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the NOCD Community

I was so tired today until I turned off the lights and got into bed. Everytime im in bed I start ruminating and panicking and it just doesn’t stop. Sometimes I won’t be able to calm down until it’s 4 am. I’m just so frustrated

Does anyone else get really anxious about safety seals/tamper seals. I get really stressed when my body wash/shampoo doesn’t have a seal because I fear someone has tampered with it, such as putting bodily fluids inside. Most shampoos, conditions, soaps don’t have this because soap is simply self cleaning lol. This is also a huge anxiety with lotions. Most times lotions don’t come with a safety seal. Does anyone else have this kind of OCD? I guess it would be classified as checking and contamination.

how to stop existential ocd? I developed dpdr (depersonalisation and derealisation) from this. my toughts are horrible I can't even explain them. I think no one can understand this, just people who also go trought this. everything I think about turns into a horrible existential crisis and I loose connection with my body I see myslef from 3rd position, everything goes blurry and U can't hear properly. I feel so disconnected from reality. sometimes I just feel like I don't have to do anything or I can do anything because I don't even exist, nothing is real. I literally saw a car coming my way amd i had a tought it doesn't matter I can go through the street because I'm not real, i dont exist, so i did that and then later I realised what happened and im really scared now of what I am capable to do. how do I stop this? I'm on meds but I don't think they work, I've also tried many different therapists but I don't feel comfortable with anyone and nothing seems to work

My mom wont let me go on medication, I don’t know what to do. I just want my mind to go quiet, everyone hates me and my boyfriend is also annoyed and made fun of my OCD. I just feel so alone

Hello, So I am On the waiting for list for ERP. I have looked into it , as I am nervous for It however I’ve heard that it’s quite difficult and can be mentally straining. I am quite stubborn in myself , as like I don’t want to change myself . As I am scared , worried, and I have been managing for a while now. Why do I need to change. However , I know it’s for the best. Basically I am asking. Has anyone done ERP - how did you feel. Also , how many sessions is there. As I’m worried if it s a maximum I feel like I’m being rushed.

Please help me… i get the most horrible sad feelings around my little girl… and my suicidal ocd goes crazy when im alone with her… I can’t do this… i can’t keep having horrible thoughts/feelings/urges especially suicidal ocd around my little girl!

I felt horrible earlier, I even cried out of anger, so I left my place to get some fresh air, plus I had already planned to run errands after I finished washing 3 loads! Unfortunately, I don’t have my own washer/dryer since I live in an apartment complex with a shared laundry room, which can be quite stressful sometimes. Not only because I need to find a convenient time to wash when the washers aren’t all being used, but also because I have to make sure no one touches my clothes. It’s happened before and it happened again today! And this time it was my toddlers clothes, which I’m even more sensitive about. When I went to get our clothes, I was hoping the dryer was still on, but I had to use the restroom and was waiting for my husband to change our toddlers diaper, so it took me about 2-3 minutes after my timer went off to walk down to the laundry room and when I walked in, this lady was literally picking up my toddlers clothes from the floor! I told her “That’s my clothes. What are you doing?!” And she stuttered, “Oh, oh, I’m sorry” and proceeded to put the clothes back and the dryer and I told her to stop and that I would do it. I then asked her “Why did you open my dryer?” And she said “I thought it was mine. I’m so sorry!” I took a deep breath and put everything in my laundry basket plus the other load and had to come back for the third one, which was still on. When I walked in my apartment, I told my husband and I started feeling more upset, so I teared up because I felt as if I washed everything for nothing! I told him “Now I have to do it all over again”… He said he could do it, but I told him I would do it again tomorrow at an earlier time. I then felt so stupid for being late a couple minutes and I cried once again. I usually never cry, when I get triggered. I just feel the anxiety, but today was BAD. I feel a headache coming now and I’m still anxious…. I keep thinking “Why did she even do that?” “Her hands were probably dirty” I didn’t accomplish anything today. 😔

Yesterday I tried to commit suicide because I started remembering things from my childhood that I did to another child and ask I kept thinking I remembered other instances of doing other things to them and I am really disgusted with myself and I don’t deserve to live. I’m scared to tell any even my therapist because of what she might think of me. I’ve also have intrusive thoughts about children, I know that I don’t find them attractive but my brain tells me that I do and I get all of these weird thoughts in my head all at once and I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if I actually did this to them or if I’m making it up because of my trauma and anxiety. I tried asking them if they remembered me doing anything uncomfortable when we were children and they said no and were getting annoyed and dismissive.

I feel like over a week ago I had about 4 really GOOD days in a row which I’ve never had before! I was able to concentrate a lot more I still had the thoughts but it was usually just the same one that popped up every now and again, no new ones and I really felt like this was the start of getting better. Well fast forward to now im on day 3 of really bad days!!! My awful intrusive thoughts are on loop again I can’t seem to concentrate, im constantly ruminating!!! I feel like I’m constantly creating new thoughts in my head that are awful!! I’ve started mindfulness again which I feel just have been what helped me have the good days because that’s the only thing I’ve stopped really. Anyone who else gone through this??????

I've been doing really well. But today my OCD has brought up a portion of my past where I had a sexual dream of me and my friend (my friend is a girl). Now my head is telling well you had that dream and thought maybe you liked her. I didn't like her and I knew that. But now all my head is telling me well you must like girls because this happened and I know my sexual orientation. Any advice would be great.

My parents think I’m a burden they I’m over reacting I have nothing I don’t want t to live anymore do u think suiside is the best option I don’t know why god is punishing me I can’t take it I don’t want to live anymore in this tourtire life

It'll be several months before I see a psychiatrist but lately i've been having what feels like mood swings that involve a lot of intense crying and dark, racing thoughts/disconnection from myself, but I keep snapping out of it for moments and suddenly everything feels okay. I was having this problem a couple weeks ago and it stopped after about a week and now it's starting to happen again. I'm just curious as to how you bipolar + OCD folks tend to feel or react to both disorders or how they might impact each other. I promise I won't read into it that much lol. I've been suspicious about being bipolar for over a year now. I've just never had these swings this consistently. (And no, I don't think it has to do with my period just yet. Last time this happened it didn't have anything to do with that either.)

I've lately been having anxiety flare ups, where I feel my temperature raise followed by extreme all or nothing thinking where I dwell on the thoughts of dying or getting sick. In these moments it feels like a haze is cast over me and everything feels like doom. I have no desire to harm myself and when I get this anxious I have thoughts themed around me no longer being here as well as my family or friends never expecting me to do that. It hurts me because I spend a lot of time stewing over the thoughts only for the anxiety to eventually come down and I have some clarity. But these thoughts can be very convincing that something is wrong because of my strong reaction to them.

Do you ever get hung up on the fact that at one point in time, you did not have detectable symptoms of ocd? I literally did not have contamination ocd until Covid. I used to lay on the ground with the dog, go out and come back home and lay on the couch in the same clothes, put my phone and keys on ground etc. Now I can’t even walk in my socks in house because it’s going to contaminate the couch when I put my feet up. Now I can’t sit on my couch unless I change my clothes, and now if I even have to touch my phone when my hand is “dirty,” I have to wash my hands, wipe my phone, and wash my hands again. This really sucks. I wish I can go back to a time where I wasn’t like this.

I am thinking about going on Prozac, my mom is against it and I am not really sure how to tell her I need it. My OCD has been affecting my daily life, it ruined me and my ability to stay positive and enjoy life, I don’t have motivation in life anymore and I don’t see a point in living, I would not harm myself because obviously I don’t want my loved ones to be sad, but I want to be able to enjoy life again, I want to not burden my family and my boyfriend anymore. All I talk about is my OCD, what are the pros of Prozac? Is it addictive? My mom is against it because she wants me to face OCD instead of running away from it by taking medication and depending on them, which I get. But I would only want to take them while I am in Therapy, I dont want to deal with OCD on a 24/7 basis until I am done with ERP, I just had my second ever therapy session yesterday.

Officially trying to get help for my OCD. Contamination OCD is mainly what I’m struggling with right now. It feels like my brain is going to explode from the thoughts on repeat. Just wanted to vent that in a safe space. Stay strong everyone.

Does anyone else make a list of things that they have been told during arguments, or offhandedly, that upset them or just pops up during rumination? The lists also usually include, for me anyway, things like "don't do x, don't do y, make sure not to say z, you always (something someone said)" and I look at them any time I have confrontation with the person or experience a stressor that includes the person. Sometimes just when I am obsessing about a conversation that I had, or might have. I just can't help it, I want to make sure I don't mess up. I want to do everything I can to not be what my brain decides is Bad.

The intrusive thoughts are taking over and I don’t know what to do I’m exhausted I’m tired of living like this I just want to be ok and not have give in to compulsions. I’m not able to breathe for a second because an intrusive thought pops up all the time I can’t control it I just want it all to stop the ocd, the intrusive thoughts, the anxiety , i can’t be myself and be happy when I’m being destroyed by this anxiety. I really thought I was getting better but I keep going backwards and I just want to be happy and be myself and live life to the fullest but how am I supposed to go about my day when the intrusive thoughts pop up every day. I don’t know what to do anymore I’ve tried distracting myself I tried journaling I tried stress gone vitamins, I can’t even sleep this is frustrating!!! It’s getting worse and nothing’s working

Here I am again after almost a year of thinking I was doing better but recently slumping back. Does anyone else constantly think of an event or mistake you made in the past and can’t let it go? I told my husband forever ago and he just wants me to let it go. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset. But to me it’s like it’s the worst thing imaginable and that I’ve ruined his trust in me and I keep feeling like I should bring it up and there’s things I’m not telling him even though I have literally told him everything. Please help.

What are your experiences with meds? Would you recommend them? Are some of the OCD meds meds that are usually prescribed for depressed patients too? If so, do they have any side effects or negative effects overall? Like make you tired or make you stop feeling things like I've heard some people say Would you say meds need to be taken only if the situation is very bad and super out of control?