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Please someone leave any advice or similar stories. I had identified as bi and then had fears about my sexuality a few years ago, and decided on the term unlabeled to describe my sexuality to anyone who asked and it made me the most comfortable because i was confused about my romantic atraction and sexual attraction towards women vs men. Recently, seemingly triggered by pride month and people discussing comp het, while in a relationship with my boyfriend I have been dealing with fears of wondering if I'm really attracted to men at all or what attraction really feels like and being sexually aroused by explicit images of women I had seen by accident. I am worried that I am experiencing comp het or I'm in the wrong relationship or I'm going to hurt my boyfriend. I have also voiced all of this to him and he is there for me, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I have other anxieties about my relationship and worry if those are ocd related or not as well(such as worrying about limerence) but I'm just so terrified. I feel that just because I have ocd that doesn't mean I can have these experiences that other queer people actually have and it makes me worried that I coukd go years without ever knowing just for one day to know and my whole world to be flipped upside down. I'd rather die than for that to be my reality. Someone please leave advice or tips it's all so appreciated.

Does anyone else feel like they are walking on eggshells being super careful about every interaction with anyone but their partner? I feel like I have to monitor what I say/how I react if I ever have an interaction with someone of the opposite gender who isn’t my partner. For example, I end up feeling so guilty for finding another person of opposite gender funny? And my brain attacks me and says I should only find my partner the funniest. And when I’m not currently ruminating/ doing a compulsion I can literally FEEL it searching for something to latch onto and it’s so exhausting

Since my ocd started i feel really weird, like i’m faking my hole life and i’m not the person i know i am, it’s really strange and it’s making me feel like i’m gonna lose control cause i’m not being myself… i don’t know how to explain it but it feels like i’m constantly fighting and every single thing means i’m gonna snap and hurt someone i love

I’ll be on TikTok/instagram scrolling and suddenly there will be posts like “if he does this he is probably cheating”….”this is a huge red flag and you should leave”…. “No matter how loyal he seems there will always be another girl”….etc. these posts trigger me very badly and lead me to checking memories and my partners past mistakes and I panick when videos talk about stuff my partner or I have done… and the comments are even worse :( it’s always people sharing their stories and saying “not to trust him if he___ blah blah” and it sends me into a spiral of searching if my partner is bad. Are people on TikTok just saying things for attention and scaring people or is it all true?

Hey everyone, I have OCD and Trauma. I'm currently working through trauma with my NOCD therapist with prolonged exposure. We decided that working through my trauma first would help to navigate my OCD. I wanted to know if anyone is going through prolonged exposure or is on the other side of trauma. I can't find stories online with people who are on the other side of trauma and ocd at the same time. I can't picture myself there, I just would like to know if there's hope on the other side. I fear that I'll get to the other side and my OCD thoughts will be true/I'll change into a completely different person. Its super scary. I know I need to do it but I can't see myself there.

I grew up with a very Catholic mom who made me go to Sunday school when I was in elementary school (2nd-7th grade) every Sunday, during that I learned about sins and how having sex before marriage was a sin (for context my parents weren’t married and recently got married last year when I was 16) after learning about these sins I came to the conclusion that I myself was the product of a sin therefore I was a sin and Jesus hated me and I would go to hell which was really scary for someone who was always surrounded with religion as a kid I blamed everything that was wrong with me for being a sin and thought I deserved to feel worthless and sad I hated myself, now I don’t feel this way about religion but I still am very self conscious and have really low self esteem I feel like this was my first experience with that, ever since then I found any way to justify feeling disgusting worthless stupid ugly and every other negative feeling you can have on yourself :/

I’ve been recently mulling over past and present memories/feelings when it comes to my creative process and every time i start something new, i am an anxious spiraling mess: constantly checking the first ugly stage of a painting over and over again thinking i’ll eventually like what i see but i never do (that is until i start painting it again). i bet all artists deal with feeling like an imposter but with every new painting, i don’t trust myself it’ll be good, even though it takes time for a painting to reach the “good” level. i’m just curious to know if anyone else has OCD and is also a creative person, just too feel a little less alone in this :’)

Does anyone else ever experience serious OCD symptoms/spikes when they’re about to get their period or even worse during ovulation? I’ve noticed some of the worst bouts of anxiety and non stop racing intrusive thoughts during these times.

I need some help with this. Anyways when I watch PHUB sometimes I don’t remember the name of the video or the channel of the pHUB video and the next time I want to view that video I try to remember the gist of the title. While I was trying to get off I’m trying to find that video that I seen last time and it was an amateur couple and one of the title of the videos (paraphrasing it) suggested they are married and have a kid. So the video name was something along the lines as their kid was away at school they were at home alone. No clearly nothing illegal or suspicious So I search that up on PHUB and the word “kid” was in it and instantly PHUB shows this page where it’s “illegal” to look for anything in that context. But the thing is, I was NOT looking for that at all, not my intentions, not my desire, I was trying to find that video but didn’t realize that word “kid” could be interpreted the wrong way. Because that video title was indicating the married couple home alone while their daughter or son was at school and I typed their “kid away at school” and I got flagged which again I didn’t intend to do anything like that or look for that. I immediately backed out and felt very uncomfortable and stressed. No I’m extremely worried that police might get the wrong idea or the government watching over our internet search and they think I’m a pedo when I’m not at all. I don’t know who to talk to about this. Now I’m worried that something will happen to me and people will think I’m someone else when I’m not.

I don’t even know if I love my own boyfriend anymore because of my OCD, I want it all to stop…

I have a friend who im close with (we are both girls) and we're both in a relationship with boys. I've always had ROCD intrusive thoughts that made me feel as if I don't love my boyfriend but this time it's different. It started when my friend opened up abt her sex life or something to me and I for some reason started feeling really upset and uncomfortable. I didn't know why it honestly felt like jealousy and I wanted to hear her out but also I didn't want to continue listening. I then started having intrusive images of HER and HER BOYFRIEND doing stuff (how creepy I know) and it just made me so upset. I started feeling like it meant I was jealous that IM not in a relationship with her. I start getting groinal responses every time I see her pfp online and I got so panicked I read the lesbian masterdoc which made me MORE confused bc some of the stuff on it I related to. I don't even know if this is ocd or not bc low-key I do think she is extremely attractive and obviously imagining myself in a relationship with her makes me cringe so bad, but also imagining her in any other relationship also makes me feel jealousy? Idk I saw a TikTok with a lesbian girl explaining how to tell if you have romantic or platonic feelings for your female friend. She said to imagine her standing at the altar at her wedding and how it makes you feel. It felt awful like i felt soo uncomfortable at the thought of seeing her get married to her current bf. Then I imagined for myself if I was the one getting married to her, and it felt easier and better to imagine. Surely that means something?? I also felt rlly tall and manly in that marriage imaginations which is weird. I feel weird. I'm now worried I'll never get over her and that I will never love my boyfriend the same again. I'm worried I am a lesbian even though I truly do love him and i remember so vividly what it felt like to fall in love with him (it was awesome). I've been with him for 3 and a half years anf im losing sight of where I stand with him because I have dealt with horrific TOCD for the last year and now I think (hope) HOCD. I just need this to GO AWAY!!!

Ive been in treatment for OCD off and on for 2 or 3 years now. Ive been finding myself in a “flare up” after moving and changing jobs. My biggest thorn/theme has been harm, specifically suicide. Just from having gone through this before, I know the line between what’s ocd and what’s truly being suicidal can be blurry. I’ve had people tell me that the intrusive thoughts of death can be OCD or it can be depression. Forever I’ve operated with the belief it’s OCD with sprinkles of depression (who wouldn’t be dealing with this) I guess my worry is that if this is what being suicidal is, I need help, bad. I can tell myself it’s OCD all day, but being it’s the doubting disorder, I ask “what if I’m lying and want to die?” I want this certainty that I’m not truly suicidal and it’s just these unwanted thought. Is it even possible to have that certainty? How can do tell the difference between the two?

Hi there! I'm new to the NOCD community. Up until very recently, I thought I just had anxiety but hearing some of my friends talk about their OCD and realizing I related to a lot of things has made me really confused (I always thought OCD was limited to contamination OCD). The way my anxiety/OCD presents is largely through comparisons to other people and this is enhanced in relationships. I'm not sure why but if my partner/friend is doing X or Y that day I have to do that too and if I can't or don't I feel like shit about myself and I ruminate constantly about it. Another example would be if my partner/friend has X number of friends I have to have that exact number of friends (that have the same "characteristics" too). I've always been really ashamed of this because I know it's stupid and I feel like a jealous/envious/bad person so I've never really talked about it. I had a 3 year relationship and this constant comparing and trying to do the exact same things my partner was doing made me so miserable and depressed. I never wanted to talk about it to anyone because I felt like it was stupid. Another way my OCD/anxiety presents is I get obsessed over the process of things rather than the results. Like when I study first exams I have to revise X topics a day (and do so in a very specific way, not leaving any details out) and if I can't I ruminate/make myself feel bad. Or if I'm building a chair from IKEA for example I have to follow the exact instructions and if I don't but it still works I will always feel like there's something wrong with the chair. I'm really lost right now and I guess I would really appreciate any insight/resources that would help with this. I've been in therapy for anxiety but never really gotten diagnosed with OCD so I'm just confused like is that not something that your therapist should tell you??

My OCD has gotten better, at least as good as it can get, but my depression has been awful lately. I take 100mg of Zoloft, and I feel as though I’m going backwards. It’s helped my anxiety a ton, but it feels as if it’s made my depression worse. I spoke with my PCP, and she recommended adding 75mg of Wellbutrin. I’m picking it up today. I’m hoping this can help me. If not, I’ll switch everything and start taking Luvox. It’s so annoying trying to find the right meds when you’re already struggling. Anyone else taking Wellbutrin in combination with another med ?

Im not diagnosed, so my situation is more scary :( Today I was in art class, which is really scary to me since because I deal with sexual nasty thoughts, images and urges and we’re all in the same table and that makes us be really tight one to another, and I get really uncomfortable Everything started good, we’re only a few of us and everything was fine and i didn’t have much issue but then a female classmate sits next to me and we start talking, but then idk what came first but i had this thought of me touching her chest inaproppiatly before or after ( i don’t remember) i was talking to my classmate and she answered my question with a nervous tone and the answer was short and, first I didn’t overthink but then i tried asking her more questions and she answered me with the same tone and I got really anxious because why isn’t she answering me? Then she got really frustrated because she didn’t wanted to do her drawing and she was really frustrated all the class so maybe she was answering me weird because of it, and I don’t even know if her answers to me were 100% weird because I haven’t talked to her a lot but I felt like she was ignoring me and now I’m scared that I did do my thought and that I traumatized Then when I had to leave, I complemented her drawing and she just said “yes” so I’m overthinking right now What if it’s true and I traumatized her for life and then she’s gonna acuse me or something even though I don’t know if it’s true aaaaa help

Hey everybody. I was recommended this app by my psychiatrist, and I wanted to check it out. I’ve read a few posts, and I wanted to share my own. I’ve put a trigger warning on here just in case it messes with someone. Trigger warning for sickness and vomit I’ve experienced symptoms of OCD for as long as I can remember. I was a heavily anxious child and I would constantly get upset over worrying about something. It’s kinda funny to look back on now, as one of my silly little fears was showers at Home Depot. One of the more vivid memories of me experiencing OCD would be when I was about 2-3 years old. When I was around this age, I would get really upset if my parents started the car before I got the chance to buckle up. It messed with my little brain and I was afraid of something bad happening. As I got older, me worrying about random stuff got worse and worse. When I was about ten years old I caught a really bad stomach flu that caused me to vomit multiple times during the night. For some reason, it scared me so bad for years. I developed a full on phobia of getting sick to the point where I wouldn’t eat as much as I should out of fear I’d get really sick. As I grew into my teens, that fear slowly got better, but it never truly went away. When I was about 12 years old my OCD was at its peak. I became incredibly superstitious and obsessed with “bad luck” and I would constantly be afraid of something giving me bad luck. It took a little while, but that slowly faded into “counting” and “checking” OCD (I think that’s what it’s called) where I would have to count in my head as I did things such as washing my hands, writing, or literally just touching something. For example, if I was washing my hands, I would have to count to 20 four times in my head in order to be done washing my hands or something bad would happen. I would also constantly have to check my closet, under my bed, under or around certain surfaces. If I didn’t do that, I’d convinced of something really bad happening while I was asleep. That continued on for years, causing me such distress. It slowly started fading into what I have now, which is “contamination OCD”. All of this would make me lose sleep at night, make me feel terrible, and sometimes would even get in the way of my social life. I finally decided to get help. I finally went to a psychiatrist when I was 16, and I was diagnosed quickly after I described what all I had gone through. I was put on medication, which slowly started to help me. I am doing a lot better now, but this is still a big part of my life. I have an amazing family, amazing friends, and an amazing girlfriend to help support me through everything. I am very lucky to have them. I want you to know that it’s okay to get help if you think you have OCD. In fact, I highly recommend it if you can. Being put on medicine was one of the greatest things that’s happened to me. Thank you guys for reading and I hope you are all doing well with your own journey. Stay safe you guys!

I’ve noticed an overwhelming amount (in a good way!) of believers on this community and I had no idea I would come across so many faith filled sisters and brothers in Christ. I have followed some of you for hope and encouragement but if you come across my post and you’re a Christian I’d love to give each other a follow ❤️ maybe I can share encouragement everyday as well. Thank you guys for being brave and giving me the courage to express my faith. I’ve been really struggling with ERP as a Christian but I almost feel like all the times I’ve done mediation with the Lord that in an way that was an exposure because I was allowing the Lord to confront things with me. I think I’m struggling with not wanting scripture to be a “compulsion”. If we say things like “I may or may not” but then speak scripture over our lives. And I said like actually … no I am the head and not the tail. Hope this makes sense.

You guys are like my family so I just wanna share something positive!! I did my therapy, and visited a family member and their new place. I was gone for a total of 3 hours !!! (I’m agoraphobic and have panic disorder) And I did well!!! No panic attacks!! No OCD !! I’m panicking now that I’m home which is weird but I’m adjusting to it. It’s so weird that I’m able to do it but I’m so PROUD OF MYSELF!!! I used to be terrified to leave home and go anywhere without panicking

I’m deeply in love with my girlfriend who I’ve been with for almost 2 and a half years. Recently I remembered that during the early days of our relationship (first few months), I was still talking in a potentially flirtatious manner with other girls who I had been talking to while I was single. I never had ANY ill-intentions in this behaviour, however my mind has now convinced me that, because I was attracted to these girls I was talking to, I was cheating, and now must confess everything and that will make her breakup with me. I’ve already told her most of the substance of what happened as part of a compulsion, but it’s (obviously) come back more strong, and now I feel like I have to scan my brain for specifics that I’ve done, and that I don’t deserve her