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Does anyone experience physical confidence issues that might be related to OCD?

I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough..I’ll always have issues and ocd relapses. My bf needs someone better.

so i wanted to come on here and tell you all about a break through i’ve had. i’ve been in therapy for ocd for 8 months now and i can say and confirm and it has truly changed my life. im still growing and healing, i still get thoughts, i still get my obsessions. but i can resist and ignore compulsions now. as i heal ive noticed the thoughts more, gotten nervous they might mean something. it makes you feel crazy and like your whole journey was a lie and that these have been thoughts all along that are true. i’ve been in an 8 month long relationship since january and with my ocd it has not been easy. many times i felt like i should give up because even though i love my partner, i can’t be with anyone unless im completely healed. but something in me always made me stay. i come back now in august with those same thoughts and i worried that this might that it’s the end or that he truth has come. however something stuck out to me after i read up on the matter more and gained insight. something i learned and will now always instill is that love should be freedom, and feel freeing. freeing to be you, freeing to grow. i realized quickly that ive been free to grow and explore. but ive been holding myself back. not out just of fear but of not realizing that i am my own liferaft. i hadnt begun to step into my true unblocked energy, one that knows and trusts what i need and knows that the universe, god, whatever is above will always align me in places at the right time. this of course, is a balance and not one that needs to be taken immensely serious. in fact we should be taking life less seriously. i say all this to let you all know and instill that as we step into our confidence and trust and instill the outward energy inward. rather than worrying on if they’re right for you, or if you are in the right relationship, or if you feel disconnected or lacking of connection. connect back with yourself first, you be able to understand and see that the only thing holding you back from achieving your goals and dreams with career, self, relationships and more truly lies within you. it’s uncomfortable, it’s hard and it makes us scared to loose the situations that don’t serve us. but once you connect back with the energy and trust you have for yourself, you truly begin to realize you can let people in, everyone including partners are people YOU let in your life and are simply people with other lives that you need not connect to yours in the sense of making personal decisions or dictating your mood. people don’t speak enough on what it means to heal after ocd symptoms go down. you realize it’s about getting through the thoughts to get to the root and do that inward work. it’s still something im working towards. do something you love, go for a walk, read a book, it’s uncomfortable because we’re so used to be preoccupied that when we step back into ourselves we feel like we don’t know ourselves and it’s ocd that tries to take over once again. trust in yourself, your own decision and what you want, feed your mind, and understand we’re all doing this for the first time, but you can handle because you are your liferaft, your safety and you security and peace. i promise it’s life changing. reach out if you need someone to talk to you will get through it💌💗

Any help or tips?

I’ve done many things in my past that I regret heavily, and I can’t get over it.. I really can’t no matter what.. One being that when I was 14, I was making inappropriate comments and jokes to my friends/partners who were 1-2 years younger than me, and I feel so disgusted that I did this, why did I do this, I’m a horrible person, I don’t deserve anything…. Important to note: yes, at the time I didn’t know any better, I really didn’t, i remember it being really normalized, NOT an excuse but an explanation.. but, I regret being that way so badly, because it’s so gross I can’t believe I was so stupid… and I still see kids nowadays make jokes and comments to their friends/partners like this?? Why is it still normalized…

i have always kept my struggles with ocd from friends and family, except for my parents, but they don’t know everything about it either. i guess what im looking for is advice, reassurance, someone who can relate, or someone to explain what is going on with me. recently i have had a terrible problem with grinding my teeth a certain way on the left side and then the right side to make it “even” and it has become a habit. i can never put my right sock on before my left sock and i can never put my right leg in first when putting pants on… if i don’t always put my left before my right i can’t help but feel like it is a part of some sort of butterfly effect where everything will spiral if i don’t follow my normal steps. i constantly pick at my skin and my eyebrows because i can’t stand feeling unkept. i take 2 showers a day whenever i feel “dirty” and i have a very specific routine. whenever i look at windows, doors, doorframes, picture frames, tvs, or anything with an outline i count it. i count how many sides there are, how many corners there are, how many panes are in a glass window, etc. in school i have trouble focusing because i count ceiling and floor tiles. i struggle taking tests occasionally because if i read the directions or question in the “wrong tone” in my head, then i will most definitely get the question wrong and fail. this causes me to re-read over and over again until it feels right, and i end up running out of time and having to make up tests that i didn’t finish. i believe my ocd and perfectionism ultimately lead me to bad places in my mind. i struggle with standards and expectations mentally due to my ocd. i fear that i will never be understood, even by my own self. sometimes i scare myself because i get random images of people inflicting harm on others or on me. years ago when i first acknowledged my ocd, i became very depressed. i felt different in a bad way, like people could read my mind and know what was going on and think i’m a bad person. i am generally popular with people now, i am an excellent student, and i am beautiful, but i have always struggled. i have no idea how to take care of myself and i have no one with similar experiences. i just downloaded this app and i am really glad i get to rant so i hope someone listens to me and my struggles with ocd. thank you.

I recently had a bunch of life changes in the past 4 months: selling my home after a flood scare, moving to a new state, ending a year long romantic situationship with a coworker, finding a new job because I couldn’t stand interacting with them anymore (I start Monday), and then one of my best friends has pulled away immensely and I feel like our friendship is over. I also had a support system with two older women at work but I feel like I lost that now too because I left. I think because of all this I am having one of the worst OCD flare up’s of my life. I’m typically very social and outgoing. But I’m in my new apartment and feel like I can’t leave my room, I don’t want to explore my new neighborhood, or do anything. I just feel paralyzed inside my brain. Either I’m ruminating about one of the above situations and convincing myself I’m a bad person who doesn’t deserve stability in life, and that my life is bound to be a cycle of always starting over and pain. Or I have horrible intrusive thoughts (I imagined trimming my cat’s whiskers and then accidentally cutting his head off with scissors). I feel really hopeless because I had taken leave from my previous job for 8 weeks and now start a new job Monday but I’m panicking I’m never going to be functioning well again and I’m bound to fail at this new job. I can’t stop crying because I just want my old life back, or at least my old self back where I felt like this was a small part of my life. Right now I’m consumed by my OCD. I tried ERP when I first moved and had a complete meltdown (crying non-stop, feeling hopeless) which resulted in me taking leave from work. At this point I was working remote because I moved to a new state vs working in office everyday but still struggled even digitally interacting with my coworker I had been involved with. Leave helped a lot and I was able to have some better days, interview and find a new job, but the impending start of the new job has snapped something in me. I also just am paranoid I’ve messed up my whole life by moving, or by finding a new job, or by ever being involved with a coworker that I just keep analyzing everything but feeling scared that my life is ruined. I keep imagining everyone at work talking about me being crazy or weak for not being able to work with my coworker but every time i had interacted with him it caused horrible OCD spirals of rumination and awful instructive thoughts. I’ve found when romantic things end for me I need complete separation in order to move on but I think my bosses are disappointed in me for not being able to push through. I also am so hurt because my best friend of 7 years had lived in the house I owned and was supportive originally about me selling it after a flood scare. But as time went on she got distant and cold. And I think she was resentful I was leaving and she needed to find a new place. She also tried to have her new boyfriend’s family buy the house but unfortunately their offer wasn’t the highest one but I think she was mad I didn’t just take their offer. We had been friends for so long and i had always been there for her when things in her life fell apart. For me, I feel like this was the first major time I needed support past just a heart to heart but consistent support and I feel like she abandoned me. My other friends really stepped up and check in on me frequently and talk me through things but we’ve barely spoken since I’ve moved and I’m so hurt. In the end I had to pack up all of our shared stuff and sort it without her because she refused to help. It was so hurtful because I was just already heartbroken, and feeling alone, and scared about my future for work. Idk I think I just need hope that things will get better because I feel really alone and scared rn

anyone else feel like theyve made too many mistakes in their short time being alive, to the point you just feel like *you* are the mistake? i sit and obsess all the time about the mistakes ive made growing up (im only 20, suffered with ocd since i was 15). i just feel like i used to always make these mistakes and i know most of them came from ignorance as a child but it makes me question everything about myself. it often makes me feel suicidal, that the world is better off without me. i come on here to try and make people feel better and offer support and advice when in reality, i have no grasp on my own ocd. i sit and obsess 24/7, i struggle with mindfulness, and my head is the worst place to live. its just the idea that my mistakes have impacted people, any lies i came up with, how thats impacted people (its probably not even a lot but the possibility is terrifying). ever since i was diagnosed, i have a thing for responsibility, i take on so much of it, and punish myself excessively. im very tired of fighting with myself. im tired of obsessing and doing compulsions to stop the anxiety. i just want it to stop.

Can anyone tell me usually why or when ocd first occurs? Is it trauma from childhood? Or do people randomly wake up one day and have developed it?…. I can’t remember the first time I started/developed it, but I must’ve been like in 5th grade… I come from a Hispanic household where unfortunately a lot of these households don’t “believe” in therapy or a counselor or mental illness’. I knew something was wrong with myself but I never knew how to express it. I just thought I was actually a crazy person & wasnt “normal” as others. Until this year I started seeing a therapist & he really made me feel like I was not alone. Due to insurance purposes I had to stop seeing him. I don’t think I’ve gotten better I’ve just gotten heard…but the only positive thing about it is that I can hide it very well now, a lot of ppl wouldn’t know vs in the past I had people catch me doing “weird” things. (Very repetitive stuff, fixing things, the list goes on & on). I had to learn to manage & “hide” what I was doing because my kiddos were catching on & would ask me what or why I was doing it, for example “repetitive stuff” lol . I really want it to go away, although I have managed my ticks & triggers, it’s still always in my mind, it stops me from having fun family time, stops me from doing my work at work or doing things or even speaking in a “normal” speed way. For example telling a story or when talking, I have the need to say every single detail, I get side tracked a lot & have to explain those details then it just goes & goes I take forever to say what ima say , it takes me a long time to get to the point like this whole post here it started with a question & now idk what my point was no more 😂 ps. I love making jokes about it to myself to keep myself positive, my close family knows and they’re supportive, it’s all love. I just wish it can actually go away I am concerned it will always be with me…

I put so much pressure on myself to be positive and happy. I hold myself to higher standards then I do others because I wanna be perfect, then break down at my every mistake. I'm horrible at setting boundaries but in a way I've dug myself a grave. At this point it feels like people assume I'm happy all the time and don't bother to ask if I'm okay. Or if I seem quiet they leave me be. At first I liked this now I do not. Any time I try to set a boundary with ANYONE, I'll be like hey when ya talk about that it makes me anxious or could you no do this it hurts my feelings or just plain please stop, people say okay and their sorry but it never seems to stick. The most I've done is say it again but it's frustrating. Feels like people just walk all over me and or barely listen Slash hear a word I say. I'm tired of some things I have made very clear not to do when I'm really anxious. They try to help and they will do certain things that make it worse, and I express this then they do it again. I find people belittle what I got through saying the thoughts I experience are clearly OCD, and easy to differentiate from typical worries or average thoughts. But they don't realize how stuck I feel bo matter how much I tell them. My brain doesn't have an off switch, I can't turn it off just like that and feel at easy. And even if the thought seems stupid and illogical, to them or even me it still hurts and bothers me deeply. There have been times where I do compulsions and people get mad and say it's excuses and I gotta stop and I try to explain and or try not to do it and end up feeling guilty. I want people to listen and actually care. I don't like the feeling I get when I'm worried. A weird tingle in my chest that grows and stretches throughout my body depending on how bad of a worry. Those "silly, stupid, ridiculous, crazy, nonsense" worries I get, wheather or not I know those claims are true, cut deep and it feels like I can't escape. My chest feeling gets stronger, I get alot of energy in my arms and legs and or they feel shakey, it feels like I can't breathe, I wanna burst out crying but depending on where I am that may not be an option, I'm tired of staying quiet due to the fear of upsetting someone without intention, and I hate hyperventilating or tossing and turning when trying to sleep and these thoughts hit me like a ton of bricks over and over. OCD is not my fault I know that. But part of me wonders why me of all people have to have it, although I don't wish it on anyone. If it meant nobody else would ever have to experience my OCD or OCD in general I would take all the power of everyone's OCD and take it myself. I like to think OCD gave me empathy, the one perk it came with in my eyes. One day I hope to be a therapist who can help people. And the little kids with OCD who wanna understand and get help, like I once was. I wanna be taken seriously, I don't wanna be a doormat, I don't wanna be a puppet on my OCD's strings, I want people to understand more then they do or atleast listen to me more then they do. I wanna be calm for more then minutes, and without intense stress when I realize how long I've been relaxed and how odd that is. I feel bad for my younger self. Ik she wanted to grow up and be okay. But I'm not. I have made progress. When I was little I constantly thought I was dying. And then I said in middle school that I'd be dead by highschool. But I'm about to start grade 12

I’ve really been struggling the past couple days or even weeks. It’s hard to control my ocd because it’s causing sick strong anxiety. I’ve struggled with anxiety for what feels like only a few years but it has definitely been longer than that. It got really bad during Covid because I had to much time alone with my thoughts. Since then I’ve learned to control my anxiety and talk myself down. But for some reason I’m having a flare up. Im probably going to sound so crazy. My sister does my nails for me bc they’re acrylic and idk how to do them. When she does them they aren’t perfect but they’re free. Don’t get me wrong they look good but the paint isn’t PERFECT. So I feel ugly and I get anxious because it’s not perfect. I’ve also developed an eating disorder. Thinking about food starts to make me anxious. I’ve been working out for years but since I got surgery on my eyes in the beginning of July I haven’t been as active. It’s nice waking up in the morning knowing I don’t have to go workout and get all sweaty and shower. I can just wake up and brush my hair. I straighten it so I can just leave it go for 1 or 2 days. But my fiancé was telling me he doesn’t want me to get fat. Now I’m skinny but I got a little stomach. It’s not FLAT like all the models you see on instagram. I wish it was but I’ve been working out for so long and my stomach doesn’t change much. It starts to look toned after a while. My arms looked really good at one point but I’m not sure what happened. So I get anxious bc I want people to think I’m not fat. Idk why other people’s opinions matter to me. I think I’m afraid that if I stop caring then I really will get fat. I would love to talk with a specialist but I know I’ll just break down in tears when I start talking. I tell my fiancé every so often when I get anxious and he isn’t tells me it’s okay. Actually the response I got from him today was “hm” so I feel like I need to reach out for more help or just some advice. I’m CONSTANTLY cleaning my room because I’m afraid the dirt will ruin my furniture or my stuff. I literally lint roll my sheets in the morning to make sure there’s no dirt….. I know it sounds ridiculous. I make my bed a certain way so it looks really nice and fresh and I’m constantly spending money on new bedding because I like my things to feel new. I get anxious when my shoes get dirty or scuffed up. I get anxious when there’s dirt on my bedroom floor. I’m not sure what to do to concur the fear of dirt. Do I seek help from a therapist on here or will I be laughed at?

Hi there, I’ve recently been diagnosed with OCD after seeking help because of worsening performance at work. I’m a nurse practitioner and work in a busy clinic. Throughout the past few years I’ve become slower and slower as a clinician because I’m so scared of making a mistake. I constantly recheck things that I know I know, recheck my charting and make it as perfect as possible, re-review medical history, obsessively follow patient’s charts, consult the on-calls even though I know the answer, and call patients outside of working hours to check in on them. I’m wondering if there any other healthcare providers who have OCD on this platform? I feel like my OCD symptoms have in someway made me a great provider but it’s getting to a point now where I’m afraid I’ll lose my job because I’m not meeting my patient numbers. Since I can’t see as many patients my coworkers have to pick up the slack and I feel horrible about that. Curious if anyone has similar experiences. Thanks so much for reading :)

Hello, I am not diagnosed with OCD but started researching it as a child bc I know I had deep mental obsessions. I think I never opened up to anyone about it bc I also have a savior complex and believe I am the only who can help myself (I have been learning this not true (it’s true in a sense but not in a practical sense)) only through the power of Jesus Christ. Anyways, for as long as I’ve had social media I’ve struggled with obsessive updating changing and checking of my profile/posts. I think this stems from a fear of being perceived wrongly by others (whatever that means). I would have a literal fear that something would get posted on my accounts that I did not post and it would be horribly offensive or embarrassing or both, and I would genuinely believe this fear even though that’s impossible. I have gotten better in the sense that I have more confidence now so I worry less about “fitting in”, but I still obsessively check what I post multiple times to make sure it’s “ok” (meaning to make sure what i actually posted is there and not something different). I think this might be somewhat normal as far as ppl viewing their own content repeatedly I just think the reasons why I do it and the compulsive nature of it is a result of ocd. Even when I know rationally there is no reason to keep checking I repeatedly give into the compulsion to do it. I also notice I have an obsession with “starting over” on things and purging. This includes social media as I have a strong tendency to go back and delete things in order to make everything “just right” and this hurts my self esteem bc I feel like I can’t follow through with anything and will never be “sure” about anything. This is a common theme in my life— I purge possessions regularly and then regret it later, I post excessively on social media and then feel satisfied by deleting it later on and the cycle repeats. I want consistency in my life and do feel there is a pervasive need for “just rightness” that overshadows my life and it can be disruptive. I can suddenly feel the need to purge things from my life, even relationships, and sometimes regret it later. I’m honestly not sure anymore how much of it is rational and how much is not, the lines can be blurred. I just know I want a change and I want to feel that I can commit to things, without feeling the overwhelming compulsion to change things in order to feel satisfied. Ik rational changes are a part of life, but I’m afraid my ocd fuels some of these decisions. If you’ve read all of this and have any advice or relate at all I would love any feedback. I’m really desperate at this point. Is this a legit type of ocd?? Is this common?? Thanks.

Does anyone else hate when people use ocd as a characteristic? I’m involved in a community service group that builds things and the supervisor of the group said “I need my ocd people to come check this straight line”. This girl walked over who is a perfectionist and I’ve watched her closely trying to figure out if she does have OCD but I can’t tell so I don’t want to say she doesn’t bc she very well could but the supervisor saying that made me upset. She was using it as a characteristic of someone. It’s like she was saying “I need my artistic people to come paint this for me”. My ocd isn’t a characteristic. Yes it’s a part of me but I don’t want to be defined by it. I really wanted to say to her “hey that isn’t something people who actually struggle with OCD want to be called.” I don’t want to be called the “ocd girl”. Bc yeah I have ocd and yes I’ve been working extremely hard in exposure therapy and yes I take medication for it but do not define me by it. I find it rude and inconsiderate. I’m not sure how any one else feels but it just made me upset the rest of the day and I’m still thinking about it.

Just took all of my therapy assessments that were due and feel disappointed with myself that my scores have gotten worse again. I had them all at a really good baseline for a couple months but seems like I’m having a flare up. I’m disappointed in myself that I couldn’t keep it at bay for longer than 2 months.

I started a new job a few weeks ago. The job has a cafeteria and I get breakfast and lunch on some days. This past Monday, I grabbed a parfait but there was no price nor could I find it in the kiosk. I tried both kiosks and tried weighing it but it didn’t work. So I keyed in “hot cereal” thinking it was comparable. Later that day, I went to lunch and saw they put the price on the parfaits and the price was $2.50, which was $1 more than the hot cereal. So I added a piece of fruit to my lunch to make up for the difference but didn’t take the fruit. Well because I felt extra bad, the next morning when I bought a parfait, I charged myself for two and only took one to be sure I paid. I am still super worried I’ll get fired. I talked to my co-worker about it and she said it’s really not a big deal but now I’m worried I even told her. 🤦🏻‍♀️. What should I do?

so recently i’ve got into a relationship with someone who i love dearly and deeply care about but my OCD has now latched onto consent and boundaries, also i have a massive fear of “what if i pressure her or make her feel pressured” wether unintentionally or intentionally, ive been compulsively asking chat GPT about consent, boundaries and that kind of thing, and im so scared, i would never want my girlfriend to feel uncomfortable, i’ve told her about this and i said how scared i am about it but ive told her that if i ever do please tell me, but what if she doesn’t because she’s worried if i spiral? i’ve told her though if i ever do please let me know, also before our first kiss i keep going over everything that was said or that i did, and im so scared that what if i made her feel pressured or anything, i asked her afterwards and she said not at all but im still scared. I don’t want this to ruin our relationship, also another fear is “what if i miss one of her non verbal cues of her being uncomfortable or something like that. also before we kissed i asked her are you sure like 5 times and she said yes she wanted to, but then i told chatGPT about it and it said i could of pressured her by asking that, i know i shouldn’t if told chatGPT and im trying to stop, but this is so overwhelming for me, like what if i said something that made her feel pressured? obviously i would never intentionally do that, but im really scared to be intimate with her. and even if we are just holding hands or hugging my OCD says im doing something wrong, i truly can’t tell if im overthinking it or not, and, im just posting this to see if anyone can relate or share some advice because im truly stuck and feel like im going to pass out with the stress, guilt and anxiety, im so scared.

For the longest time, I struggled with feeling like everyone hates me, even my own friends. It’s exhausting. I pay attention to every shift in someone’s tone of voice and body language, and I will overcompensate or compulsively apologize to people for no reason. It creates a lot of frustration and even resentment because I try so hard to be perfect for everyone that I end up disappointing myself when I realize certain people just don’t like me, even though I’ve done nothing to them. It wasn’t until this afternoon when I was crying to my manager about my coworkers coming together to talk about me in a bad light, even though I’ve done absolutely nothing to them personally. I never thought for a second that this may have been my OCD at play. I wasn’t aware of it until today, and I never thought my OCD would be connected to this obsession.

Hi! i don’t really know how to start this off or how to explain my ocd so i’ll just start from what comes off the top of my head lol. So strangely, i think i shown signs of it in my early age, i would often like odd numbers, groups of 3, 5, so on. some numbers were okay but when picking flowers it had to be 3 lol. When i was about 10-11 i used to have extreme anxiety, it was so dumb and caused by my tablet not working. The charger port was messed up and i was terrified of not having this tablet, or being able to do whatever i did on there lol. Before i had said tablet my tv stopped working one night while my mom worked night shifts, the sound went off and i was in full panic. I really can’t name why, maybe i just needed the background noise ? I dunno. I remember calling her on the house phone then having so much relief when it went back to normal. I used to get such bad anxiety my stomach would hurt insanely bad i’d have to sit in the bathtub with water for HOURS. I think my ocd had gotten better.. but i used to be very specific, before bed, i had to make sure my bed looked made at all times (before leaving, before sleeping, while on it sometimes lol) And id often pull on my comforter at least 35 times till it felt right, and restart when it didn’t. And i would often pull on both sides of the shower curtain before leaving, to make sure it was “fully closed”. My pillows were often cornered and i always fix the pillow case and pull on it till my arm would go numb and id force myself to stop. But then.. id have to restart. Because i messed it up lol. I used to have the old iphone 6, and after clearing out all my notifications i’d have to clear all open tabs and click on the home button, while switching to different pages of my home screen in a very specific order. It was mentally exhausting honestly. Especially for a 12-14 yearold girl. I think it’s a hell of a lot more toned down now, but still definitely there. I have to fix my bed before leaving, i always get my dog a treat after leaving (not really ocd) but i do have to screw on her cap to her treats over and over. It’ll be on there but i’ll keep pushing it lol. (Which often f*cks me over when i need a jar of pickles or some type of condiment that’s in a jar lol.) I still clear out all my notifications but mainly before i do something i’m “excited or looking forward to” to do on my phone. like playing a game, making a tik tok, even just normal stuff like checking the status of where a package is at. I’ll often play games on my ps4 and before i do, i have to go on each sides of my hair and use my pointer finger to remove the hair between my glasses and my ear if that makes sense lol. Back and fourth over and over. There’s certain things that i don’t have a pattern to, that i just do till they feel right and they take forever to feel right. I’ll often do it before eating food as well, and if i don’t i have this annoying feeling like i can feel my hair there, or almost just an annoying feeling like a scratch you can’t itch. I think a part of it is like “rewarding” myself maybe? i’ve heard of that or even just kind of “preparing everything” like everything feels nicer when it’s clean, it’s nicer to sit down and do my makeup, or play a game when my bed and surroundings are clean lol.

I used to be such an angsty teen when I was about 14-17. I love my parents with all my heart but back then when they would irritate me in the slightest, or if i’d get into any argument with them at all, or I didn’t agree with a belief, I’d immediately go to my online friends and start complaining and talking so much trash about my mother or father. Sometimes I’d exaggerate, to gain sympathy. Looking back now, I feel so TERRIBLE for saying these things, I was acting as if I was abused or something even though I wasn’t. My parents treat me phenomenally and my relationship with them grew so much as I got older (im almost 20). The guilt is now eating me up alive, I feel like a bad person and I feel like I don’t deserve their unconditional love and support. It feels like im a traitor to this amazing relationship I have with them, and always at the back of my head I think that if I told them I talked this much bad behind their backs, then they’ll never look at me the same again. At this age I can’t ever imagine doing that same thing again, even thinking about hurting them or betraying them makes me tear up and I FEEL SO BAD. Please help me. Im a terrible daughter. Also, theres this constant feeling to confess otherwise the feeling wont go away, but I don’t want to because it would be so hard and I can’t even fathom how on earth i’d bring this up to them considering i’ve been extremely good to them for the past years. I rather them not know and I want to move on, but the feeling of being a two sided b*tch still lingers. :( I would literally die for them.