- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Torture
Ugh I wanna cry. ERP therapy feels like torture. I know I need it but I wanna cry. I’m tortured
Ugh I wanna cry. ERP therapy feels like torture. I know I need it but I wanna cry. I’m tortured
I’m so sorry. It’s really difficult isn’t it :( what exposures are you currently working on?
@blazed The “what if I have crush on ___” and “what if I’m a bad person for not feeling scared that I have a crush on ___ as if I don’t care if I do”
@Ishil Are you working with a therapist on this?
@blazed Yeah. I’m just feeling intense because this is my first time
@Ishil The first time is always the hardest. But you took the first step towards recovery and you should be proud of yourself! It takes time, but it will get easier. You’re doing a great job and keep on pushing forward. You got this!
I dunno maybe it’s just me but I felt tortured before ERP anyway, so for me I just felt I might as well do the torture that’s designed to help me
I understand 100%! Sending hugs! You’ve got this!
i don’t think i can, i can’t stomach the possibility of these things, or maybe i can (because they might be true and deep down i know that) and just don’t want to and want to pretend it isn’t there. i can’t do ERP, i just want to pretend it isnt there and won’t happen to clarify, i know i have to do ERP, i know it’s necessary; i don’t need to be told this, this is just how i am feeling currently
So you got to ask me anything… Now I’d like to ask you something! I’ve heard from Members that they were so scared coming to their first ERP session. They were terrified that I would think they were crazy, that I would tell them their worst fears were true. That I would confirm they are some form of a terrible person or have them hauled off to prison for their thoughts. I’ve also had Members share how they’re very scared to begin ERP treatment because they’ve researched enough to know it means facing the fear, without the compulsions that have kept them feeling safe (but not really safe) this entire time. They struggled to see how they could be capable of doing this, while simultaneously acknowledging that they did not want to live like this anymore. If you have had your first session, what were your thoughts before? Did you have any hesitations or fears going into it? How did it turn out? If you haven’t yet begun to work with an ERP specialist, what is holding you back?
Can I hear some examples of specific parts of ERP that has helped you? I've been doing talk therapy for a few years and the major issue I have with it is that I already have analyzed all of my problems from every angle, so I'm kind of just sitting there yapping about it for an hour. I need solutions and things that make me feel better.
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