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An animal in my county tested positive for rabies in my county last night. I’ve been feeling so weird and all that since getting bit by a cat on the 6th I’m actually gonna end it all if I have it. I can’t do this anymore oh my god

does anyone else have this terrifying fear of being schizophrenic or a psychopath 😭 i know i am mentally stable yet i feel like im living a lie in a way. i don’t know how else to describe it and im scared im schizophrenic and making reality up?? if that makes sense.

Hey everyone, I haven't been on here in about 6 months because Ive been doing pretty well with my ocd. I still had flare ups but I managed them well. But now my health ocd is back and it feels like there's no hope. I can't be sure I don't have every single illness I'm afraid of, I can't stop checking my body for weird symptoms and sensations. I've been through this before but never this bad. My mind is spiraling 24/7 and I don't know how to calm down. Nothing helps. Most of the time I try to distract myself and do something but this time I can't. My brain won't shut off. It feels like Im living in a cage and it's slowly drowning. What helps you calm down quickly because I'm so tired and scared?

Hey, I haven't been on here in a while but recently Ive been having a major health ocd flare up and yesterday I noticed when I look at walls or something still like the sky, the ground I can sort of see like pixels or grit or static its hard to explain but I can't stop focusing on it now. Im scared that something bad happened but I think Ive seen this way my entire life I just never paid attention to it. Now Im very hyper focused on it and I'm really scared that Im gonna go blind. I can't distract myself from this at all

I’ve known for a while that my anxiety gets worse right before my period. I guess my OCD does too. I’ve been feeling more stuck or “running the hamster wheel” this week mostly because next week will be my period. It’s incredibly frustrating having that OCD/Anxiety plus the hormone changes. I’ve been feeling like spontaneously crying then I will feel like screaming then other times I feel so stuck and fearful with my OCD and anxiety. Usually on my period I sorta mellow out a bit, especially with health anxiety. I know that the symptoms I feel is just from my period and nothing else major so it’s not as scary. Is there any kind of trick that helps you guys when your symptoms get worse during that time of the month?

I'm 17, and Im really obsessed with the idea that my mum could get cancer and I feel like I have to pray that she doesn't and every time I walk past a picture of God I can't be ignorant I'll have to pray. My thought process just now: 'Ok, so you don't take an hour praying, tell God you'll be done within 5 minutes and then you'll have to keep your word' Please god, help my mum not to get cancer, and all the other things I pray for I end up repeating this phrase again and again I could finish within the 5 minutes but something tells me this is offending God so I have to take longer I am exhausted from repeating it again and again Then I say 'I will only repeat this 5 more times and then trust you God, honestly' I end up repeating it 6 times by accident. I feel so bad I beg god for mercy and then I touch the wall once I feel like that was a sign of mercy somehow, I touch the picture behind God and then I tell God to give me all of that bad karma and not my mum To solidify this I have to touch the wall twice I can't see a psychiatrist but I have this kind of thing in my head 24/7 especially at night and when I'm trying to revise I can literally only focus when I promise to God that I will otherwise my head is just spiralling with thoughts like this Am I crazy :( I feel like I am

Hi everyone I am knew to NOCD! I wanted to be surrounded my people who understand how debilitating OCD is and the feelings it gives you. My story is an adventure. I was diagnosed in 2 grade with what the doctors thought was trets and year later we discovered it was OCD. Been in every medication under the sun and nothing help. I did physically compulsions like pulling on my back, pushing on my eye, anything that would cause tension to my body to relief the feeling. I have had lots of permanent damage to my body because of this. I struggled and struggled. It got to a point where my OCD made me look like I was having a seizure (I was not) My parents and I had no to ERP and CBT existed untill things got really bad in my 10th grade of school. My OCD, anxiety, and depression was the worse it has been. We made the decision to go to Roger’s behavior center in Wisconsin. They wanted to send me to inpatient but we were able to convince them to let me attempt outpatient. I didn’t believe in ERP Or CBT and refused to do any of my exposures. One day something clicked and I gave it a try and it worked. AMAZED. I worked really hard, I was there for 3 long months but it was all worth it. They also helped me find the right medications that work with my body as well has getting me off of Klonopin. It’s been 3 years since then and I’m proud to say I’m still doing good and have not relapsed. It’s a struggle everyday but I remember all the things they taught me at Rogers. Once I left Roger’s I wanted to know more about OCD. And that’s when I learned about relationship OCD, NOCD, “pure”OCD, somatic OCD and all the other subtypes. When I found out about them realized that the thoughts I have are not really me that they are my OCD. My somatic, magical thinking and real events OCD Has been worse lately. I am open to suggestions or a questions! Keep fighting everybody🩵

hey:) My name is mai, i‘m 18 years old. I think I‘ve been struggling with OCD almost all my life - eventhough i‘ve only realized it lately, thanks to a friend that made me aware of the fact that the horrifying thoughts and impulses i sometimes experience, are not „just a little stress and insecurity“. When i was a little kid i had very long hair. People always commented on it, sometimes they said things that triggered an unproportional huge amount of anxiety in me. I Never wanted to cut my hair. Someday my sister and a friend told me that if i wasn‘t going to cut it soon, they’d come at night and do it for me when i sleep. I was always a sensible and fragile person that thinks too much and doesn‘t know where to put these thoughts. At that time i didn‘t realize how much these words and fears affected me, but unconsciously i started controlling if my hair was still there every 40-60 seconds. I could not sleep if my hair was not hanging over my right shoulder where i could see and feel it. I always wore it on the right, and checked it - constantly, until one day a doctor told me that my neck was suffering due to the weight and the tense position that my head was always in. Then i decided to end this fear and cut it, so that the pain and fears would stop, reminding myself that i could always regrow it. The fear disappeared, and for some years, in which i struggled with other disorders, the OCD symptoms seemed to be somewhere in the back of my mind. I just finished school, and now i‘m preparing for the TMS (a test in Germany that increases your chances of getting into med school). Since the structure and safety of going to school regularly is missing, and since i don‘t know if I’ll be accepted for one of the subjects i‘d like to study, i feel very much out of control. I feel helpless, at the mercy of strangers and i‘m so afraid of failing the expectations i have for myself. Since this phase of „being out of control and safety“ has started, i suddenly experienced a lot of different anxieties, some of them causing panic attacks on a regular basis. I obsess about my health, i find new symptoms and proofs I could be dead or very Sick in the next few days - every week. I‘ve been to my doctor so often i think he‘s really annoyed because of my ideas. Sometimes i also have psychological fears, like what if i‘m losing my mind.? What if i‘m having a psychosis? What if nothing is even real and everything is just an illusion? Thinking about life and existence frightens me a lot. I can‘t drink alcohol of caffeine anymore because i‘m convinced it will change my perception of reality in a way i couldn‘t handle. Some days i wake up and think that the colour of the socks i choose to wear will determine what kind of day This will become. I often worry that i bother people too much, that i‘m annoying and Just hopeless and that eventually people will realize how exhausting i am, and leave. It’s especially bad in romantic relationships, and it makes everything hard to enjoy. I have now chosen to work on myself, on my real fears - that lay beneath the things i think to fear. I want to educate myself on this disease and get my life back. I‘ll make a list of things that i used to love, and am now too afraid to do. I want my life back from my anxiety and OCD.

For the past week I’ve been throwing up or at least having the feelings of throwing up because of just anxiety and stress. I can’t even eat anything because I feel sick all the time! I’m not even hungry. I really don’t know what to do because I thought I was getting better but every time I eat I just feel sick and when that goes away something happens that makes me anxious or even stressed and I just feel it coming. I’ve never done or had this before but it’s really unpleasant. My mind is constantly racing with thoughts and images that I can’t seem to calm myself down so my body is rejecting food, even when I have no food in my body it’s rejecting whatever it can. The other day I ate one packet of nuts, that was it all day. Because I just feel so sick with all these thoughts

Today I once again have been trapped in the mental cycle of worrying i’m going to get sick, or something life changing will happen to my body / health that will affect my future. I helped a bird today, so now i’m worried i’ll get bird flu. I had a call with my GP confirming a have an infection in my uterus from IUD insertion (she’s not worried about it apparently) so now i’m worried i’ll be infertile because of it.

Before I was diagnosed with OCD I was certain I was loosing my mind. I convinced myself that I was schizoprenic or going slipping into pyschosis at any moment. It all started one day at work after having a few drinks the night before and chugging one of the most amazing tasting coffees of my life. I had my first panic attack. The best way I can describe it felt like my soul was leaving my body (I became really, really light headed). It was horrifying. This spiraled out of control with more and more panic attacks. I started having intrusive thoughts/what seemed like an intrusive urge to do ridiculous stuff. For example, I remember being in a spiritual development class one day and I had this intrusive urge/thought to smash all of the beautiful crystals. Something i'd never do obviously but the thought horrified me. Since, my OCD theme has jumped around a bit to so many ridiculous things. I had harm OCD for a while where I would see images in my head of stabbing someone or pouring boiling water on them. As ridiculous and silly as it sounds to an outsider, I can not even began to describe the grief and horror this created in my soul. I then had repetitive intrusive thoughts "schizophrenic" and "demon" over and over again gosh probably thousands of times a day. Again, certain I was crazy. I tried CBT which actually made it worse. I was terrified to speak to anyone about what was TRULY going on with me because I was certain i'd end up bakeracted and as a single parent I knew that couldn't happen. Plus I knew at heart I was not schizophrenic it just spiraled into this massive fear. It plagued my life every day for years until I FINALLY talked to another person that has OCD & send me an article about OCD where I began my research into leading to an eventual diagnosis. My compulsions were more mental acts like searching mental illness on Google for hours, avoiding triggers, and saying internal prayers or asking the universe to give me signs i'm not losing it in addition to nervous movements like fixing my hair or putting my hands near my face. I am still healing from OCD and the terror that its' caused in my past but i've learned to love myself and know that I am worth it (having mental health issues has always made me feel like it's my biggest flaw) and it's so beyond my control & despite my issues, i'm still pretty awesome! WE ARE ALL A LITTLE INSANE ANYHOW ARENT WE? Lol. Seriously, it's been an absolute game changer. I still have intrusive thoughts from time to time that create some anxiety but it's decreased so drastically. Most of the time I don't pay them any mind or it's tolerable. I am so beyond grateful for NOCD and understanding everything I can about OCD. My life will never be the same since that day but its still pretty damn good! I just want to add a couple other symptoms I experienced was dreaded fear I was going to start hallucinating at any moment. I'd question if I was really seeing/hearing things or if I was hallucinating, and constantly checking my mental state. Too happy? OMG I'm manic and that's going to cause pyshcosis. Too sad? Vice versa.. I hope this helps! Do the triggers, accept the uncertainly, accept your fear and get your life back.

I've been taking 50 mg of fluvoxamine for almost 3 weeks. The doctor said I need at least 200 mg for OCD, so I will gradually increase the dose. This is not my first time on SSRIs. I was on citalopram for almost 2 years because of a depressive episode, it worked well but I remember it made me feel tired all the time. That's why I'm scared to take a higher dose of fluvoxamine. Has anyone ever taken fluvoxamine? Can you tell me your experience with it? I'd really appreciate it.

TW: Discussion of receiving a real physical health diagnosis after worrying about it for years It's been a while since I was on this app. I was diagnosed back in 2020 (since one of my main themes is contamination, you can imagine that that was just PERFECT timing, insert eyeroll here) and I did some ERP way back then to try to start working on managing my symptoms. ERP didn't really seem to work for me back then, but maybe that's because we were going through a pandemic at the time. I've done a lot of other therapy since then that has been effective at treating some underlying trauma and other issues I was dealing with in my life, in addition to helping me figure out that a deep fear of death underlies all of my obsessions (and compulsions). I've still been symptomatic in terms of struggling with contamination and health concern obsessions (and others) for the past few years. Everything got shaken up recently, though, when I got diagnosed with thyroid cancer. It's super treatable, I have a family history, and I/my doctors have known I have thyroid issues for about a year now, but regardless, the diagnosis absolutely shocked me to my core. It felt like everything I'd worried about with my health for my whole life came true in that moment. It felt like that one phonecall from my doctor validated all of my fears in that moment. I know that my treatment plan is proven effective, but I'm left with the constant "What Ifs". I'm sure that most people that get diagnosed with cancer, if not all, struggle with these what ifs, but they feel so much more intensified for me right now because I feel like the thing I was worrying about for my whole life actually came true. TLDR: Does anyone have any tips for managing fears, obsessions, and compulsions when the worst really does happen? How do we help the fear-processing, non-logical parts of the brain cope with the idea that the worry about the thing and the thing itself were not connected? How can I come to believe that I didn't worry this into existence? How do I manage the what ifs (what if after treatment it's not actually gone? What if it comes back or spread somewhere else?) without doing silly compulsions to "make up for it"? I know that was a lot, so any tiny tidbits of advice would be much appreciated, especially if you've gone through similar things yourself (e.g., had health obsessions and then actually developed a health issue). ♡

So I decided to start my journey today. I’ve been going to therapy for a while now, but I feel like there’s been no improvement of my OCD. It’s become debilitating and controlling my life. I’ve delt with different forms of OCD but right now I’m really struggling with health OCD and protecting my kids constant horrible thoughts popping in my head and then doing exhausting rituals to protect us from those fears. Every time I watch a video or movie and something bad happens I spend days constantly worrying it’s going to happen to me or someone I love. I’m having a hard time enjoying life and I’m tired of it. I want to be present, I want the thoughts to stop, I want to actually live life again. I’m hoping on here I can find some of you who are going through the same thing because I feel so alone. Here’s to day one and hopefully a bright future I’m tired of crying.

People who weren’t diagnosed and/or didn’t even realize they had OCD until they were older. Are there any stories or memories you look back from when you were younger and now see the OCD gremlin laughing in the background? For me I just recalled the other day how starting in elementary/middle school, and lasting for years, that I refused to allow myself to fall asleep on my back because I was afraid of my tongue falling loose and choking on it while I slept. I even just recently learned how obsessive thoughts about death are common for people with OCD, and I can recall times from when I was even younger of just thinking and ruminating about the afterlife. Not that these are necessarily 100% OCD related but…

I'm sitting in a hospital right now having what they think is an OCD episode...worst I've ever had and I'm terrified. Like I hate hospitals and tests and waiting because that starts the worry cycle all over.

Hello everyone, It’s going to be a long shot but I’m in distress. I’ve had different themes since I was a child and my first rocd episode was with my first love was when I was 18 ( I’m now 33) when one of my friends asked me if I truly loved him. I couldn’t stop crying for months, it was the most terrifying experience. ROCD left me for a couple of years, I had somatic OCD, Health OCD and when I was 26 with my ex I experienced the second ROCD episode that was absolutely horrifying. I was driving back home when this thought popped in « do you really love him? » and it was the beginning of hell. One and a half year of 24 hours ruminating. I wasn’t myself anymore, I couldn’t function properly and he left me. I went backpacking in SEA and had fun, met a lot of guys and had also couple of one night stands. In 2018 I decided to settle in Indonesia and I was « ocd » free until I met my ex and we got into a relationship. After 6 months in the relationship and finally knowing learning about ROCD (didn’t know until 2018) I realized what I was suffering from. He cheated on me and left me, but the ROCD was pretty debilitating. In 2023, I met my now husband. We met in 2020. He’s the kindest, loving person I’ve ever met. The day he told me he loved me I freaked out because I was just enjoying the beginning of our relationship. I started SSRI’s (escitalopram) and therapy in 2021 during the pandemic and it helped me. But we had to continue increasing my dose because my OCD is so strong. 2022, we decide to get engaged, I go home for the holidays and I started watching atypical on Netflix. One of the main characters left her boyfriend because she fell in love with a girl and I was like « what if this happens to me » and I started questioning my sexuality and since that day I’m spiraling between ROCD and SOOCD. We got married last May, it was a wonderful wedding I didn’t have any distressing thoughts or any doubts. After the wedding I relapsed and I wondered if I rushed the decision to marry him making me doubt about our whole relationship since ROCD didn’t leave me since the beginning of our relationship. What if I married someone I didn’t love truly ? Why am I not feeling any sexual desire for him ? Am I not supposed to at least desire him a bit ! What if I’be been in denial forever and this is why I always doubted the feelings for my partners in my relationship because I actually don’t like men ? I’ve been scanning my whole life and I’m spiraling it doesn’t stop even on 20mg escitalopram and 50mg of fluvoxamine ! I can’t say I’m unhappy in my marriage but why am I always obsessing about everything ? Why am I feeling something is missing ? If it’s not him it’s going to be about my sexuality : I can’t even look at other girls now without being triggered !!!!!!! I’m so tired, I’ve spent the last 25 years of my life in my head ! When will this end ! I married my best friend, yet I’m still unsure if I really love him it’s just horrible and I feel so guilty ! I’m desperate Thank you for reading 😭

I am interested to know has anyone here decided not to have children because of the risk of severe OCD resulting in a terrible life? How has that experience been for you? I am going through this myself at the moment but of course my OCD makes me doubt every decision I ever make. One minute I want something, the next minute I don’t!

I felt a pop in my head and looked it up and see that it says it could be an aneurysm, it felt like a blood vessel popping. I was stressed and was crying and it happened. Thank God I don’t have any other symptoms and no headache but I’m so scared now. Anyone else have things like this? Maybe it was due to me stressing

I know this is probably far out but has anyone ever tried vitamin d to feel better? I am deficient at 13, just wondering if anyone has looked into it being a cause?