Rambling

I don't know how to heal, I don't know what's real and what's fake, im so scared of my past, I cannot look forward to the future, I want to forget it all, I wish I was born different, I wish I wasn't me, why am I like this, why do I think like this. How can I stop this. It's impossibly to stop this, ill never stop this, I don't care if I can "learn to live with it" or "manage my anxiety" I just want it to stop existing period. I dont want any of this, I shouldn't have to manage anything. I just want to be free from this life and from my past.

Username: 777Q777Q

Date posted: 16w ago

Personally I find the riddle of it all is embracing everything that makes me who I am that is the sum of the good the bad and the indifferent only then can I have peace . Accepting of the whole thing , everything is exactly as it should be for many including the many hardships.

Username: Obi-nonymous Obi-nonymous

Date posted: 16w ago

Im still on celexa, its been a little less than a week now? i know it doesn't work over night and I know ill most likely have to up the dosage in a month, but I cant. I cant keep waiting for something to work. I've tried so many medications and therapies I just cannot do this anymore

Username: g8250hg8250h

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16w ago

I’ve been through exactly what you’re going through and you’re not alone. I don’t know if you’re looking for advice but something that helps me is to remember that feeling like this is temporary. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now especially when you’re feeling awful all the time but it does get better. Remember that you’re here to get help and you should be proud of yourself for seeking it. Some days are going to be worse than others but the good moments will come, I promise.

Username: Brian__Brian__

Date posted: 16w ago

I get how you feel this disorder is fucking horrible and it’s extremely hard to cope with, I don’t want to cope with it at all, I’m going through the same thing as you. I wish I could offer advice on how to fix this because I really do get how fucking draining and exhausting this shit show of a disorder is but I don’t know how to help myself either, I just wanna let you know your not alone though and that I’m hoping you can some day overcome yours

Username: Livi_luwho426

Date posted: 25w ago

I’m so scared of everything .

So many thoughts are coming into my head right now I don’t know how to think. I don’t even know how I am going to put this into words on here I just don’t know what to do . I am so scared of throwing up it’s so hard to explain . Everybody tells me “well no likes getting sick” but they don’t get it. It’s not just that, I am scared about getting any major illness and my mind keeps making me think that everything will give me food poisoning or a stomach bug if I am not careful or if I don’t check my temperature ten times in a row . I have to wash every produce throughly if I don’t I will do it again. And it sucks . Every time my stomach hurts I think that I will get sick. I barely eat and sleep because I am so scared . I am scared to sleep because I genuinely think that “anything can happen while I am asleep” so even if I take sleep medication my mind makes me stay awake out of fear. I just want to feel normal . I can never eat out without doing research of the place I am eating at and even after that it doesn’t help. I always feel worried that I will get sick on an important date just because that day is important like Halloween or an upcoming concert or hanging out with friends , so now I just mainly stay at home … but it hurts me because i want to live ( it's ironic because Liv is my name) so badly . my dream is to someday go on a Europe trip but i can hardly leave my state without thinking that something bad will happen to me . its getting unbearable at times . I wonder what it would feel like to not be completely burdened by anxiety and horribly disgusting thoughts every second of my life. And if you're wondering why I haven't had any medication prescribed to me is because I am also scared about taking any medication . I just feel helpless and it's my own fault . And I know I am holding myself back at times but I just don't know how to stop being scared and how to stop worrying about every aspect of my life . It's going to drive me insane .

Username: landonw

Date posted: 14w ago

What’s Going On?

Is this my life now? A loop of fears and panic? Freshman year.. two years ago is when all this started. When I began my journey with this debilitating and scary disorder. For a while I felt like everything was okay. Like things were getting better. But tonight it’s getting so bad. I’m shaking, the thoughts are literally making my body enter fight or flight. The feelings.. the thoughts it all feels so real. It makes me question every aspect of who I am.. Is this forever? Will this be my life? If it is, that sounds like pain.. I constantly check myself.. which ain’t realize might be a compulsion. But I wonder, am I lying to myself? But then again I wouldn’t fear it so much if what I felt was true. I try to stay calm, to not fight the thought but let it pass. But it only grows in power. It’s been giving me these fake feelings. Things in which i’d never felt before. I just want to be okay. And I wonder if that’s even possible anymore. All I know is that I have my family, my Mom, everyone who loves me dearly. Please anyone… I don’t want to beg but if you could give me some motivation or positive words i’d love that.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Rambling

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community