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My ocd is making me think I actually want to commit these hanus acts and I’m scared it’s something I actually want to do but I don’t want to do it and I’d never let myself

I’m really pushing myself to do exposures on my own and though I know logically it’s the right thing to do it’s so incredibly hard. I’ve overcome so many triggers and I know this is possible but it’s taking everything in me not to give into compulsions. Every second ocd is trying to grab me and lead me down the rabbit hole and it’s an exhausting fight. Just looking for words of encouragement ❤️

I am recovering from a pretty intense relapse with my OCD and it’s left me with different desires for my future. I have always wanted a family, but I am so deeply afraid of relapsing when I am married or have kids. I can’t even take care of myself when I’m like that much less children or hold a job. I’m afraid if it comes back I’ll ruin everything I’ve worked for and ever wanted. It petrifies me that it comes with out warning. I don’t want to get close to people in fear they will catch me at a time as such

My husband thinks he knows so much about OCD, like he’s an expert or something. I really struggle with confessing things with OCD, but any time I go to talk to my husband about something that actually happened and is not just a false memory, he doesn’t let me talk to him about it, but I just need him to know what happened. Of course, I know that I am probably blowing the thing that happened out of proportion, but how do I navigate this? He won’t let me talk to him about anything related to OCD really because he thinks I’m constantly “confessing” things to him.

anyone else get nervous to “look too deeply” into themselves bc of the intrusive thoughts and lies that arise from ocd? when i analyze myself too deeply ocd will tell me that i’m something i’m not

I’m exhausted and feel alone with my ocd. I’ve had it for 17 years and still feel like I need to beat it but I’m never going to get to that point and then if I’m starting to get better it feels unsettling. Can anyone relate? 💜

If I think all things done wrong are personal failures for erp are they going to make me do personal failures?

I am at my witts end with struggling with this. I can't talk to my partner because they don't seem to understand what I'm going through. Not sure how to tell them they are triggering me when they talk about certain things that make the OCD rise in me. Life has been incredibly stressful. I'm ready to give up on everything.

Who am I if not my thoughts, sensations, feelings, or urges? I know some people say you are your values or you are your actions. However, aren’t your values and actions dependent on your thoughts, feelings, urges, and sensations? How can actions and values even arise without dependence on either a thought, feeling, sensations, or urge?

My problem sounds kinda silly in comparison to others here, but I must say it plagues my daily life so so much that I just need to share it. It would be great if I could get a few advice here. I was diagnosed with OCD a few years back, although the symptoms started quite a few more years back. It’s nothing too serious, but it takes me almost an hour to use the toilet (not bathing). What takes so much time? Cleaning myself and washing my hands mostly. I repeat a set of…what the doctor termed as ‘rituals’ I perceive as ‘necessary’ to wash my hands properly. If I do not complete them, the back of my mind screams “You’re still unclean!”. Even if I manage to avoid my compulsions for one day, on the next, it doesn’t become any easier. A brutal cycle of obsessions and compulsions that needs to be broken every day, but I can’t. I can speed up my ‘rituals’, but not avoid them entirely. This means the time I need in the toilet is still around 45 minutes to an hour. On my worst days, it has even gone for two and a half hours at a time. Although I can continue like this at home, but soon I need to move to college. I know college and dorm life won’t be any kinder to me with this disability of mine. Neither will I be given so much time inside shared washrooms, nor can I avoid the vicious bullying that may come with it. The latter is mostly my assumption, but even normal students face ragging in college; it’s a fact. I would be really glad if anyone with similar conditions who has spent life in dorms alongside peers could share their experiences. How to manage the demon of OCD and how can I survive dorm life? I’m already scared of rumours of ragging I heard from my seniors, but this disability of mine makes life so much worse. I’m really afraid of what the future holds for me.

I’m aware I have ocd and with logic I can see that I shouldn’t be worried and I have things to do and things I’m happy about but I have what ifs in the back of my mind. It’s like following me around and it’s so scary not to mental check or act on it in some way. I know I should move forward but I’m scared to. I think hormones are flaring it up. I’m just catastrophizing or whatever in the back of my mind. I wanna be happy so badly and move on so I can feel free

what do you guys do when it feels so real? i’m doubting everything i ever knew, this is terrifying. it feels so real. stuff i used to be certain about i have no idea anymore.

Does anyone ever have really good days where you think all these thoughts were just silly and then suddenly everything hits you and you can't escape? Do you also question whether it's really OCD or not?

I have a list of people I’ve “raped” or atleast think I’ve raped and it includes children back from when I was a childcare teacher and it’s killing me, i have these memories of these things happening and these flashbacks of maybe me hurting someone and I can’t tell what’s real and what my brain is making up. It physically hurts me to think I might’ve done these things and I can’t live with myself

How do you know if it’s your ocd blowing something out of proportion or it’s actually as serious as you think. Like I want to believe that I’m just over thinking, over-worrying, and catastrophizing, but the thought that I could just be minimizing something or or just biding my time until something horrible is preventing me from being able to manage my ocd.

I literally get these symptoms right after rumination. Does anyone else? It's gotten worse lately. I think it could / likely be related to anxiety but the concern it's gotten progressively worse, to the point where I can't even concentrate a lot of the time. Alzheimer runs in the my family so now I'm worried about that crap. Like I feel like my brain itself has freakin changed (for the worse). Worse memory (because of constant memory checking), worse imagination, more stress, etc. And now daily brain fog, headaches, dizziness, etc.

I know with OCD the more you interact with your thoughts, the worse it gets. However, it is extremely difficult for me to just ignore the thoughts because if I just ignore them, I feel like a bad person for not making sure they won’t come true. Does that make sense. It’s like if I ruminate, I spiral and if I don’t ruminate, I have this lingering feeling of guilt and dread for having such terrible thoughts until I eventually give in ruminate for however long until I finally feel better which is mentally exhausting. Does anyone have any advice?

There is a lot of confusion with some aspects of recovery for a lot of people. I was there too and it's a struggle to know what's good and bad for ocd and why. It's an additional struggle putting it into practice as your brain doesn't trust the new info or perceptions at first. Can you please list or bullet point stuff that you see or hear about ocd that helps but don't know why or don't think you understand? I'm going to try make a detailed post on each one I can help with and maybe post resources such as YouTube videos. I want the misconceptions to be addressed. Ocd thrives on doubt. We shouldn't be doubting the information that will ultimately get us better. I'll post gradually over the week.

does anyone have this theme of ocd that makes you resent or even hate the thing you deeply love and enjoy? i don’t have an official diagnosis but i believe to be autistic and there are this book series that are my favorite thing in the world and i take a lot of pleasure in re-reading them and other works by the author. i’ve enjoyed her works for couple of years now. but since last week i have this very torturous anxiety that makes me actually believe that i actually hate her works and her writing style which seems so absurdly false. i try to reason with this feeling because it’s foolish and isn’t a matter of life and death but feels like one. if someone had some like things i’d really appreciate advices because this whole situation is upsetting me so much i’m losing any hope of ever going back to how things were before

Explain to me what reassurance is to you. Explain why it's bad for ocd compared to other mental health issues and brain disorders. I keep seeing that reassurance is bad everywhere but feel like the majority don't understand what it is or why it's bad. Don't be scared to put down a wrong answer, give it a go. This to help the nocd community learn as a whole.