Confession Compulsions

Does anyone feel the urge to confess secrets even though they’re not yours to share? My husband told me about a traumatic event he had and trusts me to keep the secret. It has NOTHING to do with me at all. And my brain is making me feel like I need or want to tell someone. I want to be trustworthy and my brain is making me feel like I’m not because of this obsession. It’s so confusing because I know I don’t need to but I feel like I “want to” because of the OCD anxiety? And the feeling of wanting to makes me feel more anxious and like a terrible person. I have confessed literally everything to my mom about my thoughts so she’s my safe person. And I had an emotionally abusive dad (probably how I got OCD at a young age - like 8 years old) that has now passed away. So confiding in her even with intrusive thoughts and messed up shit was safe for me. Does my brain feel like I need to tell her just because she’s my safe person? I hate the feeling of me “wanting” to tell at all too and can’t tell if it’s real and it’s making me feel like a horrible person. I literally have no secrets myself. His mom knows and so do I. So I’m not the only one that knows. But why is my brain doing this? It’s spiraling me out and has been for a few days. But I want to keep the secret because it’s HIS and it doesn’t affect me in any way. I mean sure I feel bad for him - but it’s from his past before we even met? Someone please help me rationalize why I feel these things and why it’s so confusing to know if you actually “want” to do something or if it’s OCD? It’s causing a deep anxiety pit in my stomach and has been for days now.

"Pure" OCD

PoleekPelican

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

OCD is attempting to get you to take the bait. Giving you a bunch of hypotheticals, like "What if you told their secret", "What if you did that by accident?", "What if you actually want to?". The truth is that whether you want to or not, it's irrelevant. These thoughts have your attention and it is feeding the OCD. If I were in your shoes, I would just entertain the possibilities. "Yeah, I might tell their secrets, I might want to tell them, and it may mean I'm terrible if I do". "I might lose my friends and family if I do and they find out I told", etc. Once you show OCD that you don't care and explore the possibilities of the worst case scenarios, this theme should get less intense. Exposing yourself to the worst will help in getting you to tolerate and your mind will "get bored" of it and move on to something else. Make sure to be prepared for its next target. I'm going to do the same for my current theme. Good luck!

OutstandingC...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

Is there something youre afraid of happening or being true if you don’t tell someone? Like it would affect your trust with your mom, or you would become to burdened with the secret? No judgement at all, just trying to help identify what the fear might be that’s driving you

KAW1007

Date posted: 6w

@OutstandingCutieDisorder Trust with my mom… the fact that I’m the only one that knows besides my husband and his mom… I have no clue honestly? My OCD keeps switching between intrusives constantly and thoughts in general. It’s nothing that would cause harm now or that would affect his life. It happened when he was a kid even.

slippery_salad

Date posted: 6w

Real event ocd. Worst theme by far

KAW1007

Date posted: 6w

@slippery_salad It is horrible. ROCD is tangled into it too for me.

slippery_salad

Date posted: 6w

@KAW1007 Another horrible theme

chickenmomma

Date posted: 23w

I struggle with confessing

This is my first post & I’m terrified. I have not been officially diagnosed w ocd yet but in a nutshell - I confessed some things I felt guilty about to my husband about five months ago. ( nothing too major ) but in our past, 20+ years ago I was unfaithful and it caused a LOT of harm, which I told him all of that back when it happened. But in recent months, I started getting consumed by guilt. I couldnt eat or sleep until I finally broke one night and told him all these recent little things I felt guilty about. Acting flirty, etc. And for him it like brought back allll the trauma from 20 years ago which I didn’t know would happen. But it’s so bad. He says he wishes I never told him. But even w that, I still feel like I keep thinking of “new things “ I did in the past, thoughts I had or dreams, or conversation w an ex,things like that. Because I am a Christian I also keep feeling like it’s the Holy Spirit telling me I haven’t told him everything and I need to. But I also know God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear .. I clearly need help, but I also want Christian based help so that it’s in line w what I believe ? I can’t eat and my anxiety is so bad again - I know if I confess more things it will keep destroying him, I don’t think he really understands or believes I have ocd. Thanks if you made it this far

Sunny87

Date posted: 22w

“Lying by omission”

FINALLY identified a core fear of mine and it is deceit and lying by omission. My biggest compulsions are confession & rumination. I immediately WANT to confess to whoever the theme is about, BUT since I am NOT acting on the compulsion (*yay*), I feel like I am lying by omission. For example, I will think of a mistake I made in the past, become anxious at the thought that my partner would break up with me over it, and then I want to confess so that he has all the information he needs to make an accurate decision on if he wants to be with me. Otherwise, I feel as though I am withholding pertinent information and his decision to be in a relationship with me is based on lies & fabrication. On one hand I am proud of myself for not compulsively oversharing / acting on compulsivity. On the other hand I worry I am stepping out of my values of honesty & integrity. Or perhaps worse, claiming “compulsion” in the name of hiding from the possibility of whatever consequence may result in me sharing the mistake. Any recommendations?

Michie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18w

Please help

Why why WHY do I feel the need to constantly overshare?! It’s making me feel guilty af! If my boyfriend tells me something in confidence but my ocd twists what’s said into some crazy big problem I feel the need to run to my mom for reassurance, it’s getting to the point where he doesn’t trust me not to talk about stuff and I don’t want him to feel like that obviously!! But it’s like I can’t stop! Does anyone else have that? How do you stop it?

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Confession Compulsions

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