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I’m overanlazing alot of things. My first post on my profile covers everything but I’m so worried and like nervous reck of what my ex boyfriend could be doing. We are on no contact for almost 3 weeks now which is the longest we’ve ever gone. I’m getting so much into my head like if he already moved on, or if he’s talking with some girl already, or letting a girl hit on him. Or even going back to bad habits. It’s been driving me nuts for the past few days. I’m still mad at him for hurting me mentally but miss him too. I keep thinking there’s something wrong with me, wrong with the way I’m thinking, like I’m not normal for thinking these things. That he’d find me weird I wonder those things and that I check on his profile on instagram, just staring at it, blocking and un blocking him. I worry that maybe he doesn’t think of me anymore. And he just. Doesn’t care. I feel like an older version of him would say I’m being too much, that I’m overthinking to so many extents that even tho we are broken up, he’s single and so am I and I shouldn’t care this much about it. But I do. And I’m sure it’s because I’m still in love with him. Even if I’m mad and upset still.

I just got out of a 4 year relationship that ended around the beginning of February. In the beginning of the 4 year relationship I had intrusive thoughts about the way I was behaving around my partner, this went on for a few months not knowing what it was or that it was ROCD. I remember it was bad and did not want to deal with what I was feeling. I defeated it and was ok for the first 3 years after that. But it just made me feel like I wasn’t being my true, authentic , funny self I wanted to be for my partner. It was horrible. Now I’m in a new relationship that has been awesome as far as the beginning goes but now I’m back to that intrusive thought and ROCD. Irs to the point where I feel like I can’t be myself and I’m not happy or excited about anything anymore I’m constantly stressed out thinking about it.

I haven’t posted here in a while but I just wanted to ask a question. While having ocd is it normal to have days when you don’t feel like talking to anyone even if you wanted to? I have felt this for a while and I can’t figure out why do I feel like that. Usually I’m a very talkative person and even when I don’t feel like talking to anyone I always talk to my boyfriend but now even talking to him feels like a burden and I just don’t understand why. This situation has also made my intrusive thoughts even worse:( Idk what to do and what to feel like, I’m feeling kind of empty and emotionless. I was diagnosed with ocd some months ago so I’m kind of new to all this stuff and that’s why I’m asking. I don’t want to ask questions in a compulsive way and I try very hard to avoid it if that makes any sense. I would be very grateful if someone could answer me:)

I flirted back to my friends bf one time. Maybe this is a confession. The thing is I dont judge myself, but I do feel judged by them. OCD got its grips in me this week. Convinced im the worst person in the world for these crimes. Can't read any of the messages she sent me after calling so many times. He is messaging me too and I cant read it. Its been a week. I dont know what to do. She has his Instagram and phone and was calling me from his phone and his ig too. Part of me wants to block them all to stop the harassment, part of me wants to defend myself, part of me wants to tell her the truth that I dont gaf about him and he was coming onto me not the other way around. But she would never believe it anyway.

I just need to get this off my chest but I feel like every time I develop romantic feelings for someone, it’s never genuine, it’s never love, it’s a placement of feelings and what I ideally want out of a romantic relationship onto a single person and it’s just not fair to them. It’s an obsession, obsession with an idea of someone and not for what they truly are. Picking out traits that I like and value in a partner, picking apart a person like they aren’t real. It’s just not healthy. I want to be able to love and be loved. I know that this person will never feel the same and it is not their fault, but I’m still hurt over this idea of them that I’ve built in my head. I’ve constructed a false persona for this person just because they embody something that I am seeking, and to be honest, I can’t tell if that’s a friend or just someone to give me the time of day because I’m so desperate to be heard and seen, I want attention, to be wanted even if it means being used or just given a moment to be in their presence. I don’t think I could ever be in a relationship, I feel like I am clouded by delusion, I feel crazy. Maybe that’s simply because I just am not emotionally stable enough to engage in a meaningful relationship to any degree. There was this person that I took a liking to and saw as a potential someone to become a large part of my life, but they don’t think anything of me, so for the long periods of time that I received nothing but radio silence, I was left with alone with my thoughts and holding onto whatever sliver of hope that they might feel the same. None of it is real. I want to feel normal and not get so emotional over every relationship I ever form, especially those that come with romantic feelings. I don’t know how to overcome this, all I can think about is them. Do I just confess my feelings and get it over with? Face the rejection so I can move on? Or just be left wondering and seeing out how this relationship progresses…even if that risks fading into absolute nothingness and never interacting again? I’m just so caught up in my head over someone who will never ever think twice about me. Sometimes I feel they may hate me even and just be responding with kindness out of courtesy and the fact that they are just a genuinely good person. I have no hard feelings towards them, they’ve done nothing wrong. I just can’t help but be mad at myself for feeling this way, allowing myself to fall into this again. It happens every time I get close. Do you think I’m being crazy or is it normal? I don’t even know what I wanted out of this relationship, maybe relationships aren’t something written for me. Do you think I’ll ever be able to get to a point where I can develop a healthy, non-obsessive, truly meaningful relationship? Any advice??

agh .. okay .. i’m so so embarrassed to post this, i’m literally crying .. but i need some help and advice. or maybe just a place to vent. i don’t know yet. so .. i was hanging out with three of my cousins today, and a few friends. one of my cousins was driving us around, and it was a pretty long drive, and we all just chatted, had fun, you know, normal teenager shit. but i couldn’t help but shift my focus onto certain things about my cousin driving — “wow, he’s going so fast, he’s so cool,” “i like the way his hands are gripping the wheel. wow his hands. hands hands hands” “his happy trail looks nice” (we went swimming) “i feel jealous of his girlfriend” and all sorts of things. i just feel. so awful. i don’t want these thoughts at all, and i feel just horrible. my ocd mixed with hypersexuality from trauma is just not helping at all, and i just want to get rid of these thoughts. i feel so disgusted with myself, and i’m scared that even though intrusive thoughts are normal, maybe mine are too far and i’m just “unfixable” or “broken.” any advice on what i could do? :( edit: i would like to add that we’re not even blood cousins, since we’re “related” through my step dad, which makes these thoughts worse and makes my head go, “oh, well, it’s okay!!” aghh. so frustrating :(

No need to dig into your subtype if you aren't comfortable with it! I noticed I could have a disorder when I was listening the Jurassic Park audiobook and my brain just went like "WHAT IF YOU CHEATED ON YOUR PARTNER AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW" out of the blue and I was girl wtf 😭 I tried to brush it off and ignore it but we all know that didn't work and without noticing I would still thinking on it

how do i deal with a “break” with my boyfriend as he goes to boot camp for 3 months? we are still gonna write to each other. he says if i find someone else that’s okay, but i really won’t be looking and really don’t want anyone else. i love him dearly. we’ve agreed a break is best for now, but im not sure anymore. i just want to be with him. is it wrong to be with him again when he gets back?

the first 4 months of our relationship i was so in love and giddy and protecting my gf and cute with her 24/7 and obsessive and bought her everything treated her amazing perfect than 4.5 months in i hit an rocd trigger and now for the last 7 months i haven’t been the same. now i just feel secure like everything is routine and she’s just my gf and lover. no excitement for future, no drive, life is just flat and feels like nothing is exciting enough, no joy just like here we go 40+ years of routine. than i see tik tok how happy they are and in love and do stuff and feel it still and know how to be secure, playful kid versions together, and also woman and man sexual versions. what’s wrong any tips am i just not that in love anymore i love her so much though

Does anyone feel the urge to confess secrets even though they’re not yours to share? My husband told me about a traumatic event he had and trusts me to keep the secret. It has NOTHING to do with me at all. And my brain is making me feel like I need or want to tell someone. I want to be trustworthy and my brain is making me feel like I’m not because of this obsession. It’s so confusing because I know I don’t need to but I feel like I “want to” because of the OCD anxiety? And the feeling of wanting to makes me feel more anxious and like a terrible person. I have confessed literally everything to my mom about my thoughts so she’s my safe person. And I had an emotionally abusive dad (probably how I got OCD at a young age - like 8 years old) that has now passed away. So confiding in her even with intrusive thoughts and messed up shit was safe for me. Does my brain feel like I need to tell her just because she’s my safe person? I hate the feeling of me “wanting” to tell at all too and can’t tell if it’s real and it’s making me feel like a horrible person. I literally have no secrets myself. His mom knows and so do I. So I’m not the only one that knows. But why is my brain doing this? It’s spiraling me out and has been for a few days. But I want to keep the secret because it’s HIS and it doesn’t affect me in any way. I mean sure I feel bad for him - but it’s from his past before we even met? Someone please help me rationalize why I feel these things and why it’s so confusing to know if you actually “want” to do something or if it’s OCD? It’s causing a deep anxiety pit in my stomach and has been for days now.

A girl that I know that lives in my neighborhood just snapped me and it was “watch Marlee show off her garden or something” and I was worried enough to just open the snap bc I’m scared of interacting with other girls bf my ocd. The snap was just of her friend playing a garden game and then it switched to a coloring one but I genuinely just skipped over the whole video, it was 10 snaps long. Also the girl that sent me that, her name on snap has had a “😘” and even after changing it today it still shows the ____😘 on her public profile but I never changed her name on my snap and I feel bad bc I have a gf. I hate when people add the stupid hearts and stuff for their names on snap. I’m not going to respond to this snap. Also my brain is telling me I’m a cheater bc I never took out the emoji from her name beforehand. I genuinely never thought about the name until today, it’s been like that forever and I don’t think I ever paid much attention to it until now when my OCD is attaching to it. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. Also she texted me June 20 asking about if I had a bbl which was weird and so I responded to her then bc I was like wtf. But now I’m like why did I never realize her name had that emoji in it and I’m stressing. I really don’t enjoy talking to her and I’m not attracted to her at all and barely actually talk with her, and if I do I’m not flirting with her bc I love my girlfriend and don’t care about other girls I do remember that it wasn’t that girl that texted me about the cookie, it was one of my friends gfs. I was also worried about that bc I didn’t want to text my friends gf bc I thought it would be weird but it was only about the cookie

A girl that I know that lives in my neighborhood just snapped me and it was “watch Marlee show off her garden or something” and I was worried enough to just open the snap bc I’m scared of interacting with other girls bf my ocd. The snap was just of her friend playing a garden game and then it switched to a coloring one but I genuinely just skipped over the whole video, it was 10 snaps long. Also the girl that sent me that, her name on snap has had a “😘” and even after changing it today it still shows the ____😘 on her public profile but I never changed her name on my snap and I feel bad bc I have a gf. I hate when people add the stupid hearts and stuff for their names on snap

hi everyone. i feel this is the only platform where i can vent. i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. at first, i caught him messaging other girls, asking for their only fans and would message his cousin to text him saying they’re going to the movies that way he can escape with someone else. he would smoke and drink alot. last year, he told me he was drinking after work and wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. he did not get home until 4am and expected me to not be mad. he would aggressively throw things whenever he would be upset. this of course, created a lot of anxiety and trauma. that day, i grabbed my things and left. i ended up giving him a 2nd chance because he was begging me and promised he would change. just last night, he did the same exact thing. he was drinking with his coworkers and i called him because it was getting late (8pm). he kept declining and texted he was w his coworkers and not to pick him up because his cousin was going to pick him up to continue drinking. this of course made me very upset and I told him i felt neglected. I told him I was done with our relationship because I cannot continue to tolerate this. he turned off his phone and got home until 1am. he was upset and said i should just wait for him to get home to talk. today, i packed my bags and left. i do not want to continue feeling anxious or neglected. am i in the wrong for packing my things and leaving? should i have stayed and talked to him? i am super heartbroken as we also had a dog who we both love very much. i feel like i lost my 2 loves and my heart is shattered. i would greatly appreciate anyone to respond. thank you!

Does it happen to you that when a person is specific in your ocd thoughts (my sister is my sister), that everything about her is a trigger for you when you see her? And the way he moves, talks, eyes, you suddenly sexualize everything, or is it just me? it really bothers me, because I constantly feel my groin, so I wonder if it's really OCD, or if it's something in me...

I suffer since 10 - 15 yrs from specific fears. It was years that my OCD constantly wanted to be checked if I have HIV or not. I had a lot of sex and I thought this is normal. But I ruminated in my backhead about and was testing like 5 - 10 times a year. After the test I felt everytime so relieved. In Corona I was addicted to porn and even I lost control and was watching pretty hard stuff. I was chatting with a girl and we fantasized about really disturbing things. I never wanna meet her and for me was sure it's just kinda onlinestuff. I was in a relationship 3 years now. And I lost fear of HIV. But then came Morality OCD, Real Event (this chat) and after some times POCD. This combination was knocking me out, I felt like the badest person on earth. I did everything wrong and searched for relief and reassurance. It put me to the point of suicidal. I never ever hurting somebody, but my brain was making me a monster. I had to quit the relationship because I just couldn't give her what she deserved. I was in a clinic for 3 months. And we tested medication with ERP (before I took escitalopram for years). Anafranil was working first, then too many side-effects. I tried even without meds, but was so depressed. Now on sertralin for 5 weeks, but only 2 weeks on therapeutic dose 200mg. And wow, now I really feel so confused in the brain. I feel like how big my OCD became. The specific thoughts are not anymore, BUT it sticks on EVERYTHING atm. It's delusional how it feels in the brain. I really hope so deep my brain makes finally a reset and I need to wait it out. I could live with OCD for a long time but the last 1-2 yrs it took absolutely everything. I remark that POCD doesn't stick anymore like before but my brain is now constructing a very bad future because of past mistakes (that I all discussed with family, friends for relief over and over and over again). So it's like my OCD is now Real Event (The sexchat) again. Anyone was on the same point in life?

Hi, I was talking to my boyfriend and he went something along the lines of "I don't want to raise a child here in our country" which is understandable. We're in our twenties and don't expect to adopt for at least other 10 years, but that triggered me so much, my first response was "But what if I want to raise our child here?" because I really don't feel like moving right now and I want to stay close to my family. I told him and he, of course, went like "I mean we'll discuss about it when it's time??" but I feel like I want all the answers NOW. It's not just this, every time I am unsure about something that will happen in our future I get so triggered... is this OCD or a genuine concern? I am so confused and I don't wanna bring it up till I'm sure of its nature.

Hi guys! I’ve been suffering with ROCD pretty severely recently. I can already feel ERP working and the thoughts making me far less anxious, but am experiencing a lot of anxiety about my OCD never going away, being sad forever and my OCD coming back. Does anyone have anything that helps them with this anxiety? I was prescribed Prozac but am so nervous about taking it.

Ugh...my boyfriend of 2 years just told me that things need to change because neither of us are happy with the way things have been going this is what he said to me "I don’t know just affection I guess. I want to hug and kiss my girlfriend and I want HER to want to hug and kiss me. And yeah sex is awesome. I get it’s not a requirement and it’ll never be for me, I get that’s been a big struggle for you in the past year but like it was a really big part of our relationship starting out and I do feel like it brings us closer personally. But maybe that’s just me. And a compliment or two every now and then would be kinda nice. It’s not that you never do that’s not true at all but I feel like it’s been continually less and less. And I try to at least give you a couple every day. This is by no means a bashing of you Ky I know you’re going through a lot I really do trust me. I’m very proud of the effort you’ve put in. I just want to work on getting back to the point where I get what I give and vice versa that’s all. And remember sometimes you might only be able to give 90 percent and that’s okay, that’s life. There will be times where I can only give 90 too" - I am so scared nobody will ever want me or wanna be in a relationship with me. I am so scared he is breaking up with me

One of my ocd symptoms is hyperfixations, and i fixate on my girlfriend’s face- like, itd as if my ocd tries figuring out if something’s wrong This has caused me to avoid looking at her because ocd numbs my feelings from the anxiety- i have difficulty video calling, she doesn’t mind at all cause she doesn’t really video call w me (were in an ldr, she just doesnt really mind it at all) but i still mind. I love her, shes my beautiful princess and it enfuriates me that i cant get in touch with my real feelings cause of this :’( Same thing is happening with like, intrusive feelings aggainst her like random irritability- its so exhausting, im very tired, but im NOT irritated at her. Its disgusting how repulsive i feel to certain actions she does when she asks me for help, like, its as if I’m anxious and overwhelmed cause I have to help her with a lot of stuff, but I am not irritated or mad at her, thats intrusive :’( but it bugs me that its here :’( She knows about my intrusive feelings im just so frustrated

I'm worried I'm gonna get hurt. There is a guy I'm talking to and we plan to hangout soon. We have been talking for awhile and have talked at school. I have a few ex boyfriends, two to be exact. One turned out to be awful, but I found out early on because a bunch of women came to me with their concerns of how he creeper them out and used to send them weird messages, he also for awhile would have people message me to get me BACK MONTHS LATER. My other ex was a good guy, but extremely shy and bad with expressing feelings. It didn't feel like I was his girlfriend. That being said I now kinda assume (mainly from the awful guy) that everyone is gonna turn out to be awful and that I can't trust my judgement. This guy I got now knew stuff about ocd already, loves horror movies and art like me, loves cat, good with kids and has a little brother, he remembers little things I say and sends me pretty pictures of the sky and forests when he is out, he warns me when he is sleepy incase he falls asleep when we are texting at night, he knows alot about mental health. He is everything I could want and I just can't believe it's real, that someone like this exists and out of all people LIKES ME. My brain is telling me he could secretly be racist or homophonic or a rapist and I just don't know. My friend who barely knows him and has never spoken to him before but is good at reading people says he is 9 out of 10 percent sure he isn't any of those things. which considering they have never talked or anything it's good. But idk I don't trust myself. I'm scared he will crush my heart. I went through his following on insta to look for people of other races and sexualitys. He follows a girl who is a friend of a friend of mine who is gay, the smosh account and Ian Hecox, he follows Good Mythical Morning and Link (idk why not rhett), and I once joked that I was better then him and he said we are all equal and has said things like he doesn't Haye anyone we were all babies once and stuff like that. I wanna trust my self and my friend but idk.