No need to dig into your subtype if you aren't comfortable with it! I noticed I could have a disorder when I was listening the Jurassic Park audiobook and my brain just went like "WHAT IF YOU CHEATED ON YOUR PARTNER AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW" out of the blue and I was girl wtf š I tried to brush it off and ignore it but we all know that didn't work and without noticing I would still thinking on it
I had thoughts like this my whole life and thought it was normal š Fr just thought it was due to my anxiety. But then, after I turned 17-18 (I think?), they dialed up to the max lol. I don't know how my parents didn't notice anything off. When I was younger, homework was a HUGE hurdle for me. When taking notes or writing an assignment, one little smudge, awkward letter, or misspelled word meant tearing out the paper and starting over until it felt right, and it'd always end in tears. Last year, I caved and started doing research on my intrusive thoughts and immediately, NOCD's website popped up. Luckily, I had an appointment with a psychiatrist scheduled for GAD, so when I went in, I mentioned OCD and eventually got my diagnosis lmao
Same about the anxiety! I would have catastrophic thoughts which I thought was totally normal, i had too rocd spikes years ago but I didn't know why I was feeling this way so I would try my best to ignore it until it came to in its max level and my partner was ok you should totally go to a therapist. The Jurassic Park thing was the last straw lol Also I'm very sorry you had to go through that ken your younger years! It sounds so exhausting and difficult to deal with :( I'm glad you are having the help you needed and having small big victories
Okay first of all, this story made me giggle š Secondly!! I have suspected something wasn't right up there for a good solid couple of years now. I have really struggled with ruminating as a compulsion in the past, and earlier this year the compulsion cropped up again and I found myself drowning in the thoughts, I didn't have the tools to fix it. Now I'm in therapy!
I'm glad you got the help you needed! At least you noticed something was off!
@RaRaRa I recently saw this meme that was like "I'm built different Like incorrectly I think" and it resonated so deeply LOL. Thanks for asking, I love chatting here with the community!
Mine was weird and may have started through pandas. I had a stomach ache and was worried I would have to go to the ER one night as a teen. This had happened before and I would need to go to the ER. Anyway out of know where I thought my sheets felt dirty. I washed them multiple times that night. So weird. And then it spiraled from there. My Dr.s thought my health issues could have played a role since I was feeling out of control of my body. I also have a phobia of others and myself getting sick and have from a young age. So a little bit started around having to ask my Mom over and over if she felt good. Then prayer a certain way to keep her feeling good. I still have that phobia and absolutely lose it if my Mom is not well. I now have OCD about her getting cancer cause I wouldnāt be able to help her.
Anyone else develop it in their 30s? Iām 33 and just started showing symptoms in October 2024. So far have only been diagnosed with GAD , PD and depression.I started having intrusive thoughts after a series of panic attacks . My compulsions would be googling. I have made an effort to stop though because it only makes me feel worse. My intrusive thoughts have been around fear of going crazy
iāve been dealing with this āthingā since i was 15. (iām 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. itās been on and off ever since but since January hit itās been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened āwas that sexual?ā and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my exās face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but iāve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.
Last year during April I started to experience groinal responses when I looked at kids. I was terrified of what it could mean and decided to attempt two weeks later. The very next day I had those responses I decided to attempt. I didnāt really have the courage to do so at that time but I started experiencing images about disturbing things done to kids and as days went by it got worse. April 16 was the last straw and I couldnāt take it anymore. I ended up in a mental hospital but before I ended up there I had searched up what I was experiencing. Thatās when I started to understand that it was OCD. I felt relieved for a few moments until I felt the urge to get more information. I saw lots and lots of things and many comments saying that it wasnāt normal and that people who went through this were disgusting people who shouldnāt be allowed to roam free. Thatās when my anxiety and fear became worse and I tried to get rid of it but nothing worked. I shook the entire time I was awake, I didnāt have motivation for anything anymore, I just felt so disgusting. In the end, Iām so glad I ended up in that mental hospital or else I wouldnāt be here with my friends and family. Thank you for reading my story, Iām so glad that Iām not alone
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