ROCD, Honeymoon Phase, TikTok

the first 4 months of our relationship i was so in love and giddy and protecting my gf and cute with her 24/7 and obsessive and bought her everything treated her amazing perfect than 4.5 months in i hit an rocd trigger and now for the last 7 months i haven’t been the same. now i just feel secure like everything is routine and she’s just my gf and lover. no excitement for future, no drive, life is just flat and feels like nothing is exciting enough, no joy just like here we go 40+ years of routine. than i see tik tok how happy they are and in love and do stuff and feel it still and know how to be secure, playful kid versions together, and also woman and man sexual versions. what’s wrong any tips am i just not that in love anymore i love her so much though

Suhonn

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

Social media is the worst thing to compare your relationship or life to, it's a facade. What was your trigger?

AnceNOCD

Date posted: 6w

@Suhonn a girl in the gym, i was always commenting on girls looks with my friends and being immature and than one girl shook my hand at the gym to introduce herself bc we just had a normal convo about my friend that wanted her number, she asked me for my ig i said i have a girlfriend. than i was spiraling it’s done now but i was spiraling and i realized that’s not the boy and man i wanna be with the commenting, the finding other girls attractive, the checking other girls out that’s not me anymore i changed a lot but all the in love and stuff and the care and the obsession is gone after all those months im scared its just routine now and like im just here to be here

Suhonn

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

@AnceNOCD I had a similar trigger last month. I was being trained by a male coworker and I started thinking "oh geez do I have feelings for him?" And it started to spiral, even after I realized I do not have any feelings other than normal coworker feelings, I still was having intrusive thoughts. But you're human and you're allowed to find other girls attractive, just don't act on it! It's normal if you're girlfriend found other men attractive as long as that's all it is is just thinking "that guys attractive" and going about her day. That's human. Sometimes coming out of the honeymoon phase can be a trigger. How do you feel when you're not around her?

AnceNOCD

Date posted: 6w

@Suhonn I feel okay when i’m not around her like fine and it seems like i have more fun with friends and games, like there’s no excitement to do stuff no in love this my person like what happened to me im so scared i dont want to have lost feelings i cant lose feelings

niu

Date posted: 6w

What I can hear from the way you’re telling your story is that you are very absolute when it comes to describing things. What I mean exactly is you’re saying in the first stages you “bought her everything, treated her amazing perfect” and that she “is the most perfect, easy to love, she has no flaws, she deserves the absolute world”. While you’re obviously allowed to love and appreciate your girlfriend and describe her the way you want to, I want to emphasise that these type of descriptions can put a lot of pressure on you. And what I mean by that is by describing things so super positive it may rise your expectations about how you “should be” or you “should feel” or she “should be” or she “should feel”. This then makes your anxiety higher, that what you experience might not be what you think it should. If you’d stop putting yourself under so much pressure that your girlfriend is flawless and therefore you should be a certain kind of man, for example a loyal one, the thoughts that this might not be the case will get more quiet. Cause in reality, we ( and I say that as in: you’re not the only one with these kind of thoughts) need to deal with the uncertainties of a relationship: not knowing if things aren’t the way they “should be” because that implies someone else could give you the definition of what YOU ARE. If the stage that you’re in feels like a routine and she feels like your girlfriend and lover and that’s how things are then that is fine. Social media is the worst place for people with OCD because it will place the thoughts about hundreds of people into your tiny life. The feeling of guilt about talking superficial stuff about other women: you can acknowledge that you didn’t like what you said or how you said it, without trying to find deeper meaning in it. Sometimes we say things out of peer pressure, old habits, or simply because we didn’t know better at this point in our lives. If you decide that In retrospect this wasn’t what you want to be that’s alright. But then give yourself the grace to move on and further rediscover the person you would like to be without the need to be certain of it all the time.

Suhonn

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

Do you think you'd feel different if you actually broke up?

AnceNOCD

Date posted: 6w

@Suhonn We’re long distance we are 5 hours away and we have been together for a year and we have seen each other like 2-3 times.

AnceNOCD

Date posted: 6w

@Suhonn I’d be miserable i’d lose myself she is the most perfect and amazing person easy to love beautiful everything she has no flaws she deserves the absolute world

AnceNOCD

Date posted: 6w

@AnceNOCD like she used to be my everything love of my life my person the only girl that i saw kids marriage everything with what the hell happened

Mariabae

Date posted: 25w

i want to cry- rocd- respond please

i saw a tik tok with a guy reading notes about how others relationships ended, or new it ended something like that. One of them was “ when i wasnt excited to see her anymore and it felt like a chore, i wasnt happy anymore and i felt like that for over a year but i couldn’t tell her” i feel horible bc i think i have rocd and for over a year i obbses with me not loving him anymore. i feel awful. what if im in the same position as that guy. what if i dont love him. he is at my house rn and i feel si bad, i feel like i have no feelings. i feel horible i font understand what is happening. i dont want this to happen . This video made me want to cry. what if i cant accept the fact that i dont like him anymore. when he kisses me i think that i dont want him. i feel like a liar.

bruhhh

Date posted: 20w

ROCD & Limerence addiction

I feel like my brain needs to chase dopamine. I’m currently in a long term relationship but I notice myself chasing male attention at work and fantasizing about if my coworker can bring me more joy than my current partner. Deep down inside I know that I love my partner and he’s the only person I want to be with but right now I feel so miserable. I feel like if I dont seek reassurance (watching videos on this topic, scrolling through reddit) then my mind will start to think that I need to leave my partner. I’ve been struggling with ROCD for over a year now and I’m wondering if I should even be with my partner since this has been going on for so long. I dont know how to accept the fact that my relationship isn’t going to feel like how it did in the beginning.

Relationship OCD

Mariabae

Date posted: 11w

i need someone to respond rocd

Today, my boyfriend — who usually doesn’t post much — made a really sweet TikTok with me. He used a trend where he called me his princess and posted it on Close Friends. It was thoughtful and loving… but I felt nothing. And that terrified me. Last night, I looked at him while we were lying in bed and had a thought: “I lost feelings. I don’t like him anymore.” It hit me like a wave, and since then I’ve been so scared that this is all the proof I need that I don’t love him. The worst part? I’m not feeling any positive emotions at all. No joy. No spark. No connection. I’ve been trying so hard for so long to feel something — anything — and I just can’t. I’m scared that the numbness means the love is gone. I’m scared I never truly loved him. I’m scared I’ve just been coping all this time, forcing it. I feel like the relationship is fake, like I’m fake, and everything is falling apart. And still… he keeps showing up for me. He’s loving, kind, and consistent. He tells me how much he loves me. But I can’t feel the warmth anymore, and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m miserable, I feel like a shell, and I’m terrified that this is my truth — that I don’t love him and I’m just in denial. I need help. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living in this constant fear, panic, and emotional numbness. I don’t know what to trust anymore — the thoughts, the feelings, or the memories that feel blurry. Has anyone felt this too?

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ROCD, Honeymoon Phase, TikTok

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