Can't tell when my possible OCD started

Hi! I am young and undiagnosed, I'm gonna get an appointment set up to start that process. Right now though, I feel like this came almost out of nowhere. I've been diagnosed with GAD and emetophobia for many years, and I realized a couple years ago I had some symptoms similar to OCD and even briefly considered that I may have had POCD just before highschool. However, because of what I suspect to be scrupulosity OCD, I was so deeply afraid I was faking and didn't say anything else. But a few days ago it really hit me that OCD actually aligns with my experience like.. a bit too much? And since then I've been driven absolutely mad. I spend an hour or more a day anxiously researching and the intrusive thoughts have gotten so much worse because I just can't get out of my head. I feel like I have to constantly research to make 100% sure my symptoms actually line up because if I'm faking that would make me a bad person. It's a constant stream of thoughts telling me I'm a bad person. I freak out and just repeat "no, no, no" or "stop, stop, stop" or try and think of something else. This is very ramble-ish and vent-ish, I know. I'm just so afraid. Did anyone else's OCD come out of seemingly nowhere? Or maybe this is just my first bad flare-up and I spent so long thinking my behavior was normal I never thought about it till now?? I'm not sure. Talking to a doctor ASAP because I can't take being undiagnosed, it gives the anxiety too much ammo to call me a bad person with.

nae nae

Date posted: 33w

Hi, I just wanted to say I relate to this so much! I've had intrusive thoughts and dealt with "obsessions" in the past, but I'd never considered it being OCD until very recently. I'd always just assumed it was related to anxiety (as I'm also diagnosed with GAD). These symptoms spiked about 8-9 months ago, and it spiraled from there. It felt very sudden, and it's never been this debilitating for me, which is what led me to believe it might be OCD rather than anxiety. It led me to research and ruminate to try and "solve" things or disprove my thoughts for hours on end every day. But that only worsened things. Eventually, I learned that what I was doing could be a compulsion, and I began forcing myself to sit with the uncomfortable feelings instead of researching, reassurance seeking, confessing, ruminating, etc... Easier said than done, but it's helped me a lot. This community and content creators online who deal with OCD have helped me so much in getting to where I am now. I'm still struggling a bit, but I'm doing so much better than I was before, and I don't feel alone in this anymore. I'm also seeking an OCD diagnosis. I hope you're able to get diagnosed and the help you need to overcome this. It can be exhausting and isolating to deal with, especially when dealing with more "taboo" themes and intrusive thoughts. You're not alone in this! 🫂🤍

mightyspencer

Date posted: 33w

Thank you so much ♥️ Yeah haha I'm having the exact same experience. It's scary and makes me feel really alone even though I know I'm not

nae nae

Date posted: 32w

@mightyspencer That's how I felt, and I still feel like that sometimes, just because I'm barely beginning to deal with all of this. It's hard to believe when you're in the thick of it, but it really does get easier. Wishing you the best of luck! :)

sunsetshinee

Date posted: 25w

new here

Hi there, recently diagnosed with ocd. Now i do recognise some behaviors being a child that were associated with ocd but i could live with them and they never caused me harm. Ocd flared up out of nowhere due to my life being stressful 2 months ago and now i haven’t been the same since. Did it just appear out of nowhere for everyone else. Im so worried it wont get better and it will always be this bad. I constantly have existential thoughts and health w suicide ocd.

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 23w

how do i know if i have OCD?

so this all started not too long ago, for literally no reason at all. but one day i got a random intrusive thought about harming others and it freaked me out bad. since then i’ve been non stop focusing on it and im genuinely scared that i am, or gonna end up like those sick people that have documentaries about them. i’ve never had these types of thoughts before and after me and my mom looked a lot of stuff up we think i have OCD cuz a lot of the stuff it was saying was accurate to me. to anyone in here, does this sound like OCD to you? i’ve always been a nice loving person and these thoughts freak me out so bad and make me feel like i’m a bad gross person. it got to the point i don’t even like looking at myself anymore. i just wanna go back to normal man. another thing to add, when i would explain this to my mom even though i was telling the full truth on how crappy this made me feel it felt like i was lying almost? but i know i wasn’t deep down. i’m just scared that what if i act on something or get in my head too much you know?

Aldxma.steph

Date posted: 22w

Hello everyone I need some advice

I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis, but I will be asking my doctor tomorrow if I can get referred to a psychiatrist to get an official diagnosis. The way I came to the conclusion that what I’m dealing with is OCD is because a month ago I just started having the most horrible disturbing intrusive thoughts that go against all my values and beliefs and attacking the stuff/people I care about the most. Mind you, I have never had anything like this happen in my life. I feel that I have always been someone with a peaceful mind and one of the worst intrusive thoughts I can ever remember having before this happened, was “what happens if I cut my finger right now” while I was cutting fruit. That’s pretty much it. After this whole horrible intrusive thought spiral started happening I was so scared because I have never had such awful intrusive thoughts like this that were the complete opposite of me, it just quite literally started out of NOWHERE, and that’s what was so scary and terrifying. It was like my whole life got turned upside down because of this and I’ve been mainly isolating in my room, feeling so much anxiety and dread and guilt/shame. I get four of the same thoughts and one intrusive image repeating over and over again even if I would not try to think about them, and it caused me so much distress and anxiety that I would be so anxious and cry everyday just thinking how I could ever possibly think such horrible intrusive thoughts like that. It’s caused me insomnia which I’ve never dealt with before and I went three days in a row without being able to sleep no matter how hard I tried (even while taking melatonin). Other days I struggle so much to fall asleep due to the intrusive thoughts being much more present at nighttime, and even when taking melatonin that doesn’t do anything because of my mind being so active and having so much anxiety. Is this what they call an OCD flare up? After constantly looking up all the symptoms of ocd (the more and lesser known ones alike), I noticed there were some symptoms of it that I displayed in childhood when the ocd could’ve been more dormant or mild you could say (skin picking), because once again I have never had such horrible intrusive thoughts like this out of nowhere and constantly repeating in my mind that felt like they were out of my control. I noticed that these intrusive thoughts started on the second day of my menstruation when I was in a lot of pain and was feeling very emotional/stressed. One of the things I’ve heard a lot is that during the menstruation cycle is when ocd flares can happen more often due to the increase in hormones during that time, and I wonder if that’s what happened to me? I’m also overall such a big over thinker and have been for as long as I can remember. I also have had anxiety and depression since middle school as well. Any insight would be very much appreciated 😭

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Can't tell when my possible OCD started

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