My boyfriend used to be friends with this girl before he met me. He told me they were friends for about two months, and they sat next to each other in a class they shared. They had each otherâs numbers, but she never had social media. Iâd see them walking around together sometimes but never cared because I didnât even know who he was or anything. I did know who she was, though, because she was friends with my best friend and she was briefly in my Spanish class. I was very jealous of her because she was so naturally pretty.
Anyway, my boyfriend had liked me for a while until he finally approached me and we started talking. He stopped being friends with her because she âplayed with his feelingsâ and confused him. I guess she made it seem like she liked him or something, but then he heard from one of his friends that she was a lesbian, idk. He said he never saw her in that way to begin with and that he just wanted friends because he was new. He told me they never hung out outside of school. He said they planned to go eat somewhere by our school one time but never did. He also said she would ghost him.
Anyway, I never questioned her or anything like that for the first year of our relationship. I never felt insecure either, and I fully believed I was the only girl in the world to my boyfriend. He told me he had been cheated on in the past, and someone very close to him had been cheated on as well, so I never believed he could do that to me. I also know his mom would be very upsetâhe was raised around mostly women in a Hispanic household.
Some months ago, he sent me a screenshot of something on Instagram, and her account was in his suggestions, even though they had no mutuals. She had just created a social media account, which, as I said, she never had before. Thatâs the day I started overthinking. I stalked her a lot, and I was so incredibly jealousâstill am. I want to be her so badly.
I began questioning my boyfriend about her. Iâd ask him about their relationship and whether he liked her or found her attractive, and Iâd do it all the time. He always said heâd never liked her and that he found her very ugly. Some things he said were that she always had eye boogers, was performative, anorexic, and ugly. I already told him the anorexic comment was weird, and that was a while ago. I think he thought that if he overly insulted her, it would make me stop being stubborn and believe him, but that wasnât the case.
Anyway, a mutual friend my boyfriend and I used to have said he would give her snacks sometimes and would black out all the nutritional information since she had an ED. She also said he made a pros and cons list about her and that he liked the idea of her. This mutual friend lies a lot, though, apparently, but my boyfriend said the snack thing was true.
He also had another girl friend who I know posts Gracie sometimes, which makes me insecure because he sees her on that friendâs stories. Her name is Gracie, so Iâll call her that to avoid confusion. He went to a friendâs birthday party about three months ago. This is the same friend who posts Gracie sometimes, so I knew Gracie would be there. I didnât feel comfortable with my boyfriend going and being around her because I was so insecure. I told him to ask the girl friend if Gracie was going to be there.
At first, he made it sound like he texted her to ask and that she hadnât responded yet. Then the next day, he said he had called her in the morning to ask, but she hung up and said she was busy. He then called in the afternoon but didnât get an answer. The morning call wasnât even in his call log, though. I feel like he knew Gracie would be there and didnât want to ask, or maybe he did ask but didnât tell me because he wanted to go to the party and knew I wouldnât let him if she were there.
He ended up going to a different girlâs house than the one whose birthday it was (the girl he had called to ask if Gracie was going). The girl whose house he went to is named Nicole, whoâs best friends with Gracie, and he knew that. Nicole was hosting the birthday party for the girl friend. He told me he had no clue it was going to be at Nicoleâs house. He said he saw Gracie briefly, but that she was in Nicoleâs room all night. I saw some pictures where she was out in the living room. There was even one picture of her lying down with the girl whose birthday it was (my boyfriendâs friend), and my boyfriendâs jacket was hanging on a chair right next to her. He said he had just left it in the living room. He never took pictures showing all of his surroundings, but maybe he didnât want people to see he was taking pictures, idk. Iâm scared he actually was around her, though, but he swore he wasnât.
Anyway, I kept stalking her Instagram after that. Last week, she posted pictures of herself to âBeetlesâ by Aphex Twin. I saw that same song on my boyfriendâs Airbuds seven hours later. He had never listened to that song before, so it was weird that the same day she posted herself to it, he happened to listen to it. He said he saw it in an edit on TikTok. He went through his watch history but couldnât find the video, so then he said it mightâve been on YouTube or Instagram, but he couldnât remember.
That song isnât popular at all, though, and only has around 100 videos on TikTok and Instagram. I couldnât even find a video with that song on YouTube. He told me it was an original sound, so it wouldnât be under the sound on Instagram or TikTok. Idk, itâs just so weird to me.
He also switched between calling her Grace and Gracie. He told me âGraceâ was just a typo until he said âGraceâ on a call and I questioned him. Then he said Grace is her real name and that he doesnât call her that on purpose.
I also asked him one time if she has lip filler because she has amazing lips and I was jealous. He said, âNo, she just pouts a lot.â I asked how he knew that, and he said thatâs what he remembered from two years ago (the last time they were friends).
I also found her Spotify and stalked it, which I know I shouldnât have, but they both listen to some not-so-popular artists. She had a lot of Steely Dan songs on her playlists, and she also had the Twin Peaks theme song and a whole Twin Peaks playlist. My boyfriend had a Steely Dan song on one of his playlists along with the Twin Peaks theme song. Iâve felt so sick for the past few days because of their similarities in music.
A lot of this stuff is just what-ifs or theories. I think the only thing that is actually fishy is the whole âBeetlesâ thing. My boyfriend has offered to give me all of his socials, and heâs sent me some of his messages, but he could obviously just delete things. I always decline the socials because that feels toxic to me.
He always tells me he would never cheat on me because he knows how horrible it is and that he could never do that to me. He also always says he doesnât have a car, doesnât have a job, and is always at home, so how would he cheatâwhich is weird to me, idk.
Weâre long distance, by the way. We were in person for about six months and then long distance. Iâm 19 and he is 20, and heâs planning on moving here next month. I donât know what to do, but I feel so sick.
He also wonât give me reassurance anymore. He said heâs been doing research on ROCD and that reassurance is bad. He never cared before, so I thought it was weird that he cares now, but he said itâs because every time he gives reassurance, itâs not enough for me.
He also started following and listening to a new artist maybe a week ago, and he added one of her songs to his playlist. Gracie just made a playlist yesterday and added the same song. The singer isnât very popularâher name is Cece Natalieâand the song has 1,020,106 listens and around 800 uses on TikTok, so itâs not popular. He cried to me a few weeks ago saying heâs so tired of me bringing her up and being insecure over her because sheâs so irrelevant and he doesnât understand why I am like this. He sounded just really exhausted and sincere so I think this is all in my head but itâs so hard to tell sometimes.
