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Going to a restaurant for this tasting. My friend is late and we need to walk. The tickets were free so it doesn’t totally matter. I’m having a lot of catastrophizing thoughts.

I think I may have had the worst day of my life yesterday. It started when I struggled with sleeping, only getting three or so hours in before waking up at 6am. Around 8 I had a bad panic attack. I haven't had one that bad in a long time. I had to call my mom to come hang out with me until it passed. Then I finally got some more sleep, not enough still but a few more hours at least until my partner got home from work. They were tired so I had my mom take me to the grocery store so I could get something for dinner for us but we didn't make it there. We got in a car wreck. No one was seriously hurt thankfully. I was pretty shaken up, we both were. I had another panic attack from it in the parking lot of some random hair salon that we pulled into to get off the road. I already feel pretty invisible and like I don't matter so when the paramedic only asked me if I was ok and I said "I think so" it hurt my feelings a little that he left and never checked back on us. Someone else did add before leaving that we could go to the ER if we wanted but it just made me sad to feel so dismissed after getting into an accident. It didn't help that the police officer was a little combative too. We had to wait there for a good 45 minutes before we could finally go home. Of course, with my OCD, I had to shower right when we got home before doing anything because I was "dirty" for going outside. That was frustrating, I couldn't even sit down for a second first. And now it's the next day and I'm still so utterly exhausted and my poor partner, it was there car and they've had to be on the phone with insurance and stuff so they're pretty stressed about everything too and I feel like the absolute worst partner because I can't be there for them more or comfort them. With my OCD I can't even hug them unless I know we're showering afterwards. :( Plus it was partly my fault for the wreck since I was the one that asked to go to the store. If I didn't none of that would of happened. There was a lot of reasons it happened though so I don't fully blame myself and I'm not beating myself up too much but still. Worst day of my life I think and today isn't much better.

Thing is that i'm OBSESSED with a girl, i think about her all day and i hate this, i love My boyfriend, but she appears everywere and un everything, Even in unrelated things, She's a classmate and it's the third time i have an HOCD obsession with her, it makes me think and tried to make me believe im really in love with her, to also make me think i'm gay and makes me feel as if i don't want to be with my bf anymore, when i really love him and this actually started when i was scared of my bf falling in love with her.. i don't know what to do anymore, because Even if i Say i don't like her, it feels as if i'm lying, and also feels that i don't like My bf anymore which makes it Even MORE real, is this OCD? It feels like denial, but after the first 2 OCD obsessions with her i kept going with my normal life and loved My bf normally (Even tho i still had HOCD), pls answer:( i'm not gay, also, it came back because she cut her hair and now uses glasses, which i thought she looked cute or good in, but was scared of my boyfriend liking her, then it turned into, what if i liked her to directly thinking i'm in love with her (which i'm not and saying that made me anxious)..PLD READ I NEED ANSWERD :(

Does anyone here with harm OCD feel responsible for everything? Like future events and commitments? Like it's a burden?

I was raised Mormon and was very unhappy. I'm 17 and believe in God etc. but I don't want to be affiliated with a religion. And I feel like there's something wrong with that. I need advice.

I’m kinda going through a crisis with real even ocd . So basically me and my now bf had started dating back in December of 2020 but that only lasted 2 or 3 days and then we eventually dated again in may of 2021 and been together ever since . Okay back to December of 2020 I was a cashier at dollar tree and this man asked me if I play call of duty . I honestly don’t rmeber how it went . The convo since it was 3 years ago . So I wrote down my gamer tag. I think he was trying to flirt with me I seriouksy don’t remember how the convo went but I think he was trying to get at me if you know what I mean . but all I know is I remember writing my gamer tag down and giving it to him but I did not add him back. I think I was fond of the gesture tho . But I’m trying to figure out did this happen while me and my bf was dating during only those 3 days . Back in 2020 of December . Bc I rmeebr it haponed around the same to but like did it happen before we decided to date even tho it only lasted 3 days . My cheating ocd is eating me up and guilt . I feel like I should break up with my bf . Mind you I have obessed with this and I think talked to my bf about this already and he said it’s fine don’t worry about it but what if it’s not really fine morally even tho I can’t remember when I gave that boy my Gamertag. And by dating I mean being in a relationship *********

A few months ago, I was diagnosed with OCD. I’m not sure what changed, or flipped inside of me, but suddenly everything I was eating became scary. I would spend days not drinking water, or trying to force down at least some crackers and beef broth so I didn’t get sick. I have a fear of anaphylaxis, even with never being exposed to something I’m deathly allergic to. I don’t even have any allergies that I know of that give me hives or any type of reaction. I would feel my throat tightening, and my throat would turn red because I would scratch at it, and I could feel a tightening in my chest even with stuff I’d eaten my whole life. I was/am terrified of high allergy foods (shellfish, peanuts, tree nuts, etc) but I’ve recently began to try things again. I can eat almonds again without nearly passing out in a panic. Does this happen to anyone else? I feel like I’m the only one this happens to. It makes me feel completely weird, and it confuses other people.

Yesterday I was in shambles and in the evening/night I was somewhat better. Then this morning I still felt weird like im a fraud and not normal etc… but this afternoon I feel a little bit like myself but still know my OCD is around. Im going out to dinner with my aunt who knows I have a flare up. Probably going to end up talking about it. Anyways, every time i feel like I do get better or feel like myself again, i think to myself I might be coming out of it…. Then boom…next day I go back to square one. Is this common? Is this signs of recovery?

feeling guilty for wanting other men to find me attractive or hot. im disgusted in myself for wanting it or for maybe acting in a way that was provocative when im in a relationship. i love my boyfriend and would never cheat on him. but why does my head get filled with thoughts and wants about ither men. i’m beating myself up over this. can anyone share some insight??

Advice needed 8 years ago I had the worst experience ever with intrusive images. They were flashing like crazy. They felt immersive. They felt real. My first worry was “what if these are from god” and I found that other people experience that I proved this wrong… however it’s resurfaced Now it’s “your images look weird… nobody else’s images look like this” So I check my memory But god, it’s difficult to know what’s accurate and what’s not How do I prove it’s not supernatural? Not from god? Not from something else? Not something more than OcD? I’m afraid there’s a message - something telling me to do something bad I just want my old head back and not being in this space Please help

i hate ocd i hate the control it has i hate the inability to distinguish real from fake i hate the immense guilt i hate it feeling like a horrible person

I have this issue that I need help with and I would like to hear if anyone else has gone through something like this along with any tips. A few months back I had what was arguably my worst OCD episode in my whole life, it lasted a whole week, in this week I felt nothing but constant anxiety and obsession over this thought, it was like nothing in life mattered except this thought and that lead me to really become disconnected from what’s around me and become so occupied in my own head. After this week, I felt extremely numb and disconnected from myself and my identity which lead me to go down a spiral of disconnection and I had a lot of nostalgic sadness due to thinking “I miss the old days when things were so simple and I didn’t have severe ocd” and this caused me to become very sick of ocd thoughts to the point of suppressing them. Now it’s been quite some time and I have become much calmer but I still feel 2 main things from this extremely bad OCD episode that have stuck with me. 1) I feel extremely disconnected from my identity, my thoughts and emotions, I cannot name my emotions nor embrace them anymore and I can’t think straight (brain fog). 2) that sense of continuous background anxiety that I experienced in that week in my bad OCD episode has stuck with me and now I feel that anxiety all the time for no particular reason along with feeling dull, sad and disconnected. I feel like I have unresolved emotions and experiences from all this but at the same time I feel like I can’t point out anything specific that is causing me to feel this way. I have searched up symptoms for generalised anxiety disorder because of my continuous anxiety but I do not seem to match any of the symptoms, in fact I currently never feel anxious about anything except things related to my bad OCD episode. Please do not hesitate to leave any helpful comments if you have any :) and thank you in advance.

I don’t even know what to think or do anymore. I just think my fears are true and I’m in denial about it. I’ve been struggling with school and motivation for awhile now. My parents and family are amazing and have been paying for my education and I keep messing up. I am super lazy and I miss lectures, and I keep always telling myself I’m going to do better and end up barely passing at the end of the semester. I know we aren’t our thoughts but we are our actions and I feel like I choose to live content with being a burden and selfish. The fact that I choose to listen to the thoughts in my head and do compulsions shows that I really don’t care about being better because if I did I would just do it. I always keep thinking at this point that the morals that I had before OCD 3 years ago are gone. I keep questioning if I am not acting on the thoughts because that is my values and who I am or if I am just not acting on them because of luck. I don’t know if I am not acting on them because of how I feel rather than how acting on them would harm others. I am just so weak, and I don’t know if I deserve to live the rest of my life. And I feel so fucking guilty for saying this but there are times where I think about all of this and it doesn’t motivate me to change at all and I just can’t stand myself for that. I just feel like a sociopath who is constantly whining and complaining and screwing up. I used to feel like I did compulsions because I cared about protecting people and now I just think my compulsions are centered around my own selfishness and anxiety. It’s like there are times where I’m not trying to prevent myself from doing something wrong or trying to make sure that I don’t have bad intentions which is so messed up with the thoughts that I have.

This is my last post for today because im clearly in an ocd flare being on the app so much, BUT here is my question, im sure it falls into ROCD? But when ocd makes u question if you really love someone . Do you ever get a wave of anxiety when you tell them you love them? . Like your brain is saying youre lying ! For reference im married with two kids, sometimes when my ocd is acting up and attaching to SO-OCD, or ROCD, i will tell my husband i love him and get like a hot flash internally. just curious if anyone has experienced similar, its really not new for me but every once in a while it will bother me more than it should

I know i posted alot in the past 24 hours, but i didnt got any replies to those posts, and now this is like an update to those so i can share what i experienced, maybe i help others and maybe others who went through this can give me advice. I realized my interpretation is really bad and videos sometimes harms that cause everywhere you hear working on your deep problems, maybe a trauma is there or youre depressed, another mental health problem and i was afraid od this years that im depressed, i have trauma or something, im actually suicidal, i could go there to be the same mindset as a suicidal person and in conclusion, im not different thab others, i can have the same problem, and this is a huge fear for me. Usually i use as a reassurance that im not like that, everyone is different, but it doesnt help cause i do realize i just say it to not be afraid of it. Which discribes my whole problem. Im afraid to experience emotions or certain thoughts cause in that deep pain or struggling i will think that its me, im that person, if i experience a hopeless thought or i want to escape from pain and even die, in that moment i will see it as this is me, and trying to see them as just thoughts it would be hard and what always happens is that i feel like if i say its not me i do it to avoid it. Its basic ocd but you know that feeling, what if im really avoiding accepting it cause im afraid to say its a real problem and i dont want to see myself as a person having that problem. So my interpretation of thoughts and emotions is really bad...when i experience a really bad emotion or thought i think "its because maybe im depressed, i have trauma, or i do believe that im actually suicidal or i can become that" and im just spinning and cant deal with the real problem. Sometimes im even afraid to say theres a real problem cause i start to panic. I noticed im afraid to experience a difficult experience, and i thought its because i get hopeless and then i think im suicidal, but its not hopelessness is what i feel, its actually panic, im panicking cause my mind says "this situation might be hopeless, i dont want to feel hopeless, we need to find the solution quick" and the same time im struggling accepting if i have to accept that i feel hopeless or not... its totally broke(my interpretation of things). I easily get lost by these thoughts that what i experience is because im avoiding depression, im avoiding a trauma and this is how it gets outside, or that im actually suicidal but i just use fake positivity by thinking its ocd and not me, and when i have a problem its because i dont work on these, i avoid them, i say its ocd when its not. It will be hard work to change these, expecially that i still feel like if i dont accept these as real problems im still avoiding them. Im still afraid of experiencing strong emotions and thoughts cause i still get lost in them and i misinterpet whats the real problem, and i think the real problem is that i didnt learned how to handle thoughts and emotions, thats why i believe those that are strong, like strong nevative ones.

It starts off with thinking you’ve done something wrong but it’s hazy it doesn’t say what but it fits with what you’re afraid of. It then starts adding pictures and scenarios and they start to become more and more detailed until you don’t know what’s real or not anymore. I’ve struggled with this for almost 15 years of the same false memories occasionally adding more details. Has anyone else had this experience of false memories becoming so detailed it’s hard to argue against?

I’ve been terrible for the past two days now and it feels so real that it can’t possibly be ocd. It feels like I want nothing to do with my bf or men in general and want to be with a woman. I’m so sad and anxious, whenever I get a text message from my bf I get a pit in my stomach because it feels like it’s the end of our relationship after spending years growing and loving each other… I’m so sick of feeling this way I just want to be better but it feels like it’s not possible.

I am generally optimistic about my OCD recovery but today I am feeling very hopeless. It feels like I may never recover from it and that it’s a life long punishment.

Just now I was thinking of all the times I was at my sisters kindergarten and after proving that I haven’t done anything inappropriate there I suddenly remembered when in November there also was some event there and I had to walk somewhere different to go to the toilet. And now my brain keeps bothering me with the thought „what if you graped sb on the way there and forgot?“ and like, this is abt last November. And I know for 100000% sure I hadn’t. I remember my entire way there, I even remember details abt people being around some water fountain and lighting candles. Like I remember everything. And there were people all around me too. I remember using my phone after using the toilet too. And I remember I was also going for a walk and my brain keeps being like „but what if I graped somebody on the way there?“ and like, I remember almost the entire walk I went on. I also remember seeing two people and an old couple talking and listening to music. It doesn’t make any sense and ik I’d def remember if I had actually graped somebody but my brain won’t leave me alone I just can’t keep false memory ocd up I hate it all so much. Whenever I’m like „I gotta stop thinking abt it, I KNOW I didn’t do anything.“ my brain goes like „but what if I’m risking the change of it being true in the end? And am ignoring it?“ but I KNOWWW it’s not true 😭 But the thought keeps bothering

I’m really struggling with my ocd right now. I feel like I’m unhappy in my relationship and all I do is get frustrated. I’m questioning everything about my relationship and I’m worried I’m going to ruin everything.