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Does anyone have any tips on how to move on from intrusive thoughts when you’re constantly afraid that if you ignore them God will be mad at you?

I was going through my old account (I had when I was 12-13) I noticed I was following this little kid that was like trying to flex, and my brain keeps saying weird things, I feel so uncomfortable rn, I keep yelling at it to shut up, pls help guys

This is extremely hard for me to say I have danced around it in previous posts but I simply cant hold it in anymore. The guilt that I feel for thinking these thoughts is immesurable and is driving me to want to hurt myself. I'm gonna start from the very beginning it all started when I was put on Fluvoxamine back then I had the bad habit of looking every medication that I was on up and with that I found out that a student with another student had brought a weapon to school and hurt many people with it. (I can't even write the word but I'm sure you know what the thing was) The intrusive thoughts didn't start then for some reason but later when at my school we had a threat of someone who was wanting to do the same thing. But then one morning I got the thought of what if I do that. And then it got worse I would get the thought every day. And then summer came by and I thought I would be fine but it came back when I went to school again this year it got so bad that I had to drop out of school. But for some reason I am still getting the intrusive thoughts and they are even more horrible now with images of me doing it, I get horrible urges, and my mind tells me that I want to do something this terrible. I want people to understand when I say this I don't want to do anything to hurt anyone and never have. I have 0 history of violence to anyone and have been in several situations like that where there was a threat and have felt the fear that comes along with that. I don't understand why these thoughts are there. I feel like I need to put myself into a mental hospital. I never want to hurt anyone and never will.

I can't do this anymore I feel fucking insane my mind keeps telling me I want to k word people and if feels like my mind is making fucking plans. I'm diagnosed with ocd but I don't even know if it's ocd what if I'm just a terrible fucking person that actually wants to do this. My mind is literally telling me to go buy a weapon and hurt people like I get fucking urges. I can't keep food down and have not for the last few days I feel like I need to go to a mental hospital but I don't want to burden anyone in my family. Like my mind tells me specifically I want to do this but I don't want to but recently ive been having the thought of what if I did do it but I don't want to. I just want it to stop I'm a good person I don't want to hurt anyone at all. But what if one day I actually do want to do something. I can't do this anymore.

I feel like im loosing my mind. I feel like i experience derealization or what. I feel confused like very very confused. I cant even think normally. Im just tired. I feel like im loosing myself. Im scared that everyone tells me that i have OCD, but what if this is all true? I dont think and im scared that other so-ocd sufferers dont feel this way as i do. I feel literally, LITERALLY so convinced that this must be true. It feels like i already accepted that this is true. Im done. My brain is broken. I even started to have thoughts like what if i have schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder. Help me please. Do i have psychosis or what?

Everything feels so real. I think learning about non-offending pedophiles has really screwed with me. I feel like I’m not even doing compulsions anymore like I genuinely cannot remember if I do them or not and the groinal responses are messing with me. I keep having intrusive dreams and I’m in that half asleep state and I feel nothing after that or I feel weird like a good weird, I don’t know. It’s a really weird feeling when I get those thoughts but I don’t like them, I don’t think. All I know is, I keep seeking reassurance and I feel like I don’t have OCD because the way I feel, like the way I get worked up isn’t the same as others. Whenever I try to watch a show, like 9-1-1 or daily dose of sunshine, I feel like I’m watching something I shouldn’t be. Or if I’m just on my phone, I feel like something is going to happen. I feel red flags whenever I’m on my phone, like somehow cp will appear. I know that OCD is the doubting disorder but my god, this is just crazy. I feel like I’m going crazy. Everything is just nonstop, it’s so constant and I’m genuinely scared that I’ll do something when I get out of my room. I don’t know anymore, this whole OCD thing is just making me lose my mind.

I really don’t know what to do- I’ve been making it so much worse with compulsions, watching death anxiety videos or videos about why I shouldn’t be scared over and over, and getting on the same Reddit forums about death anxiety over and over all day. I’ve never felt this bad in my life and nothing feels real, I feel trapped in my own life and can’t see the way out of this theme, I’m feeling so depressed and I can’t care about anything. The rumination is awful and now I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my own corpse and everyone I know. It feels like my life has been reduced to a single line, like a timeline and I’m slowly moving across the timeline. I contacted the suicide hotline the other day but it didn’t really help, I don’t want to die and I don’t want to kill myself but life feels like it will never be the same and like I’m living in a nightmare.

I can't tell if this is OCD to be honest, but with how much I'm focusing on it, it has to be some form or another. My mom and I have never had the best relationship. Ever since I was 6 years old, my OCD has always made me feel like I need to confess my own guilts to her. Our relationship has gotten infinitely better ever since I started therapy a few years ago. Her and I have been able to talk about a lot of things in the past and she's apologized for a lot of things. Recently I've been remembering more real events that make me want to cry. I don't want to keep bringing up things to her that she's done wrong. Especially this current memory, as it was years ago and I know she didn't mean any ill-intent. I don't want to hurt her by bringing this up, because I don't want her to think I'm blaming her or make her feel like a bad mom. I can't tell if this is something I need to talk about with her to get closure, or if this is my OCD disguising itself so I can "confess" to get relief. I'm so tired, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm not even sure if I'm remembering things right anymore. Sorry if this isn't OCD or I sound crazy.

I don't know if this is ocd related I just know that my ocd feels unbearable when it happens. From time to time I'll get waves of panic attacks that for me will lasts for a week. 3 days if I'm lucky. Recently I went up to 12 days with on and off panic attacks and barely doing or eating anything. This is the longest that this has lasted. I am a overall very anxious person but these make me want to tear my skin off. Does anybody know what this is?? I brought it up to my mom and asked if it was a panic disorder, but she said she doesn't think I have one because she has one and she said that's not what a panic disorder is. I've told her about the waves of panic attacks before and I'm trying to get therapy but right now I feel terrible. Is this a symptom of ocd ?? Does anyone else go through this?? Does anyone KNOW what this is?? Please lmk and if you have anything that could help please tell me :( (I have diagnosed OCD and GAD if that helps any!!)

I don’t expect anyone to give me any reassurance that I’m a good person, because I doubt it heavily now. I don’t want to fight anymore, I can’t do it. I’m a bad person. I can’t see the light anymore I don’t think I can get better from this anymore, I think I’m gonna give up, I’m actually gonna give up, this is actually really bad that I did this, this is my proof I’m a bad person, I thought about it so I just can’t. basically I saw a a picture of 12 year old boy, and I kept testing how I felt, now I don’t know why I did this cause I know it’s wrong, meaning not good, but basically my brain was like “do you think he’s handsome” and I said “maybe I don’t know, I don’t think he’s handsome. He might be” and oh my god I can’t believe I said something like this, I know some will say “oh it might be intrusive” but I can’t anymore. I feel like I’m done. I don’t even know what kind of handsome I meant, all I know is that I was NOT trying to be disgusting in any shape or form but I can’t stand it, I can’t do this anymore

Anyone else have a hard time discerning conviction vs OCD? Been in a relationship with someone for 2 months now. We’re both believers in Christ and are active in our communities. It started off with me experiencing relationship OCD where I was struggling with doubts of my attraction towards my partner but now I’ve started to wonder if God doesn’t want me in this relationship. I’ve recently been having thoughts that I’m disobeying God and that all of this is happening as a result of me ignoring him. I’m having a hard time understanding whether I’m intentionally ignoring a conviction or if OCD is the culprit. This sucks, haha.

Does anyone have any tips they can share as to what they do to prevent intrusive images from coming into their brain? Or when it happens how to cope?

Hi! Does anyone struggle with loneliness? Especially when it comes to talking to your loved ones about what you go through. I’ve been struggling with this because it either leads to a fight or I’m not understood. My husband and I have been having some issues and I have a bad habit of bringing up the past. I don’t know why I keep doing it it’s just I get a thought and it goes into auto mode recently. We are going to marriage counseling soon but I try to tell him and family how I’m feeling and it just turns into a fight or it turns into me being dismissed. I just honestly want someone I can trust to hear me but it feels like I can’t really talk to anyone. I think it’s a relapse and I keep doing ERP but honestly I just need someone to listen. Does anyone relate or am I just it? I feel like I’m losing the love of my life and I’m breaking at the mere thought of it.

My SO-OCD is really getting in the way of my relationship and I’m so confused if it’s meant to be platonic or romantic. We have such a strong bond and I am sexually attracted to them but my SO-OCD tries to convince me that I should be with a woman bc I’m not sure if I’m 100% straight and I feel a lot of guilt about the fact that I want a relationship with a man and get intrusive thoughts about what it would be like to be with a woman instead. But it’s about this one specific girl I found attractive and I’m not sure if it’s sexual attraction or admiration and I have been fixating on this ever since I met her because I see her consistently and I’m not sure what to do. I really want this to work with him but it’s so hard for me to trust myself and what I truly want.

I’m so sick of this disorder I really am. I’m failing school because I havent gone in 5 days because of ocd, im sick right now but I could easily go to school if I wanted to, it’s not because I’m sick, it’s because I’m genuinely afraid to go out, I did a exposure by going to a fair two days ago and it was genuinely fucking horrible, I don’t feel like it helped me. I’m gonna go to school tomorrow but I’m just terrified and I know I’m gonna be miserable and it’s gonna flare up horribly. I don’t want to accept or cope with the fact I have ocd. I don’t want to be ok with my thoughts, why should I have to be ok with my thoughts to get better? Why was I made this way? Why can’t I just be normal? I don’t want to accept the fact I have horrible disgusting thoughts why should I? It makes me feel disgusting and sick. I just really wish I wasn’t dealing with this. I don’t want to die I just wish I was different, so different. I’m so sick of this. I know my past wasn’t my fault but I feel sick and disgusted and like I’m a sick fuck who should be killed or put in jail. I really can’t take it anymore i just want to be ok. I know what it feels like to be happy I just don’t know how to get back there. I was doing so good for 3 weeks. Not a single intrusive thought or urge. I was genuinely happy and now I feel horrible. I don’t want to live like this or be ok with it I just can’t it’s never gonna end why is it fair that I have to live like this?

Hello everyone! I’m new to this app and I am just looking for some help or any advice. I am 20 years old and female. I constantly think about the past and what has happened to me and my boyfriend. (Mostly about him and his ex and if he liked her more). No matter how hard I try these thoughts just flood my mind and nothing that I do helps me avoid them. I have always had issues with constant thoughts about the past and things that are stressing me out, and they just don’t go away. I thought that the thoughts about my boyfriend’s ex would fade but i’ve been with him for 2 years now and they are still constant everyday. I feel like I have to know what she’s up to and check her social media daily, if not multiple times in a day. I also check my ex’s social media daily. I don’t want to do this but I feel like I have to, and If I try not to it just makes me feel anxious. My ex was verbally and physically abusive, I was 15-17 and we were together for those two years. I have gone to PTSD therapy and I still have thoughts over and over about what happened and I wonder if it was even real. Or if I’m even remembering what happened correctly. I have constant thoughts about him and what happened between us. I also have issues such as kind of twitching when i’m really stressed out or something isn’t “right” to me. I constantly have to clean and put things in their place. I have a routine that I do everyday, such as showering in a certain order, doing my skincare in a certain order, and doing things at work in a certain order. Is this normal? And how do I help these thoughts go away… Because they have gotten so bad that it distracts me all day and is interfering with having a future with my boyfriend.

I don't know how to heal, I don't know what's real and what's fake, im so scared of my past, I cannot look forward to the future, I want to forget it all, I wish I was born different, I wish I wasn't me, why am I like this, why do I think like this. How can I stop this. It's impossibly to stop this, ill never stop this, I don't care if I can "learn to live with it" or "manage my anxiety" I just want it to stop existing period. I dont want any of this, I shouldn't have to manage anything. I just want to be free from this life and from my past.

is anyone else not able to realize that their thoughts are irrational?

I have this fear of being a psychopath or sociopath. All my life i was able to feel normal emotions like joy, sadness, guilt etc up until now where i suddenly gained this new fear of being a psychopath because i felt emotionally detached from my partner lately and i now feel like i emotionally shut down and like im on autopilot mode. Its like i cant feel anything right now, and to test myself i think of situations in my head that are bad (like someone getting hit by a car) to see if i feel any empathy and it scares me that i sometimes dont. I keep doing this over and over and i cant feel anything, im so scared of being evil or something. It triggers me when i see negative things on social media because im scared i don’t feel anything or not care about it at all. I never thought id be saying this but i WANT to feel sad or upset just so i know im not crazy.

Sometimes when I ruminate or try to disprove my themes (I know I shouldn’t do it but sometimes it’s to overwhelming and I can’t help it I’ve been getting better with it though) it feels like I’m arguing with another person, like there’s another person living in my head and they try to disprove everything I do, it’s usually a different voice from my own but when it’s really fucking with me it’s my own voice and it’s irritating, it just feels like another person lives in my head like there a bad influence and tell me to do all this shit and it’s horrible, I know it’s ocd but it just feels like another person in my head who’s constantly against me and everything I believe and when I argue I get literally no where it pulls shit out of its ass and says the most absurd shit and it makes me feel horrible, just wanted to know if anyone else’s ocd feels like it comes in the form of another person that’s living in your head?