anyone else get nervous to “look too deeply” into themselves bc of the intrusive thoughts and lies that arise from ocd? when i analyze myself too deeply ocd will tell me that i’m something i’m not
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If you're talking about trying to analyze your mind, that's definitely not going to be helpful because OCD hijacks our cognitive process and there's nothing we need to "figure out" about our OCD thoughts. But if you're talking about meditating or putting awareness inwards, then you're meeting anxiety where it's at. If intrusive thoughts arise, know that it's your mind trying to protect you, it's a false alarm. Your true nature is the silent awareness that watches your thoughts -- you are not your thoughts or your mind. I wish you the best <3
@perasperaadastra thanks! it’s more of me trying to analyze a physical feeling, which i suppose it the same thing. because i analyze my feelings and anxiety (along with intrusive thoughts) arise
@snowflakes Yup, I’d say that analysing (thoughts, emotions, reactions, physical sensations etc) is a compulsion. It’s not dangerous in the sense that you’ll discover something awful in yourself (that’s just ocd nonsense) but it’s “dangerous” in that it will only feed your ocd. Thinking itself isn’t dangerous. So allow yourself to think, to notice things, let your thoughts and emotions be there. It’s safe to experience them all. BUT it’s important not to automatically accept every thought and emotion as truth. (That’s where ocd is trying to go) We have thousands of thoughts a day and most are nonsense, or just background noise we don’t even remember 5 min later. And a lot of it is random. They say nothing about who you are. Because everyone has thoughts and feelings they don’t like or that make them uncomfortable at times. Literally everyone. Your reaction to the thoughts and feelings you don’t want (analysing them, from the assumption there’s something bad about you) is what’s causing your anxiety. So I’d say to try and find a way to expose yourself to your own thoughts and let them be there. Don’t analyse them but also don’t push them away. Let them be there without you doing anything with them.
Yeah I experience this but also in an outward sense too, I don’t want to analyze anything too deeply because I get myself scared. If I find out something uncomfortable my OCD kinda makes me think that the existence of a bad thing taints all life and all existence is bad… I know it’s not true but it gets me freaked out. It’s a weird symptom that only started happening recently. I used to be very happy with my curiosity, but now I’m a little afraid of it because when I reach a point of confusion I spiral
Does anyone had or have the existential fear of our brain functions. I have so much hyperawareness in my thoughts, I focus all the time in my feelings and my intentions in order to check if I am strange or not and if I have control of my actions. I do psychotherapy 4 years and I thought I was fine. But this June I had a derealization episode(or ocd) , after that a depersonalization episode (or ocd) and after that I have obsessions about our existence and that every aspect in our lives has to do with our brain and for some reason these thoughts scary me. I know that at some point is ocd but I am very confused why this thoughts scary me so much. I observe others and I am curious how it's possible not to think about that and this make it worse . I am so anxious because obviously we are our brain ,I know that and brain has to do with everything,but I don't know why it make me anxious and if it's possible to live without these thoughts. I do many compulsion but my biggest is to figure out if I have compulsion in order to figure out if my thoughts is ocd or delusions. It's so real and these thoughts really bother me. Any other with same experience?
When i see something, get reminded of something or talk to someone that triggers my train of thoughts, i feel a sudden racing spike in my heart, a knot in my stomach, kind of like that nervous butterfly feeling you get when you’re on a rollercoaster thats about to go downhill, or when you get jump-scared. My hands start to sweat and i just want to remove myself from the situation asap, wishing i felt the way i did about 2 minutes ago when i was doing just fine and wasn’t overthinking for once. The OCD goes wild in my head, instant overanalysis, sending me down into a spiral, making me want to dig a hole and hide in there until i somehow manage to persuade myself im not a bad person before I can go about with my day with ease again.
What if I am what my OCD says? What if I am deep down a horrible monster and my ocd has been right all along and I’ve just been trying to fight it and deny that I am what it says?
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