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Ocd is just so exhausting.. i ahte myself and im just so disgusted by the way i am .

Currently obsessing over me being the only “real” or conscious person in the world, and that everyone I love isn’t actually real. I know deep down that this is ocd, but I feel like by not ruminating I’m just ignoring the fear (which feels so real and scary). Has anyone experienced anything similar and how did you get out of this worry? Trying not to seek reassurance as it’s one of my compulsions, but I’m very distressed.

a little bit about me, i have dealt with mental health issues for my whole life. i went undiagnosed for many years, being because my family (at the time) didn’t believe in mental illness, it was believed that everything could be fixed with a little “talk with Jesus” that being said, for as long as i can remember i have had the intrusive thoughts, the obsessive thoughts. i can remember being a little kid trying to pray to god and my mind would be telling me over and over again that i hated god, that i loved the devil, that i wanted to go to hell. i also believed that if i didn’t pray for every single family member that they would die. i still to this day have trouble sleeping because im convinced that the rapture will happen, and i will be left behind. well as the years have progressed, these intrusive thoughts and obsessions have become worse, resulting in me thinking about harming myself and others when i have no intentions to do so. i also have been struggling with and obsessing over people dying, and mourning people that are still alive and well.

I need somebody to tell me if I’m a monster or not. Nobody’s replying to my posts and it scares me. Am I too far gone? Why am I so numb? I hate these horrible thoughts, I think. I think. I’m so full of doubt, I don’t know what I want or don’t want anymore. I think I don’t want this. This feels like the end of the road.

I forced myself out for a drink with my girlfriend and her friends as my thoughts were being centered around this will happen if you go etc. I said I wasn't going to drink a lot but then the thoughts subsided and I started drinking more and when we were in the last pub I got racing instrusive thoughts of murdering/raping and causing harm to people and myself. These intensified when we got home and the vivid images of the acts I was commuting were so vile and graphic (skinning people/eating there brains and organs to name a few), I tried talking to my girlfriend about the thoughts of killing her family etc and she likes not judged me but couldn't handle the thoughts and that made me spiral to the point of having suicidal thoughts and making an attempt for my own life. I didn't tell her I was feeling suicidal or that I didn't want to act on these thoughts and now I feel terrible. I have been told to sit with the imagery and thoughts but how does one do that when its constant.

Hey guys have you ever just start doing something, either work, practice, or simply just enjoy life with family and friends, but then all of the sudden you just start to want to cry over your thoughts, and every mistake you made, every mental image you feel guilty over.

Last night I had a weird dream I don’t feel comfortable saying what about but it was definitely a dream against who I am and my beliefs… the dream made me feel so scared and disgusted and worried because why am I dreaming of something so weird and something that doesn’t even correspond to me at all.. can someone help it’s making me feel like a bad person. It’s making me feel so worried like why did I dream such a bad thing what does it mean does it make me a bad person.?? I hate it

I am a 22 year old female and have never gotten into a relationship due to the fact that I have OCD and how ugly it can get at times. I also feel like I would be a burden and be too much to handle especially in modern dating when people want to have fun and dont want to deal with anything that's exhausting not saying it's wrong but that's how it is. I have these two mindsets of 'I'll have someone who will accept me someday' Or 'I'll just be on my own cause that's what's good for me'.I don't think anyone will look at me and think they want to settle down with me or stuff. I feel like i will be too much to handle. Even if someone likes me, they will never actually love me enough to spend their life with me. Maybe if I were more pretty maybe people might put up with me idk really. This just saddens me to the core. I don't know how to deal with this. Is there any hope for me P.S my ocd is manageable most of the time but when it flares up it gets ugly and i go non-functional

I’ve got ocd (lol obs) and I’ve always had it, and I’ve tried to tell my mom so many times. I’m 17, and for years I’ve had so many horrific (what I call) flare ups. And it sometimes feels like a bingo game w the amount of types I’ve had. Sometimes I really do just wish I could go to my mom and say “mom I’ve got ocd and it’s really bad atm and I just wanna be okay again because I know it’s ocd but I’m sick of it being there can I please please get some help please it’s not okay please get me some help.” The ironic part is she’s a frigging nurse. And she must just be in some kinda denial. I’m just kinda waiting for this part to pass, I’ve made it 17 years w nobody to help me. I’ve only just told my friends what it’s like but I said things that weren’t currently in my flare up. I swear I’m on the verge of being sectioned for psychosis at this point. But I have made it this far- it will go away at some point on its own. But why won’t my mom help me. Why’s she so defensive- (I know why just like “why oh why won’t she. Yk?) but she’s so blinded by no no it’s all okay everything is okay. I’m sat in my room thinking the only way I could make her see- mom I rly am not okay is if I k*//ed myself. Like, then she’ll be like “…ohhh so she wasn’t okaaay” 💀🥹 if any one person could read this, and just type that it’s okay or something not as obs and generic as “it’s okay” but like just something to show someone’s listened. Thanks. I’ll ignore my trust issues, it’s an ocd app we’re all out here struggling but thanks x🤍🤌

My recent intrusive thoughts have been triggering bad panic attacks. Do you guys also get panic attacks or anxiety from your intrusive thoughts? 😣

Make you feel like you actually do? I’ve always checked my feelings to try and find my “real” ones and now…when I check, my brain runs away with the thought and makes me feel like I’d actually enjoy hurting my dog. Please help.

Do you think one day in recovery they’ll be a day I don’t think about the fact I even have ocd?

I have never dated anyone bc of the fear that ocd would flare up too much and cause problems but this time i have taken a leap of faith and thought to myself that whatever ocd is gonna throw my way I will deal with it cause that's what I should be doing cause I can't not do anything in my life. What are your tips to when my ocd flares up due to me dating

Hello everyone. My name is Cathy and I have severe intrusive thoughts that seem to come out of no where. However only one thought at a time. I fixate on that scary thought for days and days and my anxiety builds up and up. I try to then attack the suggested catastrophic thought such I may have this disease or going to die from that disease or rot in hell etc. scary thoughts always. I try and do a ton of research on line to counter attack the thought trying to prove it wrong and this helps me but if I can’t find something that proves I won’t get the disease or have it already or prove other things too depending on what the thought is, it doesn’t help at all and can make it worse. Is anyone out there experiencing what I have. I don’t have ocd cleaning or washing or checking but have intrusive scary thoughts.

sorry for bothering, for posting too much. but can ocd cause you to sort of.. change? i’m scared i will change. right now i don’t feel like typing all extra with a bunch of emojis and hearts like i usually do. it was usually to represent my values of love and kindness and positivity. but i don t feel like doing that. i feel like typing like this. i’m worried that i will lose my values/morals. i’m scared i am becoming a less emotional or empathetic person. i’m scared that i forced myself to be that way in the past. i’m worried that i don’t know who i am and i will never truly know who i am or feel at peace with myself or my values. i’m worried that because of this ocd i am changed forever. i’m even worried that it isn’t ocd anymore.

Any tips on whenever you’re getting that intrusive thought, what can I tell myself without reassuring myself

I went to see a psychiatrist today. She was pretty nice, but even though I was listing ALL symptoms of OCD, all the obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, she was uncertain about it, as if she did not understand what was going on. She didn't rule out the possibility of me having OCD, but she didn't confirm it. I understand that doctors usually won't diagnose patients in their first visit, but goddamn... I'm so scared right now. I keep doubting that I have OCD myself, I identify with all the symptoms but I doubt it all the time and feel the need to reassure myself that I have the disorder. If I don't have OCD, my life is fucking over. She gave me a diagnosis for Generalized Anxiety Disorder and prescribed me some medication. I received that diagnosis because I shared some of the trouble I'm going through at work. But if I fear that I don't really have OCD if an actual mental health professional can't recognize that as OCD. All the relentless researching, rumination, mental checking/testing, spending hours doing these things to achieve a sense of certainty and avoiding things out of fear of getting triggered.

So- I had glasses before and I just got a new prescription- my eye power increased by like .5 which is not that serious but still I needed new glasses- but I have had these new glasses for like 3 days and on the first day I faced some eyestrain but its not there anymore- but I feel like im convincing myself that it is the wrong eye power and I feel like im exaggerating the wonkiness of the glasses 😭 bc there is an adjustment period with new glasses but I dont know- what if its the wrong prescription and i have to get new ones and i dont have time bc school starts in 12 days and i need my new glasses before but if its the wrong one i will actually explode- AND WHDJSJSKSKAKKZKS what if im going blind 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 no but seriously I keep convincing myself that this is the wrong eye power even though I can see clearly- but idk in my head im like “its wonky” “it looks wonky” “you cant see” “you need new glasses” “youre going blind” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

As the title states, my intrusive thought of "being in a dream" when I'm conscious is horrible tonight. Constant need of reassurance, trying to find any distraction. I can't get this thought out of my head no matter what I do. It's on the top of my thinking list 24/7 no matter what I try. Im feeling bad derealization and it makes me want to wish I didn't exist..I was fine before my panic attack from an ocular migraine (losing my eyesight is my biggest fear)...but now I'm not living...I'm just surviving...I'm very depressed...I haven't eaten today and had to remind myself to take a shower, brush my teeth, and drink water. I have a therapy session on here tomorrow...I'm praying so hard that I get answers and ways to get rid of this stupid thought that appeared out of nowhere....

I tend to really obsess over stuff that irritates me. Or is hard to accept. Like I obsessively want to correct anything people say annoys me. Anyone else?