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the NOCD Community

Do you think one day in recovery they’ll be a day I don’t think about the fact I even have ocd?

I have never dated anyone bc of the fear that ocd would flare up too much and cause problems but this time i have taken a leap of faith and thought to myself that whatever ocd is gonna throw my way I will deal with it cause that's what I should be doing cause I can't not do anything in my life. What are your tips to when my ocd flares up due to me dating

Hello everyone. My name is Cathy and I have severe intrusive thoughts that seem to come out of no where. However only one thought at a time. I fixate on that scary thought for days and days and my anxiety builds up and up. I try to then attack the suggested catastrophic thought such I may have this disease or going to die from that disease or rot in hell etc. scary thoughts always. I try and do a ton of research on line to counter attack the thought trying to prove it wrong and this helps me but if I can’t find something that proves I won’t get the disease or have it already or prove other things too depending on what the thought is, it doesn’t help at all and can make it worse. Is anyone out there experiencing what I have. I don’t have ocd cleaning or washing or checking but have intrusive scary thoughts.

sorry for bothering, for posting too much. but can ocd cause you to sort of.. change? i’m scared i will change. right now i don’t feel like typing all extra with a bunch of emojis and hearts like i usually do. it was usually to represent my values of love and kindness and positivity. but i don t feel like doing that. i feel like typing like this. i’m worried that i will lose my values/morals. i’m scared i am becoming a less emotional or empathetic person. i’m scared that i forced myself to be that way in the past. i’m worried that i don’t know who i am and i will never truly know who i am or feel at peace with myself or my values. i’m worried that because of this ocd i am changed forever. i’m even worried that it isn’t ocd anymore.

Any tips on whenever you’re getting that intrusive thought, what can I tell myself without reassuring myself

I went to see a psychiatrist today. She was pretty nice, but even though I was listing ALL symptoms of OCD, all the obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, she was uncertain about it, as if she did not understand what was going on. She didn't rule out the possibility of me having OCD, but she didn't confirm it. I understand that doctors usually won't diagnose patients in their first visit, but goddamn... I'm so scared right now. I keep doubting that I have OCD myself, I identify with all the symptoms but I doubt it all the time and feel the need to reassure myself that I have the disorder. If I don't have OCD, my life is fucking over. She gave me a diagnosis for Generalized Anxiety Disorder and prescribed me some medication. I received that diagnosis because I shared some of the trouble I'm going through at work. But if I fear that I don't really have OCD if an actual mental health professional can't recognize that as OCD. All the relentless researching, rumination, mental checking/testing, spending hours doing these things to achieve a sense of certainty and avoiding things out of fear of getting triggered.

Hi, I'm Sky. I'm not 100% sure if I have OCD or not. I've had multiple psychiatrist diagnose me with it but also one that said I was misdiagnosed. It does run in my family heavily on my father's side. I was wondering if anyone could talk to me about their experiences with OCD so maybe I can see if I relate. I feel like I suffer from intrusive thoughts but I also struggle with CPTSD and GAD. I find myself obsessing over made up scenarios or problems and I cant think of anything else. I have a lot of routines but I'm not sure if they are OCD related or not. I know this input wouldn't truly tell me if I have it or not and that I should reach out for another professional opinion, and I will. But I'm just trying to reassure myself that it's even worth bringing up. (Cat gif just because it's cute uwu)

I had a lot of mental stamina before my OCD got severe and I often compare my current state of being to who I was. I especially do this with the recovery I experienced 2 years into ERP. I thought I'd never have to face that terrible suffering again. A lot happened last year and my OCD blew up in my face. It's been difficult, but in a different way than I experienced when first going through OCD. Rather than being moved by desperation to recover, I became apathetic, which scared me even more. But here's what I've learned for myself about recovery apathy and I hope someone finds this helpful, too, because I haven't heard many people really talking about it. - My apathy was actually overwhelm. I had fought hard to overcome OCD and the thought of having to go through that again triggered feelings of hopelessness. Really, in retrospect, I see that it was rooted in a desire to get out of the spiral immediately because what if this ruined all of my progress? - By expecting myself to feel better quickly, I became fixated on monitoring my internal world. I was checking every feeling and sensation I had, and using them to figure out how to escape. The more I did this, however, the more I lost touch with my actual needs and desires. - I began to feel ashamed of myself for slipping and losing myself. I kept telling myself I'd do xyz to get back on top, but either wouldn't follow through, the goals would be too big, or whatever I was aiming for was a means of neutralizing the noise, as I like to call it. When you try to neutralize OCD noise, it just gets louder. - My repeated "fails" and attempts to fix myself amplified my shame and feelings of apathy. I didn't know how to break free or sit with what I was doing to myself. I didn't even know how I was doing it. I felt like all of my OCD knowledge went out the window. - A year into it, I have started to learn that it's all the same. This is also OCD. The noise tells me that I can't get better unless I do x first, I need to pay attention to how I'm feeling to learn how to take care of myself, I need to analyze my thoughts and sort through all the uncertainty. At the core of all of these fear-statements is a little girl who feels unsafe. - I started a journal on my compulsions, opened up to people I trust, and moved towards discomfort. I feel anxious and don't know why? Huh, guess I'll color for a bit and use that as inspiration. I used to love writing but now it feels like an apathetic gridlock? I'll set a timer for 10 minutes and write creatively without editing. I'm scared of being weird at work and being so uncool I'm not well liked? Unfortunate, that's their loss because I'm pretty cool. - I work on building myself up instead of analyzing thoughts about whether or not I'm worthy or loveable. I reconnect to things I loved as a kid. I invite my body to relax instead of forcing it to because I choose to honor how afraid it is after being through so much stress and turmoil. I hug myself and imagine hugging that little girl, and I remind myself that I never need permission to be loved. I go to my fiance when I feel trapped or alone, and when he isn't around, I utilize empty chair exercises where I have an open discussion between myself and those lonely parts of me. - Essentially, I realize that acceptance comes from befriending and normalizing our experiences. Just because others don't understand or don't like us doesn't mean we must feel that way about ourselves. What we experience is just as valid as what anyone else goes through and we don't always like or understand them, yet they treat themselves well. Shame tells us we can't be kind to ourselves, rather we must fix something that's wrong in us. I've learned that the true exposure is to soothe the shame with as many tears, hugs, and hobbies as it takes.

How do you stop the bad number loop

My dog almost got attacked by a pitbull. I was walking him and I was lucky that my little cousin was with me, she saw that the gate from a house was open and a big pitbull was coming near us. If she wouldnt be there i wouldnt notice the dog and he wouldve killed my dog. I just cant handle this stress, everytime im afraid something or someone will kill my dog, im just tired of people being so fckn irresponsible, im tired of this. I love my dog but i cant handle this stress. The worst part is i cant do anything about this, i cant control others, i cant make sure everytime that my dog wont get hurt. I cant just accept that it is what it is, if he dies he dies. Im angry that i just hear to be angry and listen it cause theres a problem you have to solve, well what is i cant solve the problem? This just makes me feel hopeless i cant control the outside world, there are dogs outside without leash, people dont close their gates and dogs can just come out, last sunday we were in a park and a guy was walking with 3 big dogs without leash and one started following us, this thing is so stressful to me... My parents doesnt help me cause all i get is its my fault why did i wanted a dog... I dont want to lose him or give him away, but this sht is really stressful, im at peace at all since i got him.The worst part is i hear alot of stories people losing their little dog by some other dog killing it or dying by an illness and i should just accept it but thats not that easy... if you have a kid and he/she is in danger, do you just accept it is what it is, you might lose them cause you cant control poeple? I dont know what to do, theres no safety plan, i still will be afraid and i want to stop worry. Its a problem that i still keep obsessing about what happened, but im tired of this, im tired of irresponsible people, im tired of living in fear.

I cant live with myself I’m too the point I don’t even wanna eat .. wake up bad anxiety.. questioning myself if it’s even intrusive thoughts or ptsd .. I can’t do this

So- I had glasses before and I just got a new prescription- my eye power increased by like .5 which is not that serious but still I needed new glasses- but I have had these new glasses for like 3 days and on the first day I faced some eyestrain but its not there anymore- but I feel like im convincing myself that it is the wrong eye power and I feel like im exaggerating the wonkiness of the glasses 😭 bc there is an adjustment period with new glasses but I dont know- what if its the wrong prescription and i have to get new ones and i dont have time bc school starts in 12 days and i need my new glasses before but if its the wrong one i will actually explode- AND WHDJSJSKSKAKKZKS what if im going blind 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 no but seriously I keep convincing myself that this is the wrong eye power even though I can see clearly- but idk in my head im like “its wonky” “it looks wonky” “you cant see” “you need new glasses” “youre going blind” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

As the title states, my intrusive thought of "being in a dream" when I'm conscious is horrible tonight. Constant need of reassurance, trying to find any distraction. I can't get this thought out of my head no matter what I do. It's on the top of my thinking list 24/7 no matter what I try. Im feeling bad derealization and it makes me want to wish I didn't exist..I was fine before my panic attack from an ocular migraine (losing my eyesight is my biggest fear)...but now I'm not living...I'm just surviving...I'm very depressed...I haven't eaten today and had to remind myself to take a shower, brush my teeth, and drink water. I have a therapy session on here tomorrow...I'm praying so hard that I get answers and ways to get rid of this stupid thought that appeared out of nowhere....

I tend to really obsess over stuff that irritates me. Or is hard to accept. Like I obsessively want to correct anything people say annoys me. Anyone else?

The other day I was with my mom and I had these intense urge to do this horrible thought, and a knife was in the table and I grabbed it but I grabbed it knowing that I know I was not capable of doing it and I put in the sink, I had to grab it in order for me to stop the “urge” that I was having. I love this women with all my life she’s been my inspiration to keep going forward, but ocd is telling me that I grabbed the knife because I actually wanted to do it. I don’t know if what I did was ok or not, or if I’m actually dangerous.

I tell people my situation, they say it's nothing big or it's fine, I was a teenager. I still feel awful, magically thinking that the persons going to change their mind and expose me to the world that I'm an awful person even though they said I had no affect on them whatsoever. I feel guilty to admit I've shared it with numerous people, whether a little older or the same age, never younger because I feel uncomfortable talking to younger people. Still, everyone says I did nothing wrong and there's nothing to worry about, but I'm more concerned about the fact I feel like I truly did something horrible, I feel like what if someone's enabling my actions, even though they say they're being honest. I feel awful, and I know I have to sit with discomfort and all that bad stuff, but truly I feel disgusting. I've isolated myself for weeks, and I just don't want to hurt the other person, it's made me question my own intentions too. Does anyone else feel this way? I just feel like my mistakes are worse than anyone else on this app or in the world.

I confess so many horrible intrusive thoughts to my partner about his height the way he looks other people etc for so many years and now I feel so numb I’m so tired of all these thoughts now they feel real I don’t even know what to say to my boyfriend when he asks if I want to be with someone else because my ocd has become so believable that I feel like I’m supposed to break up with him I feel so sad I’ve been with my boyfriend 5 years and I just don’t even know how to navigate this

does anyone sometimes feel like you think and overthink too much to the point that you actually star believing that it’s true and maybe you’re just in denial? my mind actually convinces me that i have a crush on someone and it really does feel real even though i still feel deep down that something’s wrong. like I know it’s ocd but it feels so real it’s exhausting

Often times my OCD will convince me that my entire personality is a lie and that i’ve actually just created it in a long scheme of manipulation to get people to like me and that in reality im a horrible person. It’s really stressful and im not sure how to negate it. I’ve tried talking to my therapist about it and she tried to combat these thoughts by retelling her observations of my behavior and how my friends view me but then i think, hmm what if all that i’ve shown them is a lie in order to produce this response of “oh, of course you’re a good person”! I’m afraid that there is this deep evil part of me lurking beneath a facade that i’ve created even though ive never put that sort of thought into who i am at any point in my life (making it to be a facade, that is) it’s not my most reoccurring intrusive thought, but certainly a stressful one.

I don’t know why my brain keeps targeting you but it is and it’s pissing me off, I hate how my head goes like oh did they bleed or enjoyed it or why didn’t they and I know full well why they didn’t and it just pisses me off because I don’t want these fucking thoughts anyone!- Or ask these questions. Oh did you cry?- Or the fact that more stuff pop into my head and me just imagining what happened is stuck in my mind and one of my thoughts- I don’t want to say sexualised- More like it popped up- About a baby!- I DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL!- I know it’s wrong!- I can’t even look at any other porn and my head keeps saying that I like my mom romantically and not platonically!- LIKE WHY ME?!— IT JUST PISSES ME OFF AND I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE I JUST WANT TO SEE THE DOCTERS SO I CAN STOP SUFFERING WITH THESE THOUGHTS AND IMAGES, I FEEL LIKE I VICTEM BLAME THEM AS WELL, MY THOUGHTS ARE LIKE THAT WHEN I KNOW IT WASNT THEIR FUCKING FAULT!— AND IM SO SORRY.