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I really don’t like it when OCD ruins excitement. Excitement is usually a rare feeling for me , but it feels like I’m walking on ice, trying not to let ocd “ruin” my excitement. 🙃

What is a healthy way to deal with false memories? Especially very vivid ones? I’ve been feeling relatively anxiety-free over the past few days but it suddenly started again because I got triggered by going on a beautiful date with my partner :( I’m so sad that these happy moments always trigger intrusive thoughts. Essentially, about a year and a half ago, I went to karaoke with my friend group. At one point, I went into the bathroom and a guy in our friend group was waiting to use the bathroom after me. I passed him in the quiet, dark and empty hallway. I remember I had an intrusive thought about making out with him in that moment. It lingered even after I got back from the bathroom. For a year and a half, I didn’t think about that incident at ALL. I have gone through so many cheating ROCD phases since then (even one super recently about 3 weeks ago), but never have I EVER considered that I may have cheated physically in any way (it was always centered around digital/emotional cheating). I know for a fact that if something had happened, there is absolutely NO way that I would have just forgotten about it. Cheating ROCD has been my main theme since I first got with my partner, and I know for a fact that there is no way I would ever cheat on him or trigger that in any way. Well for some random reason, this memory popped into my head. I pictured myself making out with him in the bathroom. I feel sick and panicked. The image of that happening is literally like a nightmare. When I replay it in my head, I start to panic and I feel like vomiting and confessing. I am so terrified now that it may have happened. The thing is, this guy is in our friend group and he was dating my friend at the time. He’s still in my social circle. I feel like I would absolutely know if I had made out with him - socially, *something* would have changed right? We have literally no messages together, no indication of any sort of romantic interaction EVER. I also don’t drink, so I know I was sober when it “happened,” so there is no issue of alcohol potentially clouding my mind. I keep replaying the image of us making out and it’s making me so so sick, physically. The thing is, at the time I remember that I had an intrusive thought about making out with him, and I remember that I deliberately walked past him and kept telling myself that I’m innocent, that nothing happened, and I remember questioning it even from the moment that I walked past him. Why is the memory so vivid? Should I keep replaying it?

There's no other way to explain it but it feels like I'm on the edge of losing my mind. I've been struggling for the past month a lot and my biggest fear now is schizophrenia. And every day it feels like I'm waiting to get it. I'm waiting to start hallucinations or psychosis to come. Obviously I don't want that at all I would do anything for that not to happen but because I'm so scared it feels like any second it could happen and like I'm waiting for it. Like I'm listening to music and I'm afraid I'm gonna hear something that isn't there. Or even looking around I'm afraid to see something that isn't there. I'm trying really hard to let the fear be, let the thoughts come, say maybe maybe not, try to not figure it out. But it's not helping I'm more and more scared and tired every day

Can anyone give me any tips on how to stop seeking reassurance. Once I start I can’t stop

I have some questions for anyone experiencing this subtype. I have been constantly in fight or flight anxiety for the past 6 days. My heart is beating out of my chest, I can’t sit still, and I hate being home alone/ bored. My mind tells me that it’s only a matter of time before I do something cause I won’t be able to handle this intense anxiety anymore. It’s really scary and really distressing to me. Can OCD convince you that you want to do something even when your body language is screaming no? Any suggestions on how to manage this/ has anyone else experienced these feelings? Thanks in advance!

is reading through posts to find someone to relate to in regards of a symptom a compulsion? i do that all of the time because i feel like an outcast even though i’m not diagnosed. i literally feel like i won’t get diagnosed, but instead i’m just using ocd as a way to deny who i really am. another thought i’ve been having is what if i have anxiety because i can’t act on it instead of because i’m scared i will act on it? i typically relate my feelings to all of this too and it feels like i want to everytime i think about it. however i’ve never done anything remotely harmful. i actually am staying with my sister for the week hoping it will help the thoughts and alleviate them since i’m more isolated. and no matter how much proof there is or how much i remind myself of who i was before this that i’m not this person, the urges and feeling like i genuinely want to i get when the thoughts come just overrides everything.

Like an hour ago I posted that I had an involuntary hand movement the exact same time that my brother walked by at my side (my hand didn’t touch him or anything it just moved) , and since I was looking for reassurance nocd marked my post as that, but I’m scared of me being misinterpreted, because I forgot mentioning that my hand DID NOT touched anything , it just moved, but I’m ruminating about people misunderstanding my post and thinking that I did something that I don’t and I feel so anxious right now 😭

I was so good for such a long time. I felt like I truly had a handle on things and everything was going well. Moved to a new city recently and now OCD moved with me and is taking up even more space. Being alone is hard enough! It makes me so angry that on top of the stress of readjusting to a new place, I’m having to fight off these thoughts and feelings like a wildfire. Leave me alone! I hate it. I was so happy. The world I lived in was great. Now everywhere I go I’m convinced that everyone despises me or I’m covered in diseases or whatever the hell it is at that given moment. It’s got me in this box because I feel like I can’t say anything to anyone without asking for reassurance. Now I am just filled with a burning frustration nonstop. Anger isn’t an emotion I usually experience as a result of ocd but I’ve had it. It’s so so so annoying damnit

18+ please! Sorry if this inappropriate. Does anyone else deal with the consequences of having consumed pornography and has ocd? Can you tell me if you also have a lot of intrusive thoughts during sexual activity? I'm not proud to say that I had access to this type of content at a young age and it grew with me until the first years of my adult life. I only became aware of the extent of the damage when I received my ocd diagnosis and even though my therapist and I believe that I have had ocd since childhood, addiction to pornography was an important factor in making the disorder worse since I suffer from graphic images and sexual content intrusive thoughts I've been trying to learn how to have a good relationship with my sexuality without using pornography for a few months, but it's not always easy to use my imagination when I have some tabs open in my head that get in my way. I really can't and don't want to have access to any type of adult content anymore, but I always think it's easier to be able to "silence" intrusive thoughts. It's happened several times where I try to use my imagination and then I have an intrusive thought and I think I stimulated myself by thinking about it and it's just disgusting and I feel really bad. I've been trying to deal with this for months and with medical help for both problems, I really feel dirty and lost about it and I don't know how to make it stop. I spent days avoiding even thinking about anything sexual so I wouldn't have to deal with it, but my therapist said that this is also unhealthy and can become a compulsion, so I don't know what to do. Anyone who goes through/has gone through something similar?

I am having a really bad ocd flare up while typing this so bare with me but i keep thinking about things I hate. Like people, for example this one guy from my English class who made me super uncomfortable and he liked me i guess and he was really gross and just made me feel like crying and I just feel disgusted but for some reason since school has ended anything i like or want to do he comes to mind because he in my mind is something I hate so like my ocd just pushes him and like animals dying to my eyes and I can’t stop thinking of his name and his nasty face and I can’t look at the number that’s his age or numbers similar or I freak out and feel like crying like i was just looking at summer clothing and for some reason opening my laptop correlates to him because of a past freak out I had while opening my laptop and I just feel like crying because the stuff I looked at was perfect but anytime i get close to my laptop i just think of his nasty rude gross i can’t even explain this ocd feeling towards him my teacher had forced me to sit behind him and he would always turn halfway rub his disgusting beard and read during reading time and once i told my teacher how I felt she let me move to the back of the class but I still had to be in the same class of him and the fact he might still come back next year haunts me i am just crying this has happened with other people before too but it’s just random people that my mind targets I feel so disgusting I feel like he had nasty thoughts of me i just don’t know but yeah everything i do correlates to something bad, and for the past 2 weeks it’s been that. If anyone has advice please help

I saw this stupid TikTok about ‘sanpaku’ eyes and different eyes and what they mean and it showed these serial killers and how white shows at the top of their eyes and they pull a shocked expression and it’s like a psychotic look they pull and then I started pulling faces in the mirror like widening my eyes like in those pictures and then last night I was doing it infront of a mirror and I don’t know why I done it for a long time and quite a few times and it got to the point where I was staring so hard into the mirror pulling that face thag I literally felt demented or literally felt in that moment that I’m actually evil and the fact I felt like I wanted to pull that psychotic face like it felt like I actually wanted to pull the face and imagine that about myself and I know I use to test myself a lot with thoughts but this literally felt real like there’s something wrong with me and then it felt like something inside me wanted to smile and that I’m ‘holding back a smile or happiness’ like it almost felt like I enjoyed pulling that face and trying to imagine I’m evil and then I’m think there’s some people who try to imitate these evil killers and why do I keep doing things like this like I have no reason to be pulling those faces and Idk if I’m confused but it felt like I almost ‘enjoyed’ imaging that about myself or pulling those faces. Now it feels like I’m obsessed with doing that eye widening thing and throughout the day I keep doing it and the fact it felt so real that I’m evil or it almost felt like I got mesmerised looking at my face pulling that expression in the mirror like I kept staring and it felt like I wanted to pull that face but why would I want to see myself pulling a psychotic/Demeted face and someone asked me something like are you experimenting and trying to see how you feel if your evil or how those evil people feel but that literally sounds like something someone evil would do now it feels like I’m addicted to pulling that face and I don’t get anxiety I just felt demented in that moment of pulling that face what does this mean? Idk how to deal with this and I get no anxiety or anything anymore like why am I trying to imagine myself being evil or model myself on these evil people it’s almost like I’m trying my best to convince myself I’m evil instead of trying to prove I’m not or what if it’s because I actually am evil or want to be someone said you would know to you wanted to be and I say to them I literally don’t know if I’m like that or want that I’ve become so confused before I knew I didn’t but now I don’t. Even know what I feel someone said to me ‘do you feel happy imaging those things or you would know if you like it’ and it feels like I don’t even know because I’m believing it so much and the face I’ve been pulling since I watched that TikTok literally Looks so demented like I actually look evil and it feels like it’s stained me doing that face like I feel like I’m actually evil because of pulling that face

I’m too far gone I don’t think I can ever recover that part of me that didn’t constantly worry my brain is now bringing up things that I did when I was a kid I didn’t know any better I really am sorry but I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong I was curious and I shouldn’t have done it

I can’t shake this , I don’t know what it is. i struggle with derealzation terribly and it’s been being triggered by my boyfriend , I don’t know what it is and it scares me so much, he’s my favorite person and my mind keeps telling me “ he don’t exist” or I can’t recognize him. It started last night because my mind starting make all these fears and I just have never felt this bad .. I really would like some words or help if anybody can relate or share ?🥺

How can I go back to my studying. I'm having a one month break from classes to self study what I've left behind. It's already in the 2nd week of the month and I haven't done any studies. My OCD had been so hard lately. I don't have interest in my future anymore ( even though my future isn't in a state that I should be staying like this right now). How do you guys manage to study with OCD happening. How should I put myself to study

I feel like my body and mind are just so tired of being stuck in these same mental loops of torment with OCD and don’t know how to do anything else. I feel exhausted from not being able to cure myself out of these thoughts and self-destructive habits and that I’m not going to make it out of them because I’ve been tied down to this illness for so long. I wish things could have been different growing up and I took care of myself better so I wouldn’t have gotten so negative and loved myself more so these thoughts wouldn’t be so potent. I’ve had OCD most of my life, and I just don’t get how other people can live their lives normally and not suffer so heavily. I get really mad knowing I’m stuck in this vicious cycle and other people can enjoy life so easily. And now the summer is coming and it’s when I get the most depressed and feel so helpless from sadness, and my OCD has only just gotten worse. I feel like I just don’t have the energy to take care of myself anymore, and hate how anxious I am about actually telling people what’s going on with me in fear of judgment and not accepting me, so I just go along with self-sabotaging habits. I’m also afraid that nobody is going to want to help me. This only makes things worse, and it’s really hard for me to be happy. I just don’t know how to cope anymore. It makes it so hard to function as a human since I’ve been struggling for so long. I feel so disconnected from God because of this illness, and it only makes me more upset with myself for lack of effort and feel depressed. Please if someone is struggling with something similar or has advice, reach out ❤️

First I would like to say is that tw and I also can’t afford a therapist and please give me advice I have no peace in my mind I just want to be a normal person again. Since 2022 I have been getting filthy unwanted sexual thoughts towards children I feel awful about it because it goes against my morals and characters as a human being. I feel like a horrible person and I feel like I have no rest in my mind, everyday it’s the same thoughts that torment me and I happens all hours of the day there’s not an hour that goes by the day that I don’t get these ugly horrible thoughts. I recently started getting “feelings” down there and I hate it. These thoughts came back again stronger this February. I also believe in Christ so if you have advice of how I can pray against this because I don’t really know what’s the root of these thoughts. As long as I have these thoughts I can never be free these thoughts have put me back into a state of depression and well as suicidal thoughts I just feel like I’m living hell on earth I am also 17 years old female, so please someone help me. I have tried praying against these thoughts but nothing, I have tried deliverance prayers worship etc but nothing. — I also tagged Christian ocd for advice !!

I feel as though dopamine really affects my ocd. Like if I’m a high like after having a coffee or getting out and doing some I enjoy and being social. My ocd is gone. However when I’m home or a bit lonely it comes on pretty strongly. I’m on lexapro and I do ERP so those flare ups aren’t as life threatening as they used to be. But feels like depression is a gateaway for my OCD to attack me.

so i’m not diagnosed with ocd (as i’ve said a lot of times) but everyone i’ve talked to on this app agrees that i most likely have it. and i strongly 100% agree with contamination ocd. however i’m scared about whether that’s true for my harm thoughts. so i recently discovered pure o because i don’t typically do physical compulsions as much as mental compulsions with my harm thoughts. and i ruminate, have intense anxiety, check my feelings, the whole 10. but one thing that i don’t know if it’s normal is when people say they’re “unwanted” or you really don’t WANT to do them, i literally feel like i do. and when the urges get strong, i don’t know what’s holding me back because while i’ve never ever acted on it, it genuinely feels like i want to. my brain has literally convinced me that i have anxiety because i can’t do it instead of because i’m scared i will do it. is this a normal thing?

I think I might start panicking or something man…..it’s been a while since I actually started to become worried a lot over intrusive thoughts. I planned on doing homework for my summer classes today but I can’t seem to right now. I can’t concentrate. goooossshhhh I hate this

Hi, its so frustrating to experience how people try to comfort me when I choose to be open(after 28 years without saying anything), it feels good to share and explain what ocd is and how it works for me. Often I realize how difficult it is for others to grasp and how common it is that people say: oh! All people have thoughts like that, or they say, it's just a matter of thinking positive. I understand they try to comfort and encourage but its creating a desperate feeling inside me that I will never manage to reach a way of telling about ocd that will make people really listen and understand.