I really don’t like it when OCD ruins excitement. Excitement is usually a rare feeling for me , but it feels like I’m walking on ice, trying not to let ocd “ruin” my excitement. 🙃
I relate to you, you arnt alone. Emotions are meant to be felt and life is full of all different ones, right? Something that has helped me is that when I feel super bad about a “possibility” or “intrusive thoughts” I challenge myself to give the same amount of attention to a thought that is positive and happy. You deserve to feel excited for a moment even if that means ocd will take it away. I hope you can find balance ❤️
Maybe you will have one maybe you won't. Thinking and focusing on the feeling is what makes it more powerful and persistent. I know it's hard but try not to care because the reality is that even if you do have one it doesn't matter! It's just a lil thought and then it can go away with practice. I went to a concert last night and was terrified of having ocd thoughts. TADA I had OCD thoughs.... But I felt maybe yes maybe no and let it go just as it came and a lil later I was back to enjoying the music! I had so much fun last night it was amazing! What helped me the most is accepting that I will have more OCD thoughs forever just like literally every other human haha. They just don't have to matter we make them matter.
Why is OCD always there?!?! I can’t relax for a minute or my thoughts are seeking things to ruminate about
OCD is so strange because I feel so mentally exhausted 24/7 but i’m so good at masking it that like it’s like i can think double. I’m not sure that makes sense. But i am so used to the OCD thoughts racing through my head that i can respond to my environment whilst completely existing in my head. I can have conversations when intrusive thoughts are taking over my inner dialect. I feel like i am even doubting whether i have OCD and whether it’s all just an excuse. I feel like my rumination hasn’t stopped for the past 3 years. Everything i used to enjoy or look forward to, is now dread and tainted by the thoughts telling me i never knew. I don’t even know what i like or who i am anymore. The thought of getting help and talking through it all scares me because what if i’m invalidated or if i speak about it too much then what if i don’t stop thinking. I’m so exhausted
My Ocd turns everything innocent and normal into something horrible. Sometimes when my daughter and I are watching tv she will want to play with and brush my hair. It feels so nice and relaxing or she will cuddle up and rub her feet on mine which is relaxing and makes me feel sleepy but ocd ruins it by telling me it’s inappropriate and that i’m enjoying something inappropriate. One day I saw a snapchat video my young grandson made of himself just out of the shower looking at himself shirtless in the mirror and I was thinking that he thinks he’s so cool and is probably going to flex like all boys do and laughed to myself but then the ocd kicked in and said that I was attracted to him and it made me so upset because I never have and don’t think of any child in that way. I don’t feel that way so how can ocd try to make me believe that I do?? How can ocd be more powerful than my own actual thoughts and feelings? This disorder is so debilitating and upsetting. I can’t live like this.
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