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I literally was sipping sparkling water and I immediately get this thought “Is this what p**** taste like?” Ugh. OCD is a creative jerkwad.

Lately my OCD has been very horrible, it’s been more convincing than ever to the point where I’m genuinely convinced that I like this stuff, when I get a thought, I’ll hear my intrusive thoughts go “oooh, I like that, I’d do that.” and I just don’t freak out nor feel bad, I just feel like I like it even more, and feel like I would do/act on it and like it, and the feeling is strong and it lingers forever? It genuinely feels like I do, and I’m just lying now, i can’t tell if I make these thoughts worse or anything All I remember mostly just being like confused sometimes when these thoughts happen, but since I’m getting strong emotions that I like it, my brain says that means I did and I’m worried about that being true because I don’t understand nor know It’s like I am resisting to like this stuff now, it’s even tougher now than it was before

TW/ sexual ocd This post and how chat gpt responded (saying it’s extreme and harmful and i crossed moral and ethical boundaries is now making me depressed. I’ve been non stop crying. I feel undeserving of life. Here is the post

I stumbled across some adult women’s gym shorts on Amazon and saw really attractive women on there that I liked seeing. Everything was fine til I saw this product that looked like white adult women’s shorts and I was trying to decipher wether or not it was men’s product or women’s (I’m into Women). I tap it and of course (with my bad luck), I saw the word “boys”. I legitimately felt sick to my stomach and closed as fast as I could. I was under the impression that it was adult clothing, given that I was seeing adult clothing all over my page on Amazon and I’d get recommended similar stuff. I had just come out of a therapy session and I didn’t mention the word kids out loud in my session when talking about my POCD with my therapist. I know phones do that thing where they listen to keywords and then you start seeing what you were talking about online or in advertisements. I went back to see if it was gone but then it was still there under the word “girls” and I thought I had seen wrong before so I checked again and NOPE, still had to do with children article of clothing. I tried to get reassurance but it only made things worse. When I think the word girls I think of adults but I wasn’t think when describing clothing you have to mention the word Women’s in order for the system to understand you. This whole situation just made me sick and made my POCD worse. What my therapist tells me is that if I really was a p*do, then I wouldn’t have clicked out of there or have been sick to my stomach or thinking about it at all. I just can’t help it and right now I just feel lots of anxiety. I have a girlfriend and she knows my OCD and I just feel a bit awful. I know deep down I was under the impression I wanted adult women’s clothing and I didn’t search up anything insinuating minors, let alone children. I think these compulsions make things so much worse because I’ll eventually see something that triggers me

referring back to an old post, where i allowed my cat to lick my hand/arm while engaging in compulsion (msturbation) due to a groinal response being caused by the cat licking my hand. i intended to have the cat keep licking my hand and or arm so that i could just finish the compulsion and get it over with. according to CHATGPT i morally and ethically failed me and my cat and i need serious help. also said that this is rare and not seen in ocd. i am so sad. if i do need serious help and seem like a creep, i would want brutal honesty. i feel like i need to be taken away.

just don’t read if not familiar with POCD anyway so like a few months ago when I was yk doing the do with myself I was thinking abt my then bf and then suddenly I pictured my nephew and I was so disgusted by the thought that I stopped but I hated that I thought about it. Now i brushed it off after that because I realized that it was so immoral and disgusting but I feel immense guilt when I look at him or my sister. I avoid holding him now because I feel so ashamed of thinking of him . Once I think I did think abt him as well but then shifted to like ew no that’s gross and then stopped and continued as I thought about my then bf. But still why do these thoughts come up? Should I confess to my sister or forgive myself privately? I feel so compelled to say I’m sorry to her even when I have never done anything to my nephew. I’m just scared what if I’m a monster and am never able to have a normal relationship because my Pocd attaches itself to the kids in my life or even the people in my life such as loved ones. I’m terrified of myself and my body shivers at the thought of being a pedo or part taking in any incest acts.

I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh

Whenever I am near attractive women, I’m afraid I’m going to snap and do something evil ! Sometimes I’ve felt my hips move when they’re near me and I start to freak out worried I was trying to do a hump (lol I sound nuts). My hips have literally moved and it scares me now anytime. Also sometimes when a thought of them pops up my finger randomly moves or sometimes if I’m touching my lips and they pop up in my head I start to worry that I was trying to touch my lips sexually when I thought of them. This has ruined my life I’m scared of myself it feels like I’m not in control of my body I do not wanna be alive anymore I wanna protect the world from me

I’m going to sum this up so it isn’t a long read, basically when I was in middle school I had a friend who was two years younger than me, I was an eighth and she was in sixth grade. We ended up getting closer but at a certain point Around a year ago, I went through our old messages from when I was around 14, and just turned 15, where I had made sexual comments to her, and we are two years apart, to be more specific two and a half years. I am way older now, I am almost 21 soon, but I cannot stop thinking about this and feeling like a p3do. I don’t know what to do, I feel like a bad person, I also live a spiritual way of life, or I am trying, and it feels like I’m undeserving because I did this.

my real ocd will not leave me alone at the lowest point ever in my life. its making everything so much worse and I can't even confess or talk to anyone about it because it's so awful and disgusting. my fear is that I don't deserve to have the people who love me in my life, or if they knew what I did when I was younger (kid/early teen) they would see me differently and be disgusted. Its terrifying. Even if i was just "curious", didn't know hiw bad it actually was just that you dont do that type of thing, or was just hyper sexual, I don't know. I keep doing a compulsion thinking "if my partner or someone I know tells me they did this at that age, would I be abke to be okay with it or not judge them?" and it's can't give myself a clear answer??? which is terrifying because then obviously i don't deserve to be happy or have these people in my life. im disgusted, im dealing with so much other stuff right now that is more urgent, but this decided to sneak up again. I can't take it.

This might contain triggering content, just a fair warning. The real event I'm struggling with revolves around the fear that I assaulted my sister when we were younger. It all happened around the time I'd started being groomed online, so I'm afraid that it led to me believing these behaviors were "normal" in a way. But, anyways... I've opened up to my parents and my psychiatrist about these "games" we used to play, and they reassured me I didn't assault her and that it sounded like innocent exploration, but my memories are so warped at this point, I feel evil. Then, I went to my sister and brought up the memories to her, and she laughed at me for being in so much distress over it. She said I didn't harm her and that we didn't even do anything bad. I know this, but I can't stop comparing my story to other people's stories that are worse... I still apologized profusely, and she said there wasn't anything to apologize for, but that she'd forgive me anyway, and she hugged me for a while. I told her that I'd never want to hurt her, that she was my best friend, and that's why these memories bothered me so much because she meant the world to me. She said she loved me and felt the same, and that the only people's opinions that mattered were hers and my parents, along with my psychiatrists. Which is true, but it's like these memories just have their claws in me. For a month or so, I'd been doing great. I could actually enjoy life, which was... amazing. The theme switched for me, and I wasn't really worrying about these memories anymore. In fact, when I'd look back on them, that's all they felt like... memories. But now they're all coming back, and I feel horrible. I'm always triggered by other peoples stories about similar things happening to them, which is strange, because a year ago, I didn't struggle with this at all, and these memories didn't bother me for years of my life. Everyone tells me I need to forgive that little girl and move on, but how? I feel like I deserve this... Ugh, I'd been doing so well. If I told my sister I was worrying about this again, she'd slap me😭 I'm sorry for the long post. I don't know if anyone has any advice, but I'd appreciate anything at this point. I don't even know if I deserve advice... It's weird to say that because I'd never say it to someone else, and I'd been doing so well... This post is such a mess, I'm sorry to anyone who reads it. I just feel really hopeless right now.

Good Morning everyone ☀️. I’ve been in ERP therapy with NOCD for 2+ years, and I’m sharing my journey for anyone that may feel alone or is considering therapy. I’m in my 30s, and I was diagnosed in 2022, after a talk therapist I was seeing suggested I talk to a psychiatrist to be screened for OCD. Truthfully, I suspected I had OCD for a long time, but I was “managing” it so I didn’t seek help. Then the pandemic hit, and my mental health hit rock bottom. I worked with one talk therapist (who wasn’t helpful), switched to a new one, then ultimately was diagnosed and referred to NOCD. My biggest theme that I struggled with for years was emotional contamination. I could not handle being around a family member, because I was scared their personality or energy would contaminate me, and I would turn in to that person. I avoided allowing them in my apartment, if I thought about them when I was in the bathroom or washing dishes, I felt dirty and had to do compulsions to be “safe.” Spoiler alert, your OCD doesn’t actually keep you safe, even though it feels like it. I also struggled with driving, perfectionism, just right OCD, and intrusive sexual thoughts about a different family member. So, I started weekly therapy sessions, and I struggled a lot during the first year. ERP is hard. You’re essentially re-wiring your brain to change your thought patterns. Confronting years of fears, while also navigating an abusive relationship, took all of the mental energy I had. Then time went on, and I made it through my first year of therapy. I felt a little better. Then, I started going to NOCD support groups. I started to practice self-compassion, I shared my story and heard others share their struggles and wins. I finally started to see, feel, and acknowledge my progress. By year 2, I finally felt stronger. Now, my sessions are down to once a month. I have my conqueror status. My exposures are a lot easier to work through because I did the hard work early on. It feels over simplified, to summarize my journey this way. I could probably talk for hours about ERP. But I want to emphasize how ERP saved my life. As I said, I was having a hard time in the beginning. But now, life is so much better. Taking the first step to reach out to NOCD led me to where I am now, and I am so grateful I chose myself by starting ERP. I can drive long distances on the freeway without panicking. I can drive at night, in the rain. My whole world has opened up because I’m not limited on where I can go. My relationship with the family member I avoided improved greatly. I am sad to say she passed away unexpectedly this summer. But I reclaimed all the time I had with her from my OCD. I can tolerate not being perfect, or doing things that aren’t “just right.” When I have a setback, I bounce back a lot quicker than I have before. I’ll have the most bizarre thoughts, but I can let them go a lot easier than before. I still have struggles. I still cry when I feel overwhelmed or stuck. But overall, my life is mine again. OCD doesn’t go away. But going from giving in to compulsions over and over again, and avoiding living out of fear—to having my life be mine again, is the best gift I gave myself. Do I wish the work was easier? Yes. Would I wish this disorder on anyone? No. But if you are considering therapy, I urge you to take that as a sign that you want to get better. And I promise that whatever your OCD stops you from doing now, you can take it back with a vengeance. If you have questions, I’m happy to share more if it will help you. If you want support, I’m here too.

Hi I kept seeing this app on repeat on TikTok over and over and I thought I give it a shot. I have never been diagnosed with OCD but I know that I have it. I’m a young adult and I found out the first time I had OCD was watching lelelons truth video? I was 14 at the time She had to resist sitting back down in a chair after her having sat down she started having a mental break down when she was told to resist. That’s when I knew. It started with myself going up and down a staircase twice buckling unbuckling my seat belt everytime I’m in the car ect I have always been super anti social but trying my best I can socialize but my mind wants to make it sexual with family and friends ughhhh I hate it because that’s not me when I graduated thoughts of hurting my loved ones corrupted my mind I broke down outside of church one time asking if this was really me or not i question if I’m a good enough friend or person in this world to begin with thinking everyone is judging me so so close how can I make this situation better did I do something wrong I struggle with depression as well not to bad but it’s there I come from a loving family but broken as well i believe in god and my OCD makes me go often he’s not real that stuff isn’t real no one is there to save you the list goes on. Anyway I struggle a lot and I really hope that this will help me because I feel extremely hopeless. Lucky for me I do have the ability to seek therapy and I am excited. The only person I ever tell my thoughts to is God no other human has heard so I’m really really hoping this helps me out if your reading this thank you it means a lot because this is my first time ever admitting all this it’s a lot to take in I know and I hope you are ok and that you have a great night and know that we got this

My therapist told me today that if I get intrusive thoughts of other people: friends/randoms/children/pets, to put them in the corner of the room. I can try that but I feel like I’ll still be focusing a lot on the intrusive thoughts during such a vulnerable time. It makes me feel like if I focus on intrusive thoughts, and I reach a point where I am feeling good physically, I’m scared I’ll associate those thoughts with feeling good or feel like I “got off” to them. ***TW*** Apart from that I have creative intrusive thoughts like imagining my bf isn’t a grown man which repulses me to even type. Or that he’s a family member. Those drives me absolutely insane. Those I don’t know how to handle. How would you handle this? How do y’all handle this?

Hi! I am young and undiagnosed, I'm gonna get an appointment set up to start that process. Right now though, I feel like this came almost out of nowhere. I've been diagnosed with GAD and emetophobia for many years, and I realized a couple years ago I had some symptoms similar to OCD and even briefly considered that I may have had POCD just before highschool. However, because of what I suspect to be scrupulosity OCD, I was so deeply afraid I was faking and didn't say anything else. But a few days ago it really hit me that OCD actually aligns with my experience like.. a bit too much? And since then I've been driven absolutely mad. I spend an hour or more a day anxiously researching and the intrusive thoughts have gotten so much worse because I just can't get out of my head. I feel like I have to constantly research to make 100% sure my symptoms actually line up because if I'm faking that would make me a bad person. It's a constant stream of thoughts telling me I'm a bad person. I freak out and just repeat "no, no, no" or "stop, stop, stop" or try and think of something else. This is very ramble-ish and vent-ish, I know. I'm just so afraid. Did anyone else's OCD come out of seemingly nowhere? Or maybe this is just my first bad flare-up and I spent so long thinking my behavior was normal I never thought about it till now?? I'm not sure. Talking to a doctor ASAP because I can't take being undiagnosed, it gives the anxiety too much ammo to call me a bad person with.

how are groinal responses supposed to feel. every time i get an intrusive thought or image or even see something in real life that could trigger me i do get groinal responses. the problem is is that sometimes i feel it directly in my groin or sometimes its like in my lower stomach like my stomach drops in a way? does this mean that im actually attracted to these things? i never would be attracted to these things just the thought of it is debilitating and stresses me out so much. i’ve struggled with groinal responses for nearly 6 months now and its very debilitating and i just want it to stop. i want to get help but i dont know how to get help im only 18 and im a student and these things really affect my life on a day to day basis. is there a way out of this? am i a bad person? please help

Every time I go to bed late and I’m falling asleep, I suddenly get an intrusive thought of a child’s face and my groinal area always responds to it. It’s such an uncomfortable experience. I am way too tired to try and freak out so I end up falling asleep. The next morning I’m always trying to figure out whether I had the groinal response first or after the thought. I start giving OCD power but it feels like If I let it go, then I’m in denial or whatever. I don’t want to ever do anything sexual with a child. I don’t even feel comfortable talking platonically with people who are 17, much less a child. My therapist says that I have a deep rooted fear that I’m this horrible person and that OCD loves to feed off of it. When you get a groinal response, it makes the thought that much more real. I never want these things to happen. I want to only be into adults. It’s so discomforting and stressful. Especially since I’m hyper checking how anxious I am, and if I find I didn’t really have much anxiety, then I’m like “well if I didn’t have anxiety, what does this mean?” And more questions occur til I end up in a rabbit hole

So I don't feel attraction to kids at all. But I do get like intrusive thoughts about people r@p!ng me like family, teacher, etc. I know this is a result of me being assaulted as a child continuously, but I wasn't sure.

I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/

hello, guys! since may of last year, i have been facing intrusive thoughts that have been punishments from hell in my life. i have been in therapy since september, and my therapist says she sees a lot of OCD in me. i have actually been suffering from this type of intrusive thinking, since 2021, involving children, and before i did the exposure without even knowing anything about OCD or related issues, because for me, they were intrusive thoughts and nothing more than that. the problem was that in may of last year, i think i actually had a trauma, and i started to feel groin sensations..i don't remember if i felt them before, i assume not. these feelings and this tightness in my chest is what drives me crazy about this! i read so much about POCD and pedophilic disorder, many of the things, i know..the ones i don't know, i try not to know, because my mind would not tolerate one more coincidence. i will not be a hypocrite, i know that what i'm going through sounds a lot like OCD (although i don't have a diagnosis), but i'm afraid it's not. most of my thoughts are in the third person, i think because of the traumas i've had, and that bothers me a lot, because it seems like a fantasy or something that i desire. i'd rather be burned to death than hurt anyone, especially children or teenagers who are easily influenced. i have my morals, my empiricism and i will never exchange that for this primitive "will" inside me, i don't want it! the fact is: a few months ago, i went to a barbecue, and there was a little baby and a little child, i played with them, they hugged me and had a lot of physical contact. i was careful with my hands and my body, but the problem was the groin sensations! i am a woman, so i was very afraid of being lubricated or that feeling being really pleasurable..i was always in agony, and at times i avoided contact. i went to the bathroom and saw that i had actually stayed, and it left me devastated. what i do now?! do i commit suicide?! i check myself into a hospital ?! i know that anxiety may have contributed to this factor, but i could never bear to live with this for the rest of my life. i have avoided contact with children ever since, even looking at them is uncomfortable for me.