Anyone else?

So many thoughts are coming into my head right now I don’t know how to think. I don’t even know how I am going to put this into words on here I just don’t know what to do . I am so scared of throwing up it’s so hard to explain . Everybody tells me “well no likes getting sick” but they don’t get it. It’s not just that, I am scared about getting any major illness and my mind keeps making me think that everything will give me food poisoning or a stomach bug if I am not careful or if I don’t check my temperature ten times in a row . I have to wash every produce throughly if I don’t I will do it again. And it sucks . Every time my stomach hurts I think that I will get sick. I barely eat and sleep because I am so scared . I am scared to sleep because I genuinely think that “anything can happen while I am asleep” so even if I take sleep medication my mind makes me stay awake out of fear. I just want to feel normal . I can never eat out without doing research of the place I am eating at and even after that it doesn’t help. I always feel worried that I will get sick on an important date just because that day is important like Halloween or an upcoming concert or hanging out with friends , so now I just mainly stay at home … but it hurts me because i want to live ( it's ironic because Liv is my name) so badly . my dream is to someday go on a Europe trip but i can hardly leave my state without thinking that something bad will happen to me . its getting unbearable at times . I wonder what it would feel like to not be completely burdened by anxiety and horribly disgusting thoughts every second of my life. And if you're wondering why I haven't had any medication prescribed to me is because I am also scared about taking any medication . I just feel helpless and it's my own fault . And I know I am holding myself back at times but I just don't know how to stop being scared and how to stop worrying about every aspect of my life . It's going to drive me insane .

I went to bed at 4am and had semi ok rest for two hours, I woke up anxious and awake like not tired. It’s 8am and I want to go to bed and I can’t Has this happened to anyone else? I hate this

I know this may seem silly, but I'm afraid to go to sleep, because I know that when I wake up I'll feel terribly anxious. It happens each morning. I feel awful from the moment I wake up until like 4 pm, and on the mean while, I can only be on freeze mode, scrolling on my phone, trying to make the ugly feeling go away. And by the time night time arrives, I feel a little more stable, but regret that I didn't more during the day other than suffering and procrastinating. Has anyone ever dealt with this? If so, do you do something to feel better?