obsessing about not obsessing

i am really really struggling. recently people haven't been answering me on here and i feel insane. i am at 150 mg of sertraline and i technically feel better but it's freaking me out. im scared because my obsessions are lessened so does that mean i don't care anymore?!? im really scared of going insane, cheating, being a bad person. the obsessions of these ideas are causing me to actually get upset outwardly which makes it seem even more real. i also have been thinking i may have bpd and that's consuming and im scared and idk why. please help me please

Username: CjmeyersCjmeyers

Date posted: 49w ago

That sucks that people havent been responding recently. I dont think it means you dont care anymore. You are obviously a very caring person. But the medication is doing its job, and a thats a good thing! But i agree it does mess with your head. It feels weird to not have your thoughts be so loud.

Username: User11123User11123

Date posted: 49w ago

I also feel nervous when my medication starts working with regard to contamination Ocd, because I worry that I will not be vigilant enough and will let in something I shouldn’t. But the more you lean into it, the easier it becomes. I hope you start to feel better soon :)

Username: sage111sage111

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 49w ago

I have the SAME exact experience this is so cool to hear I’m not alone. I found that I have obsessions about being a mean person or too moody or that I have a mood disorder like BPD too. Every time I have a minor conflict, set boundaries, or when I feel moody/cranky I feel so guilty after as well and apologize many times as a compulsion and it’s a messy cycle. But experiencing ups and downs in our emotions is super normal. Just as you would understand and empathize with those around you for having emotional/moody times, they will for you too and most likely dont view you negatively for having those emotions. I was also on sertraline for about 5 years and had the same exact fear, but it really does not change who you are as a person, only allows you to relax more and be more present. I also have the same fears of going insane, cheating, and being a bad person. Fear of losing control of myself is one super distressing one I’m dealing with too. I hope this message finds you well and lets you know that you are not alone in this world, as finding your post definitely helped me.

Username: monica<3

Date posted: 25w ago

ocd is controlling my life

hey everyone. i’m not sure if this app will help me or not, but i feel the need to try anything because i can’t keep living like this. i struggle with obsessing over everything in my life. it feels like everyday my brain picks a new thing in my life to obsess over. for the past couple days ive been obsessing over my interpersonal relationships. for example; “do i like the people im with” “do i like my friends as more than just friends” “do i actually love these people or am i lying to everyone”. it’s been really messing with me and making me question my support system. i can’t stop stressing. i’m even afraid to talk about it with my therapist because i have those thoughts about her too. i’m new to my OCD diagnosis (got diagnosed last month) i was hospitalized for a week because i couldn’t function. i also obsess over my sexuality and nothing i pick for me ever feels quite right. i recently started a relationship with someone who’s trans, so maybe that’s why? does anyone else go through this? my brain tries to convince me that i do this to myself and that im making it all up. but who would want to feel this way? uggghhh

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 17w ago

Really scared and tired (please read)

So for the past month I have been dealing with the theme of going into a psychosis/or becoming schizophrenic. Having thoughts like is this really my reality? I am really here? I’m I just hallucinating what I want to see and did something horrible? Very scary thoughts. I’ve also been dealing with harm intrusive towards myself and towards my family. Recently this week I’ve developed a new theme of fearing not being able to sleep and going crazy from not being able to sleep. I lay there at night waiting to fall asleep and no matter how tired I was all day sleep doesn’t come. And then when I actually get some hours of sleep I question if I really slept and didn’t just hallucinate sleep. Which is very ridiculous I know. I’m just really scared and feel so helpless right now. I haven’t been diagnosed for OCD but I’m positive it’s what I have. I’m just so tired and feel like crying all the time. Sleep was the one thing I had to escape from all this crap and now that has gotten taken away from me as well. I just want my life back. Yesterday my family came over and for once I was able to forget about the thoughts for the time they were here and it felt so nice. I’m trying so hard to be okay for my family but I’m not. Im drowning on the inside and I just want to breathe. I can’t afford therapy right now and I have been prescribed sertraline 25mg for my anxiety but I’m to scared to take it. If anyone can relate or give me advice it would be greatly appreciated. I know reassurance is not what I should be getting but I’m just so scared.

Username: Sofie_mmm

Date posted: 5w ago

OCD panic

I recently started medication as I have struggled with harm ocd. The thing is is that it’s not actually stopping the thoughts which I know is a given and it’s scaring me more without the anxiety (ruminating) and making me belive it’s possible. And I told this to my friend and she suggested anti psychotics This made me spiral because it made me think that I’m schizophrenia and no hate or judgment to people with schizophrenia it just scared me. I started worrying that I shouldn’t be around people and a horrible person ect I know reassurance is bad but I just need some advice bc I really don’t know what to do and I’m panicking

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