Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I feel like I wanna throw up I feel shivers It feels like you’re going to be sick I can’t sleep at all I stayed up all night because of this (not the first time) I physically feel sick

Sometimes when I ruminate or try to disprove my themes (I know I shouldn’t do it but sometimes it’s to overwhelming and I can’t help it I’ve been getting better with it though) it feels like I’m arguing with another person, like there’s another person living in my head and they try to disprove everything I do, it’s usually a different voice from my own but when it’s really fucking with me it’s my own voice and it’s irritating, it just feels like another person lives in my head like there a bad influence and tell me to do all this shit and it’s horrible, I know it’s ocd but it just feels like another person in my head who’s constantly against me and everything I believe and when I argue I get literally no where it pulls shit out of its ass and says the most absurd shit and it makes me feel horrible, just wanted to know if anyone else’s ocd feels like it comes in the form of another person that’s living in your head?

Does anyone else have the strong urge to do some sort of drugs sometimes when there ocd gets really bad or over nothing in general, like I’ll just be sitting doing nothing and my brain goes “you need to do cocaine right now or else” and I get a urge and it’s so like odd to me??? I’ve never done drugs in my life and never plan to because my father was a addict and I’ve seen what they’ve done to people so it scares me when I get these thoughts and then I get the urge to reach out to someone who can give me drugs and I play this whole scenario in my mind where I contact someone and I meet up with them and pay them for the drugs and then I take them and die and it’s like??? Idk I’ve had weird intrusive thoughts involving drugs before but this is like different if that makes sense, I also can’t stop focusing on how my body feels when this happens like it’ll feel like I was a previous addict and that I’m going through withdrawal and need something or else and it’s just so weird to me. Anyone else go through this?

Hi, I'm Ali. Nice to meet you. I just randomly today started searching about OCD because I related to so many of these experiences on this app (which I don't want to mention) and I wonder if I really have an OCD. For example, yesterday my brother gave me his iPad since he hasn't used it in a while and there's a scratch on it, and I'm really scared if I did or he did it because wouldn't that show I'm careless with it, and he's had it for so long, so I don't know if he scratched it or I have, and the buttons are so clicky, and I don't know if they are meant to be like that. I really want to tell my dad, but I don't know if I'm just seeking attention because I've already told him about other experiences in the past and he has sorted them (I love my dad).  But if I ask him that I have an OCD, I don't think he would believe me. Please guys, I need your advice. Thank you for reading this much. Have a good day.

When my intrusive thoughts get bad and I try my hardest to push them out it feels like I’m physically straining my head, like it legitimately hurts really bad and I feel like I get dizzy and can’t think and I can’t stop focusing and then my ocd causes me to think that there’s something wrong with my brain and that I need surgery or to be lobotomized or something crazy like that, does this happen to anyone else?

So I’m new to this platform and my ocd is getting extremely bad and out of control to the point where I can’t stop my mind and I just go to sleep crying night after night. I can’t get help because it’s super embarrassing to admit and my mom wouldn’t believe me and what if the doctors don’t believe me? What if nobody believes me and they think I’m stupid or crazy? How do I tell them I need help? I’m 14 years old and I’m scared and I don’t know what to do, I’m on this platform because I feel like somebody on here might know something and I urge you to please help a girl out

i am a christian. i am constantly terrified of offending God and going to hell. i love God so much but this so scary. i feel like a really bad person. i have to pray in specific ways at specific times of the day in a specific order and sometimes it feels like a chore. i feel so bad about this. the reason i became a christian in the first place was mostly out of fear. i feel so bad admitting all of this but i really need help. i wanna continue being a christian i think but it’s all so scary and stressful. praying has become a compulsion, i feel like a terrible person with every sin, and it’s so exhausting. also, i’m a lesbian and i’m so scared God will send me to hell for that. i can’t change my identity. i’ve tried, but i just can’t like boys. i’m so scared and sad and terrified and stressed. i have no clue what to do.

So I’m 15 and I first realized I had ocd when I was 13. It started with a bad dream I had that triggered intrusive thoughts. The theme of these thoughts were almost purely sexual. It started as Iocd, and that turned into compulsions of not letting family touch me at all and cleaning myself with alcohol and hydrogen peroxide to get rid of “family germs” because in my mind that meant I was a bad person if I so much as even touched an object that they touched, I just started getting over it recently and I’m feeling a lot better, but the other day another theme was triggered after I heard about this guy called “smartschoolboy” and he disgusts me so much. He’s disgusting. After I heard about him it started triggering intrusive thoughts. I was sobbing over the pocd thoughts the other day, and my brain won’t stop trying to convince me that I am one. No matter what. Today it was “why aren’t you crying about these intrusive thoughts like you were the other day, that must mean you think it’s okay to be one” and it just hurts so much to have these thoughts, I can’t live in peace and I was literally fine just a week or two ago, how do I get rid of this, I just want to be happy again (sorry not to sound dramatic I’m just really scared right now) I mean deep down I know I’m not one every time I hear about one I feel disgusted, I hate even thinking about the fact that those type of people exist, but whenever I tell myself that my brain gets to convince me otherwise. My thoughts have always (mostly) been sexually themed but these are the most disturbing ones I’ve had and I’m so scared right now, anything helps please 🙏🏻

Hey everyone so I’m a college student and since my sisters birthday is this weekend I decided to go home for 3 days but I just realized right now that I forgot to pack my Zoloft and since yesterday I had a cold and was taking a bunch of cold medication I felt weird about taking my meds so I didn’t take my meds yesterday. I’m freaking out right now because I’ve never gone through withdrawals or anything but unless I cut my stay short that’s 3 days I’m going without medication.has anyone ever been in a similar situation or is there anything helpful I could do or even just some words to calm me down would be so helpful thank you 🙏🙏

hi everyone I’ve been dealing with the loss of my sweet cat Oz and it’s really been weighing me down for the past two months since it happened. It was a very sudden death and it’s really made my whole world spin upside down and put me into a really bad place. Does anyone have similar experiences they’d like to share? I feel very alone right now and I know that this is apart of life so if you have anything you want to add I’d appreciate it. ♥️

I (15m)am a monster. I have done horrible things mistakes or not I don’t think people would ever forgive me. When I got into highschool when I was 14 I had a messed up mindset that being sexual was the way to go with everything and I was way to open to people who I just met. This led to me revealing personal things about myself that made others uncomfy and flirting with my friends all the time and making sexual jokes comments and just sexual flirting even when they said no (this was over text) Me thinking back on this makes me realize how uncomfy I made these people it’s sick I considered them my friends and ended up traumtizing them. One of them stopped talking to me because of my behavior they were scarred and they can’t even bring themselves to look at me and don’t even want me saying their name. Then there were these 2 guys who were older than me one was 16 one was 17. The 16 yr old was introduced to me by my online friend who is my best friend and I begged the 16 yr old for pics (idk how it started but after my friends ex randomly messaged me and sent me pictures and then blocked me right after I think I became addicted to chasing that high) the 16 yr old eventually sent me a pic but it was real and I stopped bugging him on it after that but i feel so bad I did that but my friend tells me not to feel bad cause the guy was weird but I still feel bad. Then the 17 yr old I did the same thing with him but went too far when I tried getting pics from him by using my best friends ass pics she sent me (she was 15) I don’t think I grasped how wrong this was but that’s not an excuse she eventually found it when I told her after she tried getting pics from the guy herself to try and help me and the guy got mad when she stopped talking to him cause we found it weird talking to him. I told her about how I sent the pics she said she felt sick but forgave me cause she thought I was gonna harm myself. Fast forward the guy told me after I had still been flirting with him that I s@d him (we never met in person ever) and I felt so guilty and apologized a lot and he got annoyed and told me that he had been kinda manipulative to me and kept me in a loop of mystery and I don’t talk to him anymore. But one of my other friends stopped talking to me after I was being by too emotionally taxing on him because I became very depressed and didn’t wanna life anymore and tried to stop lifing a few times. And now idk if I actually s@d someone if I did that to someone and now I think I’m a pdo and I think I s@d my baby cousins and my little brother and now I’m scared bf I can’t even get help because my parents don’t believe in therapy and even if I wanted to I’m scared because I don’t want to go to jail but I think I deserve it honestly why should a monster like me live

I was just sat downstairs watching a movie and I had a “what if u watch cp” and “what if you like thinking about kids in sexual ways” when I don’t at all want to think about that or watch that. And I thought what it would be like to think of a kid like that which made me incredibly anxious and feel repulsed. But my ocd will say “you were thinking what it would be like to think of kids like that because u were considering it” when I wasn’t at all Nothing would ever make me want to think about kids in a sexual way it’s completely repulsive. My ocd will try and say I like the images too and I like the thoughts! It’s really stressful. Does this sound familiar to anyone? I just need some support at the moment as I’m worrying it’s not OCD

I’m just looking for some advice regarding sexual orientation OCD… I have always been straight but in high school I would sometimes question if I was bisexual. I would always say that if I was, I wouldn’t ever date a woman just cuz I can’t see myself with one romantically, but in a sexual sense, maybe. (TMI: When I was way younger, I discovered lesbian 🌽 and I would usually watch that, I don’t anymore but I would prefer watching that mainly cuz of the moans, sorry this is tmi) but all in all, I was open to the thought of me being bisexual, if I ever turned out to be. After high school (for context: I’m a college junior), I never really thought about my sexuality that much until I got a boyfriend. I’ve been with him for almost two years, and sometimes I’ll get intrusive thoughts that I could like women. (Like for example: Chappell roan is a trigger for me just because I love her as an artist, and she’s pretty. I understand that it’s normal to think other women are attractive and if they have a nice body, and it doesn’t necessarily mean I like women, but sometimes I get scared.) I am not diagnosed with OCD, but I suspect I have it, especially ROCD, so I already get intrusive thoughts about my relationship, and now it’s targeting my sexuality, which worries me. It doesn’t worry me that my family wouldn’t support me and it doesn’t worry me that my boyfriend wouldn’t support me, it’s mainly the fact that if I were to be bisexual, I would feel so incredibly guilty. I know that bisexuality is liking both men and women, but a part of me would just feel guilt towards my boyfriend. Just guilt about how I also like women. And it’s not even like I’d break up with him to pursue women if I was bisexual, I just feel a sense of guilt. I guess I feel this way partially cuz I think he wouldn’t understand. He’s not homophobic, but I just don’t think he’d understand how I’d just suddenly be part gay. I know he’d support me, but in a way I feel like I’m cheating on him if I liked women. Idk how to describe it, but I just need advice because this intrusive thoughts really freak me out.

My problem is wrong coding, and perception. My subconscious mind get into wrong perception. I cannot calm my amygdala. Before this I can easily calm my mind. But I can not do it anymore. I do not know what to do. I am thinking of how to die everyday please help me

i’ve made posts in the past regarding the same struggles and i haven’t found any relief. school has started and im managing my grades well enough; but im miserable, suffocating on my thoughts day in and day out with no one to turn to and nothing to numb the pain. my ocd is been preventing me from sleeping and i cant stop the thoughts. i’ve been on medications and tried different types of therapies but i feel so stuck. time is just dragging me along for the ride but i cant stop thinking about everything bad that has ever happened to me. i cant stop the intrusive thoughts. my fingers are raw from the compulsions and i genuinely dont know what to do anymore. i have no one and nothing; does anyone have any advice to dig yourself out of quicksand? how to return to the person you used to be and leave all of the struggles behind? to even get over it all?

I can't deal with these thoughts anymore I'm so scared its all the time every day. It's gotten to the point where the anxiety is gone and I keep on getting thoughts that say maybe I will do it. I can't do this it's so fucking scary I don't know if I can handle it until my therapy appointment on Monday

Guys, anyone just let me know how to get rid of any unwanted sexual thoughts about other men . Im in a healthy and loving relationship. It makes me very uncomfortable when i get intrusive thoughts about anyone and any men . I love my boyfriend. I dont want to feel like this because it makes me feel so guilty. And like a bad person in general. Intrusive thoughts make me feel like i want to do it when i dont . I dont want to look at anyone else that way or find them attractive. It makes me feel like im not loving my boyfriend and also makes me feel like i will cheat on him

There's something weird about my groinals, it doesnt feel like a physicall response, I mean, I do have sensations, but that's not that part that worries me, it use to be, but what worries me most now is that feeling like I'm really enjoying what's going on, like I really don't care what my dick does (I do get a tingle, it's still not thw worst part) but my face gets all red and it feels like real desire

TRIGGER WARNING TALKS OF CANCER AND INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ARE TALKED ABOUT. Hey everyone just kinda wanted something to vent to. Unfortunately my mom got diagnosed with cancer again and my intrusive thoughts centered around her when my harm ocd was bad. I feel so guilty and ashamed for these thoughts I almost feel like it’s triggering to be around her since the recent relapse in the ocd cycle. I just want to hug her and be there for her and tell her everything is gonna be ok. I start therapy again tomorrow which is good but I just feel really bad. Thanks to anyone that reads.

Has anyone lost interest in something they loved before intrusive thoughts? I like romance books so much, escaping my world and thinking of someone's else's,reading romance stories... After my intrusive thoughts,my books became a trigger to them and I have stopped reading two months now,I tried to pick it up again but I'm not in the mood,I really miss it