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the NOCD Community

I have no idea what thoughts are REAL, sincere guilty thoughts, and what thoughts are FAKE OCD guilty thoughts. I don't trust my thoughts... it's an awful, weird feeling. Almost sickening that I don't know which thoughts are real.

I'm kind of a techie person and I've got a PSVR2 headset and controllers. I like playing games with stories to progress as opposed to those VR "experiences" that are more like a playground for playing with the engine's physics and things like that. I find storied games more immersive and easier to lose yourself in I've noticed when I'm feeling really anxious or intrusive thoughts are bothering me a lot, I'll play VR to distract myself. I don't know if it's an avoidance compulsion to try to shut out the intrusive thoughts and anxiety they bring Does anyone else have any escapism habits like this?

I feel like I am at the top of the age bracket here. I have lived so long with OCD and finally getting targeted help. It fascinates and frightens me. I wish I had this earlier in my life.

I feel like I’ve become more selfish since opening up to my family about ocd. I’ve yet to been diagnosed, but I’ve talked to them about intrusive thoughts during a really bad period. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t open up and kept it to myself. I feel like I expect them to know when something is wrong, and im more focused on myself. I miss how things used to be, and how I could talk to them without them knowing them something is wrong with me. I feel like they treat me differently now, and I’m aware of that in the back of my mind. They don’t call me out of things they would’ve before, and I think I use this as an excuse for my bad attitude at times. I feel like I isolate myself a bit more because of this, but I know I’m in the wrong here.

Does anyone have any tips or advice for handling the OCD flare up during the pre-period time? I have PCOS too and the hormonal changes can rlly make OCD ramp it up in the time before my period. Anyone experiencing a similar thing found ways to improve that?

I am having horrible thoughts on purpose and I don’t know why. I hate having them. Is it ocd related?

Feeling like I am mourning a bit for all the years of OCD, and for all the days that have been so difficult to get through the day, where I get stopped and have to put in a lot of effort mentally before I can go back to my daily tasks. Ended up in tears tonight. I barely ever cry. In some ways, I feel like death. I am not suicidal. I don’t mean that. But it’s a good description for how I feel. I don’t know what to do with myself. And I don’t know what to do to go forward. No one understands me. I know you all do. But almost everyone does not, and my immediate family does not. They do not know how hard things have been. I am tired of all the effort it takes to get through the day. I am so tired from all my daily effort that I don’t have energy to express myself and how I feel inside. And it seems like no one in this world really cares anyway. I say this not as a pity party, but because it’s true. People don’t care about each other anymore. I don’t know what to do with myself tonight. I am going to go downstairs and eat some food. Then, after I have been sad for a while, I am going to get back into life…This is the decision that I have made. I am tired of never letting anyone know how I feel inside. I am tired of people not understanding. I am tired of all my confusion and my perfectionism. I am tired of my constant fear. I am tired of all the effort it takes to do anything in life because mentally I am trying to keep myself safe. I don’t know what to do with the “tiredness.” It’s there every day. I don’t know how to move beyond my issues. I have constant confusion, overthinking, and fear.

lately i’ve been having pretty bad ocd days but today was definitely one of my worst days. i just feel like such an awful person and the ocd is really eating at me. i try really hard, or i feel like i do sometimes. i try to talk to my mom and she says she understands but she doesn’t- and i hate it. i can’t even get dressed in certain clothing or watch a show i like anymore without ocd interfering. my mind is all over the place and i feel so helpless. i just wish it’d stop.

for context i am a big people pleaser and am still in contact/friends with my ex. last weekend i was telling him about my sexual experiences with another guy i’ve been talking to. moral of the story i told my ex after and hour he never made me finish. now this wasn’t a big deal to me nor was it a bad experience but i gave my ex details and am scared i was making fun of the guy im talking to by telling him this. i also told him this because i knew it would make him feel better about himself/people pleasing. i guess im just worried i was making fun of him because i said he didn’t make me finish after an hour and scared i added lmao to the end of that. i don’t remember if i did but it just makes me feel guilty. i never said the experience was bad.

I'm a complete loser and lost case .... I have had the same ocd thought that has taken my dream job away and made my life so small and still don't have success in getting a job because of my ocd it's been seven years .... I am now getting TMS everyday but I'm a broken woman angry and in pain

i am really really struggling. recently people haven't been answering me on here and i feel insane. i am at 150 mg of sertraline and i technically feel better but it's freaking me out. im scared because my obsessions are lessened so does that mean i don't care anymore?!? im really scared of going insane, cheating, being a bad person. the obsessions of these ideas are causing me to actually get upset outwardly which makes it seem even more real. i also have been thinking i may have bpd and that's consuming and im scared and idk why. please help me please

Is anyone else on here who is a Christian, struggling with the back and forth of letting the thoughts pass, but also feeling the constant NEED to fight them because were supposed to “take our thoughts captive” and I don’t want to feel like I’m accepting the thoughts and feelings as truth. Sometimes what people advise to do in the church can seem Contradictory to the practices of ERP I feel like it’s a vicious cycle and trap for my mind of how to actually healthily cope with all of this crap. Like I know there’s a healthy balance and combination and validity in the fact that just not fighting it so hard doesn’t mean your accepting it as truth. Like I can think logically about it but then still feel stuck like it’s impossible and I don’t know which way is the right way.

This so called “effective” treatment of ocd is not at all working my stress levels are getting higher my blood pressure is going out of control I’m overwhelmed and exhausted my brain doesn’t stop thinking and thinking and thinking the stress is killing me erp is failing horribly because I’m not able to sit with the discomfort I don’t know how you people do it because it’s not working I’m trying to go back to doing compulsions because erp simply does not work

Does anyone else have to ACTIVELY fight OCD? It’s a battle all the time in order for me to function. Letting the thoughts “just exist” is a ton of work. My mental energy is absolutely gone by the middle of the day. Am I just doing this wrong??

what is your experience? Weed helped me realize i also had an OCD diagnosis along with my AuDHD. Weed was an enhancement drug for me and I notice that it increased my intrusive thoughts BUT only when i was already in a state of anxiety while sober. If i was happy then obsessive thoughts of joy and ruminative yet this only when i smoke the strain sativa. When i smoke indica my thoughts slowed down more, but so did everything else. For me indica affected my body more. But in moments where my mind couldn’t even move to get up or used the restroom. Only in bliss would i be able to fall asleep. I want to journey on Weed with this App so if you’d like to join ! Feel free :D I can also go on to make another post how it affect my autism and my adhd.

I just am so sick of constantly battling my mind it’s so fucking annoying like what’s even the point of spending anymore time on earth if non existence is preferable to existence. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD but more obsessions than compulsions it’s really more of a mental fight than anything psychical although I do have a bit of that contamination OCD. I’ve tried the SSRIs and I would 100% reccomend them to anyone who has OCD but it feels like there are too many triggers that force me back into that intrusive thought loop which is just hellish. Its really hard to imagine any sort of torture that could be worse than those thought loops genuinely hard to conceive of any torture even physically that could be worse than that. I have actually been doing much better recently but I really just can’t conceive of going back into another one of those fucking miserable intrusive thought loops again like I see the symptoms coming back and the feeling that I get before the intrusive thoughts start really really piling in has come back again. Idk just thought I should share my experience like anyone else who has this mental condition I feel really sorry for. Here’s something that I read I feel like was really important that I wanted to share with anyone else who has OCD “You are a sensitive person, so altruistic that you get worried by even having bad thoughts. Learn to be a bit more selfish, and fight for your own happiness. You truly deserve it!”

Oh… the internet. Internet articles and INFORMATION OVERLOAD. Are parts of my OCD theme, and it hasn’t given me a break in the past while. Does this bug anyone else? I’m trying my best to stay present and just pretend I never read certain triggering information.

Ugh I wanna cry. ERP therapy feels like torture. I know I need it but I wanna cry. I’m tortured

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure if just being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lost this little bit of insight I have. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

My OCD has been flaring since last night and all morning. Then I get a moment of clarity and apply the tools that I've learned, ground myself again, and continue on with my day. Then a slight thought will trigger my OCD and I'm fighting it again. It keeps happening and its still just 10 am right now. Has this happened to anyone else? What things have you done or told yourself that were helpful for you when this happened to you?