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working to conquer OCD
I'm sitting in a hospital right now having what they think is an OCD episode...worst I've ever had and I'm terrified. Like I hate hospitals and tests and waiting because that starts the worry cycle all over.
it’s gotten to the point where it’s way too hard to pray. i can’t pray. so many bad thoughts at once and it’s too much and i can’t tell which ones are mine bc there’s too much. I can’t read the bible or anything. and then i get thought that makes me feel bad for not praying or reading my bible and it’s awful. ik God is good but these thoughts are scary and not okay and i’m afraid He doesn’t want me anymore and idk what to do. i try to reason with myself but it only does so much. i just can’t deal with it and ive prayed ab my ocd but it hasn’t gone away
Can thoughts or this disorder makes you want to have the intrusive thoughts to happen even when you don't and it becomes a confusing mess? Because I'm dealing with that rn and it's hard to manage.
I’m starting to feel like I need to grieve the idea of being a mom. With this disorder (especially the theme I have) I feel like there’s no way I could move past this; put it behind me and have a happy life with a partner and kids. Even though that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t want to mess up my kids by not being able to be present and don’t feel like I would ever find a person to fall in love with who would put up with this part of me. And I wonder if maybe I’ve made marriage and kids an idol in my life and maybe I just need to lay it down at Gods feet and accept that it may never happen for me. I guess that’s part of accepting uncertainty huh. It’s so hard bc that’s all I’ve ever dreamed of my whole life, but these past few months have shattered my idea of what my life would be like.
when I first started having intrusive thoughts I was very anxious. But the real anxiety that just wouldn’t go away started when I did my research about why I have these intrusive thoughts. I mean it somehow felt good to know that you are not the only one struggling with these thoughts but on the other hand, learning how severe ocd is brought me a lot of panic and stress. Especially when reading about peoples experiences with ocd and them saying, that they struggled with this their whole life. The thing is, I don’t even know if I have ocd or if it’s just the panic that my research caused and therefore caused anxiety that fed my intrusive thoughts. Anyone else experiencing this or know something about this???
When i play video games, i start to feel so guilty and bad. Because i feel like playing video games will make me a bad person, a rageful, angry person and that will lead me to be the person i hate. I feel like if i play games, it will make me an unfaithful, narcissist, angry, rageful person and it will ruin my future, my academy and it will lead me to do things i don't want. I feel like im becoming someone horrible. Other than that i extremely fear being like my mother. Im truly scared of that. I don't want to be angry, harmful to everyone around me. I don't want to be a narcissistic person who rants about everything for hours, gets angry at the smallest thing, blames people, belittles them. I especially don't want to hurt my partner. Im scared to hurt kids and animals, im scared of anger. When i get angry sometimes, i feel extremely guilty and bad. And i feel like im the most terrible person alive. Other than these, im scared to see my partner, my love for him as an exaggeration, i feel like i won't care about him or say "he is not a big deal, i don't mind not loving, hurting him" etc. Im scared to be like the people who hurts their partner, never cares about their partner, see them as a tool.
I’ve been dealing with a lot of anger recently. She had a pregnancy scare and I immediately stepped in to help her, except I didn’t feel anxious or even really bad for her because I’ve been pregnant before. When I was pregnant she wasn’t there for me during my abortion and honestly nobody was. It’s my fault cuz I said it was fine but I feel like a real friend would have showed up anyways. I found myself helping her and telling her I would help her pay for her abortion if she needed it, but I realize she would never do that for me. It made me feel angry and now I’m having moral OCD about my empathy towards people. Someone called me a narcissist on this sub yesterday and it’s been freaking me out because I always worry that I am one and I have been spiraling ever since.
I have rocd which makes me feel like I’m not attracted to my boyfriend But now I have done something wrong and I’m trying not to self harm because of it I keep seeing this guy at the gym who I had a thing with when me and my boyfriend weren’t together and we’ve been talking loadsss when we see eachother and its very flirty I have told my boyfriend whenever this happens but haven’t told him about it yesterday because he said if it happens again he will break up with me and also he’s going through stuff so really don’t wanna make him upset I hold my hands up and know I shouldn’t keep ACTING on the thoughts because that’s when it’s bad But I just get so scared that I’m not in love with my boyfriend of nearly 4years idk what to do I see a future with him but feel like he deserves much better than me now and that I’ve ruined it and that it’s not real because I’ve been disrespectful And like when I’m with him I’m not thinking about the other guy or anything and like I’m genuinely happy with him but sometimes I get thoughts everytime I say “I love you” that’s like: “no you don’t “ or “you’re lying” “you’re not attracted to him” Don’t know what’s wrong with me just want to love my boyfriend peacefully but I’m the one ruining it like why don’t I have self control
I am interested to know has anyone here decided not to have children because of the risk of severe OCD resulting in a terrible life? How has that experience been for you? I am going through this myself at the moment but of course my OCD makes me doubt every decision I ever make. One minute I want something, the next minute I don’t!
Why do intrusive thoughts feel so real? I sometimes fear it isn't OCD and I actually do feel/think those things and it causes me immense distress.
Hey everyone! I'm VERY new to this app. I'm not sure if I have OCD, but I feel like I do. I had horrible anxiety since I was a child, and I felt like I was crazy because the adults always laughed at my irrational concerns haha. I can't really afford to get diagnosed, and I'm also scared what will happen if I do. Maybe I'll get a peace of mind if I get diagnosed, but I know the OCD stereotypes that most people know. I'm afraid they will tell me I don't have it, since I'm not a super tidy, clean person and stuff. But I need answers to understand how to live myself more. What should I do? (Sorry if I said anything wrong in the post 😔🙏🏻)
I'm wondering if it's better or worse to tell your partner about your ocd thoughts, if you can be specific or if it's better to keep it vague bc it's so distressing to hear the specifics to people who are close or if they're like.. rocd threads. Mostly in the context of when they're strong or compulsions are strong.
I was completely under control of my ocd with medication. I always doubt whether I will commit something wrong that was my ocd but I understand that I need to do it by myself if something bad want to happen. Because of my anxiety when I have obsessive thoughts and that only remain as thoughts. But now a new type of thought occurred for first time which I try to eliminate by using logic but I can't. If someone can help me it would be helpful. The thought is when I move my body any parts for eg. Hand I consciously move it with giving force but the real physiology behind this movement is brain send signals to spinal cord then to muscles to carry out movement .then doubting thought arise .so is my brain controlling the movement . Then AM I not fully controlling my voluntary action.can my obession thought take place into action harm obession if I am not fully controlling my body rather brain control it .kindly give me a reply
am i a bad person for not letting these thoughts get to me anymore? I cringe when i get them, but i dont put any meaning behind them. Or atleast i try not to. Am i getting better? Because i feel like im a bad person and actually a p word for “accepting” these thoughts. How am i ever gonna recover if my brain is always doubting?
Ugh, just ugh. Back story : I’m not in the best relationship. Bf struggles with ADHD and anger issues and I struggle with OCD, PTSD, Anxiety, ptsd from domestic violence and abuse from my father. I feel like because often there are fights that leave me feeling like there’s no hope and I’m always gonna be in these situations; also bc I can never leave bc then I’d have to live with my dad, which is impossible I’d rather seriously expire. It’s just not safe for me, but I’m in this situation now and I live with him and his older brother and his wife. Also, totally afraid regardless if I should be or not that if I ever brought up breaking up ever it would be bad and no one would help me out at all. That’s probably mostly the trauma but I can think any other way honestly. But things get better and I try and I do love him. Anyways, I feel like because of this if any guy treats me with respect and is actually interested in what I say… I like obsess over them or something like definitely a lot of pure o checking in my head and it’s exhausting and I feel gross and I feel evil and I feel awful. I just wish this stuff would stop. I wish I could make better decisions. I wish this wasn’t apart of my life :( ocd is tough af. I’m tough as nails and it’s so exhausting. So mentally tiring. There’s this guy I’ve known since I’ve known my bf and he was interesting and we have common interests anyways. They’re friends ofc and when he comes over it’s just hell for my mind no matter how proactive I try to be. There’s always this chance that “he could be my soul mate” “he could share the same feelings” and then like things go bad between me and my bf and I’ll have dreams about his friend and I’m like wtf which if I have a dream I remember I think it must be a sign. “It must be a sign” should be tatted on my head. Any wise words? Am I awful? How can I stop this? Bc I’m trying, probably not hard enough. I have my boundaries and try to control myself as much as possible but it’s hard too bc I’m very kind and outgoing and we have a lot in common, and my relationship is toxic at times. Idk man I’m tired. I could go on and on about this but yeah just wanted to get it off my chest and feel heard tbh.
Hello, this is my first time posting! I just want to reflect on how cruel and unfair OCD is. It’s so hard to tell where OCD ends and where you begin, and vice versa. Anything and everything can become a compulsion, and there’s no real way to know without falling into a trap. I honestly thought I was just being responsible and aware before finding out it’s all been ruminating and mental compulsions my entire life. Breaking away from the pattern of Pure-OCD is brutal, but necessary to get my life back. Anyone else feel this way?
Hi all! Any tips for riding out an OCD episode? Trying not to use safety behaviours/compulsions or ruminate etc.
I’m trying to get past the thought in my head that “this is not ocd”. Mainly because I’m not doing compulsions that much anymore it’s just the constant thoughts and still some anxiety from them. The idea that I haven’t figured this out puts a pit in my stomach and brings me to tears. I just know if I do compulsions it’ll feel like the cycle will never stop and it’s exhausting. I already think about this every second of the day and I feel like I can’t enjoy anything so my mind says “well you’re not doing compulsions you’re just anxious about the fact that your life is gonna change and you don’t want it to”. This is so hard I don’t know what to do
i obsess over extremely negative unwanted thoughts and no matter how hard i try to convince myself they’re just thoughts and i don’t actually want that they continue to almost consume me in a way? it’s like a constant battle with myself and there’s been many times where it physically makes me ill and distressed and like i need to tell someone even if it also affects them. i have some decent days where i can fight them but ive noticed when im stressed i can only fight them for so long. i seriously feel crazy 99% of the time and like nobody understands me. everyone always tells me they get bad thoughts too and it’s human which i understand but not everyone gets them to the extent of some others. its to a point where i just want to give up sometimes so i won’t have to deal with the thoughts. of course i never would but my mind does go there.
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