Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Hey guys - I am currently in the midst of what is possibly the most difficult OCD attack I have battled thus far. Not sure what everyone else’s experience looks like with the diagnosis but I have extended periods of feeling rather well (with minor rituals and thought processes showing up) followed by some major event or trigger popping up that sends me into spirals that can last for months on end. There are days where I feel that I am unable to function as a normal human being (getting out of bed, taking care of my hygiene, going to work, feeding myself, etc.) I guess my point in posting while on the midst of a valley is just to get some encouragement that it is in fact possible to recover and that the suffering won’t be forever.

Does anyone else ever feel like they can't write down anything that has to do with their OCD? (even making this post is hard and I'll probably delete it) I feel like when I put things into words or write it down either way it makes it more real and so I avoid it. Also, I had a realization and I want to see if this is accurate.... When I have a thought, whether it be valid concern or something wildly made up, if I take a moment and think about this thought and if I don't I'll have anxiety, is that a mental compulsion? I always thought I wasn't really doing mental compulsions but sometimes I hide in the bathroom to try and sort out my thoughts so I must be doing them. I always feel like I'll forget the progress I've made in my thought process since my mind is always going 24/7 so I have to fully think it out before I can let it go. And then when my mind comes back to it, I start the process over.

If I didn’t have ocd my life would be so beautiful is sad 😞

Something I’m having a hard time understand and accepting is that you can’t control your thoughts. On one end, I’m told that it’s not my fault that I have these thoughts so it’s ok for them to be there, but the automatic thoughts about that thought (such as negative connotations) are what I need stop doing. But because they are thoughts, and thoughts are uncontrollable, what am I supposed to do? I understand I need to just let my thoughts be there. I understand I need to not beat myself up. But everything is so automatic I feel stuck. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Hi guys, I know I’m annoying as heck. I am always on here posting or needing help. I’m having bad anxiety right now and just am so scared. Everyone says sit with anxiety or just let it be. I always just think about going to the hospital or why I feel so bad. Wondering why or what I can do. I know I’ve had OCD but it just came for no reason besides that! I’m so scared!

Anyone else’s OCD come in waves? That’s the only way I can describe it. I’m doing good in therapy for a few weeks, and then all of a sudden it gets really bad, with no apparent trigger?

Lately my ocd is latching onto my children. In my opinion, for me, this is the most painful and most debilitating theme of ocd. My daughter asked me to help her wash and rinse the shampoo from her hair while she was in the shower because she has thick hair and sometimes she has trouble shampooing and rinsing it all out. A normal, common task for me. At some point I caught a glimpse of her private area and my ocd immediately tried to make me believe I looked intentionally. I know I didn’t and I know I do not think of her or any child in that way but now my ocd has me questioning myself. I was just doing what I always do so I don’t remember at what point I saw it. Was I reaching for and looking down for the shampoo when I saw it or was I reaching up to her hair and saw it as I looked up? Did I look due to just normal human tendency to look where we know we’re not supposed to and if that’s the case does that make me horrible? I’m driving myself insane trying to prove I do NOT feel or think that way about her. I don’t want to live if this is how my brain works. Ocd is evil and this is the hardest kind of intrusive thought to get past. 😩

Does anyone ever get compulsions when it comes to texting? I will receive a message from someone and if I don’t want to respond right away I won’t open it, but if it’s been too long before I open it I just can’t until they text me again. Or if I text someone I have to reopen the message multiple times every few seconds in case they responded and I didn’t notice, or in case they read it, or to make sure I said what I meant to say and it can’t be perceived differently. This usually leads to me having a crazy amount of unopened messages, and a crazy amount of anxiety. Texting has become an unreliable source of communication for me so I usually call or don’t talk to anyone unless they’re in person

I have some questions as to how to distinguish avoidance vs. self-care. I am struggleing a lot with things like rumination and obsessing over certain topics. But at the same time I know that full-out avoidance of triggering topics/material is also bad for OCD. So how do you draw the line between the too? Like not compulsively engaging with certain things but also not to avoid them?

Hi!! I've been doing pretty good lately but the thoughts haven't stopped the anxiety is less now. But tired of hearing the thoughts. I'm a confident straight woman and all ai want to be with is a man. I've been single for years and i have been wanting a boyfriend. The thoughts are making me feel like I'm just lying to myself and it's annoying and frustrating.

I’m in a loop with my ocd and I know it’s telling me bs but I know it’s only going on and on because I’m engaging with rumination, I’m determined to stop it but every time an intrusive thought comes in the urge to do rumination is so strong and it’s so scary not to do it. The rumination is making me so much worse and I need to stop it but I don’t know how. Any advice please?🩷

Since I was little I had a passion for mathematics. I'm currently 14 doing university-level math and have practically decided for math to be my future career path. Quite oddly, it seems like OCD started attacking this interest, as I'm really unsure if I even enjoy it anymore or not and I'm really scared because if not math, I'm not sure what I'd want to do. Is this OCD or a sign I should move onto something else?

Send any support you can for dealing with this. It is very difficult.

Does anyone have fear of just “thinking?” Like being scared to just think? My thoughts can get very racy, & intense. It can feel like I have too many thoughts at once. I’m afraid of being a bad person. Im afraid my intentions aren’t always good. Sometimes I have very negative thoughts about people. Im always scared of what my motivations are. I feel lost.

I’m deleting the app. I can’t keep doing what I’ve been doing. If there is something horribly wrong with me I need to stop posting about it daily, and if it really is OCD this app isn’t helping me either.

I have been anxious about this one specific thing for a few days now. I keep telling my parents about it over and over again. I am going on a big trip tomorrow with my friend and big trips or events trigger my OCD into thinking the trip has to be perfect. Should I tell my Mom what keeps bothering me before I leave for my trip even though I’ve already told her several times about it the past few days I’ve been anxious about it and even though she keeps getting mad at me for repeating it?

My dads recently been diagnosed with brain cancer and has had surgery to remove it, the absolute most stressful and worst time of my life. I had a pretty good grasp on my OCD but it has COMPLETELY let loose. Is this normal for OCD to flair up and get really bad when something extremely stressful and nerve racking comes up? My intrusive thoughts are hammering right now it’s eating me alive in already such a difficult time.

Does anyone’s intrusive thoughts feel like urges? Like it’s telling you that you want to do it but you really don’t and then after you get that urge you feel like you did the action? Idk if that makes sense

Has rumination ever helped you uncover small parts of the memory your obsessed with? For me it seems like this is happening and I’m getting excited at the idea of remembering almost everything and not having to deal with doubt and false memories surrounding it.

How do I tell myself to worry/do OCD stuff later. I’ve been anxious for different thing for a couple hours now and I just wanna take a break. But if I don’t do my OCD stuff in this exact moment, it won’t feel right and I feel like I will ruin it. Especially since a big event just happened and I get anxious during big events because I wanna enjoy them and not worry during, or in this case, after they happened.