Sometimes after I’ve done something „risky“ on my phone or something that makes me uncomfortable or leaves me insecure, I go on this app here to read/like/comment. This might be a compulsion.
Yeh, it might be. Take a break for a few days and see if it triggers you when you don't. You'll get your answer. It doesn't mean you have to stop using the app all together, just change the relationship with it
@Wolfram Good idea
Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.
Anyone have any tips on not making ERP a compulsion? I find myself sometimes wanting to do exposures in order to make myself feel better (feel my anxiety go down and feel relief). 😅
I don't know if this is exactly a compulsion, but for a few months I had this mindset of "I have to be anxious so that nothing bad will happen." It was mostly when I went out in any way. Sometimes it was for other people too. For example if my mom went to the store/to get food without me. This was mostly during the time when I had been staying inside constantly for a little over a month. Idk if it was an exact cause but I had seen someone who FOLLOWED me last year, hence why I was staying inside. I guess I just want to know if this is common? I know that the whole "if I do this, then this won't happen" thing is common in ocd, but idk how common it is to somewhat force yourself to be anxious.
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