happen to use every second of our lives. Lack of caring: after completing the first two examples, your brain should simmer down and you can live on with your life without obsessing. This will take a lot of practice and mental fortitude, as well as a support group of people who know not to ressassure you, which will bring back the OCD. I myself didn't want to change my behaviors because everyone in my life treated me like absolute garbage or was being way to reassuring. It was not until I was court ordered a therapist who wasn't either of those things I wanted to improve myself This is a better way of thinking about ERP at least in my mind. Hope this helps someone
I recently discovered that I have maladaptive daydreaming disorder which is common for people who have OCD. I was diagnosed with Pure OCD six years ago but I felt that there was something different about my condition. My compulsions were daydreams and fantasizing about changing past events. I would do this on a loop and this behavior could last for hours. Has anyone else discovered this about themselves?
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OCD doesn't have to
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