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the NOCD Community

How do I know I definitely have ocd I feel like I’m making it all up and using it as excuse to my boyfriend and that I’m a bad person towards him I don’t want to hurt him I want to share my thoughts with someone :(

Does anyone else get this almost “out of body” sensation where they feel almost drugged during and after a flare up? My brain feels stuffed and fuzzy. I don’t quite even know how to describe it! But it’s always after my OCD is triggered, and it can last for awhile.

I have contamination OCD which I’ve had since 2016. Does anyone have any steps or plans to start to overcome it that I could try? I’m on medication and have had long term therapy.

Why is reassurance a bad thing for OCD?

So after taking a break from this app for a little over a month I thought I'd make a decision to cut out bad habits that I feel I can't moderate or affect my dopamine. (gaming, TV etc). I did this cold turkey and it highlighted a compulsion that is never really considered, avoidance. I used to think the days were never long enough and how can I possibly do everything in a day. Now they're incredibly long and I find it hard to fill up the time. I joined a new gym and now go for runs. I've started reading which I find enjoyable but can only do it for so long until my brains screaming at me to do something else. I went over some work stuff and found out since the passing of my nan, my financial situation wasn't really kept on top of as ocd went full throttle. I lost thousands... Numerous panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. Stressed me beyond belief. Then there was a light at the end of the tunnel and thought I can get myself out of this ocd hole... And my car starts playing up and causing me to lose thousands more. I took it in to get worked on and they handed it back "fixed". It almost killed me a few days later. If I wasn't experienced enough to deal with the issue I could've died. I took it back and did my best to stay calm and didn't raise my voice. I wanted reassurance but I know its bad for ocd, but I think in this case it's acceptable because it's just reassuring me that my car would be fixed properly and I'd be able to eat and pay the bills. Car issue is almost resolved but omfg the stress over the last month was unbelievable. I got better after therapy without a doubt and I know I can get better again but this all brought it back. Once I got rid of daily distractions and looked at improving my life I didn't realise how much ocd and these habits kept me from looking at the huge hole I buried myself in. I made a deal to give into some compulsions whilst I sort this out as I'm struggling to fight on all fronts at the moment. It's too much. Once my finances are sorted, ocd is going to be a priority to work on again. One thing I learned was you cope with stress, and manage the stressors. I feel as if thats not clarified enough anywhere. Oh and one more thing, I watched a video regarding to me being depressed naturally because of the suicidal thoughts and it was interesting. Basically asked if I was depressed or just have a terrible life. I'm both, but it's because I have a terrible life at the moment. But that will change. Just wish it changed faster 😅 And I think a woman at my gym class has a crush on me so that's one good thing. Can't all be negative

So every-time I get intrusive thoughts It triggers automatic anxiety and then I feel so anxious. How do you guys just “sit with the feelings” the thoughts bring when it feels so uncomfortable and like something bad is about to happen?

I feel tired. I should really be focused on going to bed, but here I am. On top of ocd just feel like lately my head has been spinning faster than usual, yet I’m disassociating quite a bit more than usual too. I finally got a new job, so I’m sure my nerves, etc. have been up last week. And I volunteered to help my bf sister clean her house. She’s got a kiddo and a little one on the way, and her husband is out of town. Idk I feel like I’m over doing it mentally for myself, lots of socializing, but it’s good right? I just feel tired and tbh not myself. I just need to remember to rest and to take deep breaths. So, basically while I’ve been two hours away from home and am staying with his sister at her house. I’ve been triggered a bit. Last night a palmetto bug aka big arse looking cockroach was in the room with me inside a wrapper, crinkling away in the corner. That had my skin crawling, etc for hours. Today while cleaning there was more and I did a good job of accepting and getting past contamination and bugs, bugs is hard, especially anything that resembles a cockroach it’s like an alien to me. And it feels life threatening and all of the thoughts I have in a panicked state. It all sucks too bc I get a little nervous around children. I love them to death and I’m a child myself at heart but I just have so many inside my head compulsions and checking and I’ve touched my face idk how many times today for no reason, it was like a tic or something almost. I often felt like I was being perceived anytime I was in conversation, cuz I don’t get out much so I’m kinda introverted. I’m a great listener but small talk is not where I shine when it comes to me talking and I just judge myself and think of what the other person is thinking and it all happens so fast there’s barely even thought at all to any of it. There’s no real time to stop and breathe, hence the lingering feeling that my brain is just going way too fast. Anyways, idk why most things I type gotta be so freaking long, but anyways ocd sucks, overthinking and analyzing sucks, and it’s great when you can catch it but days like these where there’s hardly time nor boundaries nor my environment and routines it’s just chaos. Good news is I’m working the next five days after tm, but I’m gonna be exhausted by the end of the week going from cleaning for two days, and working 5, but aye gotta get that bread and help out. Just pray my brain doesn’t short circuit. Thanks for coming to my Tedd talk

Hi all, I’ve just increasing my Zoloft dosage to 150 mg, as my psychiatrist told me the dosage needs to be high to see results for OCD. Ever since increasing the dose, I’ve had intense physical anxiety throughout the day and my brain feels foggy. I can’t even go to class without trembling. I find myself overthinking and ruminating for entire days at a time, unable to get out of bed. I’m worried about these symptoms but also scared to try any other meds. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

I have real event OCD as well as scrupulous OCD A couple years ago I was hanging out with my friend and he had a girlfriend at the time. He kissed me and I didn’t stop him but I didn’t really want to do it I just have a fear of setting boundaries due to past trauma. In an effort to say no he was about to have sex with me and I said I didn’t want to have sex without a condom but he did anyways. I felt really gross and violated afterwards and I told some friends what happened they said it was SA but now I’m convinced that I actually wanted it the whole time and I’m putting the blame on him so I don’t have to cope with the idea that I homewrecked a relationship and now have convinced myself I have NPD. I hate this

Someone in my house is sick right now, probably with a cold or the flu. All I can think about is how I am going to get sick. We share a single kitchen and bathroom, so quarantine is not available in this situation. Every time they sneeze or cough I panic inside. It makes me not want to interact with any members of my family but then I get shamed for that. They shame me for wearing a mask and wiping down surfaces because it is rude to the sick person. I don’t know how to stop being so selfish. I can’t look at any items in the house without thinking about all the germs that must be on them. The air feels poison. I think my family must be right and my avoidance behaviors are selfish, but I don’t know what else to do. Even mentioning the illness makes me freak out. Imagining getting sick is terrifying, even a cold, because it means everything around me changing and canceling important plans and not getting to see my other friends and family and being isolated. On top of that it means that the germs have infected me and I hate that.

I have SO-OCD and I’ve been doing really well and making progress but I’m tired of the repetitive thoughts some are truthful and some aren’t I have more that aren’t or a truth that is being twisted around. Anybody have any good ways to stop the repetitive thoughts?

This is my first time posting here. At the beginning of this year, I started obsessing over an event that happened two years ago, which then led me to obsess over events from seven years ago. I'm certain those events happened, but now I'm unsure if my thoughts are intrusive or if I truly did something unforgivable. After reading someone's real event, I had a disturbing memory of doing something the exact same thing. It's the first time I've ever had this memory, and the problem is, I can't remember if it actually occurred. Every time I think about it, the details change, leaving me with no concrete answer. I've searched through all my pictures, messages, and memories, trying to pinpoint if and when it happened. Ultimately, I know I can't change the past, and even if it did happen, there's nothing I can do about it now, but it haunts me every day. If I did do this, I feel undeserving of anything good in this world. It's affecting my relationships and work, and I fear that if I accept it as false, it might resurface later, potentially ruining my life. I've always condemned this act, but maybe I myself did it as a teenager and either forgot or chose to forget.

My OCD gives me the need to confess things. It’s really hard and exhausting. How do you combat this, anyone else had this problem?

Trying to remember a night out that I was intoxicated but remembering it backwards and visualising it all, it’s driving me crazy and don’t know my brain feels blocked and about to bust

this has been happening for a couple of years now but it has been plaguing me even more lately but i find it SO HARD to stop feeling weird and overly conscious of myself around other people. like i cannot stop myself from thinking that everyone thinks im acting weird and being awkward. My brain keeps telling me that anytime i open my mouth i sound stupid and childish (another things I've been struggling w: actually feeling like an adult) and i feel like i can't be in public sometimes bc it's too overwhelming to interact with others. this doesn't happen to me w people who are close to me thankfully, but anytime im around anyone who is new in my life, such as the people at the place where i volunteer, i feel this overwhelming sensation of desperation to not come off as socially inept. The social anxiety is causing me to have all these chaotic and very useless thoughts that i know are not true. Like i highly doubt people are having negative thoughts about me and my behavior but my brain refuses to accept that and keeps whispering "they don't like you, you're annoying them, they don't want you here, they thought what you just said was stupid, etc" I wish i could go back to the times where i didn't feel all of these things so strongly!!! Like what went wrong!!! (I mean I can think of a few reasons but still. I thought getting older would mean I could shed some of my fears. Not that they would get worse) anyway im sure there are other ppl who can relate. If anyone has advice about how to deal w these feelings, I appreciate it <3

Hi all, I’m new here. For the past 5ish years of my life I have lived with what I called health anxiety but recently have been researching more into OCD and I’m wondering if that’s what I might actually suffer from. I have tried multiple different therapists and types of therapy (mostly CBT and talk) but nothing has helped me. Every day I think about death and it plagues most of my thoughts in any given scenario. Usually I think about it in terms of myself because I am terrified of dying young but slightly less often I obsess over losing my husband as well. For myself this usually manifests as thinking I have specific diseases (cancer, bone disease, heart conditions, brain tumors) that are undiagnosed and underlying. I am doing constant checks and googling of my symptoms and thinking about what will happen after I die and how it will affect my loved ones and everything around me. I also become very triggered when I hear about young people dying and whenever I hear something like that or see something on social media about death or disease I think it’s a sign from the universe about myself and I spiral. I am terrified of the doctor so I actually haven’t been in a very long time but I have been trying to talk myself into getting blood tests. I’m just terrified of hearing what I feel are going to be bad results. I try not to think about my thoughts because I also have thoughts that thinking this way will manifest bad health even if I don’t already have it so then I become in an obsessive loop of thinking and then thinking about not thinking and then thinking about thinking about not thinking … I don’t know if any of this makes sense and I don’t know what I can do at this point but I am just so so exhausted of living my life this way so here is my word vomit.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to stop ‘joy checking’? Like I feel the need to keep checking my emotional state, both in the moment and in the past, to make sure I am feeling happy and joyful. This is due to my fear of developing depression which will lead to suicide (or so my ocd tells me). It’s quite distressing. Any suggestions? Thanks so much!

I have the “i want to die thougt” everyday!!! Is this normal with suicidal ocd?? Anyone relate?

This is so bad I don’t know how I’m going to survive this life this new problem I have is taking its toll on me I feel like life isn’t the same now. No one cares no one understands. I started suddenly having pocd I’ve never had it before But I deliberately imagined something really disgusting about licking/sucking and it’s bad and I imagined it on purpose it wasn’t an intrusive thoguht but I don’t. Feel disgusted or anxious or anything I jsut feel nothing now I keep imagining it in hope I will get anxiety but I feel like I can make myself have shudders/anxiety on demand so I think it’s fake now and Soemone on here wrote as long as you feel disgusted that means it’s not a desire and your not a p but now I don’t know what I feel and i just want to live a normal life

I’m trying to figure out the best medicine for ocd/anxiety I’m currently taking 20mg of Prozac and have been taking it for awhile but no success. Can anyone tell me what they are taking and how it’s helped them