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    m
    mrselfdestruct1994
    Date posted
    1y

    Delusional intrusive thoughts

    Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.

    • "Pure" OCD
    • Existential OCD
    • Health Concern OCD

    You

    a
    amc1234amc1234
    User type
    OCD Conqueror
    Date posted
    1y

    I went through this to the point I thought I was losing the insight I had and going to have to go away to a mental hospital for losing my mind completely (which I didn’t end up doing ) but OCD had convinced me so badly that I “believed” the thoughts but my anxiety was so high that things just felt very real at the time but it usually subsides and once it does my insight becomes better and I can see OCD is just a tricky disorder.

    m
    mrselfdestruct1994mrselfdestru...
    Date posted
    1y

    Did you have the same kind of scary thoughts? Or at least consistent delusional thoughts?

    w2
    worrier 24worrier 24
    Date posted
    1y

    I’ve had this I thought the other day what if those people are demons. I also saw a post once that said intrusive thought are from demons and it scared me to deaf! I went through this thing where I can to research to find it if they’re real or not. I eventually accepted uncertainty. I did pray to god a lot and eventually got better I do believe but what worried me is that if I pray and still get the bad thoughts does that mean it’s my fault and the thoughts are mine cus yesterday I nearly threw up cus I was that sick with anxiety. I wish I’d never had intrusive thoughts or ocd it’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I’ve always had a fear of developing more than just ocd is scares me a lot cus I don’t went to lose my mind.

    a
    amc1234amc1234
    User type
    OCD Conqueror
    Date posted
    1y

    Some of my main themes are harming others and the fear of developing schizophrenia but I am a believer in Christ so I have had many many times where I thought it might be demonic so it would switch from schizophrenia to maybe it’s a demon.. one of my compulsions was to look back in my past to see where I was delusional at times in my life (which ocd just exaggerates) to see if I had signs of schizophrenia. Or checking to see if I was “seeing” things out of the corner of my eye. I don’t know if it’s demonic or not- I chose to believe thats not my fight if it is so all I can do is live with the uncertainty and do what I need to do (ERP) to tackle the mental disorder. I had one random thought - there was a cone in the road and had a thought what if someone left that cone for me to send me a message.. the brain/ocd can come up with some wacky thoughts to just “prove” it must be real.

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    1 in 40 people experience OCD, yet it's commonly misunderstood. Therapy members and OCD Conquerors in our community are here to provide support and understanding throughout your journey.

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