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DROP SOME COPING MECHANISMS FOR ME TO TRY :3!!

I’m going through one of the worst OCD spells in months. It sucks when you were doing so well but it hit you like a freight train. Like you think it’s over but it just comes right back stronger and more overwhelming. I keep thinking that maybe I don’t have OCD and I’m just making excuses for myself. Like “Oh I’m having OCD because of my period” “Oh it’s because I’m stressed” “Oh it’s the weather”. It feels too convenient! Like there’s always something that can cause it to trigger. It makes me feel like I’m mentally unstable and just making excuses for myself. It’s like I’m in a infinite loop of constant guilt and anxiety. It’s so tiring. I wish I could be normal and happy 😞

I’m not sure what to label this under or if this is OCD. I just downloaded this app, have been diagnosed with OCD previously (no sun category) and just want some sort of help. I work as an auto tech in a small shop for the last 8 months (3 workers including myself). The boss and my superior are childhood friends (now in late 40s) and im 25, newly married and have a 18 month old. When they are stressed, especially my boss, I immediately jump to its something I did. So I seek out affirmation that it’s not and I feel it comes off annoying and like im not mature or just plain sensitive, which I know I am. I texted him last week apologizing for a mistake I made on a job and even called him about 3 hours later after not getting a reply because it was absolutely debilitating thinking that I’m going to get fired or how disappointed he was. He told me that it was ok and I needed to improve on not making mistakes as often and assured me he wasn’t thinking about firing me. Flash forward to this week he’s been stressed just about everyday with what seems like clients and a bigger job we have coming down the pipe and it’s driving me crazy that he’s not in the best mood and pretty snappy. I’m obsessing over the thought of being a disappointment, that I’m not going to be good enough to keep around and my questions and mistakes are what is aggravating him. Im afraid of losing my job and not being able to provide for my family or that my mistakes and frequent questions have put him in a weird position of not wanting to keep me around. It feels like I can’t breathe or think when the people around me are stressed and in a bad mood, and I can’t solve it for them. Thank you for reading this far, I feel alone and like I’m losing my mind. I bawl crying when I have moments alone in the gym or shower, I swallow it and smile to be there for my child and wife but my insides are inflating with fear and stress of performing to par at work and being enough for my boss and family. Has anyone experienced this, how do I get over this. Im on venlaxafine, propranolol and lamectal for anxiety and panic attacks. I’ve been like this in previous jobs, I just feel like this until everybody at work is happy, then I’m happy, until there’s another stressor for them and I’m right back in this boat. Thank you so much

No, not every behavior my bf does means he’s cheating. Just stop telling me that. Him having friends that are women does not mean he’s cheating. Me having male friends doesn’t mean I’m cheating. Please stop trying to make young girls compare their relationships to YOU (even though the influencer making these videos is SINgle most of the time). It’s damaging, and you enjoy the validation of making other women insecure. 🤦‍♀️

Anyone else having sleeping problems with their ocd? Today had to be the worst… last night I honestly was having an ocd episode about me having a fear of doing something horribly wrong. I honestly don’t even know wtf is going on. I have groinal response, and my brain feels Like it’s gonna explode. I have been struggling with this for like a year and I know I have Pocd. I get fears every time I see my little sister, or just any little girl. Yesterday I locked myself in my room. And right as I woke up right now, I keep nodding my head no to the thought. This crap is really bad.

Howdy, my names Donii. I have POCD and I frequently fear that I might harm any kids around me, so much so that I physically stay away from them sometimes. I obsess over these thoughts that go against my morals, they don't show up all the time but when they do, I can't stop thinking about it and then I get distressed and try to remove myself and do something to distract myself those thoughts. Like watching porn to try and replace the person I may be thinking about with someone random, or If the thoughts aren't too intense, I imagine the thought as a picture and burn it. I often fear that I am a pedophile even though those are the people I hate the most, just thinking about hurting kids and making them cry, makes me want to cry. I'm in therapy to help me with these thoughts and I've learned that I have these thoughts because of what happened to me as a child, I was exposed to a lot of sexual content as a kid and even explored things with other kids, I'm coming to terms with the fact that kids being curious about each other's bodies is normal although it shouldn't have happened at all. I always think about what happened back then and I think it's definitely linked to the way my OCD brain sees children, it's like I get reminded of what happened. Besides that, I have a whole nother thing about my grandma that I don't feel like getting into right now because this is already very long, but I hope that I am accepted here, I don't have a place to talk about these thoughts without feeling like a monster so I'm hoping this is where I can truly talk about it all.

The past two days, i dont know what it is, but none of my techniques have worked. Thought diffusion, understanding how ocd works, its like it doesnt register, like im not listening. I just feel really despaired, I keep automatically buying into my thoughts, and I feel like im in an inevitable path of doom.

anyone else have this? It’s like every sound I hear when I’m home alone i worry it’s in my head. I often feel like i see something out if the corner of my eye moving and it isn’t keep in mind my peripheral vision is messed up from astigmatism so it’s most likely that.

Me and my online boyfriend have been broken up for a week because our mental health wasn't going great and we need to focus on our health first. After countless of stress and overthinking of many doubts and waiting for him, I am having many many many unwanted thoughts of a past ex and I have many worries all at once. self harming (hitting my head) is usually what I do to punish or correct my mind for even thinking such thing like ex from 9th grade. But I feel like after hitting my head so much, it made it more worse? TikTok and other social stuff is not helping me rn after seeing "soul ties" of ex's, relationships or mercury retrograde and it worsens. It makes me anxiety more worse. I don't know what to do and I'm more terrified than ever. All I wanted to do is wait for my online bf and believe in the good possibilities and hopes between us especially hope that we would reconcile when we are ready. As you know I really love this online boy and would never cheat or hurt him. Idc if we are apart I will wait for him and still be there for him yk. But my thoughts are so messed up and it's bringing like a feeling or werid emotion :( like a rushy feeling of unwanted excitement I suppose. I'm literally stuck. I'm stuck with these thoughts and I don't know what to do.

Tomorrow is my birthday. My best friend and I are going to be front row for my 2nd favorite band of all time. I've been planning and hyping this up since October. I'm very excited, as I never do anything for my birthday besides having off of work. I've never gone out for my birthday before in adulthood because of covid and also lack of friends. This will be the first time. My best friend (who has their own best friend) and I have been extremely close for 6 years now, and have gone to a lot of concerts together. They started a new anxiety med last week and it is making them have an extremely bad episode of depression and anxiety right now, and they told me they don't know if they should go to the show tomorrow. They said they feel they can't drive in their current condition. I said I am willing to pick them up (even though I would rather not because they live an hour away), but I'm gonna be honest... I don't want them to come along. I don't want to go alone, either. I don't have anyone else at all who I can go with, and I can't tell my friend that I'd rather them not come if they're going to radiate horrible energy the entire night. I've been so excited for this for five months, and I've been doing fairly well lately overall- working a lot on art, feeling like me, and trying to recognize my bad thoughts better-- but now I'm just super worried. I feel like a terrible friend, like I'm being extremely selfish and hypocritical. I'm worried I'll make them feel worse. When I have an episode, I wouldn't want anyone to turn me away simply because of that fact. I always want as much support and comfort as humanly possible and am terrified of people being upset with me. When I'm feeling happy and fine, however, I don't want other people coming to me with their struggles. I don't know how to handle my own, let alone someone else's. This tends to come off as me being mean and insensitive. I deal with enough, and though I always try and help others, most of the time I just really don't want to. I'd rather not be reminded of what I struggle with myself. I'm afraid it'll rub off on me somehow because I don't like being reminded of my worst. I'm such a f^cking hypocrite and I don't know how to not be this way. My thoughts keep racing, telling me tomorrow's going to suck now, telling me how lonely I am because I only have one friend, telling me that this situation is going to trigger an episode of my own as well, that it's now suddenly so uncertain. I did give this friend an 'out'- telling them that if they are too afraid to tell me no, that I am giving them permission to bail with no hard feelings out of their best interest. This made me feel both so selfish and so selfless at the same time, because on one hand, I don't want to be around that bad potentially triggering energy, and on the other hand, I was giving up the only person I wanted or COULD to go to this concert with. I said that their decision won't ruin my birthday regardless, and that I can't be the one to tell them what to do. They said they ARE afraid of ruining my birthday but still want to go. We're talking right now and I admitted that I'm afraid of making them feel worse. I've never seen this person like this either, and it makes me scared of seeing them like this, and scared of how I'm going to handle this. I took a sedative as a precaution, because I felt this feeling would fester into something worse, and it cleared my mind up just the right amount for me to realize "hey, it's not my responsibility to make them feel better. It's my responsibility to enjoy my birthday!" Regardless, I AM going to this show and I AM going to have a good time. I just feel like I'm being a horrible, insensitive, selfish friend. This is the closest friend I've ever had and though others are telling me I have every right to be upset, I still feel like a piece of sh^t. I just hope I can get hyped up without going over the edge tomorrow. When I get too excited, I have a panic attack.

I have a big fear of dying and death. Is there anyone out there that isn’t afraid of this? If so, can you please give me your perspective on it?

does anyone have any tips on managing and controlling this? especially if you have said questionable things in the past or as a kid. A long 13 yr friendship of mine is ending and the ex friend really despises me.I can’t help but obsess and ruminate over what I could have possible done wrong even though they’re the one who said hateful things to me. I can’t help but wonder about all past friendships and ex friendships and whether it’s tied to me being a good/bad person. Does anyone have any advice on managing this? I try to reflect on different friendships and why it ended but still end up ruminating on my morality and self. Thank you ❤️

Has anyone overcame this theme? Or been thought this theme? I have a fear of schizo and now I’m just constantly scanning to see if I hear things. It’s so bad I constantly pay attention to every single noise and can hear everything now because of this theme. I’m constantly scanning and even my inner voice/ imagination has scared me because I think “what if this is schizo” I’m so scared of everything due to this theme

Does anyone else feel like they are getting worse? I started here a couple months ago doing ERP, but I feel like my OCD is getting way worse and am hardly able to function properly most days without panic or anxiety attacks …. I try response therapy, but it hasn’t worked for me. I’m not sure what to do going forward. Any suggestions?

I keep thinking my mom is going to die even though she’s safe and does not have anything wrong going on. The last phone call we had I had told her that I was on the phone with a person from 988. She sounded so worried about me and I don’t want that stress to be too much for her. It’s magical thinking, I know, but I’m terrified of losing any of my family.

Everyone keeps sending advice to me. I just honestly keep overlooking it it’s like it’s really nothing else than what everyone can give and I truly appreciate it. I am willing to work hard If I find the right strategy or develop enough willpower to use more general advice. Maybe right now I’m just writing down and journaling all my thoughts. Whatever it could be on here as I do prefer listeners, maybe there is advice out there that could really work for me that I don’t know about however, I have not seen much yet regarding that, or regarding something unique in terms of advice, but as of right now I don’t tend to be in the best mindset and my energy is so low it’s not even funny I can’t remember the last time I felt full of energy it must’ve been right before July 2020 the date that is negatively iconic with me. OCD phases shape me differently. It makes me do stupid shit sometimes or things that I wouldn’t have been doing if I was outside the phase and it really pisses me because I feel childish for doing things that I would’ve not normally done. An example would be posting drill music on Snapchat and making jokes about getting sturdy or something, which is not something I would usually focus on outside an OCD phase, as I am more focused on my goals and aspirations, while symptom-free from OCD. I may be faced up with a lot of consequences, including knowing that when the time comes when my body and brain eventually gets sick of OCD I will probably be desensitized to it so I will realize that this whole ordeal I was living a lie and because I am aware that now before the OCD phase has even ended which it’s still ongoing right now I want to eventually start working on managing it even better. I just can’t imagine feeling regret in the future after an OCD phase ends and looking back on when I had OCD and being like, why did I listen to it? Why did I listen to the OCD? Why did I do the compulsions? Why did I be so gullible? It’s horrible to live with this kind of regret, because you know that there was no reason to worry, feeling like a prisoner, and that you were just deceived. I’m already upset that I lost four years and that I never got to spend 2021, 2022 and 2023 and part of 2020 and 2024. It’s gonna hit me I know it will whenever I manually get rid of the OCD or not or if it gets rid of itself just by my body and getting sick of the old patterns that I’m going to feel a ton of regret for wasting time when I could’ve been using it for more resourceful means and adventure and fun and peace. i’m just so upset I think my symptoms are severe now because it’s telling me to wait till September to do a compulsion and it just sounds so fucking stupid because September is six months away and we don’t know what’s gonna happen. It doesn’t make sense it doesn’t make sense if you think about it but feel so real to me feels like something really bad is gonna happen if I don’t do this I’m starting to question is the power of the brain is really that amazing and just outstanding, sometimes human life doesn’t make sense it’s like set up with this kind of shit and evolution and science does a scary thing and mystery. it’s a vibe that’s hard to explain, but to be honest to sum it up these kind of mysteries feel scary. I always talked about fighting the matrix, and I try to fight it in terms of economics and even as like excelling in school with great grades, which is not always easy right now, and I just feel sick sometimes because of the OCD and a combination of the challenges of college I love school I do I always will but if I can’t heal, I can’t perform my best and then what am I supposed to do? In the blink of an eye from September 2019 to September 2020. My world changed, and I certainly didn’t feel the same in terms of how comfortable I was in my skin when it came to the presence of OCD. September 2019 I felt every adventure every moment peace freedom, happiness, hope fulfillment satisfaction, no OCD issues really and something to look forward to but then by September 2020 I felt fear, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, constant intrusive thoughts not being able to let them go, and I at that point was somewhat hopeful but in the end, as long as I do the compulsions, I was not getting better and unfortunately, I didn’t really know that enough, because I was too biased, and I was convinced that I had to do the compulsion in order to "fix my life." The best dreams I had when I was asleep whenever it was the moments of me in high school in September 2019 or just symptom-free from OCD overall or same familiar faces from high school when I was symptom-free from OCD we’re just magnificent I did not want to wake up and when I did wake up I was very mad and this only happened one time when I was angry that I woke up from the best dream ever, and then I had to come back to real life thus to the OCD nightmare that plagued my mind in the real world. I am a dedicated student in college and it’s upsetting me that it’s hard for me to excel math because I was doing this in high school last year so that I knew that I could prepare for college. I was only serious about academics last minute in high school and I should’ve been serious throughout all of high school but unfortunately, I knew I couldn’t change that and this kills me because this is my only life and that I can’t change my circumstances I feel like a fucking idiot. I’m just fucking angry . Now that I go to community college, I have a chance to excel and stay on high honors the best I can, but sometimes math isn’t always easy with college because there’s more complexity in contrast to high school I think. I’m not sure if the OCD is affecting my willpower with math but if it is then I know that I gotta do something about it. Otherwise it’s over for me and my future it’s really over and there’s no going around it it’s either I’m gonna do this or I’m fucked to be honest. I know this sounds very black or white polarized thinking but I want my kids to learn academic skills from me academic skills. I mastered when I’m 37 I’m 22 right now I’m not married I don’t have a girlfriend I don’t have kids but I’m saying is what I’m 37 I want all this to happen and I believe that I can make it happen. I’m disciplined enough and smart and skilled. if I could get this OCD off my head, maybe I could study and bebmore committed. I don’t know how the person would feel comfortable, studying and feeling motivated while having these thoughts in their head at the same time it’s almost like trying to multitask or juggle two different things at once. my life has been hell it’s really killing me everything just feels wrong and to be honest it may not even be real just being illusion. I know that it has to be but I’m just saying what I just said because I’m gonna tell the OCD that it’s an illusion obviously it’s not gonna listen to me. I’m better off saying maybe maybe not but right now I’m just so upset I don’t know what to do. I just feel like doing nothing right now. Just relax right now maybe later I’ll figure it out. I have to be thankful for the days when I was symptom-free from OCD and carry-on with knowing that it’s never too late to get better but the amount of power I have to put in I’m not too sure how I could do it yet, but hopefully one day I find out or at least create something to find out.

I’m finding myself frustrated, genuinely wanting advice / validation regarding the decisions I’ve made in a major life transition. I’m frustrated and feel as though I’ve made the wrong choice bc I have limited peace, limited support, and a job that i judge myself as dead end. Instead of operating from a place of confidence and peace that my decisions have been made, I find myself seeking reassurance that the decision I made was “right”. (When really at the core I am afraid I made the wrong decision - truly. I think had I taken a step back and give myself advice instead of seeking support from others, I would have advised differently.) yet here I am 6 months after a decision that I associate with an interpretation of a certain situation, having a difficult time getting out of the rumination stage. Part of me regrets sharing my fears and hardships with a couple close friends, bc those friends ultimately encouraged me to make this change. Now I am tempted to blame my current discomfort / distress on the consequences of this decision where I feel very stuck and regretful. I wonder had I just kept to myself and not only shared the negative, if I would have been free to make my own decision, free from the narrative I created. The current story - “I HAD to get out”. And yet evidence at the time pointed to peace and confident autonomy where I was. Now I second guess my interpretation of the situation I was in and wonder if I had just given more time in the transition if this move to a new/old city would have been easier. I’m trying not to get caught up in the story I’m telling myself bc that’s it - a story. However I know the meaning I’m putting on it is reflecting my decisions, my telling of the story, and even my interpretation of interactions with friends. Anticipation/fearing the worst doubt and criticism if I make a decision that doesn’t align with what I shared with someone: “if it was really as bad as you say then how can you want to go back there? Obviously it want that bad then” “if it wasn’t that bad then why do you avoid that person and the entire friend group?” I find myself disappointed in letting my fears get in the way of my life. And yet, part of my desires validation that my fears weren’t just anxiety, but justified. I’m desiring someone to shoot it to me straight, you know? “Hey you made a mistake and it’s all gonna be okay” or “hey you did the right thing and it’s just hard right now” But I don’t know how to move in truth when I don’t know what’s true. Sharing to be known. Frustrated. A bit frozen. Close to crying, as these thoughts usually bring about. - is there ever any relief ?

Hi all. I’m struggling with ROCD. My obsessions have taken different forms over the past year but I’m finding this current one really upsetting. I’m in lovely, stable and safe relationship which means a lot to me and I’m very fearful of losing. Recently my OCD has been telling me that I must want to be out of the relationship and ending it would be for the best as it’s the cause of all my anxieties. I’m worrying now what if it’s not OCD what if that’s how I feel? That’s not what I want! I love my partner very much and feel very happy with him but these doubts are causing me extreme doubt and anguish now :(

I’ve been diagnosed with ocd. I first started off with harm ocd.when I got over it, it started switching into new themes. Every week I’d have to deal with a new thought/fear. And now i feel like im stuck again! Im not sure what type of ocd im going through right now. But im scared of hallucinating. Im scared of hearing things that aren’t there. So that caused me to be hyper aware of every sound I hear. And I now focus on white noises so much ( like AC, fridge, water pipes, the tv when it’s far away etc.) and I start to question my sister: can you hear that ? Because I’m super scared the I’m hallucinating. But usually she’ll answer with yes she can hear it. But I’ve been struggling with something else too. I sleep with the AC on and I’ve been doing for years. But during the past month that caused me so much stress and anxiety. Because I feel like whenever the AC is on I hear other things (not people talk or words or specific things) just unclear sounds. And I’m not sure if that’s in my head or it’s actually there but because the AC sound loud I can’t recognize the other sounds im hearing. And I get so anxious when I try to sleep because everything is so quiet and it’s just me and the AC on. So I feel like everything is loud. And I don’t know if the unclear sounds are in my head or real. And yesterday when I tried to sleep a police car went by and the siren of it was loud too. I focused on the sound. And questioned if it’s real or not. Then I started hearing the siren non stop for 3 minutes probably. Even though I’m sure the police car went by. So I was scared and terrified that I was hallucinating. And now I’m just scared that what if I’m not hyper aware ocd. What if I’m schizophrenic. What if I’m going crazy. I’m so scared. And I’m worrying that this will happen again if I go to sleep tonight. Someone help me please and give me advice!

Anybody else have obsessive ruminations about their partner being a “moral” person? It doesn’t relate to God or a higher power but rather being obsessed about my partner not causing harm to others/ fighting for social good.