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i saw videos on tiktok that people who would pray would end up being gay and i have been praying everyday that i don’t end up gay. I don’t want to be gay but i’m scared that i’m gonna end up changing my mind. What do i do?

I have this boyfriend who i’ve been with for over a year and I love him and I felt like I was ready so I lost my virginity to him and we’ve been having sex for a while. I’ve grown this extreme fear that God hates me and every time I do it, I’m disappointing him or like he no longer likes me because I’ve done it. I tried to pray and ask if I shouldn’t be doing it or if I should stop but I never really get any response or clear answers so I’ve been continuing to do it because I love my boyfriend and I want to be normal and feel normal but the feeling of God hating me seeps and every time we are getting together and every day throughout my life. I go to a Catholic school so every time we pray or God has brought up I feel deep guilt I feel like I’m not worthy of praying, or speaking to God anymore. We had reconciliation the other week, and I finally got up the courage to tell the priest that I lost my virginity and that I felt like God didn’t love me and was looking for some reassurance. the priest responded by saying he doesn’t think God is mad at me but he’s just disappointed in me. This actually made me feel a lot worse because it kind of confirmed the idea that God was disappointed or didn’t like me which to me is very scary and makes me feel sick. A lot of the time it feels like I’m being told I shouldn’t do it and I know I shouldn’t do it but I do it anyway, so I feel like I’m gonna go to hell. But at the same time I feel like if I didn’t have OCD, I wouldn’t be thinking those things and it wouldn’t matter so I feel like I really don’t know what to do.

I'm learning to accept God's love as unconditional. I want this love to inspire me to do good but am afraid that without guilt or fear as a motivation I will end up not caring. Is this a facet of my OCD that I should just ignore or is it a logical concern?

Fear and shame has been the foundation of my spiritual life. Having come to accept this I no longer see a point in even having one. I believe that there is a God, that he exists and has standards. I also believe that acknowledgement by Him has to be more than just believing one's own rhetoric. I don't love God, I don't know how, so what's the point of trying? But that said, I wouldn't be able to escape the knowledge that I made a choice to step away. So then what's the point of living? I'm a slave either way.

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

I put a trigger warning on this for people who have scrupulosity just in case. I have religious OCD and it is really hard to go through. It goes “f you Jesus” “sorry God I didn’t mean that I love you” “f the devil I love Jesus” “I hate the devil I love Jesus” “I love the devil” “no that’s not true I’m sorry God I didn’t mean that” “f you Satan” in my head all day. And then I’ll be listening to the radio and listening to KLove (which is a Christian radio station) and I’ll have what I call contradictory thoughts which is when one or many of my thoughts contradicts the truth of God. Because it will be that Jordan Feliz song and he’ll say “the king is alive” and my brain will say “no he isn’t” and it will send me into an annoyed spiral. “Yes He is I’m sorry Jesus I know you’re alive”. If anyone else goes through something similar to this please let me know so I can feel less alone.

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

I know ocd is great at this i just want to share my story, hope someone can help me here. At first i want to say i know faith isnt about feelings, that you always feel that God is here with you, but its been weeks now that ive been struggling to feel His presents. I choose to think He is here with me but its been hard now, sometimes something happens and i say look here was God, but through the day i dont feel that feeling what i used to feel before, idk it was really comforting and gave me confidence and i could be myself around people, now i struggle feeling this. And i dont know if the problem is that i want to experience that feeling again. I just know when i was there it wasnt everything pink and sparkle and i was levitating in the sky, no i still experienced hardships, but i was able to go through them with a clear mind,.soberly, and i actually learned things, but now i just feel im going around... and ive been questioning whats the problem, why i dont feel God presence. I tried to see if i feel unloveble, or if theres something im struggling to relate, i found that im hard on myself sometimes, but i do use that method to respond kindly when im so hard with myself, but i get angry and i started to hate that when i start to be kind. Anyone can help me about that? Its that normal, part of recovery, cause im feeling bad about myself that when i want to be kind to myself i hate that, i hate that tone, cause its like i want to make myself happy with fake posivity, even wheb i say "is all right, youre loved" i just cringe cause i get angry and like its not solving the problem... so am o have to accept i will react to that now with anger? It even got to a point where i questioned do i really believe in God, cause i dont feel like it... so i think this relating can be the problem but idk how to change that, i even feel bad about feeling anger when i try to be kind with myself. Its not that i blame myself, its more that i feel like im avoiding learning to be better with this fake positivity, cause what i experienced in my life, the people who used this "its okay everyone has bad habits, we are humans" it used as an apology for their actions, like and avoidance, maybe they felt bad about it, but i didnt see work on trying to change that bad to a good thing, it was just moving on. So now when i hear "God still loves me" it triggers this in me, and i feel like i do the same and im not trying to learn, i just use fake positivity to feel better about myself. Idk if this is why the anger comes up but this is the story i have. I should work on being more kind to myself but what to do with the resistance and the feeling that i just use fake positivity to get out of shame and realizing the problem.

Since im working in a christian band(as a backstage helper and now am also managing the social media platforms of that band) i noticed that since than i became really hard on myself on the things i can do and not. I have that "in that position i shouldnt do certain things, cause i have responsibility, i dont want to ruin the name of that band" and this gave me so much pressure. I want to work as a christian song writer, i would like to write non christian songs too, and this is where the problem begins. Now i have this "only God" mentality, that for us christians everything should be about God, some worldly song are bad cause its against God, love songs are bad cause its lust and this is just about songs, but ive fallen into this rabbit hole that everything that its not about God its against him. Im so afraid that in my position as christian i will show a bad picture and thats a big pressure. So i will share what happened. With my friends we have fun by writing worldly songs, like parodies, we making fun of what todays worldy music is about (not every just some rap, pop music), how the songs doesnt have any value, its about money, how much money i have, girls, evers girl wants us for the money, i have luxury cars, i live the best life, and from all of this suddenly it turns to my heart is cold, nobody loves me, im alone, and making fun of this sometimes helps me to see behind all this fake happiness that this lifestyle will give, that i have money i have girls im so cool, im the king but deep down im suffering... so it helps me realizing this, and again we dont do that as we value this or we live like that, its a parody we show eachother how stupid these style of music is and its sad that the world likes this, but again not all of them cause since then i met non christian people who thinks the same about those songs. So this also made me feel sinful that we write these songs and we shouldnt do this. Yesterday i wrote a lyrics that was a little bit different than the other ones, it wasnt about money and how cool i am, it was about love, breakup and i didnt wrote that from my heart cause i dont have those experience and i was focusing on making it like these non christian breakup songs, and it became actually good. Today just randomly i thought about i try to send it to someone cause it could be a good song, and also i would feel good if something i did wil become big. And here is the problem lies, i feel like this is egoistic and agaist God cause i did it cause i want this to be about me, that something i did becomes big and famous... I sended the lyrics to someone and i want expect it but imediatelly got a respons and they liked the lyrics and they will make a song with that, so do you think i was happy about it? Oh no... suddenly i got hit by shame and a big anxiety that what i did was not right as a christian. I made a non christian song thats against God cause its about love and breakup which in my mind is lust and I made that relevant... and a huge fear and guilt hitted me and since then im afraid i did something wrong, i just acted from my ego, for my good sake, it wasnt about God and im dissapointed about myself. I try to see it as this song isnt that bad its not about sin, sex and drugs, its just about breakup, but my mind says i just try to make it like sin i good... also the person i sended has sinful wordly songs too, but he has many romantic, more about love songs, but the thing that he has sinful music makes me feel so bad and dissapointed about myself. I contributed to sin... its bad cause here noone can help me, the first thing i got from my family was "then why you did it, you shouldve thought about that". And it made me fear more cause dont get the support i need. So i try to find the support here...

Here I am once again. I found a small moveable lump under my chin so I ended up going to the ER because i couldn’t wait to get in to a ENT. The Dr just felt it and said it’s a gland. I told her it doesn’t feel like the one on the other side. She did a CBC and said she isn’t worried about it. I can’t get it out of my head that she’s wrong. I have been looking at a Prayer request that went out from a well known radio host and read all the comments of people asking for Prayers due to them or loved ones having cancer. All I want to do is sleep, as soon as I wake up I get the surge of anxiety and panic. I fear death and worry IF there is no afterlife and this makes things 💯 worse. I’m tired

Have any of you gotten intrusive thoughts while reading the Bible, or a Church? Have any of you even gotten to the point where you avoided the Bible and/or Church?

How does scrupulosity or religious ocd affect you? And how do you cope with it?

I am in a bad flare up of harm OCD, Scrupulosity OCD and meta OCD. When I am in a flare up, I want to just leave my house, whether it's with friends or family or even going to visit my family up in Canada. Is this avoiding or just want to live life?

I was raised Mormon and was very unhappy. I'm 17 and believe in God etc. but I don't want to be affiliated with a religion. And I feel like there's something wrong with that. I need advice.

Advice needed 8 years ago I had the worst experience ever with intrusive images. They were flashing like crazy. They felt immersive. They felt real. My first worry was “what if these are from god” and I found that other people experience that I proved this wrong… however it’s resurfaced Now it’s “your images look weird… nobody else’s images look like this” So I check my memory But god, it’s difficult to know what’s accurate and what’s not How do I prove it’s not supernatural? Not from god? Not from something else? Not something more than OcD? I’m afraid there’s a message - something telling me to do something bad I just want my old head back and not being in this space Please help

What do you do when you questioned something about God or thought something bad about Him and now fear that He will never forgive you, especially since you still have doubts and questions about Him?

Is anyone else on here who is a Christian, struggling with the back and forth of letting the thoughts pass, but also feeling the constant NEED to fight them because were supposed to “take our thoughts captive” and I don’t want to feel like I’m accepting the thoughts and feelings as truth. Sometimes what people advise to do in the church can seem Contradictory to the practices of ERP I feel like it’s a vicious cycle and trap for my mind of how to actually healthily cope with all of this crap. Like I know there’s a healthy balance and combination and validity in the fact that just not fighting it so hard doesn’t mean your accepting it as truth. Like I can think logically about it but then still feel stuck like it’s impossible and I don’t know which way is the right way.

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure if just being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lost this little bit of insight I have. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.