Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I just got on lexapro!!!

No need to dig into your subtype if you aren't comfortable with it! I noticed I could have a disorder when I was listening the Jurassic Park audiobook and my brain just went like "WHAT IF YOU CHEATED ON YOUR PARTNER AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW" out of the blue and I was girl wtf 😭 I tried to brush it off and ignore it but we all know that didn't work and without noticing I would still thinking on it

I know this is a common thing that ocd sufferers deal with. Does anyone else really feel like they're going crazy? It really freaks me out the weird sensations I get in my head. I'm just wondering if I'm the only one who gets hyperaware of whats going on in my head, physically and mentally.

how do i deal with a “break” with my boyfriend as he goes to boot camp for 3 months? we are still gonna write to each other. he says if i find someone else that’s okay, but i really won’t be looking and really don’t want anyone else. i love him dearly. we’ve agreed a break is best for now, but im not sure anymore. i just want to be with him. is it wrong to be with him again when he gets back?

So about 2 years ago I gave my life to Jesus. I've always been a "Christian" but never truly lived liked one. Honestly never truly felt love for them until 2 years ago. It was the best couple months of my life!!! I felt so happy and loved and unstoppable! I thought this fire for God & Jesus will never burn out. One day I had a thought about is God real? It bothered me so bad and I went into a massive spiral. Doubting everything. My faith. if I was good enough. Am I really saved? Do I have enough faith? Is my doubt real? Is it too much? Have these blasphemous made God not want me anymore? Or Jesus? :( But I knew I was and that they were real! I know I've heard them. Then I started having horrible blasphemous thoughts but then it would go back to doubting thoughts then back to the blasphemous ones. I hated the thoughts and doubts. The thoughts are so mean towards God, Jesus & HS. It’s anywhere from evil thoughts to cussing thoughts to rejection thoughts/denying. Demonic thoughts. Literally anything bad you could think of! Even thoughts of if I really love them or wanna follow them. I learned about OCD from what I've looked up but I've been dealing with this for about 2 years now. It's hard. I doubt if it’s OCD. Definitely feel like I'm trapped or my faith isn't the same. Which makes me sad because I want my faith! I feel like I've gotten lazy and honestly that I don't deserve them or am "too far gone" from them. I feel like idk how to be a Christian or how to have faith or just exist tbh. I wanna love God & Jesus! I want faith! I just feel kinda stuck. Has anyone gone through this or has advice or tips?

i’m struggling very badly with health ocd. i am constantly convinced every little thing wrong with me is immediately cancer. i noticed i have been getting random bruises on my knees/shins and i think it is because i have cancer. does anyone else think like this? it’s so annoying because any weird symptom i think it’s because i must be dying. but is there a reasonable explanation to why i have bruises on my legs? it’s seriously freaking me out!!!

Okay so I have been struggling with pocd. And I have been getting better but now my ocd is telling me that I'm proving it right by slowly started to get better. For example, after so long of trying my hardest to avoid anything protaining to children I realized that I have to in order to get better. So I've been letting myself go out more and yk see children. The intrusive thoughts are still there though. Which is feeding into it trying to convince me that it's real. It feels like it does that anytime I'm a step closer to getting better. Does anyone have any advice on how to help it? I struggle with mental checks and responding. I know that I should let it pass but it's so difficult. The intrusive thoughts have been getting worse too. They pop up over the smallest things. It's all just jumping to insane conclusions and I'm so sick of it. I just want to be better.

Anxiety is much better but intrusive thoughts have reared their ugly head again. Thing is they don’t scare me but they seem like they should have meaning since I’m not anxious like I used to be!

I saw a video of an animal that someone was cleaning or doing something to the intimate region, and I automatically sexualized it and got some strange feeling, something like groin, even the animal looked like it was enjoying itself and I just feel different and disgusting because I know it's not normal, I didn't have zoocd and it's not clear to me how that feeling precedes my thoughts...

the first 4 months of our relationship i was so in love and giddy and protecting my gf and cute with her 24/7 and obsessive and bought her everything treated her amazing perfect than 4.5 months in i hit an rocd trigger and now for the last 7 months i haven’t been the same. now i just feel secure like everything is routine and she’s just my gf and lover. no excitement for future, no drive, life is just flat and feels like nothing is exciting enough, no joy just like here we go 40+ years of routine. than i see tik tok how happy they are and in love and do stuff and feel it still and know how to be secure, playful kid versions together, and also woman and man sexual versions. what’s wrong any tips am i just not that in love anymore i love her so much though

I’m kind of frustrated because for YEARS I’ve been trying to express my concerns. For about 6-7 years I’ve been concerned about having OCD. I’m not diagnosed and I want to talk to a professional to confirm whether or not I have it. I have been struggling with several symptoms over many years of my life and it has been absolutely distressing. I’ve expressed my concerns to two doctors. One of them pretended like they didn’t hear me and the other did give me scenarios that I experience. When I said yes to the ones that applied to me, she said “well it’s very normal for people to wash their hands a lot and check door locks” well yeah but what I experience is so much more than that and it’s been absolutely horrendous. I have super bad compulsions and intrusive thoughts, at some point I broke a TV because I felt like I had to throw these little coasters at it for 5 times. And then after those 5 times, the way I threw it didn’t feel right, so I had to do it again and again until it felt right and then it broke :/ The doctor later told me that they can recommend me to professionals but my mom didn’t want me to because of fear that I can get medicated. But I just want to talk to a professional to be able to express my concerns about it. I also feel bad about talking about what I experience because I don’t want people to think that I’m trying to self diagnose myself. I just want to be able to recognize my struggles and try to overcome what I go through. All I want is help. At some point I went to therapy and I had three sessions and then my mom pulled me out. But in those sessions I haven’t talked about my struggles with OCD yet, I was talking about other issues and my therapist was still trying to get to know me. :( Sometimes when I’ve talked to my parents they don’t really try to listen. Sometimes they tell me “well everyone has a little bit of OCD”. Okay, well I’m not talking about everyone, I’m talking about ME. And back when I struggled so much with violent intrusive thoughts, it was also a time where I felt like I HAD to tell my parents about every thought that I had. And my parents were concerned and thought that I was just in general violent. But I’m not violent, I don’t believe these things. And they STILL don’t want to hear me out on my concerns after all of that. I just want to feel validated with what I go through. I am convinced that I struggle with OCD, but I want to be SURE. I don’t want to feel like I’m self diagnosing. I want to KNOW what I’ve been experiencing all these years. I really do like this app because I feel like I finally relate to other people and that I can REALLY talk about my struggles while being understood. Whether or not if I do have it, I feel really understood and I really understand and relate with others. But anyways I hope I can figure this whole thing out one day😓🙏

sorry if im putting to much detail in here I can take it down if it is too much and makes people uncomfy. Last night was watching some ex*pl*cit content while lying on the rug in the room in my house I spend most of my time and where my family usually goes into and it caused a physical reaction. I went to the bathroom to clean up and then sprayed the shower done and put bleach on the floor but I wiped the floor with a towel to kinda clean it but idk if I put enough bleach to clean it and if I got it in the areas that mattered and I sprayed Lysol on the bathroom counter to make sure no germs of my earlier reaction got any where but I ran out of Lysol after spraying everything but I made sure to spray the rug with some Lysol before I ran out but idk if I got everything I mean I focused on the rug but I didn’t spray all of it and I didn’t spray all the stuff that was in the room. And to make things worse after my reaction earlier I put my devices and charger on the floor of my room before washing my hands or my devices so I had to clean the floor in my room I used bleach but I didn’t put it everywhere on the floor which makes me anxious and idk if I cleaned my devices or charger well enough and I’m scared they are still infected. But back to the rug i sprayed it down with odoban it says disinfectant on it but I think it’s only for hard surfaces it disinfects but I still sprayed it around on the rug but I don’t know if it actually disinfected anything. And of course to make matters worse my baby cousins toys were in the room so I sprayed them with what little Lysol I had left but idk if I cleaned it well enough but I already put them with their other toys so idk what to do. After I thought I cleaned everything I put my devices on my mattress I don’t have my blankets on my mattress yet cause I washed them like a week or 2 ago and they are just laying on my bed but not put on my mattress so I’m scared my mattress if infected since I’m laying on my mattress with my feet on my chair and my devices are on my mattress. And idk I don’t want people getting those bad germs in them and I,worry about this a lot and Ik a lot of people will say that it isn’t that huge of a deal and I want to,believe them and it helps but my mind is always telling me that even if that’s true I have a responsibility to make sure everything is clean so people don’t get hurt and it doesn’t help that I’ve been so,itchy and idk why and my little brother is also itchy idk if it’s because I don’t clean well enough and it’s my germs or not but I’m tired do I need,to clean my mattress and covers again and reclean the rug I think I do but I’m trying to go against that thinking but it’s hard because I feel like a bad persons. And today I’m scared to leave my room i feel like I’m filthy and that the rug in the other room is contaminated and it doesn’t help I need to go to the doctor today when I’m feeling like anyone I’m around im infecting

Does anyone feel the urge to confess secrets even though they’re not yours to share? My husband told me about a traumatic event he had and trusts me to keep the secret. It has NOTHING to do with me at all. And my brain is making me feel like I need or want to tell someone. I want to be trustworthy and my brain is making me feel like I’m not because of this obsession. It’s so confusing because I know I don’t need to but I feel like I “want to” because of the OCD anxiety? And the feeling of wanting to makes me feel more anxious and like a terrible person. I have confessed literally everything to my mom about my thoughts so she’s my safe person. And I had an emotionally abusive dad (probably how I got OCD at a young age - like 8 years old) that has now passed away. So confiding in her even with intrusive thoughts and messed up shit was safe for me. Does my brain feel like I need to tell her just because she’s my safe person? I hate the feeling of me “wanting” to tell at all too and can’t tell if it’s real and it’s making me feel like a horrible person. I literally have no secrets myself. His mom knows and so do I. So I’m not the only one that knows. But why is my brain doing this? It’s spiraling me out and has been for a few days. But I want to keep the secret because it’s HIS and it doesn’t affect me in any way. I mean sure I feel bad for him - but it’s from his past before we even met? Someone please help me rationalize why I feel these things and why it’s so confusing to know if you actually “want” to do something or if it’s OCD? It’s causing a deep anxiety pit in my stomach and has been for days now.

Wanted to talk.. Just some ocd discussion not for the reassurance But know more about it... Hope someone will.. Thanks!🙏😇 (Been recovering from so ocd)..! So just wanted to educate myself..

A girl that I know that lives in my neighborhood just snapped me and it was “watch Marlee show off her garden or something” and I was worried enough to just open the snap bc I’m scared of interacting with other girls bf my ocd. The snap was just of her friend playing a garden game and then it switched to a coloring one but I genuinely just skipped over the whole video, it was 10 snaps long. Also the girl that sent me that, her name on snap has had a “😘” and even after changing it today it still shows the ____😘 on her public profile but I never changed her name on my snap and I feel bad bc I have a gf. I hate when people add the stupid hearts and stuff for their names on snap. I’m not going to respond to this snap. Also my brain is telling me I’m a cheater bc I never took out the emoji from her name beforehand. I genuinely never thought about the name until today, it’s been like that forever and I don’t think I ever paid much attention to it until now when my OCD is attaching to it. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. Also she texted me June 20 asking about if I had a bbl which was weird and so I responded to her then bc I was like wtf. But now I’m like why did I never realize her name had that emoji in it and I’m stressing. I really don’t enjoy talking to her and I’m not attracted to her at all and barely actually talk with her, and if I do I’m not flirting with her bc I love my girlfriend and don’t care about other girls I do remember that it wasn’t that girl that texted me about the cookie, it was one of my friends gfs. I was also worried about that bc I didn’t want to text my friends gf bc I thought it would be weird but it was only about the cookie

Ugh videos like this make my heart drop and my stomach feel sick I have so much anxiety all the time then I will try to distract myself and not watch those videos but then feel like I’m being ihnorant and that maybe those videos are for me I don’t know what to do. I get so much anxiety trying to sit in Gods presence and pray and try to hear him back instead of just talking cuz my brain is everywhere at once and my intrusive thoughts just make me hurry through prayer I know I should go to him for advice first instead of here but I’m struggling and scared

A girl that I know that lives in my neighborhood just snapped me and it was “watch Marlee show off her garden or something” and I was worried enough to just open the snap bc I’m scared of interacting with other girls bf my ocd. The snap was just of her friend playing a garden game and then it switched to a coloring one but I genuinely just skipped over the whole video, it was 10 snaps long. Also the girl that sent me that, her name on snap has had a “😘” and even after changing it today it still shows the ____😘 on her public profile but I never changed her name on my snap and I feel bad bc I have a gf. I hate when people add the stupid hearts and stuff for their names on snap

My current obsession is around mental health, specifically that I have undiagnosed Bipolar 2. Any changes in my mood are triggering and in my compulsive googling to make myself feel better (never works lol) I discovered that ocd and bipolar are linked in like 10-20% of cases?! So now I feel worse. Anyone else experience mental health fears?

If one more person tells me to go out for a walk to "help me feel better" I am going to poke out my eyes. I know it's not said out of malice but my goodness. How can't people understand that my intrusive thoughts, compulsions and ruminations FOLLOW ME. Instead of feeling shitty inside, now I'm feeling shitty outside where I'm not in a space where I'm comfortable. I'm sick of it. 😟

Real event, legal ocd, and false memory ocd around events that happened years ago but never bothered me till a month ago and now my life is being destroyed because I feel sooooooooooo guilty